Making Father’s Day Plans

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At work, yesterday, we were talking about fathers. We really don’t know

what kind of pressure they had, in the past. We feel men and women

have a combined amount of stress, due to financial difficulties, low

wages, high cost of living, and raising families is not a ‘easy job.’

The song that came to mind, was the “Under Pressure” one with

both David Bowie and Queen singing it. Can you believe that came

out in 1981? And we were calling it a ‘newer song!’ Later, in 1982,

the group Queen performed this solo, on their album called, “Hot

Space.”

Also, someone volunteered the ‘older’ Dolly Parton song, “9 to 5.” We

all liked that movie, which is more of a support of women but the guys

said it was the only one they could think of, agreeing with Tammy, that

we are ‘behind the times!’

Guess what? We found out this is a 1980 song, so only one year before

the other song we came up with, representing marriage and parenthood

stress. We may need a newer song to suggest you listen to, to help you

feel that we have understood the way life has become even more hectic

than when we were growing up!

They felt the lyrics expressed how we all have to pack a lot into

our days, especially those who have families. Juggling many tasks,

meetings after work, sporting and other activities that children

need parental guidance and support can all lead to crazy moments.

My good friend, Bill, calls those days when people are raising kids,

as the “hunter/gatherer” stage. I know somewhere along the way,

one of my commenters disagreed with this terminology, not sure

what alternative, they did suggest a better way to describe the

way life is in the fast zone!

Lastly, we were discussing how we didn’t understand our parents

until we got older, had children and even, sometimes wish we had

had more time to just relax and enjoy them. Knowing time is so

precious, not able to stand still and really listen and pay attention

to what their important pieces of advice are. I remember thinking

that “I knew it all,” especially since I had graduated in elementary

school education, so I already ‘knew’ what children needed and

all.

Boy, did I get a huge splash of freezing cold water, a big dose of

reality!

There are NO manuals or instructions that explain how it is to

be a parent!

This post is in honor of fathers, along with mothers, who work as

a team to raise their children, doing the best they can, as much as

possible!

I have a good friend, who shall remain nameless, who still wished

she had more time to talk to her mother. I still wish I could ask my

Dad’s advice on more things. I would like to just listen to him again.

He could go on and on, rambling, if he liked. I would relate to the

desire to have someone to pay attention to, much more now. Now

that I am alone.

When asked, “What are you doing for Father’s Day?” I received an

interesting summary of choices. I hope you will add some present

and if you wish, some past ways you celebrated Father’s Day.

Charlene hangs with us, watching, “The Bold and the Beautiful”

from 1:45 until 2:00 pm. She is on her lunch break, so during the

commercial breaks we ask her, “What did we miss during the first

fifteen minutes of this half hour soap opera, we have become rather

attached or ‘addicted to.’

She said she plans to take her four year old son, Ian, to a big box

retail store, where he usually insists on buying his Daddy a card

and a gift. I wanted her to trace his hand and make a homemade

card, she says he won’t do that! Ian is a ‘force to reckon with!’

Charlene’s husband, Chris, works here, so we like to ask about

what he will be rewarded with for ‘His Day.’ She added that she

will cook one of his favorite meals, lasagna, garlic bread and a

dinner salad. It takes a lot of time to prepare it, having learned

the ‘hard way, ‘ from Christopher’s mother, the ‘true Italian way

to prepare this dish.’

Keith, whose daughter, Ashley, spent this past year in a haphazard

thrown together home-schooling adventure turned 13 this past week.

She is staying home, making a Cool Whip ‘concoction’ with crushed

Oreo cookies for Keith’s Father’s Day. He also had been happy to

hear that she was going to clean up the kitchen, dust and vacuum.

She may take off for the swimming pool, but this work was promised

to be completed by the time he came home today (Friday). By the

way, she failed seventh grade and will be taking it over again. Many

of my ‘regular’ commenters, will remember how I worried a lot about

the way Keith was handling it, how I had to step away and basically,

wash my hands of it. (Background information available on Keith

and Ashley post. )

Tammy’s father, who has had heart surgery, knee surgery and also,

still takes a lot of medications is 83 years old. His wife is in much better

shape, Tammy’s mother is ‘on the ball.’ For Mother’s Day, Tammy and

Mike (“Fencepost Buddies” love story post) had her parents, her sisters,

brothers, nieces and nephews over for a huge potluck/picnic. It had

ended up inside, but they are crossing their fingers to have it outside.

They purchased bags of mulch and will be putting this around her

mother and father’s flower beds, plants and trees. That will be their

gift, plus hosting their large, extended family on her side.

Melvin was ready to tell us all about the great barbecue that he and

his handicapped girlfriend helped to prepare dishes and a skinless pig

roast for a paid graduation party. Their catering “earned them more

that two weeks at Advance Auto, all in nice, crisp 100 dollar bills cash!”

Melvin’s used to being a cook in the Army, also for his large family.

The family is mainly out East, which he and his girlfriend are heading

that direction so, other than cards, there may only be the “trip out East,”

as his Father’s Day gift. They will be taking from June 20th until June 28th

to travel there and back, driving. He hopes to connect to some of his old

Army buddies, but nothing like their huge reunion last year, in MA.

We were trying to persuade him to open up a restaurant or catering

business, but Melvin thinks it would be too stressful on his girlfriend.

Trevinal and his wife, who I wrote about his taking nursing classes,

to get ahead in their life together. His father used to work at Advance

Auto D.C. #23, too. He is retired and when he did, he passed on the

advice to his son, to try and find a better job. Trevinal sits at our table,

laughs at our ‘old age’ jokes and is in his thirties. (I wrote about his

being designated “Special Education” while growing up, how he is

going to Columbus State and now has a 3.5 average every semester!)

Their love story is ongoing, first a good career, children next…

They are celebrating with his mother and father by taking them to

Ryan’s Steakhouse, which is a buffet style restaurant. They have some

plans to help trim trees, mow the lawn and  his wife plans to bake a cake,

too.

My friend, Mark, whose mother lives with him, told me today that he

plans to take her to his father’s gravesite, they will plant live flowers and

also, take home the Memorial Day wreath, they had left a couple of weeks

ago. He is the one who I gave my telephone number at Thanksgiving and

we have stalled out in the dating area of our friendship. Sort of ‘back to

square one.’ I like him a lot and will hope someday it may mean more to

him, too. Meanwhile, fun to have a man to flirt with, once in awhile!

One who has a home, computer and is not homeless, like I meet at the

library! Ha ha!

I have offered tonight and tomorrow night to watch grandchildren and

have plans to give cards to my son and my oldest daughter’s man for

their special day. I have decided that “Nana sitting” is enough, so won’t

be enclosing money this year for Father’s Day!

Work equity sounded like a great way for people to help their Dad’s out,

along with saving money. It is a trend across all income levels, giving

time is always an excellent way to show you love someone!

I will be posting about the Poll I took that was on the subject of which

television show featured your favorite Dad, father figure or male role

model, tomorrow!

I was surprised at the results at break, lunch and after work, with my

coworkers choices. It may or may not amuse you! It brought back a

few good nostalgic memories.

Let me know, “What are you doing for Father’s Day?”

 

 

 

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11 responses »

  1. My father’s been gone for 11 years now, Robin, but I will think of some good times on Sunday. He and I had our ups and downs, for sure. He was only 20 when I was born (my mom was 19) and they certainly had no manual on marriage or kid-raising. My adult daughter will still be away on vacation with her boyfriend and her mother on Sunday, too. I’m sure she and I will text. That’s how I communicate with my 24-year-old the easiest these days, and so I do. I’m sure we’ll get our FD dinner the following weekend. Thanks for your post on the 9 to 5 under pressure lives we lead!

    • I was so shocked today on CBS This Morning, the word, Pressure, was included in this man’s book. I was getting ready to go meet up with a girlfriend I see only every 6 months. We have known each other for 34 years. We meet half way… Anyway, thanks for saying what you were up to tomorrow, now I know! I feel bad about young parents, it is very hard to maintain togetherness. I met my ex while 18 got married at 22, still not sure if we would have headed back home after college, if we would have stayed connected. Especially wish I had lived on m own a bit… But, all water under the bridge. I remembered your family’s story, Mark, but was glad you filled in the details. It helps me to know you were from a divorced family, made good choice in Karen and have a happy ending. I hope the same comes true for my kids! So far, my son and his wife, only one of them really has found what I consider the ‘right one!’ Take care and enjoy the rest of your weekend! Smiles and hugs for your Father’s Day, Mark!

  2. my father is gone, but i always think of him on this day. i’ll be going out to lunch and a play with my friend after i call all the sons in law to wish them happy father’s day. (and don’t forget, i posted my father’s day piece two weeks early ))))

    • I know that I have written more this year than last year’s. I liked the card, the quote, I used last year and the simple message. I just started this ball rolling on June first and it has built up momentum!
      I remembered that we both lost our dads and have strong, funny, and interesting stories of our childhood. Maybe different ones, but similar threads in common, Beth! I loved your kangaroo and FIMA soccer post about “balls!!”

  3. My father is gone 15 years now. Sometimes it still stuns me when I realize this. Other times….it’s like I’m more used to talking to him not being here. My husband and I will share memories of both of our dads. And we’ll spend time with other family celebrating dad/their dad/our dad as well. I can’t help but think of, and listen to, the song “The Old Man” (version sung by Irish Tenors) on this day. My brother gave all of us copies when dad died. And like the song says, I miss him, the Old Man.

    • I will someday have to get some ear-buds and come back to the library and listen to “The Old Man” song. I think you and your husband have good priorities, spending time with family, celebrating and sharing cherished memories of your fathers together. Wonderful comments and thank you for sharing with me, too. Have a wonderful celebration of lives that really made a difference. My Dad died in 2001, so almost as long as you to have not had him around. It is too bad… but we have more to concentrate on the positive side!

      • I’m glad I’m to a point I can think of him and it brings smiles. Not to say I don’t ever cry. But not every time I think of him. He loved a good joke and a fun prank. It would feel wrong to not laugh when thinking of him. 🙂 I hope your weekend was wonderful.

      • I am happy to see this about your father, Colleen! Having a Dad who loved a good joke and pranks, sounds fun! It was not until my Dad retired that he changed the way he was. He led a rather serious life, sometimes we enjoyed our times but not a lot of laughing came out of Dad! Suddenly, they had a cottage and an RV and there were smiles, jokes and silly stuff coming from both our parents. I could trust my father, while I grew up, to be very supportive, complimentary and he absolutely believed in all 3 kids. The fun stuff came later, so it leaves an even better impression, than the younger, more driven man. He was always a partner and did 50% around the house, but not laughing as he did it! Thanks for adding this comment to the other part of ‘our conversation!’

  4. The highlight of my Father’s Day was reading to my 2nd grade grandson via Skype the next to final chapter in the Bruce Coville book, “My Teacher Glows in the Dark.” I got to see and talk to my oldest daughter for a few minutes. My youngest daughter sent me a note via Facebook after she finished her swing shift day at work. Other than that, Father’s Day was just another day in paradise on the Costa Blanca, most of it spent reading. Thanks for another fun story from your own private sitcom. 🙂 – Mike

    • I enjoyed your recounting of your Father’s Day, Mike! I am so glad you read the next to final chapter in a fun and intriguing book to your 2nd grader grandson! I bet it was fun and funny, too! I am glad you have this connection, via Skype, with your grandson and your oldest daughter, too.
      I am sad your youngest daughter had to work a swing shift, but glad that she sent you a note via FB. I love how the Internet connects you all, into a loving and close family!
      I am wishing I were in paradise, but will enjoy a week off from work soon! In 3 more days, I will be up at my Mom’s for the weekend, in Westlake Village senior living apts. My Mom and I are going to her old cottage that my parents lived in when they retired and she had been there for over 10 years alone. My niece has been paying taxes on it, along with a little bit of rent, since it did not sell the year my Mom moved into the apt. We are going to see my niece and her future husband get married in a tent overlooking the lake on the extra property. I hope my Mom doesn’t wish she could stay there!
      Then, I will be going back from June 27 until July 5th or 6th, to stay with Mom. My summer vacation will be to help her go to 3 different Dr. appointments, but we will definitely squeeze in some fun! Hugs, Robin

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