I Blame the Movie, “Ghost” for Us Not Working Out. . .

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Well folks who may or may not have heard I had developed not only a ‘crush’

but had hopes of finding a peaceful guy to date. But, NO! This is not to be!

Let’s go back to the Delaware Arts Festival which was over the second full

weekend of May. I went around and looked at gardening creative works

with my friend, Jenny on Saturday morning. Then, later in the day, I went

around the whole festival again, with my friend, Anna. I pointed out this

really nice, dark haired man who was a potter. I liked his ceramic coffee

cups with pine trees, beach and water. It reminded me of my Mom’s ‘colors’

when my parents lived on Lake Erie. She looked at jewelry and we had a

fun time until it poured down rain. On my ‘third time around’ on Sunday

morning, I went with my friend, Marty, a female librarian and her goal was

to collect people who worked with clay and glazes’ names. She got the

potter’s name and phone number of the one I was looking at each time

I passed by his tent. I decided to purchase a beautiful caramel-colored

spoon rest. It has leaves, branches and a bird drawn on it.

The details remind me of wood-burning in its appearance.

We were talking and I could tell he was listening to Marty and to me.

We all ended up, coincidentally, at the coffee shop ‘formerly known as’

The Mean Bean. It is now called, “Something Sweet.” Not all their coffees

are sweetened but they do have baked goods and sandwiches. I was in

a talkative, chatting voice about the potter’s hands and his glasses which

I am always attracted to men with glasses. Weird, my brothers and father

wore them so is it strange to wish to have ‘familiar’ looks around me?

Ended up finding out the phone number was not easily extracted from my

friend, Marty. Not sure why? She finally a week later told me, “I don’t feel

it is appropriate to call a man who gave me his card to learn more about

ceramics. This is not why he gave me the card.”

Before you jump to the same conclusion one of my guy friends and my

good best friend did, No, Marty doesn’t want to date the potter, and she

has a live-in boyfriend, Jean.

What ensued after I found out the phone number on the Internet, the

website where his pottery was displayed, was no longer working.

Hmmm…. my youngest daughter looked up his address and did a reverse

thing-a-ma-jig and somehow could give me an email and a ‘real’ phone

number. A landline.

I decided to do the ‘chicken’ way out, an email. I am rather ‘good’ with words

on paper or in a letter.

But, I ‘put myself out there.’ His response was awesome!

He called me using my cell phone number. Jonathan immediately started

talking about our common subject, which we had started in the tent and

then, when we ran into each other at the coffee shop: BIRDS!

I told him about the rose-colored breasted grosbeak and he talked about

his farm and bluebirds. He invited me out to eat at his house.

I am unfortunately not a ‘fan’ of meals when I am getting to know men.

I also am worried whether or not it seemed a little ‘brazen’ to accept.

I used the old fashioned, “I better wait until you can come my way and we could

have a cup of coffee together.”

I also added that my purse’s theft had left me a little bit nervous about trusting

people.

Well, things went so well in our texts back and forth. We were greeting each

other for over a week with “Good morning’s” and “Sleep tight’s.”

We had talked about the pink cast on the Full Strawberry Moon. He had

mentioned first fireflies and also, nights are more ‘mysterious.’

I wondered if by the end of summer, I would be humming or singing out

loud, “Please Come to Boston.”

“Rambling man, why don’t you settle down. . .”

I was so happy. He even wished me one day, “Hope your day is filled with

happies and wonder.”

But, he had to go to Michigan. There was a ‘lull’ in the texts. I texted him to

tell him I was heading to a beach party being held by a coworker.

He said, “Cool.”

There was a mention of clouds he saw over the booths at the Kalamazoo

Arts Festival.

I sent him two photos of pretty clouds I had taken one morning and one

evening.

Then, Saturday passed, Sunday passed and I got nervous.

He had shared details of his ‘firing,’ while in his home town. He had told

me about what he had packed, including taking a kayak to Michigan, too.

I felt I knew he would contact me about his days. Nope.

I felt he might let me know about his lonely night, after the festival ended.

Nope.

I know he is planning on going to Kentucky to an arts fest, so I decided to

let him off the hook. We will walk another week, don’t worry. I am busy, too.

A wonderful and warm, long message came. Philosophy and wisdom, some

really fine words sent my way. Then, he added that he needed to send

to other ‘friends’ so must not text again for awhile.

Hmmm. . .

We have come up with a conclusion, he has women friends. Melvin, Tammy

and Felda were sympathetic. How can I hope to compete with ‘groupies?’

There are many women who may like a ‘nerdy’ guy who has warm hands

and a kind heart. Especially at arts festivals you would pick him out,

full head of dark hair, 57 years old and still in good shape….

I think I may have fallen for a ‘rock star’ potter.

I blame the sensuality of Demi Moore showing Patrick Swayze how to make

a pot on a pottery wheel. The clay with the bare legs, the sexy pose with

Patrick behind Demi.

Yup! I may have lost my potter to the throngs of women who grew up with

“Ghost” and have always loved freedom speaking, poetic soft-spoken

hippie artist types.

I pull my heart out of the clay and may just step away.

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About reocochran

I am experiencing crazy and hapless adventures in dating that may interest people over fifty. I am now approaching 62 later this year and enjoy taking photographs, incorporating stories or poetry on my blog. I have many old posts which are informative and written like essays. I have several love stories collected from family and friends. Even strangers spill their stories, since I am a grown version of the girl next door. I have been trying to live a healthy lifestyle with better food selections and active hiking and walking. I have written four children's books and illustrated them. They are not published but a battered women's shelter used one about neglect and abuse for their children's program and a 4H group used my "Kissing a Bunny is like saying a Prayer" as a coloring book. Please comment or respond so I may get a chance to know you. Sincerely, Robin

67 responses »

  1. I don’t know if it was a movie, or that he has more offers than he can handle, or what…but I know this: Interested people act interested. So you took a shot at it and it didn’t take. For whatever reason. Welcome to the world of men who have to deal with rejection frequently. But nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? You try. Sometimes you win. Sometimes not. But you tried. And that’s what counts. keep at it

    • I agree with your emotions and appreciate your saying the positive outcome. I have 2 brothers so I have always let boys and now, men know my feelings. No games playing πŸ™‚

  2. Good for you Robin. It was a nice interlude. I’m glad you made the attempt, and glad that in the discovery phase it was discovered it was not to be. πŸ™‚ That’s a good thing. It is better than finding out way too late…..

  3. Interesting Robin. Reading this, I would not be so sure that he has groupies or other ladies in the wings, although it would be natural since you just met him. I guess I would give it time and let him make the next contact. But caution is so important. If I were single, I would use eHarmony or the like. Thorough background checks, etc. I hope this turns out to be positive in the end. If not, someone else is around the corner for such a wonderful, beautiful person like you. xx

      • No my early days of blogging included 100 dates in 6 months. Not that you would want to go back it was almost 3 years ago. 1500 “likes” I chose to respond to, 100 I chose to meet for coffee, ice cream, or a walk. No meals, low cost and less stress. Sort of fun, I have 2 good guy friends and dated one man from this for a year. My younger brother put thE one who lasted in his annual Christmas family newsletter. Sister in law and both brothers liked him. Beth. Shame was his ex-girlfriend knew we went to meet 4 if his 5 siblings, traveling around and finally to Florida. He went back to her. I did not get mad at him, since he loved her first. No kids between them but he still calls once a week but I don’t answer him. Except holidays. Just letting you know I learned to follow my gut feelings. Potter man sent me nice and cozy messays in early am and bedtime. I mis read

      • Messages which seemed to mean more but found out he also sent these out to multiple women as keeping in touch and he calls them “homey philosophical missives.” I just felt like if I meet someone and we last a couple of weeks, I would slow down on trying to be friendly morning and night times. My girlfriend’s husband says he felt the potter was spreading himself around and a little misleading. I told him if he every wanted to meet and hike or share some more time with me to let me know. But I also told him I was backing off.

      • Well, I am sorry that the potter didn’t work out. Why do people play these games with others? Life is complicated enough that manipulative people are to be avoided. Sheesh. Someone better will come along.

    • Yes, he claimed he had his kilns fired up and one weekend we had about 8 texts and he liked it when I talked about my grandsons head to toe in dirt since I mentioned they looked like they belonged in Lord of the Flies. He seemed to reply with deep thoughts and I joked it was like we were pen pals. For days and nights he sent me ones about moons, mist and meals he could make for me. I just wanted him to come my direction, Jill. He HD a show in Kalamazoo one weekend and in Kentucky another. Busy season and I said I was going to wait for a better time when he was less bust. But a friend’s husband told me he felt he was “stringing me along” and would have tried to come see me instead of trying to persuade me to head there. I feel fine but want everyone to see the humor in thus and not sorry.

    • Yes, he claimed he had his kilns fired up and one weekend we had about 8 texts back and forth. He liked it when I talked about my grandsons head to toe in dirt since I mentioned they looked like they belonged in Lord of the Flies. He seemed to reply with deep thoughts and I joked it was like we were pen pals. For days and nights he sent me ones about moons, mist and meals he could make for me. I just wanted him to come my direction, Jill. He had an art show in Kalamazoo one weekend and in Kentucky another. Busy season and I said I was going to wait for a better time when he was less busy. But a friend’s husband told me he felt he was “stringing me along” and would have tried to come see me instead of trying to persuade me to head there. I feel fine but want everyone to see the humor in this and not worry. I am happy and busy. Did you wonder about something weird about his texting, Jill?

      • I only wondered if you had actual time talking on the phone. I have some single friends who haven’t had good experiences with text only communication. I think people need to pick up the phone and talk. πŸ™‚ I’m glad you’re happy and busy!

    • I have 2 guy friends. One, Gary, writes for sports section of Columbus Dispatch and other, Bill, likes to hike and we analyze each others relationships. We occasionally go out to eat but are just friends. We have known each others kids since they were in h.s. and I have even met Bill’s ex-wife. Neither are friends “with benefits.” πŸ™‚

  4. robin i love this and love that you stepped out of your comfort zone and took a chance. it is really the only way and life is short, in my opinion. he sounds like an interesting man, and you may be right or who knows what his whole story really is, but i think you’ve done all you can from your side for now, just sit back and see if he follows up. if not, nothing ventured, and something gained, for you met a nice person and had interesting chats with him. the possibilities are endless –

    • Beth, you are so right! It was worth exploring anyway. Timing may be a big factor but I do know he has similar texts with several women who look forward to his “homey” philosophical texts. He clearly said he had to “go” to write to “other” friends. So, we will see how it all pans out. If it were you, I would say keep up the hope but let yourself go and drift towards more interested men. Luckily, we can stay busy with family and friends. πŸ™‚ thanks xo

      • and i have met a nice man at last, and we’ve been dating since august. there is hope for all of us, including him )

      • I am happy to hear this, Beth. I wondered about a winter/v Valentines day hotel trip and also one out west. . . Hope it keeps on going and he is indeed lucky to have you in his life, Beth πŸ™‚

  5. Robin, it has been awhile since you posted a story that reflects you blog’s title. You have so many fans now, all cheering for you to find romance (and maybe love), that it is exciting to learn of a possible connection. Whether or not this connection works out, it is a great story, and it radiates optimism for all who may also be open to the possibility of a meaningful relationship.

    I was 55 when Florence and I met on an Alaska cruise. Neither of us were in the market for a love relationship, but we were open to the possibilities. Next month, July 3rd, we celebrate the 10th anniversary of our meeting. These things can happen when you least expect it, so remember Pablo Cruise’s song and hum along:

    So now don’t, don’t be afraid of yourself
    Just move on to something else
    And let your love shine through again

    ‘Cause it’s all right once you get past the pain
    You’ll learn to find your love again
    So keep your heart open
    ‘Cause love will find a way

    – Mike

    • I love this song, Mike. When I started out, it was going to be about the wild and crazy days of dating. Then, my byline became “Relationships reveal our hearts.” I wrote a lot of love stories. Ones which are still lasting. Like yours and Florence’s. My aunt and uncle’s love story started while they were young (at church camp) and they are still alive and love each other married yesterday 60 years! My parents were married the same year. Mom’s sister Amy and her husband Orrin stood up for my parents and vice versa. πŸ™‚ Each others best man and maid or matron of honor.
      Thank you for saying such nice things. We shall see and once in awhile I will mention possibilities. πŸ™‚

  6. My mother was a single mom who dated well into middle age and it was no picnic. It’s funny how men who are still in shape into middle age can get a very high woman to man ratio. Anyway, I’m sure everything happens for a reason. Who knows what may have happened had the relationship developed? My mother did finally remarry, btw.

    • I am not upset about spending about a month of hopefull thinking. It gave me possibilities playing in my (work) daydreams. Thanks so much, Marissa, for your cheery and encouraging words. πŸ™‚

    • Joey, he had such nice, warm hands. πŸ™‚
      thanks for seeing the humor and fun intended in this story! It was not a waste of time since it gave me a lot of happy daydreams of possibilities. He is a nice man but if I were a person of interest, at his age of 57, he might not want to tell me of “others” who look also forward to his texts. Maybe he doesn’t expect such a reaction but there have been a couple guy friends who also thought he may be stringing me along. Well, I am off the hook and until a definite safe date is planned, I am not waiting by my cell for his text meesages πŸ™‚

  7. I don’t know the whole situation but I think first of all I agree with you by not going to his house. If he wanted to see you meeting half way would have been more appropriate. Unfortunate it sounds like you two had a lot in common but my impression (I have dated a lot of men on line and in person) he liked the attention. There are a lot of great guys out there, but there are also a lot that like attention until something else comes along. Don’t loose faith there is someone wonderful out there for you, it was just not him

  8. How sweet the texts are ! I really hope you get a person as warm and kind as you. Dating in our part of world is for entirely different purpose. Actually it was not in our culture and we kinda adapted it from west. The present generation is quite hopeful and taking it to another level. The picture of ‘the clay with the bare legs, the sexy pose with Patrick behind Demi’ was definitely the highlight of this ‘date special post’. Good to take a chance.

    • I am so happy you found this to be fun and not too serious. I will not be sitting with my cell, waiting for him to arrange a “real” date. I was a different kind of one boyfriend a year in junior year of high school, then another in senior year and found first husband in freshman year of college. I like to joke “I am a serial monogamist.”
      This was a rather “traditional” way of thinking here in U.S. but as an adult with kids and grandchildren I wish for someone to share time and go places with. I appreciate how you described the way your young people are changing their ways of dating and choosing a partner.

  9. So sorry it didn’t work out Robin. But better to know now than later, as someone else said. I wish for you a soulful connection with someone who shares beautiful words and sunsets, but also, most importantly, the truth. God bless you in your search. I really feel for you. It is not fair to have a tease of something really good, only to have it snatched away just as your feelings are starting to be involved. I remember those days all too well.

    • Linda, there is always a nice, kind word for me from you. I appreciate your hopes for me, along with finding a man who will share thoughts and beliefs with me. Until then, I am do blessed to have fellow bloggers to “listen,” family and friends who care plus, keep me busy!

  10. I love the way you write. It’s hard to pull the heart out of the clay- I am proud of you. Clean it off with some sunshine and maybe even chocolate and tears. Love will find your beautiful heart and wash away the rest:)) i will keep believing with you! πŸ’–πŸ™

    • This really made me feel like you “got” me and understood my writing. I only once in awhile write in a poetic way. I hope you may find on another day something as creative as your writing is πŸ™‚

      • You are so kind! Thank you- I do really feel I connected with your words and I will keep reading and supporting you on this journey. We can keep our heads up together! ❀️

  11. It’s the openness and willingness to love that is good for people, I think. You have a big heart and he just wasn’t the right person, although he probably wanted to be when things were going well.

  12. Some relationships are not meant to be.. I am sure that there is someone special waiting for someone special like you too to come along..

    Many thanks for your lovely visit Robin.. lovely to meet you
    Blessings
    Sue

  13. I applaud the fact that you put yourself out there! Sorry it turned the way it did, but better sooner rather than later. Keep the faith!! (side note: love your writing style!)

  14. I love that scene from Ghost. I would ask my fiancΓ© to reenact with me if we had a potter wheel but seems like a big clean up job after the fact. lol. I love that you put yourself out there and took a chance. Takes bravery every time in my opinion.

  15. Robin, You are so sweet to love a man with glasses. I love that you were talking about birds and nature. He sounds like a man with a lot going for him. You need a steady man, not a butterfly, though, my friend. I think you are right to be cautious. And I’m glad you didn’t go to his house, because the outcome would have been the same but with more damage to your heart. XOXO

    • I am sorry to hear you can relate to this. It got a bit “worse,” in the sense of my feeling like a loser. He told me he would like to write and feel challenged but when he would go out to dance he didn’t need “Mary Poppins.” This did end up amusing me once I got over the fact he even said this about me!

  16. You are right to trust your gut, Robin. “Ghost” did fire our imaginations. But there are few Patrick Swayze’s out there. When you find the “right” one, I hope he’s as loving and attentive as your Dad. You deserve a great guy. πŸ˜‰

    • This was a wise observation using the movie as part of why it wasn’t right for us. Thanks, Judy for also including what you had felt about my Dad after reading that remembrance. I sure liked your father and would have called him, “Mr. ____” πŸ™‚

  17. I’ve had to take the bull by the horns before, so I applaud your efforts for going after him, as far as the first word. I would think at 57, men would stop playing games, but that does sound like my teen years. He acts interested and then he doesn’t know what he wants, all apropos of nothing. Well, don’t settle for just anyone. Keep hope alive.

  18. Thanks, Kerbey, for sharing your feelings about the way it “all went down.” I think it was comforting to be reminded this show interest is a style of the type of man I need to stay away from. My younger brother thought his practice of finding out my interest in writing and then sort of “went fishing” by sending me quotes and folksy poetry. I was “weirded out” at how much he seemed to like me, asking me to his home and giving me three choices of foods he would prepare. It seemed a little creepy so I said we could meet for coffee. When I was young I may have gone to his house for our second date. Makes me feel like I would be desperate had I jumped at this too soon. Thanks for listening. Hope you have had some luck or a specila someone. If you later have a piece of good advice or strategy let me know. πŸ™‚

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