Upcoming Movie Based on Book, “Fifty Shades of Grey”

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As my good friend, Bill and I were walking out of the movie we saw

together on First Friday in January, he turned to ask me what was the

big deal about the new movie, “Fifty Shades of Grey?” I told him that

my youngest daughter and her friends got very excited about the book,

passing it around like it was a ‘chocolate bar’ or something that could

not be put down when it first came out. I told him I had written a post

back in 2013. They finally found a cast in late 2013 or early 2014, the

movie is going to be released so couples can go see it together for

Valentine’s Day, 2015.

 

I will re-blog the post I wrote about the book since I have read the first

one. It may or may not persuade you to go see the movie. I have already,

not too long ago, written a post which stood up and said, “I didn’t like

the movie, ‘Gone Girl.'” I hate to put my neck out once again about a

film based on a book. I just will hope you ‘hear me out,’ on the subject!

 

There is a big hoopla going on about the book, “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

I am sure  you have heard there are shocking love or sexual scenes in it.

You can imagine, if you have not read the book, it has lots of  juicy and

intimate details. I am glad that the female author (a single mother with a

family to support) who wrote it will be able to help her family survive for

quite awhile on the (3) books’ proceeds.

 

Now, with a movie on its way to be released, the topic needed to be

opened, just like a can of worms. You know I don’t hide from fear or

controversy.

 

When I heard that it was a trilogy, I was flabbergasted. I guess I cannot

imagine it being that great of a subject matter. A boss who uses control

of the young woman underneath him, both at work and in the bedroom,

just doesn’t sound like my ‘cup of tea.’

 

What makes me write about this is the fact that it is intermingling two

diverse subjects: sexual pleasure (lovemaking) and control. There is

a breathy element of naughty mixed with the possibility of danger in

the books. I am not one who likes to give up my own right to express

myself and handing over power to an authority figure, as in the case

of Mr. Grey, I cannot imagine Human Resources being too happy with

this situation either. I only got through one of the books; just barely.

 

I have a few thoughts about the first book. Sorry, I did not wish to read

the other ones, but I can base this on the first one. . .

 

I have seen a few good movies which cover the same subject matter and

topic. Both Nicholas Cage and Clint Eastwood played characters who

explored the “under belly of the city.” They investigated the sleazy world

of pornography, sex trade of prostitutes and the subject of asphyxiation

to create a “high.”

 

All of this is by no means “NEW.” I do remember Cage’s film was

called, “8 mm.”

Clint Eastwood was in two movies on the subject, “Play Misty for Me”

and the more risqué one, “Tightrope.”

 

The movie, “8 mm.” refers to the film size not the male organ’s size.

(Trying to get you to laugh!)

 

There is a sad and also violent more current movie entitled, “Blue

Valentine.” In it the couple is played by Michelle Williams and Ryan

Gosling. I also have seen, “In the Cut” with Mark Ruffalo. There are

mainstream movies that have the enticement of the naughty and kinky

parts of relationships.

When salacious details are told in the context of a mystery, intrigue or

relationship analysis, it can be worth watching.

 

Maybe that is what people are figuring why “Fifty Shades of Grey” is

worth reading. How the romance and relationship are enhanced by

interesting use of role playing captive and captor.

 

Props to play games in the bedroom such as scarves or neckties can

be fun, as well as handcuffs. The quality of the book is more of the

issue, along with the way some of the readers have become rabid,

almost in their fascination and conversations.

 

Every summer I have chosen what I consider ‘beach reads,’ books

that have romance or some playfulness in the plot. For mysteries,

Janet Evanovich, (I have read up to her #19th book, which includes

the two men in the main character of the book’s life.) I also read Nora

Roberts and other romance novelists, who have manly or masculine

‘heroes’ and feminine, but independent, heroines. I like the use of

both characters having the quality of strength, along with a sensitive

nature or side for both sexes coming into play.

 

I am abhorrent of the idea of mixing violence, or even roughness,

with sex.

You may call me a little old fashioned but no one I know would call

me a “prude” or “prurient” in nature.

 

I have a lot of enjoyable and fun memories of the days of trying all

kinds of positions, sex toys, and lubricants. I still have many styles of

lingerie; some of which added a lot of excitement on three honeymoons.

 

Working as a child advocate at a battered women’s shelter put a major

damper on some of my thinking about whips, chains and being tied

up.  The act of choking someone to get them to be on the edge of an

orgasm is not something you would consider seriously once you met

and witnessed a few women who had the ligature marks from the hands

that had surrounded their necks.

 

The bruising on “CSI” television shows or “Law and Order, Special

Victim’s Unit,” pales in comparison to the actual and real sight of this.

I have  met and heard the most horrendous stories of women who had

started the evening while making love with their significant other, only

to have it “go way wrong.”

 

This would include the woman whose husband wanted her to wear her

cowboy boots and a cowgirl vest while he wore his steel toed boots.

Warning! Below reading this, consider if it will upset you too much.

 

If you don’t want to hear this, stop and skip this part. It is violent.

The cowboy used his steel toed boot where it did not belong. It was

not her idea of excitement and the surgery needed to repair this,

along with her lifelong residual pain, is horrendous.

 

The emergency room staff called me, since I was “on call” to pick her

up. Usually I was packing my children in a car to pick up someone

with or without their child/children at the police station. This is

because a police car would reveal the confidential location of the

shelter if it were to be the transporter.

 

Another instance, was a man who thought while his wife was

suspended by a rope low enough to enter her, that would make her

have a great time and it would help get his rocks off, too. It ended

up another emergency room disaster. The nurse was required to

call the police, who then pressed charges on the man since it

turned out, the wife had not been consensual but actually had

been coerced into this bizarre sexual situation.

 

The hospital does not take kindly to these acts and will press charges

if they are involved, even if the woman doesn’t want to press charges.

That is the law and they have made a commitment to report any abuse

or suspicion of abuse.

 

Even if both parties are agreed at the beginning, most of the time,

the women who get hurt, admit they were asking the male participant

to “Stop.”

 

Sometimes, of course, it is an accidental situation but for the most

part, the woman have been dosed with a certain “date rape” drug or

over-indulged with alcohol.

In those cases, the police do step in. The man is accused of taking

advantage of the situation.

 

I hope all those enjoying the book series will continue to do so.

I just had to put my 2 cents in.

 

I have to say, “NO THANKS,” when it comes to participating in

games where there are dominant and submissive roles.

 

Not that anyone is asking for me to actively participate

in such sexual escapades. . .

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About reocochran

I am experiencing crazy and hapless adventures in dating that may interest people over fifty. I am now approaching 62 later this year and enjoy taking photographs, incorporating stories or poetry on my blog. I have many old posts which are informative and written like essays. I have several love stories collected from family and friends. Even strangers spill their stories, since I am a grown version of the girl next door. I have been trying to live a healthy lifestyle with better food selections and active hiking and walking. I have written four children's books and illustrated them. They are not published but a battered women's shelter used one about neglect and abuse for their children's program and a 4H group used my "Kissing a Bunny is like saying a Prayer" as a coloring book. Please comment or respond so I may get a chance to know you. Sincerely, Robin

27 responses »

    • So sorry Becca, but it was to make a point with true examples from my experience. I agree that people need to be more caring of each other and yes, it was a difficult time for me, I think it was best that I stopped working there once it came too close to home. Thanks for your comments, always!

    • Just rewrote the section about the boot so that it is PG 13 version. I did not mean to offend anyone, and appreciate you and film camera 99’s opinion. I will keep this in mind whenever I refer to my battered women’s shelter stories. I worked with over 90 women and had 150 separate children as a Child Advocate, in only 18 months there. I did quit when the situations came too close to home. Mentioned in an earlier post. Thanks, Becca for your honesty! hugs, Robin

      • You didn’t offend me, but as an abused child I tend to avoid reading anything that would bring that back. You have done wonderful work 🙂

      • Thanks, Rebecca! I would worry about this if you didn’t say something. I really would not want to bother or offend you. Hugs, Robin

  1. I thought it was bad when I heard EMTs tell stories of arriving on scenes where couples tried to get randy in the front seat of their car and after crashing the gearshift ended up in an unfortunate place. It’s not a fine line, it’s a gaping gulf between “playing a little rough” and the kind of extreme sadistic acts you describe here. You wish it could be the men who would be left with physical reminders that would never go away.

    On a lighter note, Becca and I, between one another, once wrote all anyone needs to know about that book. My “review” is here, and it links to hers: http://jmoquinn.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/fifty-what-what/

    • Thank you since it is 5:30 am I will have to be off to work (hi ho, hi ho!) anyway, TGIF! I think I just wanted to say that things can get out of hand and somehow the idea of romance for me is all sweet, flowery and tender…

  2. although we men are always game for something a little, shall we say, racier when it comes to bedroom antics etc, that post describing the cowboy boot thing is way out for me…..sex is not something that should hurt someone…and to bring that sort of gratuitous violence, for tats what it is, is out of the question.
    like rebecca above who answered this post, i too stopped reading it….
    just shows what depraved people there are on this planet…..:(

    • Working at the battered womens’ shelter ruined the racier ideas and anything off beat will not be in my repertoire! Thank you for the comments. Did you see your nomination on the Award post where I call it an wonderful surprise and honor? You are on my favorite best times reading blogs…your photos and thoughts are interesting and unique.

      • well, thank you kindly, madam!
        i always try and include articles that may interest as wide a range of readers as possible…not only to do with photography!
        ive just had a quick read of that post where youve kindly mentioned my blog.
        and as you quite rightly say, when people do give you an award, it takes kinda ages to meet all the rules they entail!
        mighty kind of you to nominate me anyways…hope you have a peaceful and relaxed weekend…for what its worth!

      • Thanks and I may edit out the details that may be too disturbing on this post! That would maybe help it to be more able to reach out more. For this award you just nominate the ones you like to read or see. But no problem, I tend to make my receiving an award a post and then move on!

      • I changed this to PG 13 by not going into the boot episode, letting the reader’s imagination stop or read what they might think happen. Thanks to you and Becca!

  3. Some things just don’t interest me. I never understood the whoopla over 50 shades. But then I didn’t know what it was about and now that I do…I’m staying 50 feet away.

    Thanks for the warning.

    • That is a good choice, Jules! I have to admit that most readers would be just curious but I am still appalled at the mixing violence with lovemaking. I will now go to look at some peaceful, intriguing and wonderful poetry by you! That is always nice to relax by at the end of a day! hugs to you!

  4. There is a huge difference between true violence and “rough” or kinky sex. I don’t think it’s fair to conflate the two. Unwanted violence is never acceptable. But what consenting adults do is their business.

    I would not gauge human sexuality by those movies. They focus on the most lurid, most “interesting” tales. Millions of people enjoy a sex life that is quite different from what you or I might find “acceptable”. The important thing is not to confuse, for example, a little bondage between consenting partners with violent acts. They are two completely different things.

    • I agree, W.S., two consensual adults can find enjoyment while playing games in the bedroom.

      I just mentioned why control games don’t have the same appeal as other fun games. I like the idea of someone being my ‘fireman’ or ‘policeman’ with handcuffs.If I were a little bit more ‘built’ it would be fun to pretend to be a Playboy bunny or a cheerleader. I like pretending not to know someone, when meeting at a restaurant or a pub.

      Some things can be sensual or romantic and as long as both people ‘listen’ to how the other is reacting and respond with courtesy, all things can go smoothly. Sometimes, as in the case of the rope episode mentioned, the two parties may have had too much to drink, not being safe at all. Thanks for this comment, awhile ago, which I never answered, if appears…

      • Yes, so true, a blast from the past!
        I was about to write you last night when I ran out of time, W.S. Will you ever go by your ‘real’ first name? I almost always pause and refrain from using it.
        I have to go visit you since I have been away for probably a week…

  5. This is an interesting post for me because I took wide detours around “50 Shades of Grey” when it was in the bookstores. I know there was a lot of buzz in women’s circles about the book both among friends, on social media sites and on TV shows like The View. I have done a good job of avoiding all those venues, so I never really knew what the subject matter was about. Thankfully, your post told me all I needed to know without further investigation.

    I guess I am just as old fashioned as you describe yourself to be. – Mike

    • I may not be as old-fashioned as some because I am open to talk about things, but I do think this is not a very romantic situation. It is a relationship about a boss and an employee, Mike. In the real world, one or both would get fired!
      I don’t blame you for not reading or looking at any of this. I was kind of forced to, by the onslaught in 2013 of my youngest daughters friends all talking about it! Smiles and thanks for being here with the old ‘fogies’ who don’t need all the excess.

  6. I read part of the first book, Robin. A co-worker gave it to me and said, “You’ve got to read this.” Honestly, at the time, I heard some buzz about the book, but no details. I truly thought it was a book about a woman going through menopause. Obviously, that wasn’t the case. I was offended and shocked, not only the content, but the immature writing. My co-worker offered the other books to me, but I declined. I think it’s a sad state when a book such as this is a best seller and the upcoming movie has so much buzz. I’ll pass on this movie, but I’ll definitely support our troops and see, American Snipper.

    • I may not see “American Sniper,” until it comes out at the library but definitely am going to, eventually. My good friend at work and another friend outside of work, both saw it and said as they left the theater many people were stunned and speechless. This caused me to think that I am not sure I wish to see this yet.
      I have been to 4 movies I cried at so far this year, Jill! I support and believe in all the military and other services who protect us, endangering their lives and emotional personal stability to keep us safe. Thanks for your comments about the book. You had me giggling about what you thought about menopause. Wonder if the color grey got you thinking “old?” ha ha!

    • I am not sure about the one you mentioned, since I never read it nor watched it. My racy movie that I enjoyed in college was called, “The Incredible Lightness of Being.” I loved the way the women were open about their bodies, but it had history and meaning behind the sensual behaviors, Luanne!

  7. not my kind of literature, not my kind of movie, so… won’t spend my spare time on watchin’ it… 😀
    * * *
    @”I have to say, “NO THANKS,” when it comes to participating in games where there are dominant and submissive roles.” – same here and no need to say “thanx!” 😉

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