Deer Hunting Story

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Sometimes we just need a reason to laugh out loud. It may not be

intellectual or like Bob Newhart’s dry sense of humor.Β  It may be a

joke or a comic imitating something or someone. It could be there

really is a monkey loose down in Tampa, Florida. The city’s police

(through 9-1-1 calls) are getting lots of phone calls about the wild

animal. This is on the internet, so it must be ‘true!’

I liked this one which my Mom’s pen pal sent to me. While I was in

the dentist’s office, my hygienist who has been a younger friend of

mine for over five years, told me her current boyfriend of four years

was out hunting for deer. Then, at work this week, Cycle Count Dept.

asked for some volunteers to help out, since half their staff were out

deer hunting. So, this story may bring smiles and is definitely timed

for Ohio’s deer hunting season.

I thought this one was rather clever and had never heard it before.

I told this to my friends at lunch, which after typing this it is easier

to remember the details. They laughed and thought it was ‘cute.’

 

“One night at a local bar, frequented by the local group of deer hunters

in walked the sheriff. The men were waiting for the opening day of Deer

Hunting Season. The sheriff was scoping out the joint for possible drunk

drivers.

 

As he waited, eventually a patron stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for

his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his own.

He got inside and rested his head on the car’s steering wheel. The deputy

knew he had his first drunk driver, among the bunch of deer hunters.

So now all he had to do was wait for him to start his engine and pull out

onto the road.

 

A few hours passed by and most of the other deer hunters had left by then.

When the patron who had been sleeping or resting, while listening to his

radio, lifted his head up. He started the car, drove out of the lot like a ‘bat

out of hell.’ The deputy followed him and put his lights on, using his loud

speaker to say,

“Get out of the car, lean against the side of it, put your hands in the air.”

He immediately skipped the Sobriety Test, he knew this deer hunter’s

alcohol was high, even if he had slept it off a bit.

He administered, the Breath-O-Lizer test and it read “O.OO.”

 

Confused, the sheriff asked the driver,

“What in the world was going on?”

The driver looked at him innocently and responded respectfully,

“Well Sir, tonight I’m the “Designated Decoy.”

(The End)

 

Picture This”

A large tree, bare of leaves, with a “Warning Sign” upon it in

the woods:

“WARNING:

“BAITING DEER IS ILLEGAL

This corn pile is intended for

SQUIRRELS,

CHIPMUNKS

AND

OTHER SUCH ANIMALS.

 

ANY DEER FOUND EATING

THIS CORN

WILL BE SHOT!”

 

Do you have any tall tales from out in the wild or have you

ever gone deer, turkey, squirrel or rabbit hunting?

That last one made me think of Elmer Fudd’s going

‘wabbit hunting,’ (Bugs Bunny).

Sending you smiles. . .

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30 responses »

  1. Ah, the Designated Decoy! An oldie, but a goodie. First time I’ve heard it associated with deer hunting, though — someone updated it for the season!

    My buddy hunts deer. He’s bummed, ’cause this year he only got one.

    • I am a past deer meat eater, since a good friend’s husband used to have us help him cut up the steaks. My son loves deer jerky. I am glad you had heard this one as a different joke, since it is always nice to know if the twist will work! Smiles!
      There are many areas of the states where they are cleaning up and killing deer, for population control. Is the season over there?

      • Yep, season is over here. (And some seasons they do have unlimited licenses in some areas for deer population control — apparently we can’t trust the local wolf population to keep their numbers down. πŸ˜€ )

  2. Long in the tooth as I am, Robin, I have never heard the DD Designated Decoy joke. It’s a good one!

    And, no, I’ve never hunted any animal. I have shot targets, though. πŸ™‚

    • I have used bows and arrows in archery classes, but never aimed at people or animals. (People was a joke, since I have ‘played cupid,’ before! ha ha!) So glad you had not heard this one, Mark… Take care and hope you are having a fantastic yet relaxing weekend, my friend!

  3. Ah, good jokes, Robin. And since one good joke deserves another, here goes:

    Two deer hunters hired a pilot to take them way back into the forest. After the hunt, the pilot returned and saw that they shot six deer. β€œThe plane won’t carry six deer, you’ll have to leave two of them,” said the pilot.
    Unwilling to leave their deer, the hunters said β€œWe got six on the plane last year.” The pilot gave in, and just five minutes after takeoff the plane crashed into the forest. Lucky to be alive, one of the hunters said, β€œAny idea where we are?” The second hunter said, β€œYeah, right about where our plane went down last year.”

    πŸ™‚ – Mike

    • Tell your Dad “hi” from me, too. I like and savor deer meat stew and particularly learned how to cut the meat into steaks. I like mine (believe it or not) medium rare. It doesn’t seem to taste ‘gamey’ and I like it cooked with onions and mushrooms. My son loves deer jerky. Take it easy, Jill!

      • Oh, my father would have loved to have you for a daughter. I could never eat the venison. Once my mom tried to trick my sister and I, saying it was steak, but we knew. πŸ™‚

    • Glad to get you bursting out into laughter, Barb! They do seem rather able to hide and get away from trouble, most of the time. They must have practice and use patience, while waiting for the deer to come by. Practice makes perfect.

  4. Thanks for the giggle! My husband is a hunter, and I went with him once. We traipsed all through the woods while I was making the most noise I could. Needless to say, I was returned to camp to keep the fire burning. πŸ™‚

    • I am smiling for your hunting excursion, I would make a poor hunter since I like to talk. I also am not very quiet, I have been known to trip over tree roots, too. I would probably be a ‘danger’ to myself and others! ha ha!

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