Simply Funny

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Isn’t it ironic? By the time you’re old enough to know your way around- –

you’re not going anywhere or are too tired to stay up!

 

Happy people- – can enjoy the scenery, while on a detoured route.

 

Happiness comes through doors- –

ones you didn’t even know existed (or you didn’t even open).

 

Ever notice the ones who are late

and keep you waiting- –

have less worries or cares?

 

Living on Earth is expensive,

cost of living goes up every year,

But it includes a. . .

Free

Trip

Around

the

Sun

Every

Year!

 

My boyfriend and I had words. . .

I didn’t get to use Mine!

 

Every morning isΒ the dawn of aΒ new error.

 

I just got a flyer in my mailbox.

It says I can have sex at 59.

(Soon approaching this one!)

Oh goodie!

It’s not too far to walk to apt. 59,

I don’t even have to go outdoors.

I won’t even have to put my clothes on!

I can just wear my pajamas and slippers over.

 

Here’s a great idea for your voicemail.

It will take care of your ‘pesky’ friends

and family, ones who may be ‘toxic:’

 

“Hello, this is ______. I am not available

right now. Thank you for calling. I am currently

making changes in my life.

Please leave a message. If you don’t hear back

from me soon consider yourself one of my changes.”

 

Now, in addition to these happy solutions above,

for your encore presentation. . .

Stay tuned for 4 Maxine quickies!

 

1. Is it true, that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

 

2. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

 

3. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

 

4. As income tax comes around once a year did you

ever notice that you can put the two words,

“The” and “IRS”

to spell,

“THEIRS?”

 

Smiles to you and yours!

Hope you haveΒ a sunny day!

 

 

 

 

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About reocochran

I am experiencing crazy and hapless adventures in dating that may interest people over fifty. I am now approaching 62 later this year and enjoy taking photographs, incorporating stories or poetry on my blog. I have many old posts which are informative and written like essays. I have several love stories collected from family and friends. Even strangers spill their stories, since I am a grown version of the girl next door. I have been trying to live a healthy lifestyle with better food selections and active hiking and walking. I have written four children's books and illustrated them. They are not published but a battered women's shelter used one about neglect and abuse for their children's program and a 4H group used my "Kissing a Bunny is like saying a Prayer" as a coloring book. Please comment or respond so I may get a chance to know you. Sincerely, Robin

44 responses »

  1. Ha ha – I liked the one about having sex at 59. It reminded me of the line, ‘About 50% of people suffer from constipation.’ Does that mean the other half liked it? πŸ™‚

    • You are so right about the funny one, I had to adjust it to my situation, Mike! Smiles!
      As far as the other one, that is the same as the hemorrhoids ads, does it mean the other ones don’t suffer? I liked the way you put a different one in my mind…

    • Well, no one in my building is getting ‘lucky’ with me, Mark! I have a few male friends, one who splits a pizza with me, another who works with me and one who talks my ‘ear off,’ when we do laundry… Smiles! I am off to have dinner with my oldest one,so shall fall behind on my reading your posts. See you over the weekend, though!

      • Have a great dinner with your oldest one. I was just teasing because of the joke in your post, Robin, you know that. πŸ™‚ I think all of the men who get to share conversation with you in Ohio are getting lucky just by that fact alone, my friend. I bet the friend who splits pizza with you is a happy fellow. πŸ™‚

      • We are all fine and dandy, I love to be teased, just may not be the best at doing it to you. Friends can do this without explaining… Smiles to you, Mark. Enjoy your musical, entertaining and possibly golfing weekend. Definitely nice to have the wife with you full time for a couple of days, too!

      • It’s all good, Robin. I was 99.9 percent sure I hadn’t crossed the line, but had to make sure! We can tease, all right, fine lady. πŸ™‚ No golf, but the wife and I had the football game last night and will go see “Gone Girl” either today or tomorrow, and yes, that is very nice indeed. πŸ™‚

      • No problem, Mark! I just finished a little story about my youngest daughter’s first friend from a group that hung together from middle school until college age. It is interesting that she was not chosen to be a bridesmaid, instead a ‘reader’ of a passage from the last words in the movie, “Love Actually.” It really gets me teary, just thinking about her reading this. Also, nervous about the people, soccer parents, etc. that I have been divorced and only acquaintances since then. Glad to think about you and others here who accept and encourage me… You have my back, I have yours, Mark!

    • Thank you for liking so many of these! I also am appreciating Mike’s comment, too! It is fun to be happy and relaxed. I like to do this light-hearted posts so I can not worry about my ‘essay’s I tend to enjoy but work on for far too long! (Like I were still in school! Lol!)

    • So glad I could ‘make’ your morning, my dear. I owe you a visit but will have to wait until the weekend… I am off to have dinner with my daughter! Smiles and enjoy your weekend!

    • Oh my goodness! I did this when I turned fifty and had a few people I decided were not going to bother me anymore or ‘bring me down.’ I have written a few times about these people, but will not say anything about your choice. Just hope it all works out for you, my friend! Smiles!

  2. I have no patience for people who are late. I take it as an insult that your time is more valuable than mine. Of course, if they got stuck in traffic or there is an unforeseen family issue, I’ll understand. I’m always at least ten minutes early no matter where I go. If you’re constantly running late to work…LEAVE EARLIER! πŸ™‚

    • I used to be very close to the time limit or arrival time, now I am also an early arrival for most appointments and dear friends, too. As far as my family is concerned, I love them dearly, but you cannot count on my 2 brothers, my sister in law, one of my two daughters and one of my friends! Always late, we have even gone so far as to set up an earlier time, prepare the later ones but this doesn’t work either!

    • This was so kine of you, Eric to say! I like ‘changes’ in procedures, did this myself when I turned 50! Out with the ones who dragged me down, in with the ones who loved and supported me! smiles!

    • You are so right, especially about the guy in apt # 59, wish I could say he was the right one! Oh well, it was fun inventing part of this story…. laughter really does make our hearts and minds lighter, Beth! Hugs and enjoy your weekend, my friend! (Sister of another mother…)

    • Miss Amy, thank you so very much for making my words bring you smiles, which returns back to me… I am hoping some of the different ways I turned around the jokes would reach each person, with at least one! The voicemail was one that I found and changed the wording to be less mean, but still ‘to the point!!’

  3. I like this one on happiness:
    Happiness comes through doors- –
    ones you didn’t even know existed (or you didn’t even open).

    I like that it invites me to open my mind to new possibilities πŸ™‚

    • I am so glad you found something here to ‘keep’ or ‘treasure,’ Timi! It is always nice to be less worried about my post, when I give up on an essay and put some smiles on my friends faces!

    • Oh, if pressed to the limit, you might just do this, Lorna! I never thought you didn’t have guts, just probably wish to show your softer side on your voicemail, after all it may be your publisher!! Smiles!

    • I am afraid not, Dan. I won’t promote that idea, since you may later be giving me grief over that BAD decision!! Smiles and enjoy a wonderful weekend, I really liked your Chicago post, it hit home with my youngest daughter’s flight. What a disaster! Sad for the guy, just wondering if he will get any mental help along the way? Talk to you soon, off to dinner with my daughter tonight!

  4. Robin … Thanks for the Saturday morning laughs. Always needed!

    Here’s a few gems I’d like to pass along:

    1. Some days it’s not even worth chewing on the restraints.
    2. It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask the questions.
    3. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. πŸ˜‰

    • Oh, I am so glad you added these smiles for my day. I am a little nervous about today, just finished writing about a wedding I am attending, will get a chance to see some of my youngest daughter’s friends and their parents. It is the first wedding amongst this ‘gang’ of theirs. Laughing at each one helped relax my shoulders from leaning over the library computer, too!

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