Being a Senior

Standard

There are plenty of advantages to being a senior citizen, discounted menu items

and movie tickets. I am adding some silly thoughts, thanks to John Wagner’s

creation of Maxine! Mom, my youngest brother and I watched a serious movie,

called, “Mandela: The Long Walk to Freedom” and today, my Mom and I just

watched another library DVD, “Betty and Coretta,” telling the stories of the two

women who became widows, their struggles, their speeches and impact on black

women for generations. Betty was married to Malcolm X and Coretta was married

to Martin Luther King, Jr.

What better way to ‘lighten’ our moods than opening Mom’s big envelope of funny

stories and “Maxine” clippings sent from California, Pookie. We laughed at this set

of “Yes, I’m a Senior Citizen” one-liners:

1. “I’m the life of the party…

Even if it lasts until only 8 p.m.”

 

2. “I’m very good at opening childproof caps on medications…

using a hammer.”

 

3. “I’m awake many hours before

my body allows me to get up.”

 

4. “I’m smiling all the time,

because I cannot hear a word you’r saying.”

 

5. “I’m sure everything I cannot find is

in a safe secure place…

somewhere.”

(This was one that directly applied to Mom and me,

while we searched from drawer to drawer for her

Medicare/Aetna insurance card! We found it, just in

time to leave for the ‘first doctor of the week.’)

 

6. “I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy,

and that’s just my left leg.”

 

7. “I’m beginning to realize that aging is not for cowards!”

(Maxine says, “Not for wimps.”)

 

8. “I’m having the time of my life, if I only knew which apt.

I live in!” This was a comment from an elderly woman who

was listening to the musical program here last night to my

Mom.

 

This joke made my Mom laugh but she followed it with a quick

comment, “That is kind of gross!”

 

“A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out she is taking

a nap. So he sits down in a chair in her room. He flips through a few

magazines. He munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the

table.

Eventually the aunt wakes up. Her nephew realizes he has absent-

mindedly finished up the entire bowl of nuts.

He says, “I’m so sorry, Auntie. I have eaten all your peanuts. I will

bring you some next time I come to visit.”

She replies,

“Just remember to bring me chocolate covered peanuts, as I enjoy

sucking off the chocolate. I don’t care for the peanuts part, dearie.”

 

And the last, making this an even ten funnies for this Wednesday…

“A woman meant to call a record store but dialed a private home

phone number instead.

She asked with some enthusiasm,

“Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme?’

The puzzled homeowner responded,

“Well, no, but I have a wife and eleven children.”

“Is that a record?” the woman inquired.

“I don’t think so, ” replied the man, “but it is as close as I want to get.”

 

 

Happy Hump Day and enjoy the rest of the week!

I hope

it goes

all

d

o

w

n

h

I

l

l

!

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

About reocochran

I am experiencing crazy and hapless adventures in dating that may interest people over fifty. I am now approaching 62 later this year and enjoy taking photographs, incorporating stories or poetry on my blog. I have many old posts which are informative and written like essays. I have several love stories collected from family and friends. Even strangers spill their stories, since I am a grown version of the girl next door. I have been trying to live a healthy lifestyle with better food selections and active hiking and walking. I have written four children's books and illustrated them. They are not published but a battered women's shelter used one about neglect and abuse for their children's program and a 4H group used my "Kissing a Bunny is like saying a Prayer" as a coloring book. Please comment or respond so I may get a chance to know you. Sincerely, Robin

25 responses »

    • I am grateful that my local theater has that over 55 deal, I mention it occasionally. It is a grand old theater but they paid thousands (millions?) for newly digitalized system. They call it a ‘non-profit’ theater and it has gold filigree, etc. that really makes it a real beauty of a landmark. We talk about going to the Senior Center, here in Delaware, Ohio, to the swimming pool. My friend, Jenny, says that is where someday over a game of cards, I will meet my final partner. We will see… Jill, I am so glad you told me you are approaching this ‘senior’ age, too! Smiles!

  1. Remember to use the old age thing to your advantage from time to time. This morning a phone solicitation person called my Dad and tried to sell him some contraption you put on your electric meter that was supposed to save you money. My Dad said, “I’m 90 and I won’t live long enough to let this contraption save me any money.” The caller was flustered and said, “ok, sorry to bother you.” and he hung up. My Dad will be 82 on Sunday. πŸ™‚

    Love Maxine. The older I get the more her words of wisdom really strike home.

    • Thanks, Florence for these pleasant thoughts! I agree, using our age, as we get older, is a great advantage to save money and also, to make people aware of what expectations to have in businesses, etc. We have an over 55 theater discount, a new movie, anytime of day, with a medium popcorn and medium drink all for the price of $7.50. I am so happy that you like Maxine, it is a fun comic and cannot believe it is a man who created this! He is ‘in tune’ with all of us, including the feminine perspective!

  2. Cast a wary eye on the peanuts in the senior housing, is what I say, Robin. Thank you for your Hump Day funnies. I love when your mom had to add, “but that is gross!” Best funny of them all. πŸ™‚

    • So glad that you had a bit of laughs yesterday morning, Jenny! You are always most welcome for the less serious posts! They are easier to write and I started this over the summer, when my warehouse days extended to four and five ten hour days! Someone mentioned they enjoyed them, including the articles my Mom receives and finds, too. Smiling back…

  3. Loved the jokes hun, especially 6 & 7 πŸ˜„ what age is it over there that you become a ‘Senior’? Do you get given a card which gives you discounts to restaurants, pharmacies, public transport, like we do? We have to hit the magic 60 to get ours…good gawd not many months to go for me πŸ˜’ xx

    • in our town, several places allow AARP cards which you may get at age 50, then our movie theater is over 55 discount deal, new movie, medium popcorn and drink all for $7.50 and our Senior Center allows over 55, too. Our Ohio Golden Buckeye card doesn’t come into availability until we reach 60! I am 59 in November, as I think we gave each other a pat on the back for having a young outlook and lucky to be blessed with parents, too! Smiles and thanks, Jen!

  4. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I love the smiling because I’m not hearing a word you’re saying!!!! Reminds me of my Grandfather who used to sit smiling at us all as we clamored about the living room. Years after he passed my dad told me Grandfather turned his hearing aide off when we all came in their house!!!! πŸ™‚

  5. I do enjoy the discounts I am eligible for as a senior. It used to be I had not been carded for ID to show my age for years. Now I get carded to make sure I am not too young for senior discounts.

    Here is a funny story to add to your laugh list:

    An old guy and gal were sitting on the porch swing at the old folks’ home watching the sunset. After sitting quietly for some time, the old guy turns to the woman and blurts out, ‘I’m 86 years old!’

    After a few moments, he blurts out, ‘And I bet I can guess your age, too!’

    ‘How are you going to do that?’ she asked.

    He said, ‘You give me a big kiss on the lips and I can tell you your age!’

    ‘I don’t see how that would work,’ she said.

    ‘Trust me – it works!’ he told her.

    So she shrugged like it was okay and they shared a big, long kiss. Then the man said, ‘You are 83 years old!’

    ‘Ohmigosh,’ she replied. ‘You are absolutely right! How did you figure that out?’

    He said, ‘You told me your age yesterday.’

    πŸ™‚ – Mike

    • I love this one, it is so cute, Mike! Someone tricky could do this to my Mom, since she forgets things from moment to moment. I am so blessed, tomorrow she turns 86 and she has good long ago memories, so I can search through them and add them to my book of memories, too.
      We were young looking for quite some time, then the years rolled by, now am glad to be able to use the discounts that each level gives me, AARP since I was 50, movie discounts since I was 55 and looking forward to my Golden Buckeye card at age 60 next Autumn!
      Thanks, Mike, for this wonderful funny story, like a joke, but sweeter!

    • Well, that was a clever turn of a phrase, Luanne! You are a benefit to me, when I read your posts, full of insight on writing and into your past. I appreciate this a lot, Luanne.

    • Yes, so glad you remember the days of ‘records’ so this one makes sense! I mentioned this to my youngest, age 28, and drew a blank stare! She smiled after that, since I reminded her that CD’s are ‘records’ and there are still awards for albums, too! Thanks, Timi, hope you have a great Halloween! (Treats more than tricks…)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s