Going for Brighter Colors & Changes

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I complimented the librarian in the computer area today.

She has a habit of wearing blacks, browns and grays.

There have been occasionally some varying tones in her

clothing choices, with an addition of little bits of color.

Having talked to her often, observed her grading high

school papers, and knowing she is a volunteer after

teaching all day, I was thrilled to see more color in

her attire today.

The woman looked up from her work, giving me a brilliant

smile. She informed me that her husband had encouraged her

to ‘change up’ her color palette in her wardrobe. She added

this personal detail- she was working on waiting to lose a

certain amount of weight, before buying her new sized,

Spring and Summer clothes.

I mentioned to her that was an excellent reward system

she had going on! I gently suggested to just buy a few

scarves or tops, showing that she had listened to her

husband. Just in case she thought I was being too ‘pushy,’

or opinionated, I added, “It is always nice to have their

‘permission to spend money on ourselves.'”

Then, it was an even more intimate moment we shared. We

both smiled like we had shared an ‘inside joke’ or secret.

I took my seat and then, decided to let all of you out

there, men, women and young people who may be following

my blog in on the secret! Try out a different style,

new color or add patterns to your clothes…

Spice up your wardrobe!

It is fun to pass on a good idea and since some live

on a simpler, tighter budget, like myself, go on over

to your local resale shop or thrift store to rejuvenate

your ‘look!’

As a way to create conversation, my brother, Randy the

artist painted on a white linen jacket, billowing aqua,

turquoise and creamy-colored clouds for an art gallery

opening, held in California. He is one who looks quite

dapper, although his FB page is not so great, he has lost

weight and cut his hair, so he also needs to ‘change up!’

When I thought about my last years of teaching, I had

a rainbow of colors every day reflected in my clothing.

My other brother, the professor, loves it when I buy

him ‘cool’ ties. He likes school related theme ties,

along with ones that just have music, art or jazz

up his ‘look.’ Trying something new is good for all

of us, both sexes, wherever we work or go out and

about in society. It may just create a little magic

for you and your special person, or attract someone

who has not noticed you before.

At my current job, I tend to wear those dismal colors

of black, gray, brown and an occasional dark blue. This

had been my mode of operandi to prevent damage and stains

that are impossible to get out of my work clothes. It is a

dirty place; lots of times I look like ‘Pigpen’ from the

Charles Schulz comic strip, “Peanuts!”

Wouldn’t it be nice to just go ahead and wear some

colorful patterns that are more exciting looking to my

current workplace?

I mean, less drab… Maybe this would encourage others to

‘cross over to the sunny side of the street.’ I definitely

feel the need to get out of my rut!

I read a book recently on relationships written by Sara

Eckel. It was called, “It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons

You’re Single,” (208 pages) If you are thinking about the

current dating scene, if you have someone you know who is,

or if you just are curious about the newer way things are

going out in a different facet of society…

Check this book out! It is a funny, interesting and

enlightening guidebook for the newly single people out

there, for ones who wonder,

“Why on Earth was it so easy back when I dated the last

time? And now, it is nearly impossible!”

The author approaches the subject in a very positive

manner, where she insists it is not you being anyone

that is repelling the opposite sex away. She thinks it

is just you haven’t met the right person yet!

I have paraphrased the following section, in my own

words, with my personal ‘slant’ added:

One of the myths that she ‘de-bunks’ is for example,

1. “You are too needy.”

No. that is not why you haven’t attracted someone to you.

Another one is,

2. “You are unrealistic.”

No, if is okay to have goals, choices and favorite attributes

(and values) in mind when you are seeking to find another

person to possibly spend the rest of your life with.

This one I have heard before,

3. “You are too picky.”

This was something someone said to me recently. That

comment really ‘got under my ‘craw,’ I will tell you!

I think that having been married three times, I should

know what works, what didn’t and hopefully, once and for

all, I should make plans and lists and actually, use them!

I need to understand what are the characteristics I am

looking for and then, not ‘sway’ too much from the

outline. Nice people don’t mean they are good matches.

Not just fall for the next guy who buys me dinner!

The author’s great question addresses why have we become

a society where we assign blame for being particular and

trying to make good choices?

Here are Sara Eckel’s own words on the subject:

“We’re a nation that believes strongly in personal efficacy–

if there’s something in your life that isn’t working quite

the way you’d like, then the problem must begin and end

with you.”

The myths include how we view ourselves through other’s

eyes, instead of relying on our own common sense.

Here are two more myths, to share with you.

4. “You’re too intimidating.”

5. “You should have married that guy.”

Don’t listen to the ones who tend to place the blame

on you. Make sure that you surround yourself with

supportive people who are cheering for you and wish

that you will find someone to be your partner or

close friend of the opposite sex. The important thing

to remember isn’t,

“Why are you still single?”

but “Why are near strangers so often compelled to

comment or demand answers.” I wish to add, sometimes

family members and your best friends may be part of

the naysayers. You need to develop a positive attitude

where you can deflect their comments and act like you

are doing ‘just fine’ without the negative opinions.

Hope this helps everyone in some aspect of their life.

I highly recommend this ‘no nonsense’ book and trying

out a new way of doing something. Hair style, clothing

style or the way you walk, with your confidence showing,

shoulders back and a broad smile to carry you and others

through their days.

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22 responses »

  1. I love to compliment people on their clothing, especially their color choices. I think wearing color makes you feel better.
    Great post, Robin! I’m going to suggest Sara’s book to my single friend. She’s never been married and wants to be in a committed relationship.

    • I will cross my fingers for your friend and recommend, Eharmony, over match.com. I have heard from two nieces, in their thirties that online dating you have to be specific in your interests and needs. This is good advice, they both met their husbands online and one, has two children and an exciting life, she never dreamed of the interests her husband shares! Smiles, Robin

      • Thanks, Robin! I know she has tried many of the online sites. I’ll have to encourage her to try Eharmony again. Your nieces stories should be encouraging for her.
        Enjoy your day tomorrow!

    • I am so excited for all who will view you in your hot pink tomorrow! Hope it is a jazzy and exciting day, full of unique outcomes possibly from the change from your neutral palette! Smiles, Robin

  2. I’ve never understood why black, brown and grey are considered “safe” colors. What does that mean? Some people look great in those colors, but most people look much better with some color. I dress in lots of bright colors like lime green, teal and orange. They’re the colors that make me feel the best. πŸ™‚

    • I can see you in the brighter spectrum of colors, Celeste! Thanks for coming on over and letting me know your thoughts! I love your colors and they sound Spanish or Hispanic in their bright and colorful ways. I will sing, “La Cucaracha” and get my maracas out and join you in your festive clothes! Will you make us some guacamole? Smiles, Robin

  3. I think I will wear pink tomorrow too! That sounds like fun. I usually dress drab because I’m tromping around in the mud! Trying to capture wildlife. But when I come home before I go out again, i think I will change to something pretty. I forget to do that. I like the lady in the library! Hey maybe she could be another character in your story about Billie. I make stories up all the time. And it’s the ordinary encounters you have each day that can give you ideas for characters.

    • Thanks for this supportive ‘vote’ for color! I am so glad you are going to try pink and this is a great color with dual purposes. Here in Ohio, not sure if others are doing this, we are having our “Race for the Cure” and our tallest downtown building got a pink film placed over its lights, so it is ‘lit up Pink!’ I think I will keep my library lady in my cherished characters ‘vault’ and save her for a future book. Great ideas and now, I know you really tromp around in mud to take those stunning photographs of nature. I love the birds, Always! Smiles,Robin

  4. What an interesting post, Robin! I tend toward black and purple and sometimes khaki, and my house is where I splash the color around. Might have to think about splashing a little more color into my wardrobe!

    • Well, purple has a different color and I like khaki, too! I add peach and yellow to my khaki pants or shorts, though! Thanks, Naomi for the fun comments! It is nice to know you use color in your home decorating scheme! Smiles, Robin

  5. ‘Fifty Shades of Gray’ could have described my wardrobe (if you can call it that). So you can imagine the comments I have gotten on those occasions when I have donned my bright red Hawaiian shirt that I picked up in Barbados. You are right that it is sometimes beneficial to add a little color to our lives. Now back to my regularly scheduled program of blue jeans and a black pullover. πŸ™‚ Mike

  6. That book sounds fabulous, Robin. Yes, color. I love color. I almost feel as if I an intimate relationship with color. It’s weird. I used to do stained glass just because of the colors. However, I’ll admit I don’t feel comfortable wearing bright colored pants, etc. I feel more confident when I wear black and gray! I feel like a target when I wear bright colors. I haven’t responded yet on my bougainvillea post, but I was thinking about what you said over there before I read this post. My son used to refuse to wear anything but black or white, but he’s changed now.

    • Don’t worry about responding, we all take our time in things. I tend to go in a set routine, come here to the library, write my thoughts or pre-written ‘article’ or post, then read my comments and lastly, poor other colleagues in this blogosphere, I read your posts!! Thanks, Luanne, I can see your point about being a ‘target’ and to tell you the truth, if you were hiking or out in nature, you may literally become a target for birds to ‘poop’ on or bugs to fly at! (As if you were a big flower!) I loved your funny bougainvillea post! Especially your reference to that older movie, ‘Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House!” Great stuff there, everyone!! Smiles, Robin

  7. gosh, this was a sweet post, robin. how nice that you took the time to notice and compliment the librarian, i’m sure this is exactly what she needed. we all need a bit of color in our lives (and someone to notice it), from time to time. )

    • Today, she has a bright scarf I want to ‘steal’ or borrow! It is so sweet with birds on it! I am so happy when you comment. You say very nice things and I would say that you are even more nice, in many ways, to others, I am sure!! Oh, going home to pour a glass of wine to celebrate my 28 cents’ raise and very good report from my boss, Katrina! I will brag to you, I had 106% work efficiency rate, 99.6 % quality control rate, measures errors, and an ‘outstanding’ minus one point to improve on review! Now, we have to all hold our hands and sing, “Cum by yah,” or some kind of chant, prayer for Tracy’s school and hope it will have its school levy pass. They passed ‘pink slips’ this week in her school!

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