Laughter with Others

Standard

When my Mom gets her large package of humorous emails, she

likes me to read them aloud to her. Some of these she has already

sorted through, deciding which ‘belongs on Robin’s blog,’ while

others she has ‘censored’ or marked ‘just plain stupid.’ I read her

all the Thanksgiving funnies, throwing them into my folder to

save for 2015, while I found a few that were for men to make fun

of women and some of women to make fun of men. It made sense

for me to publish them as a whole, saying this thought:

“Can’t we (girls and boys) all just get along?”

 

This is for the Ladies’ First:

1.

“A man came home from work and found his three children outside,

still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and

20 wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife’s car was open and so was the front door to the

house. There was no sign of the dog.

When he entered their home, he found an even bigger mess.  A lamp

had been knocked over and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the family room, the t.v. was loudly blaring on the cartoon channel.

The toys and various items of clothing were strewn everywhere.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the

counter and the refrigerator door was open wide. The dog food had been

spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table and a small pile

of sand was spread by the back door.

The man of the house walked quickly through the rooms, scanning for

any signs of his wife. He climbed up the stairs to the second floor,

getting nervous, almost frantic. He stepped over toys and more piles

of clothes. . .

He was worried that she might be ill or that something serious may

have happened.

When he got outside the closed bathroom door, there was a small

amount of water. At last! Some sign or explanation!

When he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more

toys thrown over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and there

was tooth paste smeared over the floor length mirror and on the walls.

When he rushed out of the bathroom into the next bedroom, he found

his wife curled up in bed in her pajamas, reading a paperback book.

 

He looked at her bewildered and had to rein in his voice from his

impulse to yell at her,

“What happened here today?”

She looked at him and smiled,

“How was your day?”

He ignored the question and repeated his own question.

She gave him a big smile then and answered,

“You know every day when you come home from work and you ask

me ‘What in the world do you do all day?”

“Yes,” her husband answered in an incredulous voice.

She answered,

“Well, today I didn’t do it.”

 

This is for “idiot” bosses, either female or male:

2.

“People gathered for a goodbye luncheon for an old and dear

coworker who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing.’

As we were leaving the restaurant, the manager commented

cheerfully,

“This was fun. We should do this more often.”

The comment was met with stunned silence. Not another

word was spoken.

The coworkers all just looked at each other, with that ‘deer in

the headlights’ stare.

We got into our cars not knowing how to take the comment.”

 

This is for the Men, who so to speak, get the ‘last word in.’

3.

“During a recent woman’s medical examination, a British doctor

says,

“Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine.

Now, let me see the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of

trouble.”

The woman started to take down her knickers, but was stopped

by the doctor interrupting this procedure by saying,

“No, no! Just stick out your tongue!”

 

This is for all of us coffee drinkers, who could not maintain our

sanity or attention to details without it. Thanks, Maxine!

4.

“I don’t know what I’d do without my morning coffee. . .

probably Twenty-five to Life in the state penitentiary.”

 

This is for all of those who enjoy little tyke’s who say the ‘darndest

things:’

5.

“A minister was presenting the Children’s Sermon and asked the

children if they knew what the word, “resurrection” was.

Asking questions in front of the whole congregation, with only

the kids up in front,  may lead to some ‘dangerous’  or ‘sketchy’

answers, but this one really does take the cake!

Finally, after the children were restless and looking around and not

answering the minister, one boy raised his hand. He pronounced his

answer loudly and clearly:

“I don’t know what ‘resurrection’ is but I do know that if it lasts more

than four hours you are supposed to call a doctor.”

 

Laughter and tears ensued, rolling in the aisle commenced. . .

 

It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough

for the Adult Sermon to be preached.”

 

In this post I have written today, although I feel the jokes are quite

amusing,

I wish to let you know they each have a stereotype in them.

You know I believe in fairness, equality and making everyone feeling

comfortable here

on this blog. . .

I usually worry about these things, edit and make them fit everyone

and never show a lack of respect for most people. I even have had to

apologize.

Sorry, this time. . .

I am going to “Let it go.”

 

Advertisements

About reocochran

I am experiencing crazy and hapless adventures in dating that may interest people over fifty. I am now approaching 62 later this year and enjoy taking photographs, incorporating stories or poetry on my blog. I have many old posts which are informative and written like essays. I have several love stories collected from family and friends. Even strangers spill their stories, since I am a grown version of the girl next door. I have been trying to live a healthy lifestyle with better food selections and active hiking and walking. I have written four children's books and illustrated them. They are not published but a battered women's shelter used one about neglect and abuse for their children's program and a 4H group used my "Kissing a Bunny is like saying a Prayer" as a coloring book. Please comment or respond so I may get a chance to know you. Sincerely, Robin

27 responses »

    • It is okay to laugh, this is why I put these in, Mark! Thanks for letting me know which one you thought may be a touch ‘naughty’ but you couldn’t resist laughing with! Smiles back at you!

    • I am so glad you are laughing, since that is what everyone does when they stop by your place, Shelley.
      Honey you always make me laugh out loud, sometimes snorting pop, coffee or just noise (and snot!)

    • Glad Florence didn’t tell you she had heard all of my jokes before, Mike! I am particularly enjoying the honest admissions I am receiving on the set of jokes. More who like the slightly ‘naughty’ ones more than the cute ones. … I will keep this in mind, Mike! Smiles back at you!

    • Jenny, so glad you mentioned liking this one. In my younger days, I remember wishing I could just let the whole place go to ‘heck in a handbasket,’ just to let my husband ‘know’ or ‘realize’ what I went through on a daily basis!

      And, guess what? I stayed home and babysat children, this too was put in a slightly derisive voice and expressed to another man at a party, “My wife stays home and is ‘just a babysitter.'”
      (Good thing I didn’t want to get arrested for hitting him over the head!)

      I think the way it went was funny in this, but maybe a little bit too realistic to get laughs! ha ha!

    • I appreciated your extra time today to visit, knowing you are about to ‘unplug.’ I am actually smiling since I considered it a treat to see you here today, Jill!
      Hope you have a fantastic and memorable Christmas, along with a special New Year’s Eve, too. Wish I could sit beside you and look at your family photo albums… smiles!

    • I am smiling at this, Barb, since I had hoped using my 86 year old Mother as a ‘thermometer’ of appropriate behavior would work out! She used to say that dirty jokes are all in the way they are told, if they can be told with a sense of humor and not too explicit, she will laugh with the best of us! (She is particularly not fond of swearing, she would not hang out with sailors! ha ha!)
      Hugs for always seeing the ‘best’ in my posts, making me the bumblebee with very funny flowers today!

    • You must have a great sense of humor to get these jokes, since they are not always easily understood or appreciated. I am glad and happy that you were rolling around laughing! I am also laughing at which ones made you smile. I like to leave my readers either more knowledgeable, more content, happier or angry at the world gone mad…
      This was a balance from all the sadness out there, Rashmi. I cannot always be serious, you know? I love your posts which fill me with smiles and travels on distant paths. Thank you, S n S, for your sweet comments!

    • Thanks, Jo! I appreciated your wishes, glad to find them upon my arrival back to the blog… Hope you had a wonderful and Merry Christmas and also, the coming year will be filled with fun and laughter, along with good health. I find myself saying this more and more, as we get older health is such a valuable gift. Thanks also for the wishes for my “Mum!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s