Word Play Chuckles

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Using a post combining aphorisms, puns and some humor I always

hope to send readers a good time. Word play is a way I enjoy others

who utilize unique ways to get your mind to travel. Sometimes, you

have to think a bit before you ‘get it.’ Other times, they are so corny,

you may groan. . .

 

The Family Tree

of

Vincent Van Gogh

(Note:  His members included a few ‘stereotypes’ which I left out.)

 

His hardworking Brother at the convenience store known as “Stop N Gogh.”

His dizzy and kooky Aunt known as “Verti- Gogh.”

His magician Uncle otherwise known as “Where Diddy Gogh.”

His Nephew who drove a stage coach out West was named, “Wells Far Gogh.”

His bird watching Cousin who went by the name of, “Fla Min Gogh.”

The beautiful, exotic Aunt was named, “Tang Gogh.”

The little girl Cousin who liked to eat fruit known as “Mang Gogh.”

The positive Teacher and Aunt was nicknamed, “Way to Gogh.”

The Grandfather from the Old World country, “Hugh Gogh.”

The little bouncy Nephew named Poe Gogh.

(This depended on whether or not you have heard of Pogo sticks?)

The lively Sister who loves disco and dancing- Go Gogh.

And Vince’s Niece whose family travels in an R.V.- “Winnie Bay Gogh.”

 

I saw you smiling over there, almost snorting your coffee:

“There Ya, Gogh!”

 

Maxine gives you this Intermission Thought:

“Take every birthday with a grain of salt. . .

This works much better if the salt accompanies a

Margarita!”

(Thanks, John Wagner!)

 

“No Pun Intended”

Ten “Punography” Entries

(I could have had twenty!)

1. What does a clock do when it is hungry?   It goes back 4 seconds.

 

2. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  Thesaurus.

 

3. Plans for the class trip to the Coca Cola factory:  I hope there won’t be

a Pop Quiz!

 

4. Broken pencils are. . .   pointless.

 

5. Old school Bible pun. . . How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

 

6. I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.

 

7. When chemists die, they barium.

 

8. This woman said she recognized me from the club for vegetarians.

But I’d never met herbivore.

 

9. I was in a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

 

10. The hospital told me I had Type A. . . . It was a Type O.

 

Now, drum roll please: An encore Pun!

“A dyslexic man walked into a bra.”

 

You may wonder what an aphorism is:

A short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever observation or

a general truth. I used to love George Carlin’s aphorisms. Here are a few

to hold you over until you can read G.C.’s brand or style of humor.

1. The nicest thing about the future is. . . that it starts tomorrow.

 

2. Money will buy a fine dog,  only kindness will make him wag his tail.

 

3. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense

at all.

 

4. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

 

And the old standby, often expressed aphorism:

5. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark

to become a teen who wants to stay out all night?

 

And as Bugs Bunny would say with a stutter and a big smile…

“That’s All, Folks!”

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About reocochran

I am experiencing crazy and hapless adventures in dating that may interest people over fifty. I am now approaching 62 later this year and enjoy taking photographs, incorporating stories or poetry on my blog. I have many old posts which are informative and written like essays. I have several love stories collected from family and friends. Even strangers spill their stories, since I am a grown version of the girl next door. I have been trying to live a healthy lifestyle with better food selections and active hiking and walking. I have written four children's books and illustrated them. They are not published but a battered women's shelter used one about neglect and abuse for their children's program and a 4H group used my "Kissing a Bunny is like saying a Prayer" as a coloring book. Please comment or respond so I may get a chance to know you. Sincerely, Robin

43 responses »

    • You are most welcome, Anneli! I appreciate that someone enjoyed some of these… Hope you have fun celebrating the new year in. Do you have a special custom? We beat pots and pans, opening the back door to let the old year out, while greeting the new year by having the door open. We place a piece of ‘real’ silverware under the doormat, sometimes adding a real silver dime and hoping for a ‘prosperous new year.’ (We leave it out overnight for ‘luck!’) Oh, and we like to have a little sauerkraut with our smoked sausages cooked in a crock pot. A pinch for those who do not like it, but I enjoy the flavor so I pile a bit on my plate… smiles and hope you enjoy the entire new year of 2015.

    • Thank you, Jill, for that vote of confidence! I am a little bit silly around friends and family, but definitely not that confident to do stand-up! Glad to bring you some cheer and hope you will continue to have a special week, including greeting the new year. Do you have a family tradition? We used to make a lot of noise, (sometimes store-bought noisemakers) but most of the time, wooden spoon beating on pots and pans, to ‘scare’ the old year out of the back door of the house, then opening and greeting the brand new year in the front door. We also would place silver under the mat, sometimes one for each member of the family, (it could be a silver dime, too.) Of course, hoping for a ‘prosperous’ new year. Also, the old fashioned meal of sauerkraut and smoked sausages made in a crock pot, we made sure to put a heaping tablespoon of brown sugar in and those caraway seeds in, too. If you have time, let me know if you have any special customs, Jill… smiles!

    • I love this one, I have not heard this one, it is so perfect to add, too! Thanks W.S. and Barb, for liking it!
      Smitty, do you have any special New Year’s traditions you don’t mind dredging up and sharing? I was just wondering… I put my own on a few people’s replies…
      Scaring the old year out, with either homemade noisemakers, store bought ones or wooden spoons and pots and pans. I will have my 4 grandies, my son and his wife’s combined ‘crew.’ We also place ‘silver’ either in silverware or if I have a few dimes that don’t have the copper in the middle, under the welcome mat, letting the New Year know we wish for a prosperous one. Oh, either my German Grandma or my Cleveland heritage include smoked sausages and sauerkraut in a crock pot for ‘Good Luck.’ I know some of my friends make a pork roast or chops… I enjoy seeing the ball drop and hugging or kissing my little ones (who are definitely the best at being excited…!)
      Hope you have a ‘rocking’ new year, W.S.!

      • Generally speaking, from a “party guy” point of view, New Year’s Eve is considered “amateur night” and a good night to stay home and off the roads.

        But in younger days it was just a good reason to have a party. No special traditions to speak of, although we often did light off a lot of (illegal) fireworks. Naturally I do not endorse this practice and can neither confirm nor deny my involvement in any such.

        A bottle of good champagne does seem called for, though. 😀

      • I am so glad you mentioned ‘amateur night’ and its meaning, W.S. I guess it is best to stay in, which I usually do these days, accompanied by my own ‘set of party goers’ who like to shake it up a bit, in a childish way. (grandkids, ha ha!)
        I did go out to watch the amazing Sugar Bowl with my youngest daughter to a party under a bar called Zeno’s. We had a wonderful time seeing OSU beat Alabama, just barely… what a contest and how it went back and forth. We headed home to her apt. and we had a toast to a belated new year, too.
        We used wine and not champagne. Glad to know you did not confirm any or all fireworks displays. I called my Mom on New Year’s Eve and she enjoyed hearing the kids yelling and making their noisy pots and pans scaring noises… take care and have a great year.
        Hey, did you know in the second ‘Back to the Future’ movie, they refer to 2015? I found this out last night when one couple told me they watched it to celebrate the new year. I am at the library and both copies are out, so the rumor has already spread into Delaware so I must put a ‘hold’ on it, study the references, too. Hugs, Robin

    • This was borrowed from a larger collection of Van Gogh relatives, I left off most of the ones that were inappropriate… Glad to present some ‘cute’ into your day and getting you to smile, too. Luanne, if you have a special family custom for New Year’s and have time to write it here, let us know…
      I have been reciting our family traditions, my Dad got excited for us to carry them out. They are really fun so I have passed them on to my own children and will have ‘the bulk’ of the grandies at my house/apartment on New Year’s Eve. They like the noise making to scare the old year out and letting the new year in, with doors open and a welcome mat with silver to hope for a ‘prosperous’ new year. Lastly, we always had smoked sausages with sauerkraut cooked in a crock pot, with a big heaping tablespoon of brown sugar and a dash of caraway seeds to kind of mellow the taste and my Mom said to lessen the ‘stink!’ I think one year we got creative and made our own noisemakers with saved toilet paper rolls and some beads and little jingle bells put into them. Also, I do remember my Dad choosing to get newspaper and making hats, kind of like large origami, then gave us crayons to color them. It would work best with color Sunday comics…
      Hope you have a fun new year’s and if your kids are around, have them wear hats and make noise… ha ha! (They will enjoy it, even as they protest…)

    • Oh, Barb! This would be a great book to read, sorry I have not got it on my pile at home…. will have to keep it in mind.
      I am laughing a bit, Barb, that you brought the fact the distant cousins and family members were not mentioned… not even poor Winnie Bay Gogh?!
      I liked the ‘bra’ joke, but like you found W.S.’s addition even better! I will have to remember this for a couple of my agnostic/atheist friends!
      You are one I may not have bothered to ask on my last post, do you have any New Year’s special traditions? We repeat a lot of rituals, which include making noise to scare the old year out, greeting the new year with a welcome mat with some ‘lumps’ of silver under it. (I use knives since less likely to trip over them, along with any dimes that don’t have the copper in them, one for each of the kids that are over, along with adults, too. We usually wear store bought hats and use pots and pans with wooden spoons to raise a clatter. Also, we have in the the creative years, made our own noise makers, decorating toilet paper or paper towel rolls filled with beads and little jingle bells. If you wish to make snappers, you can use these wrapped with pretty paper, inserting confetti in them and twisting the paper at both ends…
      My Dad used to make big paper hats out of newspaper, sometimes they were ‘admirals’ and others were more circular like top hats, we would color them. I think daring people could ‘paint’ them… We would have smoked sausages and sauerkraut, although there were a few times my ex-in-laws served pork roast with the kraut. I like to use a big tablespoon of brown sugar and caraway seeds, too.
      Barb, I promise to look back and if you already shared some, won’t pull your arm or twist it again! Hope you have an excellent celebration and oodles of fun, maybe share a picture or two?
      Hugs, Robin

    • Mark- har de har har! ha ha ha! You got me! I had to think a second about that ‘ear’ line, since I knew you were pulling my leg somehow, then, of course it hit me! Such a clever and witty man!
      Wonder if anyone else noticed?
      This was a good use of Van Gogh humor! Thanks so much!
      Do you and Karen have any family rituals or traditions, in the way of particular foods for new year’s or making a racket? I have written the noisemaking tradition of scaring out the new year and welcoming the ‘prosperous’ new year by putting silver under the welcome doormat… Also, we have smoked sausages with sauerkraut in a crock pot to eat, although pork chops or roast have also been other’s traditions… just wondering…

  1. Robin … I love your jokes – puns and all. Before I share a few with you, I’d like to thank you for being one of the top five commenters to my blog – that’s according to WordPress’ 2014 Report. I do appreciate your support.

    Now: 1) Visualize Whirled Peas.
    2) Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
    3) What happens when frogs park illegally? (They get toad.)

    • Judy, thanks so much for this honor and that you noticed my comments being fairly consistent. I worry when I fall behind in my reading, due to limits at the library, but you just reassured me, I must be making some kind of progress. I bet Mark is your number one fan and commenter, he’s a great one for so many blogs….
      The reason why I visit and respond is because I enjoy your perspective and thoughts. The post with your daughters loving theater warmed my heart, Judy. My oldest one would fit right in with the creativity and artistry of your clan… Hoping I am still ‘with you’ on this one, so sorry ‘I got lost’ in one of my post’s comments about your writing… dropping that senior moment and moving on….
      As far as your contribution… thanks, Judy:
      I would love to have the first one come true. It is serious (and funny if just literally seeing the green pea soup), too!
      The second one is so clever, wish I were a science teacher and could use it…
      Lastly, great question with punny answer!

      • Glad you enjoyed the puns. I’ve had my own senior moments when commenting and wish that WordPress would allow us the luxury of correcting any errors. That would have helped save face on an occasion or two.

        I also have enjoyed reading your posts for many of the same reasons. 😉

      • I usually go back and edit the comments or myself, letting the person I goofed up with, know so they won’t wonder why I did this….
        Thanks for the senior moments ‘excuse’ and accepting my apology, Judy! Smiles!

    • Sometimes, corny jokes or puns ‘can do it for me,’ even as I am groaning at my response! Glad to hear I ‘got you,’ Jen! We need to laugh out loud, sometimes or every day if possible. I sometimes laugh at your penguins, one who may ‘pout’ or be a little out of sorts if she doesn’t get her Bailey’s gift returned when stolen and the other, who enjoys his crosswords… and needs a special set of silverware but refuses to use it!! Glad you Christmas celebration was a happy one, with the girls being happy, too. Did I mention that my oldest tried to ‘fake strangle’ the youngest daughter, due to her flippant remarks? I got one photo of it, then my 6 year old Micah popped over to get into what he thought was a group hug! This photo will have to go on my fridge, since my two girls can be like Day and Night, in their viewpoints on things! We all watched Ben Stiller and a funny movie, “The Life of Walter Mitty.” I used to love James Thurber and told them there was an older t.v. series called, “My World and Welcome to It,” with someone named William Windom as the star… Probably not shown over on your side of the Pond, my dear… but they both hooted and laughed at my old memories, which “United” them (daughters vs. Mom) My son is a good one, he is sometimes over-sensitive but always has my ‘back.’ His wife is in with my oldest daughter, from time to time….
      I rambled and did a one on one chat with you, Jen. Hope you have a wonderful new year and give your Mr.S a big smooch on the lips at Midnight!

      • Smiled at the group hug..best things to do I guess! Yep my girls are day and night too…fun at times…not. I shall give him a big smooch if we are still awake! I am having two girlfriends over as they don’t have partners to share the New Year in on. 😞 so if we all make it, it will be a miracle. 😛😛 xxxx

      • I barely made it but was a little dismayed my kids chose to text me past one o’clock in the morning, even when I made a point to say the grandies were asleep and I was heading this way, too. My ‘mum’ enjoyed her Happy New Year’s call with the little ones raising a ruckus to scare off the old year! we shall be in touch, I will check out your post to hear about your post celebration.
        So like you, Jen, to include a few ‘strays’ who didn’t have dates…. such a sweetheart! xo

    • Dear Beth, we have many ways we are like two peas in a pod! This is one of them… smiles and enjoy your new year! do you have any special customs or traditions? If you already shared them, I shall see them here, another post or over there at yours… Happy New Year and wish the song, which was playing as I left work, “It’s Raining Men,…” were true! ha ha!

      • we are, robin. i’m mostly a quiet night kind of new year’s person. dinner and movie in our out or a sleepover with the grandies )

    • Amy, you deserve plenty of smiles, from all the ones you share with us, you are the best at using ‘hugs’ and ‘love’ in your comments. Your poetry is beautiful and brings me smiles and many beautiful moments.
      Do you have any special things you do for New Year’s Eve? Hope it is a wonderful one and you have a blessed, healthy and happy 2015.

      • Robin, I am usually sound asleep by the time midnight rolls around. I do what I LOVE on New Years Eve, as with any other given day. Thank you SO much for what you said about my work and my comments, because I really do try to spread Love to all those I come in contact with. I hope your New Years Eve is a good one, whatever you do. Happy New Year, my friend!!! Let us both create magic this coming year! Love, Amy

      • I like the idea you mentioned of ‘creating magic,’ Amy! We can also continue to be friends and spread the love around, too! Thanks for this wonderful comment! Hugs, Robin

  2. I love these Robin! It took me a while to fall in with the Van Gogh ones until I remembered the American pronunciation of Gogh! My favorite however is the way Moses makes tea. Brilliant!

    • Jenny, so glad to have you aboard the Van Gogh ‘bus’ or ‘trolley’ of relatives puns. I am also intrigued, how do the Brits say Van Gogh?
      I am glad the Moses ‘joke’ did not fall on deaf ears! Speaking of ears, did you see Mark B’s comment about lending his ear to listen to the puns? It took me a minute to remember WHY he was lending me an ear during the Van Gogh puns! ha ha!

  3. I love your jokes, and I am pleased your followers’ comments are adding jokes of their own. A few of them beat me to the punchline with jokes I would have offered, like the insomniac dyslexics. You almost got me to snort coffee out my nose with the puns – in particular the ones that made me think “I wish I had said that.”

    My favorites are the aphorisms. George Carlin was a genius at contorting our language to make it funny. I found a couple to share with you:

    – The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it is still on my list.

    – Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    And since so many people make resolutions to lose weight in the New Year (including me), here’s one more: Some people are afraid of heights. Not me – I afraid of widths.

    Happy New Year and cheers to you for sharing this fun stuff. – Mike

    • I loved the two George Carlin puns and am so glad you found his genius to share with us! They were perfect additions, Mike!
      I also enjoyed the fact coffee was getting snorted out from your nose due to my silly humorous post. It could have fallen ‘flat on its face,’ really!
      Anyway, glad you also added one for the new year, too! Being afraid of widths is an excellent example of your witty sense of humor, Mike!
      Happy New Year, belatedly and wishing a wonderful year ahead with more friendship and connections.

      • Thank you for your friendship Robin, no I try to balance everything out, life is not just about work. I notice you do not appear on my reader, and other bloggers too will check that with wordpress.

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