“Pet Peeves”

Standard

How aggravating!

How annoying!

Nuisances.

If you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

I have some gripes to express. Hope you will tell me what your

main ‘beefs’ with other people are!

 

1. “Repetitive complainers.”

You give advice to help them.

You try a different piece of advice

the next time.

You feel like you are ‘spinning wheels.’

Finally, when none of the thoughtful

approaches you have given to these,

‘whiners,’ you give up.

You hope they find someone else to

listen to them:

“Just because I am nice, doesn’t mean I want

to listen to you!”

 

2. “Sloppy parkers.”

Everywhere you go, there are ones

who feel their prize possession requires

two spots. Why not add to our relief and

your longer life, by parking far out in

the boondocks? Walking is so good for you

and your ‘car is safe’ out there!

The other ones, who go hand in hand with

these special car owners, are the ones who

bump your car with their door.

“My car is ‘special’ to me, so please use your

manners!”

 

3. Potluck ‘no shows.’

When the list is passed around, they add their

choice of homemade dish or dishes. They are

sometimes able to give a very good excuse for

not following through, lack of participation.

But, there are a few who ‘slide’ into line, get

a plate and you absolutely know they could

not even bring $2 hot dog buns or $1 pop.

Everyone has one ‘free pass’ I feel at our work

potlucks, but I know of a few who have NEVER

brought something to share.

“Come on, don’t you feel a little guilty about

not bringing anything?”

 

Family potlucks are different, I like to bring

extras, to cover those who have run out of time

or are short on money. Again, it is okay to bring

crackers or fresh produce out of one’s garden. . .

“Love means not having to bring anything but

oneself.”

 

4. “Borrowers.”

I have several in my work and apt. buildings.

Sometimes, it is no big deal, a quarter for laundry,

an egg or a cup of sugar. A little something, over

and over again,  does add up, though.

I have given once a week 25 cents to someone at work,

in a month it is a dollar…

If I need to borrow, I always come back the next day

and return the money. Mainly, due to my age and

forgetfulness, I do this.

The next time I shop, returning the egg is at the top

of my list of ‘things to do,’ sometimes adding a couple

of cookies or whatever I have noted they like.

Those borrowers are~

“Nickel and diming my good nature away!”

Please give back!

 

5. “Ride Takers.”

I like to help out, I honestly do. But there is someone

who actually had me take them through the drive-thru

and did not offer to buy a pop or iced tea on a long, hot

day!

When I have sometimes chosen to slow down and roll

down the window, seeing someone I know walking, that

is my choice. But there are now 2 people who linger at

our lockers, waiting outside having a cigarette or just

standing by my car, to get their rides.

Recently I have developed a thicker skin and have said,

“I have somewhere else I have to go, after work, which is

going to take me a different direction.”

Offer something to repay kindnesses.

 

6. “People who don’t know how to whisper.”

If you ever see the Julia Louis-Dreyfus and James

Gandolfini, someone put this right into the script!

That movie, “Enough Said,” includes few of my little

‘pet peeves’ that others do, that get on my nerves.

In the movie, it is actually a date at a movie theater,

where James’ character is not able to whisper but

uses a normal talking voice. If I really liked (or loved)

someone who did this, knowing they were not able

to do the quiet voice, I would just have to watch DVD’s

and use the ‘pause’ button, often! I cannot stand it

when there are people talking loudly for more than

a minute or two, at the library. I try to not glower or

give them my ‘mother’ or ‘teacher’ stare.

Try to refrain talking, if you have been told you have

a loud whisper.

 

7. “Frequent Guests/Rare, if ever, Hosts.”

Now, I may be’ treading on thin ice’ on this subject.

I know that I tend to have people come over and I

do enjoy their company. I loved this much more

when I lived in a nice, big house!

There was a certain friend who had been to my apt. about

3-4 x monthly, which means at least 40 times in one year,

making the total of over 80 times in two years. She thinks

she is saving me from driving her direction, a few miles

away. Once she comes over, she is hard to get back out of

my place. Worse still, is sometimes when we have made plans

to go somewhere, I will try to meet her at the door. She had

started to come early, though. Then I have her sitting in my

apartment watching me put on my makeup.

I guess this sounds funny or petty. I have picked her up at her

mobile home, which I can see from my car, that she has a nice

place, pretty curtains and some landscaping. I have NEVER

been asked in, before or after our times out. I have hinted by

saying, “If you let me come over for coffee sometime, I will

have a better idea of what kind of gift I may buy for your

birthday or Christmas.”

By sitting in my apartment, I have given her a sandwich,

cookies, chips, coffee, tea, pop, a few glasses of wine and

even, accidentally her spying my Godiva bag of chocolates

on a shelf when I opened the cabinet to get something else

to give her, I have felt ‘forced’ to share my chocolates!

This is ‘horrible’ to admit, but I have started saying,

“Let’s drive separately, I will meet you at the movies (or

wherever we have determined we should go together.)”

Take turns with your friends.

 

8. “One’s Situation is Always Worse Than Yours.”

I don’t think that I dwell on my misfortunes, in fact it

is only when a circumstance resembling my own comes

out in a conversation, will I mention how I have handled

my personal challenges in life.

This example is more easily described as, “Debby Downers,”

or “My Life Sucks More Than Anything You Say Is Going On

With Yours.” My daughter calls them, “Negative Nancy’s.”

While in high school, my Mom noticed this about a good

friend of mine, she even felt that it was her place to tell this

teenager that she needed to be able to ‘rise’ above some of

her circumstances and really, try to find some kind of ‘silver

lining’ in her life. Mom also started a little bit of silly passive

aggressive behavior, I am sure it went unnoticed by my girl-

friend. When the friend would call, she always asked, “Is

Robin there?” My Mom would say, “Yes.” There would be

dead silence. My Mom would wait it out. My friend would

finally ask, “Can I talk to her?” Mom, (English and Spanish

high school teacher) would say, “I suppose.” Tick. Tick. Tick.

Finally she would say, “May I speak with Robin?”

As my Mom was generous, she would often ask this friend,

who really was sometimes annoying (even) to me, “Would you

like something to drink?” The answer, invariably was, “Yes.”

My Mom would list a few choices, if it were the weekend, they

included juice, milk, iced tea or pop. This friend seriously

would say, “I don’t care.” My Mom would sit down and not

pursue the matter again, until the next time she came over.

I did not get to the point of giving her up, until we were in our

fifties. I was so understanding of her divorces, I was so helpful

with painting designs on her walls and her granddaughter’s

dresser. I understood that she has fibromyalgia, I volunteered

to weed armpit-high weeds, cleaning her basement and her

kitchen for her son’s high school graduation party. I served

the food, having brought two side dishes and a graduation card

with enclosure of money. Even when I worked two jobs, I was

able to spend time with her, since I did feel that she had few

people who cared about her. Her own sister would not invite

her to holidays. Her father would come down and take her out

to eat and then drive back to Cleveland. (Her mother passed

away when we were adults and parents of our own children.

I attended her mother’s funeral and she attended my Dad’s.)

Then, one holiday she showed up with her son and his girlfriend

uninvited for a Thanksgiving meal. I opened the door and then

closed it partway saying, “Maybe I should check with my parents,

this is possibly my Dad’s last holiday with his grandkids.”

I kept them waiting on the front doorstep. My Mom offered to go

and tell her, “No, this is beyond rude.” My oldest daughter said

she would go to the door and say, “Sorry this isn’t a good time.”

Finally, my ex-husband went to the door and I heard him say,

“Holidays are not times to show up unexpectedly. Thanks for the

kind thoughts about my father-in-law’s cancer. (She did not say

a word about him at this time.) Happy Thanksgiving.”

(Myex’s Christian upbringing came to the forefront, for which I am

ever grateful.)

When he came back to the living room, having heard his deep voice

carried into the living room, my Dad said, “Who was that woman?

Are solicitors allowed to come on holidays?” We all chuckled and let

the funny Cracker Barrel fish sing its silly tune, which we tended to

have for his last Christmas, too. (“Take me to the river…”)

 

9. Last but not least- –

“People Who Root for the Opposition.”

Those who have lived more than 20 years in a state,

who may have been avid fans of another state’s team,

note that sometimes you may have more fun, if you

decide to ‘switch alliances.’

I have a friend who lived in Michigan for all of three

years of her life. Karen will not wear any Ohio team

shirt days, she is always there with her blue and gold.

I totally understand people who were dislodged from

their homes or who grew up for years in a location but I

will say this, my parents grew up as Cincinnati Fans.

They both attended U. of C. liked Cincy Bengals and

Cincy. Reds, too.

They moved to Cleveland, immediately purchasing

all the Cleveland gear needed to support their new

home town. I am not sure whether anyone will find

this amusing, but I think that being in Ohio Wesleyan’s

back yard, I bought an OWU shirt, black and red. I

still wear my BGSU t-shirt and zip-up orange jacket. Just

while visiting Bowling Green or up in Cleveland.

While walking around Delaware, Ohio, I enjoy supporting

the university and being a ‘townie!’

I just have to wonder, when everyone at work is wearing

scarlet and gray, why not indulge in a purchase of an OSU

t-shirt? Why not wear the blue and maize at home, in front

of your television? But I don’t think this is a big pet peeve,

after all, we have lots of fun talking about Cleveland,

since you lived there, too. WE enjoy talking about the good

old Terminal Tower, Ghoulardi, The Ghoul, Big Chuck and

Houlihan… Why not get a Cleveland Browns’ shirt or a

Cleveland Indians’ t-shirt?

“Commit to your Home Town or Home State.”

Now, that I have taken too much of your time up in my list

of ‘pet peeves,’

What’s one of your ‘beefs?”

Who gets your ‘goat?’

Who gives you ‘grief?’

Come on now…

“Let’s Dish!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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31 responses »

  1. You pretty well covered most peeves that do tend to piss people off, sloppy parkers in my case and the case of the person who is forever on your doorstep, yet reluctant to let you on theirs.
    Ian aka Emu

    • Thanks, Ian for choosing to let us in on your favorites on this list. I liked the way you described more succinctly the people who are ‘forever on your doorstep, yet reluctant to let you on theirs.’ So wonderful to have someone capture my ‘gibberish’ and dish it up in a better and more palatable way! This was great way of putting it! Those sloppy parkers get on everyone’s nerves!

    • Ugh, exactly! Thanks for joining a ‘vent session!’ I think this is such a great way to describe this and I had forgotten this label for it. “Rants” sometimes are not really exactly how I want to depict this, “Venting” is more how I feel, not out of control or upset, just exasperated!
      #8 is one that you and I with a few of my coworkers agree is most annoying.

    • I can imagine that you have been in serious situations, where there is a death, you may have given the Service, and then there may be someone who thinks they are whispering but breaks the ‘mood,’ entirely. I also think it can be funny, when a little child/tyke pipes up with something that should be whispered and all can hear it! Smiles back at you, Jen!

    • Oh, this is one that invariably is annoying to all who are grateful for their jobs! I am okay with complaining about my 10 hour days, heat and all, but when the ‘chips are down,’ I am happy that I have made it there for over 6 years. I do have in my head, a goal of 10 years total there, so only 4 more to go! Smiles! (Then I will work at a daycare, be a nanny or some kind of weekday worker. I refuse to go back to serving people in a busy restaurant, but I would not mind Monday thru Friday coffee shop or something laid back at age 62…)

    • Now Colleen, there have to be more in your head of annoying situations or people… I hope you will come back with one to add to my list. I know you were never one of ‘those people!’ Heaven’s to Betsy, Never, Ever you, Colleen!

  2. All of those would get on my nerves…but something that jumped out at me…I think sometimes in the past you’ve been “too” nice. If you let people take advantage, some of them will. It feels good to help people, but not so good when they never reciprocate. Sounds like you’re standing up for yourself now…that’s great! Wished we lived closer so I could have some chocolates! Hope your day is wonderful Robin.

    • I would definitely share my chocolates with you, Sherry! I would dance in the streets with you, too! I have seen some of your friends, they look like they are having the times of their lives in your photos! I like the same kind of music you do. We are having Phil Dirt and the Dozers and Marshall Tucker Band up here at the Delaware County fair, have you ever been to the Little Brown Jug Race? (I have been 2 times, but mainly like seeing the horses in their natural state, the 4H horses and their little stadium where they strut their stuff and our ‘million dollar barn,’ where the race horses reside…)
      I have been in marital counseling but when I worked at the Lighthouse Battered Women’s Shelter in Lancaster, Ohio, I did recognize the need to read some of the books on being confident and not a ‘door mat,’ Sherry. Thank you for this caring thought. I just like reciprocal relationships, like we all do! That was a good word to use in your comments, Sherry!

      • I cannot believe that the fair organizer or one that plans the concerts published this without a contract with Marshall Tucker band. So sorry, there was some back and forth in the newspaper, finally admitting that there wasn’t a firm contract. The Phil Dirt and the Dozers is on the final night of the fair, Sat. Sept. 20th, I believe. We may see each other one of these days, Sherry, with your traveling far and wide, I hope our paths will cross!

  3. Robin, you have hit them all!!!! The thing about the rides really gets me. All of them do really.I think you are aiming in the right direction by starting to “white lie” in order to avoid being taken advantage of!!!

    Sometimes I get creative and when someone asks me to do something I know will only lead to lots and lots of wasted energy, I just say no. Then the person is left to his/her own imagination as to why. Recently I even got an email from such a person guessing the wrong reason why I wouldn’t do something. I just let it go. Hard, but I did it.

    Good post!

    • This is a totally foreign idea to me, Hollis. Just say, “No!” My Mom taught me ‘manners’ which requires some kind of an excuse. I am trying, sometimes not, to change and be simple and direct in my approaches. Thanks for the idea of being creative and also, sharing your own personal experiences where you utilized the ‘no’ response. I am surprised that I didn’t get any other suggestions of rudeness or annoying situations here. I am content to think the list is ‘complete’ . . . for Now!

    • This is so nice of you to say this, Elizabeth. I am happy that you enjoyed this, because it may seem like I am being a downer or negative! I re-read it a couple of times, trying to decide if this is light hearted enough?! I got a little too detailed about my one friend, who I may have to edit it out to keep the whole post more ‘fun!’ Thanks for agreeing that these folks can be draining! Good word for this.

    • So glad you found some of these to be ones that bother you, too. I also think it is good that I was able to find ones you could relate to. I am always happy to see you here! Thanks, S n S!

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