I complimented the librarian in the computer area today.
She has a habit of wearing blacks, browns and grays.
There have been occasionally some varying tones in her
clothing choices, with an addition of little bits of color.
Having talked to her often, observed her grading high
school papers, and knowing she is a volunteer after
teaching all day, I was thrilled to see more color in
her attire today.
The woman looked up from her work, giving me a brilliant
smile. She informed me that her husband had encouraged her
to ‘change up’ her color palette in her wardrobe. She added
this personal detail- she was working on waiting to lose a
certain amount of weight, before buying her new sized,
Spring and Summer clothes.
I mentioned to her that was an excellent reward system
she had going on! I gently suggested to just buy a few
scarves or tops, showing that she had listened to her
husband. Just in case she thought I was being too ‘pushy,’
or opinionated, I added, “It is always nice to have their
‘permission to spend money on ourselves.'”
Then, it was an even more intimate moment we shared. We
both smiled like we had shared an ‘inside joke’ or secret.
I took my seat and then, decided to let all of you out
there, men, women and young people who may be following
my blog in on the secret! Try out a different style,
new color or add patterns to your clothes…
Spice up your wardrobe!
It is fun to pass on a good idea and since some live
on a simpler, tighter budget, like myself, go on over
to your local resale shop or thrift store to rejuvenate
As a way to create conversation, my brother, Randy the
artist painted on a white linen jacket, billowing aqua,
turquoise and creamy-colored clouds for an art gallery
opening, held in California. He is one who looks quite
dapper, although his FB page is not so great, he has lost
weight and cut his hair, so he also needs to ‘change up!’
When I thought about my last years of teaching, I had
a rainbow of colors every day reflected in my clothing.
My other brother, the professor, loves it when I buy
him ‘cool’ ties. He likes school related theme ties,
along with ones that just have music, art or jazz
up his ‘look.’ Trying something new is good for all
of us, both sexes, wherever we work or go out and
about in society. It may just create a little magic
for you and your special person, or attract someone
who has not noticed you before.
At my current job, I tend to wear those dismal colors
of black, gray, brown and an occasional dark blue. This
had been my mode of operandi to prevent damage and stains
that are impossible to get out of my work clothes. It is a
dirty place; lots of times I look like ‘Pigpen’ from the
Charles Schulz comic strip, “Peanuts!”
Wouldn’t it be nice to just go ahead and wear some
colorful patterns that are more exciting looking to my
I mean, less drab… Maybe this would encourage others to
‘cross over to the sunny side of the street.’ I definitely
feel the need to get out of my rut!
I read a book recently on relationships written by Sara
Eckel. It was called, “It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons
You’re Single,” (208 pages) If you are thinking about the
current dating scene, if you have someone you know who is,
or if you just are curious about the newer way things are
going out in a different facet of society…
Check this book out! It is a funny, interesting and
enlightening guidebook for the newly single people out
there, for ones who wonder,
“Why on Earth was it so easy back when I dated the last
time? And now, it is nearly impossible!”
The author approaches the subject in a very positive
manner, where she insists it is not you being anyone
that is repelling the opposite sex away. She thinks it
is just you haven’t met the right person yet!
I have paraphrased the following section, in my own
words, with my personal ‘slant’ added:
One of the myths that she ‘de-bunks’ is for example,
1. “You are too needy.”
No. that is not why you haven’t attracted someone to you.
Another one is,
2. “You are unrealistic.”
No, if is okay to have goals, choices and favorite attributes
(and values) in mind when you are seeking to find another
person to possibly spend the rest of your life with.
This one I have heard before,
3. “You are too picky.”
This was something someone said to me recently. That
comment really ‘got under my ‘craw,’ I will tell you!
I think that having been married three times, I should
know what works, what didn’t and hopefully, once and for
all, I should make plans and lists and actually, use them!
I need to understand what are the characteristics I am
looking for and then, not ‘sway’ too much from the
outline. Nice people don’t mean they are good matches.
Not just fall for the next guy who buys me dinner!
The author’s great question addresses why have we become
a society where we assign blame for being particular and
trying to make good choices?
Here are Sara Eckel’s own words on the subject:
“We’re a nation that believes strongly in personal efficacy–
if there’s something in your life that isn’t working quite
the way you’d like, then the problem must begin and end
The myths include how we view ourselves through other’s
eyes, instead of relying on our own common sense.
Here are two more myths, to share with you.
4. “You’re too intimidating.”
5. “You should have married that guy.”
Don’t listen to the ones who tend to place the blame
on you. Make sure that you surround yourself with
supportive people who are cheering for you and wish
that you will find someone to be your partner or
close friend of the opposite sex. The important thing
to remember isn’t,
“Why are you still single?”
but “Why are near strangers so often compelled to
comment or demand answers.” I wish to add, sometimes
family members and your best friends may be part of
the naysayers. You need to develop a positive attitude
where you can deflect their comments and act like you
are doing ‘just fine’ without the negative opinions.
Hope this helps everyone in some aspect of their life.
I highly recommend this ‘no nonsense’ book and trying
out a new way of doing something. Hair style, clothing
style or the way you walk, with your confidence showing,
shoulders back and a broad smile to carry you and others
through their days.