Humorous Romance

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Some of my friends who are younger are amazed when I mention that up until my

Dad died, my Mom and Dad enjoyed one form of romance or another. Here’s to all

those loving, open and caring people who dance in the kitchen! Hope this inspires

you to put some spice in your life or at least bring your significant other a bouquet

of burgundy, crimson, golden and burnt sienna Autumn flowers. My Mom will be

receiving a pot of those gorgeous lavender-rose chrysanthemums, (the closest there

is in the palette of fall colors to her favorite color of pink!) One important thing I

learned from my Mamma: “Never show up on the doorstep of your friends or loved

ones without an old-fashioned hostess!”

This is especially important if you are showing up with a packed bag, dirty laundry,

and a plan to stay for an extended period of many days!  When I would come home

from college, catching a ride from the Studon ‘ride board’ for Fall, Winter or Spring

Break, I already knew which were the certain plants that  Mom liked: mums, pink

poinsettias, and  pink tulips in that order. The pretty yellow or red daffodils or  the

brilliantly gorgeous red poinsettia plants did not ‘fit in’ with the pastels in her formal

Victorian living room.

Kenny Rogers’ song about “bringing his wife flowers” was a big  ‘hit’ with Mom. The

memorable special song was called, “Buy Me a Rose,” written by Jim Funk and Erik

Hickenlooper and released in 1999. This song included valuable communication

suggestions like calling one’s partner during the day time, to make her smile and

stay in touch, simple gestures. Too often, those meaningful and thoughtful ways of

staying connected are lost, especially during the frantic paced child-rearing period

of Life. I know, from personal experience oh too well, women can become so wrapped

into their childrens’ lives they miss the signs they are losing touch with their spouses.

My parents set an example of putting priority on their interpersonal relationship

time to go out together, sometimes dressing up to be chaperone school dancees,

then stopping to have a drink out. Low cost; big rewards later.

My Dad knew’if he were in the dog house’ to bring Mom her favorite flowers of all:

pink roses. ”

The song, ” You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” (any more) pulls at my heart strings more

than the song Kenny Rogers sang. It is due to the fact that duets help  me transform

to another place and time, creating a  picture of the two people facing a crisis.  Along

with the two voices of Neil Diamond  and Barbra Streisand’s melodic and harmonious

blending made this a ‘perfect’ love song (in my mind.) This song affected many more

people than just me. Interestingly, this song had a very different beginning than I had

remembered. The collaboration of Neil Diamond with the couple, Alan and Marilyn

Bergman, were to write the music for a television comedy called, “All That Glitters.”

It was a very short snippet of a song, originally written as the opening t.v. series’ song

in 1977. (The show never caught on and took a ‘dive.’) Once it became expanded into

a full-length song in 1978, it was played frequently on the radio and became so popular

it won a Grammy Award for  “Best Song of the Year.”

 

Now, for the lighter side of this post, thanks to my Mom sending it to me this week.

(Joke taken from my Mom’s collection from her good friend and California pen pal

Joyce, otherwise known as, “Pooky.”)

 

Here are~

“Love Making Tips for Senior Citizens”

1. Wear your glasses.

This will ensure you that your partner actually in the bed and not asleep on a Lazy Boy,

in the living room. Glasses will be helpful for other reasons, like grabbing or tenderly

touching the appropriate body parts.

 

2. Set a timer for three minutes.

Just in case you accidentally doze off in the middle.

 

3. Set the mood with lighting.

Suggestion: Turn them ALL off!

Or if #5 is necessary (due to memory loss) keep a low light on your side of the bed

 

4. Make sure you put “911”on ‘speed dial’ or as one of your emergency contact numbers

on your cell phone. Before you begin. . .

 

5. Write partner’s name on your hand, in case you can’t remember it.

 

6. Use extra Poly Grip.

So your  teeth don’t end up under the bed.

 

7. Have Tylenol ready or other medications ready.

Just in case you two actually complete the act. Aches and pains, possible side effects.

 

8. Make all the noise you want.

The neighbors are probably as old as you are and hard of hearing.

 

9.  Congratulations!

Thank goodness for those endorphins and mood-enhancers.

This can be substituted for your daily regimen of a walk.

Exciting way to get your heart pumping and feel alive.

10. For all those ‘single ladies’ or ‘gentlemen,’

Dancing,

Running,

Skipping,

Hiking,

Swimming

or Dark chocolate can work, too.

 

It makes me sad there are a lot of couples who barely speak to each other.

When I  was a server while in my 40’s I would wait on tables and witness

this pattern of disconnection between lovers. Granted, I worked at Cracker

Barrel, where the busy 36/37 routes intersect with north and south 71. A

lot of my customers were tired, cranky tiravelers who also were hungry.

The way I would do my ‘part’ to brighten their day or night,  would be to

get their food or beverage order as soon as I could. Bringing their drinks,

accompanied with a platter of hot biscuits and corn bread  helped to break

the ice. Once I established rapport with them, I would fib to them.

I would say they looked like they “belonged together.”

It was such a simple statement

but it helped to improve their mood

and changed the temperature of the

atmosphere between the two of them,  too.

 

Quote for the Day:

“Blessed are those who can give graciously without remembering,

Blessed are those who can take gratefully without forgetting.”

( “The Spire” October,2014 First Presbyterian Church bulletin)

 

 

 

 

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34 responses »

  1. My parents were still completely in love with each other when they celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. That never stopped, although my dad’s Alzheimer’s took him away from my mom in their final years. But I learned from them that long-term love is possible, that love is hugely a matter of choice and behavior and being present.

    Sadly, these days we seem to live in times that consider relationships as disposable as Bic lighters.

    Flame died down? Meh. Just toss it and get another. A far cry from times when we used to refuel them and treasure them.

    • This is the perfect addition to this post, W.S.! I am so glad you saw and knew love like your parents had.
      Sometimes, unfortunately changes do happen to couples and relationships cannot be saved, It takes two people to put the work in, but mainly it has to be a good, strong combination in the first place. I think people who have known me for years, 30 like my friends, Nancy and Mike, 23 like my friends who I match made, Jenny and Dave, realiize I accepted a lot of ‘stuff,’ adapting and trying to get along, but then others who don’t know me, may wonder why I have been married 3 times. I didn’t dispose nor give up, they did or weren’t interested in becoming a unit, us against the world!
      I have not given up, you know the expression: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!” smiles!

      • I’ve seen it, but I’m not sure I’ve ever known it — not in the sense of ever having a relationship last more than a few years. Like you, I’ve just never met anyone who could both keep up and (more importantly) put up with me. Unlike you, I’ve decided that to keep trying the same thing over and over expecting different results is either stupid, crazy or just a waste of everyone’s time. I’ll just hang out on the sidelines and cheer you on. :\

      • Well put, W.S. sometimes the same results happen, but my length of times varied, 13 years was the longest and 10 with my first counting from the day I met him until we split (1974-1984) He is the only one that left me respecting him, although I could not agree with the position of being an ‘enabler’ and needing to be quiet about his alcoholism…Now, the idea of it being a disease helps me to understand, but not wish to go back and extend any time with him. And so it goes, hoping I can find someone to be in the rocking chair next to me, which I still have probably 30 years left, if I am like my Mom!
        I like the idea of your cheering me on, despite your cynicism… smiles!

    • Thank you, Pauline! I appreciate this summary of how lucky I am and glad it comes across as heart-warming.. I did not realize it was so rare until I met so many people who didn’t have this kind of home life. Sometimes I used to tell them, though, it ‘set me up’ for high expectations of my partners in life. They made it ‘look so easy,’ I cannot wait to see my Mom, she likes to go down into the Senior Living apts. public area, called The Pub. There is a big screen t.v., pool table and poker table. I have her see my blog and posts, sharing where I mentioned her stories and other things. I will show her you cute pup! She will love the hair cut story about Siddy…

      • The very important part of having them together and happily sharing I feel the ‘solid core of Love’ in my bones, never wavering in my heart about being loved. They even shared too much, including their intimate views as I got older, my Dad asked me, blurted out one time, “You do know about oral sex, don’t you?” as one of my exes was unfaithful. “Yes, Dad, and thanks for this thought!”

  2. What a lovely post, Robin! Though this is the third marriage for both mom and stepdad, it has lasted nearly 40 years, and they are both still very much love birds! There is so much to be said for longevity…. and even more about love. I LOVE the advice for geriatric love… really made me laugh! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    • So glad to have made you laugh, which I cannot fully take credit for, M.H.! I am so happy when I hear of long term relationships even after disasters. My friend, (above) W.S. points out, I may make the same mistake over and over again…I am willing to try again. After all, may have 30 or more years left in me! ha ha!
      Thanks for stopping by and making my post seem lovely, just by your presence, my dear!

  3. what a sweet and romantic post, robin ) as you know the #1 tip on your lovemaking for seniors list is most important to me, as you can tell by my blog name) and i agree about the dancing in the kitchen and touching base throughout the day and all of the other little things that help to keep the love alive

    • This was so sweet of you, Beth, making sure I knew the parts you liked, really helps me write others… I am glad when commenters (especially friends) include the pro’s and con’s.

      Yes, I did think of you after all, about the glasses, but frankly I disagree, would want my contacts and glasses put away, rather have shadowy images than graphic details!!
      Take care and hope your week starts out with a happy ‘bang!’

  4. Please thank your mother for the funny jokes, Robin. My parents have been married for 53 years and my father treats my mother as though they were just married. Of course, she treats him with great respect, but he is too cute…he loves her so. Great post, Robin!

    • Jill, I am so pleased to hear about your parents. Sounds like they show their appreciation and don’t take each other for granted. We could learn a thing or two from elderly married couples! Smiles!
      My Dad got cancer or they would be together still. They were well matched, some opposites but like the old time (movie) couples that would debate but never hurt one another. (46 years and he left that pile of letters and cards; you may have read that post.. that led to the 50th anniversary celebration held in his honor. She found them tied with a shoestring in his sock drawer, so she would know he was ‘still with her’…)

    • They were excellent for the three of us kids, along with their grandchildren. Unfortunately, Dad got cancer or they would still be having fun! He asked his doctor, while under chemo treatments, if he could have Viagra! Mom told us all this, so she wasn’t the least bit embarrassed for anyone to know this about their private life! Cindy, it inspires me to keep on looking for Mr. Right! smiles!

  5. I love your stories, Robin! Yesterday I went with 2 of my co-workers to get lunch and before us in the parking lot was a very old couple walking together, he barely so and with a cane, but they were both holding hands. It made us ooh and ahhh to no end.

    I’ve seen that type of love from afar in other people’s relationships but not experienced it myself nor with my parents. I think many couples just tolerate each other, flameless, to the end. But I enjoy seeing love last for decades.

    • Oh thank you so much, Belle, for sharing this elderly couple in the parking lot story. It really means a lot to me, to hear that it is out there, waiting, just around the corner, I hope. I don’t wish to spend the next 30 years on my own, although having grandies come by and spend the night, children who are adults inviting to cook me dinner, just are super! I am sorry you did not know this as a child, your parents were not like mine.
      Belle, hugs for saying something and I am sorry I fall far behind in reading your posts…

  6. I’m with number 3 already! 😛 to keep the fires burning takes work, invested time, consideration of your oattner, truth, trust and understanding. Mum and pop penguin still have that love. The old fashioned kind, where you don’t throw it in when the going gets tough. Lovely post and I hope that you are blessed with a long lasting love soon. 😍 xx

    • People in my high school at reuniions are surprised, they say, “Not you, Robin! You were the girl next door, the one with the ‘white picket fence’ future!” So, one day I hope I will find the right one, but I have been married 3 times, took no child support or help from government when I came to a small town where I didn’t know a soul and raised my kids from aged 1,3 and 5. The 3 and 5 year old, I allowed to be carted back and forth, but the ‘baby’ from my second marriage, nope! She was going to be my ‘gift to me!’ They are all fine and dandy, but wish they had had a mother who could ‘pick ’em!’ My college friend, Patrice, my first maid of honor, still calls and we chat, she in Mississippi and I in Ohio. She says, “Your ‘picker’ is broken, Robin!” ha ha! Not hardly!

      • Oh, Jen! I forgot the most important thing! I am so happy you have a good set of parents, Mum and Pop Penguin are always in my thoughts, especially after Mum had her arm put in a cast and memory troubles for both. Glad they have each other, which can certainly extend their lives! You and Mr. S. give me HOPE for your next 30+ years…fingers crossed!

  7. My Mom and Dad, the Parental Unit, are a true-blue love affair. As children, we always knew that and it left us with an immense feeling of security. And an excellent example of how to survive marriage in our own lives. I use “survive” somewhat tongue in cheek. Sweet post, Robin.

    • Marriage is a challenge, it is a little like warfare, especially when in the ‘trenches’ and raising children.(These are my feelings about the words, ‘surviving marriage.’ My parents said it was such a relief when they felt their ‘job’ was completed, didn’t mind our leaning on them a bit as adults, but never felt tied down. Their last 14 years from ages 55-69 were happy and carefree!)
      I am so glad that most of my commenters had happy childhoods, excellent role models and fun memories. Current parental units as couples get scarcer, as in my Dad’s case, either working with nuclear energy or his 20+ years of smoking may have given him a shorter life span. He did quit and tried not to do many dangerous things while in his fifties and sixties.

      Thanks for the words, “true-blue love affair!” I shall picture your parents this way and smile!

  8. Although I have never been big on gifts of flowers, I know that yellow roses are Florence’s favorite. She even chose them as part of the theme for our wedding. So I decided to surprise her a few years ago with a huge vase of yellow roses for Valentines Day. She placed them on the counter of the office where we worked, and everyone who came in commented on them. She always beamed when she stated, ‘My husband surprised me with them for Valentines Day.’ Needless to say, I was thought of quite highly while this bouquet was on display.

    Even though we have been a couple for only nine years, we always say the same thing when people ask how long we have been together – ‘It seems like forever!’ I guess that is because neither of us can remember what it was like before we got together any more than we can imagine not being together for another thirty years.

    I will be thinking about the next special occasion when I can surprise her again, something that is not easy to do.

    • I like that you choose different ways to surprise her, Mike! Those yellow roses were extra-nice since it meant love and marriage, memories of a wedding and celebrating Valentine’s Day, too! My Dad did those kinds of things, which really helps but back rubs, foot massages and other special way you can do for your partner, are ‘priceless’ (2 ways) in my book! I am sure saying ‘forever’ really means a lot when people say it. I do think telling people the meaning for you both is feeling connected and this means forever to you. Since I have heard that expression and it sounds like “we have been together so long, I don’t remember being alone.” So happy you have each other, Mike!

  9. What a lively post ! I liked all your tips especially wearing the glasses, setting the alarm….too hilarious 9 11 no. and love tips for single men and ladies. my parents are staying alone since we are three sisters, all married and no brother to look after them but touch wood they are so much in love, they are healthy and keep on traveling at 60+. God bless both of them.

    • I love the comment, “touch wood,” meaning with luck this will go on for a long time… Rashmi, I am so happy your parents have each other, keep on traveling past 60 years old, loving each other. There is a quaint old song, which comes to mind, “We ain’t got a barrel of money, we may be something? and funny, but we travel along, side by side…” I cannot remember the word in there for ‘something!’ but you get the gist, maybe have heard it? Smiles and hugs. God bless your parents’ lives, your husband, you and family, too.

    • Oh, thanks so much for this funny comment and lots of smiles in between the words, Colleen!
      My favorite Kenny Rogers song, which catches my heart up into my throat is, “Through the Years…” smiles!
      You know, Barb from “Silver in the Barn,” had a new compilation song, “God Only Knows” on her post, which is performed on the BBC, with all sorts of wonderful singers and musicians… I have been humming the “Beach Boys” version all this rainy day!

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