Category Archives: adult dating

Questioning My Heartbreak

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The post today would have been on something else.

It would have been articulate and worthy of reading.

It would have been on subjects esoteric or philosophical.

I set the previous subject on the ‘back burner of my mind.’

This is such an ancient topic,

old as the people who first

walked the Earth.

 

Heartbreak.

 

Why, oh why did you have to call?

 

I was so deep in slumber and in a good place.

I have tried to block you from my mind.

When I thought I was so ‘over’ you,

I ‘unblocked’ your cell phone number.

 

Why did I do this?

Because, I would want to know. . .

If something bad happened to you.

 

Do you remember the poem

I had written where I talked

about I would rather do this

or that; than be with you?

 

Could you laugh

as I mentioned

I would rather

be in a cage

with monkeys?

 

Did you get the least bit

teary eyed when you

realized I was serious?

 

Just when my Life is on course.

You know how to turn my heart

topsy-turvy, my world upside down.

 

No, I am not involved with anyone.

But, how dare you think it is okay

to call so early in the

morning!

 

Isn’t it at all possible,

for you to imagine,

I may have

someone

special by now,

sleeping beside me?

 

Isn’t it possible,

that I may have

danced the night away

and needed to sleep

some more?

 

Couldn’t it be,

am out of the country,

with my long lost

soul mate,

on a wonderful

cruise?

 

Traveling

far off countries

mentioned

in my hopes

for us?

 

Might I have not wanted

to stay in my dream land,

content to have warmth

and positive thoughts

to greet my day?

 

Every old love lost

and heartbreak song

was written by someone

who had hopes dashed.

 

I don’t want to have you

lingering on my mind.

 

When I am in a good place,

secure and confident

I will somehow have

a partner to share

our lives together.

 

Tried it a few times,

not desperate yet.

 

Even if she were dead,

you chose to go back

to an ex-girlfriend.

 

Didn’t your family,

my family,

and

I

try to tell you how we fit together?

Better than ‘two peas in a pod?”

 

You may regret,

Never listened.

Never again,

I won’t regret.

 

So, Go!

Please- – Go!

 

Stay out of my phone,

my mind

and

my dreams.

 

I am not channeling Adele or Taylor Swift’s rants.

This is my non-poetic prose. Just trying to let it go.

Trying to keep on my happy path. Shining light on

and soon to be sharing the “Cinderella” story with

my “M & M” granddaughters, ages 4 and 6. Hope

they will not be counting on a fairy tale, but better

yet:  A real and everlasting love. Like my parents

had and my grandparents had. This is my wish.

~Robin Elizabeth Oldrieve Cochran, 3/14/15.

 

P.S. I did not answer his phone call. I deleted his

message. He is not dead; nor in the hospital.

Enough to let me be content.

 

What is your favorite heartbreak song?

I love Neil Diamond’s, “Solitary Man.”

I’m Not Making This Up!

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The crazy thing is, I have written some character studies on three

homeless people around Delaware, Ohio. I have also, tried to use my

imagination and intuitiveness, to dig deeper and build these essays

to include more well-rounded characters. Well, a man who has talked

to me a few times, younger by at least ten years or more had asked

me for my phone number before.

I did not tell him my phone number. I did tell him that he seemed

‘too young’ and I had ‘enough male friends already.’ So he launched

into a lower-voiced, loud whispered ‘tirade’ against women who ‘judge’

him!

Honestly, he looks quite attractive, so that is not my reason for

not handing out my phone number.

Wait a minute! I am not known for being judgmental.

I pointed out, looking anxiously at the librarian to see if our

voices were reaching her ears, in her audible range,

“Women need to be careful about giving details to people they

really don’t know!”

Let’s start at the beginning…

This younger man I met, had introduced himself as Chad a few weeks

ago, at the library. He’s the man I may have mentioned was heading

awhile ago to Roop’s (Roop Brother’s Bar) to sing for Open Mic night.

He had asked me if I would like to join him for a drink and wait

until his turn to sing at Open Mic Night.

I had not taken him up on an offer for a drink. This may or may not

‘ring’ a bell, but since I mention lots of details, I would not expect

you to remember this one man. I liked the way he smelled, (like a

bar of Irish Spring soap!) and he wore a nice pair of blue jeans,

a plaid flannel shirt in greens. He was thin, wiry with dark ‘salt

and pepper’ hair.

I felt a little uncomfortable that time a few weeks ago, as I walked

home. Not afraid he would jump out in the alley behind the library,

but mainly contemplating my motives for not giving my phone number

out or taking him up for a simple drink out. I used to go to that

particular Thursday night regular activity, enjoying the local

musical scene, including Felicia’s friend, Morgan Treni. I spent a

few moments thinking about whether or not I had been judging him.

It could be truthfully, my decision was partly impacted by the

fact that he was also using a computer in the library.

I know, that would be kind of ‘two-faced.’ It did make me stop

and wonder whether or not to get involved.

Mainly, I am not Cher!

I am not Jennifer Lopez!

I cannot afford a younger man, who may be an aspiring singer!

This makes me smile, thinking as my mind wanders off to last

Wednesday’s “Hot in Cleveland,” show. That is a little ‘gem’

which I like to play ‘channel surfing’ with, catching glimpses

of its incredibly funny ‘take’ on older men and women’s love

lives. The bonus part is how there have been so many other

oldies show up to take a role in the show. I enjoyed when the

“Emergency!” show squad showed up, the “CHIPS” guys were in

a Cleveland bar, at the same time the characters were, etc.

Only one other post was on this subject, the one where Wendie

Malick’s character wears a product similarly to Depends.

I laughed last week, when Betty White sashayed into the room,

while the others, Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves and Wendie

Malick were sitting on the sofa and a comfy chair. Her funny

announcement, tickled me:

“I have decided to take a lover!”

The ongoing conversation stopped, of course. Another added

titillating detail was thrown out, in a provocative tone,

“And he is much younger than I am!”

She raised her eyebrow and gave each of the women in the room,

a glance or a wink. Betty White is a professional and knows how

to ‘milk’ a crowd and build great laughs. This show is ‘filmed

in front of a live audience,’ too! They were roaring and hooting,

too!

So, along with being not as rich or flamboyant as Cher or as

incredibly beautiful and hot, like Jennifer, I have to say I am

not as bold and brazen as Betty White’s character is, on that

comedy show! (By the way, if you ever get a chance to see this

show, or wish to know the background on this fantastic cast

with lots of comedic histories for each character, you can look

it up! I used to watch Wendie in “Just Shoot Me,” Jane in “Frasier,”

and Valerie Bertinelli, as a teenager in the show, “One Day at a

Time” and later, in “Touched by an Angel” and movies, too. )

So, I was busily typing and trying to get my May Monthly Calendar

rough draft completed over the weekend. I had plans to pick up

my two grandsons, we had chosen a few titles of movies, were

going to have an egg hunt, along with hiding in the dark later

that evening, using flashlights. I was dressed for the first

destination, after I picked the boys up: Mingo Park.

Chad was sitting next to me, asking me how he could set up

a wordpress account, along with his having heard there was a

website to get money for potential production of musical CD’s.

I really was mad at myself, for being ‘too friendly’ to this

man and also, for my being accessible. I could not get up

and leave my computer, get in line and get a number, since

it was one of the ‘busiest’ computer days: Saturday!

I wrote down the word, “Kickstarter” on my little pad of

paper. Whispered that he could look into this online,

for helping raise money for his CD. Then, I added,

“You could get the website printed on cards to pass out

at Open Mic nights around the city of Delaware, and even

in Columbus.”

Big mistake!

I again, had led him to believe that I cared!

“I cannot keep doing this, Robin,” I thought to myself!

The next thing, was the last straw though. You will not

believe this one!!

Chad leaned over and asked me where my apartment building

was and how much was rent there?

Of course, I got nervous. I have conflicting feelings about

helping people when the situation brings me into a position

where there is a potential for danger. Also, somehow he may

wish to use me as a reference.

I had to look Chad, who is kind of cute for a younger forty

year old man, and say:

“I cannot tell you this. Sorry, Chad!”

He got up, humphed in a tone that was loud enough to catch

the librarian’s attention and gathered his backpack and stuff.

He crumpled up the piece of paper with the word, “Kickstarter”

on it, throwing change and his wallet, along with a notebook

into the backpack.

As I was leaving awhile later, the sympathetic librarian said

to me,

“You know, he is homeless. He lives at Andrews House, in the

homeless loft.”

Of all the luck…

I will try to restrain my overactive guilty conscience and

let this one go!

“Let’s Go for a Ride!”

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When the word, “bicycle,” first appeared in print, it

was in an article in the English newspaper, “The Daily

News.” The writer spelled its variations as, ‘trysicles’

and ‘bysicles.’ This was in 1868. To put this into time

sequence and add perspective, the first car was invented

in 1886. Bicycles were around only 18 years longer. This

is rather hard to believe!

Original bicycles were totally different looking and the

foot-powered bikes were somewhat like hobby horses.

Their nickname, coming from the odd word combination

using a hobby horse, was “Dandy horse.”

In 1897, magazines advertising for ointments to ease

aches and pains, included women in these loose items of

clothing. They looked like “pantaloons” or as my friend,

Luanne suggested, “bloomers.” These women wore their hair

swept up into buns, with a hat held onto their hair, using

hat pins. The smaller hat, could have been replaced with a

wider brim, with netting to tie under the women’s chins.

The women, in the old fashioned ad, were preparing to ride

on bicycles.

To still look like a ‘lady,’ this clothing design makes

me smile. It accommodated women’s ‘right’ to ride bikes.

They could disembark from their bike, having the look of

wearing a longer skirt.

An author of a recent book, Thomas Ambrose, includes a

long passage about the impact of bicycles on women’s

equality. Here is part of that passage in the quotation

about women’s bicycling:

“As women got ideas that they wanted more social liberty,

this” (the fact that cars were expensive and they were

not able to purchase them) “became irksome. The coming

of the bicycle gave women freedom…the lady’s bicycle

is probably an emblem of emancipation.”

“The History of Cycling in Fifty Bikes,” (224 pp.),

by Irish author, Tom Ambrose. He rode bikes as a boy

in the 50’s and 60’s. Now, currently, as a grandfather

rides a ‘sporting amateur’s bike.’

When people while courting sometimes would say,

“Do you want to go for a drive? (or road trip?)”

this would sometimes include a stop at “Lover’s

Lane” before going home. If one were not able to

afford a car, you could travel with a bicycle with

your sweetheart. Another choice, you could have a

bicycle built for two, called a ‘tandem bike.’

The song with the chorus of “Daisy, Daisy, tell

me your answer true…” originally contains the

words, ‘bicycle built for two.’ It was written

in 1892 by Harry Dacre.

After all, you could still stop to have a picnic

or have a romantic moment under a tree.

There is a recent trend of using bikes to travel

as families, with the adults in the lead and they

have attached a wagon with a netted canopy-sort of

thing. The children are safely strapped down inside.

These are called, “cargo bikes.” I sometimes wonder

how those children feel, as they look out upon the

world, whisking briskly past them. Do they have any

focus to their views on nature, if the parents’ travel

route is on a bike path in a park? Do the children

have any thoughts on the lack of clarity of their

scenery? Is it rather blurry, once the bikes start

going down the paths quickly. Maybe they love the way

it feels going ‘fast’ through life?

In the 1960’s and 70’s, the new trend then, was to be

more conscious of the environment. The gas prices then

and other areas of society were soaring (just imagine

if we could go back to what the rising prices were

then! Smile!) I can picture someone who was a hippie

then, saying ‘ride on’ instead of ‘right on!’

Anyway, being aware of the natural resources brought

about the movement to cycle to work.

In some big cities, they started adding a cycling

lane. Of course, in Eastern countries, this was an

older pattern, from rickshaws to bicycling in China

and India, along with other countries whose cities

were getting engorged with traffic jams.

The low cost and community sense of bikes, also was

apparent while I was growing up. There were more

‘fix-it’ or bicycle repair stores around back then.

In communes, if one weren’t walking or riding a horse,

you may have a bicycle to get from the country into

town.

Racing bicycles became popular and the biggest race

of this sort, was the Tour de France competition. This

came about in 1903.

Some different, unusual advancements in the bicycling

world that are notable are:

The Lucas bike lamp, an early oil lamp, made night time

bicycling safer.

Inflatable tire, thanks to John B. Dunlop’s invention.

Wire spokes, kudos to James Stanley’s creative usage.

In the Viet Nam war era, North Viet Nam bikes were

painted in camouflage, allowing many dangerous and

silent war events of bombs and shootings to occur.

Gears, derailers, carbon filters and more improvements

have been made over the years.

There was a Spring in the past eight years, while I

have been single when I dated a man, casually. After

we had been together a year, I had a moment where I

visualized the movie with Tom Crew, Renee Zewelleger

and Cuba Gooding. No, it was not, “Show me the money!”

It was that romantic line delivered by Renee Z. to

Tom’s character:

“You had me at, ‘Hello.'”

The man I was dating said,

“I would like to buy you a bicycle and keep it in my

garage for us to ride in different Central Ohio Metro

Parks.”

The line redone could have been, “You had me at buying

me a bike!”

That was ‘as good as it gets!’ I really don’t need a

sparkling diamond ring nor a proposal!

It meant something, it meant some future good times.

We bought a nice red “cruising bicycle” with red and

white Hawaiian pattern. It was a reasonably priced

Schwinn bike. It had a bell! It had a light! I was so

thrilled! I had called my brother, Rich, for some

shopping input, since he is a triathlon racer and

uses a racing bike for one of the ‘legs’ of those

races. He told me the three speed bike, with hand

brakes, would be an ‘easy adjustment’ for me.

We went on a short bike ride that weekend. I headed

home, ready to call my best friend (or two) to brag

that I finally had reached a sort of commitment with

this man.

The following weekend, I headed over on a sunny day,

anticipating a wonderful afternoon of riding our bikes

together. That just seemed, to me, one of the most fun

and romantic pastimes ever!

When we opened this man’s garage, he was pulling his

bike off its hooks on the wall, while I approached my

bike which was leaning against the wall. I dragged it

out into the sunshine. It was hard to roll. Oh no!

Both tires were flat. While the man looked up the

weight of the tires and got his air pump out, I had

a weird sense of doom. I know, you will call it some

kind of intuition. I was starting to babble, showing

frustration. I was flabbergasted:

“How could this have happened in one short week?”

I verbalized my fears:

“Is this a sign or something?”

I could not stop my heart from sinking, as I sat out

in the yard, looking up at the bright blue sky and

pondering the significance.

I heard what sounded like a gun shot. It was the stupid

inner tube exploding inside the tire. That sinking

feeling sunk more. He had simply over-inflated it.

I don’t know why I was being so anxious, but I was!

I tried to breathe deeply, tried to allow calm to fill

me up.

When he emerged from the garage, he had ‘accidentally’

exploded BOTH inner tubes. I don’t know why, but I

realized this may have been on purpose. I reflected

back upon the purchase the past weekend, how he had

exclaimed. as we passed a park,

“That is the park I used to ride all the time with

my ex-girlfriend.”

You may think I am crazy, but when he asked me, note

that he did not tell me,

“Do you want to take the bike back and get another one?

We could say we didn’t notice that the bike’s tires

were flat…”

I noticed that he did not say,

“Let’s go buy new inner tubes.”

I sighed and replied,

“Just take the bike back.”

He looked at me,

“Are you sure, Robin?”

He didn’t argue or try to talk me back into this

decision.

I then knew that the bike represented ‘too much

commitment.’ The relationship went downhill after

that. Weeks later, he was back with his ex, probably

riding those same paths with her.

When I talk about a bucket list, plans to travel far

and wide. I would be happy to have a bike and a man to

ride, here in Ohio. This is not that much to ask for!

I have many fond memories of bike rides with friends,

brothers, Science Club and loved ones. I hope that I

did not detract from the positive opinion I have about

bicycles!

This Spring and Summer, if you have a bicycle, get it

fixed up and ready to go on a marvelous ride! There

are many reasons, to enjoy scenery, move up and down

hills, pump your legs for exercise and for the special

way it feels to be on a bike! Some people who feel

hiking is overwhelming or hard on their feet, will

enjoy getting on a bicycle. It is still a rather

reasonable purchase, comparatively speaking, to

other sports equipment.

Don’t worry, it is not like you will have forgotten

how to ride!

It is like that old adage, “Get right back on that

horse and ride it.”

By the way, I think that would be an equally fun way

to travel around parks that accommodate horses. But,

what I really meant to say is,

“Get your bike out and enjoy the ride!

… and don’t forget your bike helmet!”

Friday’s Fun Day

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Happy celebrating an Early St. Patrick’s Day!

Several of my coworkers were heading out of

work, since today is our ‘half’ day, to buy

some green beer. They said, “Come on, Robin!”

No, I just could not do it! Now, I would have

said, “Yes!” to green eggs and bacon, or green

pancakes!

Anyway, while we are on the subject of drinking,

I thought I would share one of those humorous

forwards that land in my emails! I am actually

going to type it in, since you never know what

may be attached to this! I changed a few words

so no plagiarism lawsuits will ensue! Ha Ha!

Also, this will help us all…

IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION:

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more

assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions you

may wish to find a physician or pharmacist about…

Cabernet Sauvignon.

Cabernet is the safe, natural way to feel better and

more confident about yourself and your actions. It

can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell

the world that you’re ready and willing to do just

about anything!

You will notice the benefits of Cab, as those who are

familiar with this beverage call it. Almost immediately,

with a regimen of regular does, you can overcome any

obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want

to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and

you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living.

Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women

who are pregnant or nursing should never use it.

However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming

pregnant are encouraged to try it.

SIDE EFFECTS:

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting

incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing,

loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur

and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all night rounds

of Strip Poker, Truth or Dare and Naked Twister.

WARNINGS:

The consumption of Cab or other wine or alcohol choices

may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

The consumption of Cab may cause you to tell your friends

over and over again that you love them.

The consumption of Cab may cause you to think you can

sing (or other talents you do not have in your ‘wheel

house.’)

The consumption of Cab may create the illusion you are

tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most

people.

Now, just imagine what you could achieve with a decent

Shiraz, Pinot Noir or Merlot!

No matter what- Enjoy your weekend!!

The Opposite of Romance

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There were Saturday afternoon movies on television where

the brothers got to take a turn choosing the movie. Which

meant; it must be winter! Then, while they were outside

gallivanting in the Spring or Fall, I sometimes wanted to

get ‘lost’ in a movie and dream’ a little.

One of my favorite ‘escape’ movies was called, “Tammy and

the Bachelor,” starring Debbie Reynolds. She played a 17

year old girl, living barefoot along a Mississippi swamp

with her Grandpa, played by Walter Brennan. Along comes a

city ‘folk’ handsome man named, Leslie Nielson. You can

just guess what transpires!

There are four ‘Tammy’ movies, if you wish to indulge in

plots that resemble cotton candy spun into tales of love

and romance. I adored these, along with the old black and

white “Thin Man” movies. These were about a wealthy

married couple but enjoyed playing detectives. Myrna Loy

plays a rather ‘spunky’ wife, with William Powell as her

debonair husband. This comedy-romance movie spun off

into quite a collection of films.

Today’s post could not be written on Tuesday or Wednesday,

since I really had a debate with myself. I was unsure

what you would consider about my thoughts about the recent

debacle on a silly show called, “The Bachelor.”

I mean this week is “Brain Awareness Week” and what am I

doing writing about a show that most probably consider

‘mindless drivel?’ Pretty ironic!

I would be remiss if I didn’t say that I had watched the

Bachelor show, observing dating in its most unnatural

habitat. How could I have a witless dating after fifty

blog and not have some comments to ‘weigh in with?’

Although the ancient, and almost extinct, patterns

depicted in this season’s show were amusing, they also

had some alarming warnings.

The Bachelor, Juan Pablo, has become fairly infamous

in the past two days. Besides there were many people

who had purposely watched the season. I can only

imagine women cringing behind their pillows, gritting

their teeth every time he said such surface-oriented

compliments.

On the show, I noticed there were few women who even

noticed his very shallow dialogue and subject matters

in their conversations. Almost all seemed to get big

grins on their faces, while we watched him ingratiate

himself with such comments as,

“You are so sexy!’

“You are the most beautiful woman.”

“You look pretty today.”

or, using his Spanish, “Ay, ay, ay!” (Meaning ‘Oh, my!’)

It happened to be the Final Rose Ceremony and the

episode that usually ends with a marriage proposal.

Lots of current hype about the show, the shocked

silence in the studio audience. The stunned host,

even, shaking his head.

Either you caught the different wild stories on

the entertainment news or you may have already

seen a cover story about Juan Pablo. He pocketed

the diamond ring that he had us all focus in on

while he chose this with the Lane Jewelry man

who makes his periodic appearance, when the final

show is approaching.

When Juan is about to tell Claire, one of the two

final women left on the show, that she is not his

heart’s desire, she figures it out. She had already

insinuated that he had made a major rude ‘under the

radar,’ (possibly crude) statement to her on their

‘island date.’ As they were disembarking from the

plane, while no microphones would pick up his not

so nice comment, which threw Claire through a loop.

She made a big deal about that she had expected a

different kind of ‘sweet nothing’ whispered in her

ear. We can just imagine.. He was, according to Claire,

‘crude.’

On their final night together, Juan had persuaded

Claire to soften her heart. He was giving promises and

espousing future plans of their having babies together

and raising his daughter, Camilla. She had decided she

loved him, would ‘forgive’ his faux pas and was ready

to get engaged to him.

I think, after all these years, I had a sick to my

stomach feeling. A deja vu moment. I saw myself, talking

myself into accepting what most, including my parents,

would consider ‘unacceptable behavior.’ This happened to

me!

I felt compelled to write this, thinking that it may

save one person from this foolish mistake. To cover

a television show that I do feel within the realm of

my interests and studying dating patterns. Little did

I realize the ‘reality show’ would open up my memories

of a bad situation.

When Juan did not ask Claire, but told her that she

was not the one he loved, she let him have it. That

she would not take a hug, she put her arms out and

with a firm (and not bitchy voice) said that she would

not want to marry him nor wish to have any children

with him. She felt sorry for the one who would be

part of his future life. (This is the gist of Claire’s

final ‘stand,’ I am sure there are videos of this

episode, if you wish to get the juicy details.)

So, the final night with the second girl did not

go too smoothly either. Nikki had written Juan a

very heartfelt letter, professing her love for him.

She had already told him once before and she also

(like Claire) had been one of three girls to take

Juan ‘home with them.’

Nikki is saddened that Juan does not say any sort of

answer to her thoughts, her question being, ‘Do you

love me?’ This final night, she cries because she

is unsure of his answer.

Unless you have been living under a rock, or hate this

sort of thing, (hopefully you stopped reading awhile ago.)

Nikki was not given a ring nor asked to get married, by

Juan. Nikki, again, tells Juan she loves him and has

enjoyed every moment together…

Juan tells her he is not going to ask her to marry him

until he ‘is very sure’ or that he is ‘100% sure.’

Then when she has poured her heart out once again, Juan

says these words:

“I like you a lot.”

Seriously!

One smart man, Sean, who chose a great partner, in

Katherine (or Catherine) is in the studio audience

watching along with two other couples and a full

room. Three couples have followed the procedures,

kept the pattern or formula of finding their partners

and gotten married.

Sean says a wise statement,

“Isn’t this like biting the hand that feeds you?”

He is astounded that even on the “After the Final Rose

Ceremony,” Juan is not able to say he loves Nikki nor

if or when they will get married.

Lots of red flags have gone off, in my own head, during

the course of this particular Bachelor’s season. Juan is

able to kiss and do more with some, but says to others,

“Out of respect for my daughter, I will not kiss all the

women.”

He chose to go out into the ocean with Claire, where it

looks in the moonlight, like they are making out. Possibly

more.

The next day, Juan gave HER a lecture about disrespecting

his daughter, making her feel bad that she had ‘enticed him

into there.’ Presumably, they did more together that night

than he had planned. She was half of the equation and yet,

he doesn’t say he is sorry. No, he places the blame on her!

If I were a pediatric nurse, as Nikki is, I would have

used my mind and my intuition to pack my bags really

early on. Looking back at the season’s shows, maybe she

still will walk out.

Here are my quick words about the girls that stayed,

once Juan’s behaviors became questionable:

Have you been brainwashed?

Have you not been out on a date for quite awhile?

Are you desperate?

Did you get ‘caught up in the moment’ and possibly

got into a competitive spirit… which explains why

you didn’t care that Juan is not the ‘brightest

bulb on the Christmas tree?’

Have you ever heard of Stockholm syndrome? Were you

held against your will?

This season’s Bachelor show did not do well in the

producer’s choice in a man to follow the guidelines.

The parents, during the family ‘hometown visit’ had

been saying that Juan doesn’t always know who to

choose, is immature and also, that he is egotistical.

I see Juan trying to come off as nice and easygoing,

while showing a lot of control and forethought into

his actions.

During commercials the week before this Final Rose

Ceremony program, they called this, “The Most

Controversial Bachelor Show Ever!”

I would call it the show that held women back in time,

to when they were not able to make their own choices.

It was a ‘throw back’ to the giddy, but sweet, movies,

like “Tammy and the Bachelor.”

Too bad it did not have the lovely innocence or

sentimentality needed in a truly romantic show.

Insult to Injury: Reasons not to date a much younger man

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Just to start out with a bit of information I found out recently,

that Dick Van Dyke has married at age 87, a woman who is a makeup

artist, of 42 years of age. Now, I ask you, what will they have in

common? Will he “catch her up” on the oldies but goodies that he

enjoyed? Will she “fill him in” on all the new technology and new

musical groups that he may have never listened to?

This all is so upsetting! I was match made by my youngest daughter

with a man who is 47 years old. I have been 58 since November. I

think we would have a lot in common. We are not that far apart and

as I was driving to meet him at the Polaris (Shopping area, north

of Columbus, Ohio) Panera Bread, I was given a pep talk by my

youngest daughter.

First of all, she led with the fact this man had been ‘stood up’

at the restaurant that she works at on High Street. (Cameron

Mitchell’s The Pearl Restaurant.) He was sitting at the bar,

looking at his watch or his cell phone and seemed rather tired

and cranky. His impatience had led him to ordering a few drinks

while waiting, ultimately ending up with wings and French fries.

Not the typical healthy fare that the restaurant is known for,

and my daughter, the hostess with the ‘most-est” (the spell

check would not accept the word without a hyphen, it wanted to

make it moistest! Smile!) Anyway, she wandered over, asked

the bartender/server for a hot tea, she was like me all

week, voice-less or nearly so.

She introduced herself and asked him who he was waiting for,

he openly declared himself, “stood up.” He also looked within

a short time at my photograph. This is how my family and friends

approach absolute strangers… He said I looked ‘too young’ to

have her as a daughter. She was asked to ‘guess my age’ and she

guessed the man as ’61.’ I have to grin now, as I type this, since

alas, she ‘forgot’ my age and said I was ’55.’ He said he was only

47 and yet, since I looked ‘younger than 55’ he would take a chance

and he gave her his phone number.

Sunday morning, I did not have to work. I did not try to ‘earn my

Tuesday off,’ and just took my already ‘free’ Wednesday off. I

texted him, “Would you like to buy this girl a coffee?” He texted

back, that he did not have any plans, was relaxing and reading the

Sunday newspaper. I texted him at ten a.m. after my daughter had

let me know his phone number on Sat. into Sun. early hours. I

figured I would wait until I was ready to go brave the cold,

also allowing him to sleep in, if he were that type of guy.

After ten minutes of texting back and forth, trying to decide

where a halfway point would be, we agreed to meet at 11:00 a.m.

I drove across town in Delaware to feed my friends’ kitties,

then hurried back to S.R. 23 southward bound. I was sipping on

my second cup of coffee, having eaten a light breakfast. I was

nervous!

When I entered Panera, he had been told I was wearing a red,

down coat and he said he would have a gray and red sweater

on. He had chosen a booth, arriving a minute earlier. I had

texted him from my friend, Jenny’s house, telling him that

it may be closer to 11:15 but it was only 11:02, so I made

good time.

We shook hands and then went up to the counter, I offered to

go ahead and purchase my coffee. He said he would pay for it.

I glanced at the pastries, my ‘downfall’ and passed. He went

ahead and ordered what appeared to be lunch. He said I could

order more, but I declined.

Once we sat down, I mentioned that my daughter had told me

he was a political consultant. I asked if he had a particular

client? He answered that he had been closely affiliated and

liked Ted Strickland. I mentioned that I had met John Glenn

and his wife a few times, along with Gene Branstool. He told

me both politicians were ‘fine men.’ I told him that Gene had

presented my battered women’s children funding grant to his

subcommittee. That he is like the ‘salt of the earth.’ Turns

out that Bill knew his son. That was cool, I thought, I like

to hear about connections between people. Also, told him why

I knew John Glenn.

Bill was very understated and not a bragging man, but he did

mention that one of the pictures of himself on match.com,

(where the woman who stood him up had ‘met him’) he was

wearing a tuxedo. He says he has to own one to go to the

Inaugurations and Inaugural Balls. I was fascinated by the

subject, but he did not pursue or reveal much more.

When I told him my real age, he backed off, pushed himself

away from the table, leaning back to study me. I began a

short summary of my relationships. I have a very shortened,

humorous summary which usually gets a few smiles. When I

said I had three children and one of my children had

married a woman with two children and then had two more,

which made the total go up to four. He muttered, not very

quietly (if you watch, “The Middle” think of the character

Brick who looks downward, but you can hear his comments0:

“Four too many!”

I looked a little stunned, he looked at me, no blinking and

said, “I don’t have children, am an uncle and do that well.”

I went on to say that both my brothers didn’t have children

but were very involved in my children’s lives and also, now,

with the grandchildren. I did not pause, but I am a little

aghast.

Later, I did get up the nerve to ask, “Do you date anyone

with children?”

Bill said, “Most of the women I date have children in the

range of 11 to 15 years old.”

At that point, again emphasizing our age difference I should

have left…

But, I am kind of stubborn! I said, “This past summer I dated

a 46 year old man for about 6-8 weeks and we didn’t part due

to my being a grandmother. I enjoyed our trip to Cleveland

and we watched the Indians play.”

He did not pursue the subject. He did say that he had tickets

for the Blue Jackets that night.

I mentioned that I used to love watching the BGSU hockey team

play and had taken in a few Blue Jackets’ games.

When he was looking at me again, he said, “I wonder if we have

met.”

I told him I have that “girl next door” look, that I have been

blessed with a few complimentary comparisons to Marlo Thomas

and Sally Fields.

He asked me, “Who is Marlo Thomas?”

I answered, “She was the star in a television show called, “That

Girl.”

He shook his head, ‘no.’

I said, “She is Danny Thomas’ daughter and has been carrying on

in his support for the St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital charity.”

He looked at me askance, like I was talking a foreign language!

I looked at him and my last two feeble identifying questions were:

“Do you know who Phil Donahue is? She has been married to him for

years!”

Head shaking ‘no’ again.

“I don’t suppose you have heard of ‘Free to Be Me’ a musical that

has several different freedom of choices in it. It was made for

children and there is a fairy tale where the princess wants to

choose her husband, instead of one that kisses her, or wins her

hand in marriage from the King.”

I smiled and said, “Oh well! My sister in law jokes around that

my brother was in junior high school when she was married and

having children.”

He did not smile back.

I told him I liked to blog, that filled up a lot of my thinking

processes while at my basic, manual labor job. He told me this,

I hope you get to this terrible comment, my dear fellow blogging

friends,

“Bloggers are twits and idiots.”

I looked at him, telling him that I write on wordpress.com.

He shrugged and did not retract the insults.

I said, “I have a byline that says, “Relationships reveal our Hearts.”

He did go into a few political areas of why he dislikes bloggers.

He added about the ones who ‘disagree’ with his politics, are

particularly ‘big mouthed’ and ‘not very informed before they

write just about anything.’

I did not try to tell him about the humor, essence of humanity,

creative forces that write posts or the friends I have made

through my blogging community.

I stood up and closed with my one of my final thoughts to get

us separating our paths,

“Well, you mentioned at least one good thing will come of having

to meet me at Polaris, you have a gift card from Brooks Brothers,

and you will find that across the street at the Mall.”

He said, “Nice to meet you,” and shook my hand.

As one of the first words I had said while asking him to meet me

for a cup of coffee settled into my mind and I walked towards my

car,

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

The latter part, unfortunately was true of my time and energy.

“Raise Your Glasses…”

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I am thinking that you may already know that this Thursday is the 80th

celebration of the repeal of the Prohibition Law, or the 18th Amendment.

On Dec. 5th, 1933, the law which banned alcohol sales in the U.S. was

repealed, or the 21st Amendment to the Constitution took effect.

Most of us don’t need an excuse to have a little party in this honor! I found

a few interesting places in Cleveland, Ohio, that are going to go “all out”

with their remembrances of the ‘speakeasies.’

I did not know that during Prohibition, since there was a lot of homemade

and “bad” alcohol being served, that the drinks were made with fruit juices

to cover up the flavor! We consider this sometimes a way to enjoy our drinks

without too much alcohol flavor coming through. But the origins of some of

the drinks, like Manhatten’s and Old Fashioned’s is attributed to this era.

Another reason why we may add soda or pop to our drinks may be due

to our having a ‘sweet tooth.’ Some people during this prohibition era,

would order a soda and the bartender would “slip in alcohol.”

Not to be confused with the expression, “slipping one a mickey.” This

predates the Prohibition, by thirty years. It is credited for being around

in 1903, when a man named Mickey Finn, a bar owner in Chicago, Illinois,

allegedly gave his customers drinks in his bar, laced with barbituates.

This  drugging patrons would allow the staff to rob them.  Also, not to be

confused or mixed up with “date rape” drugs, which came years later.

There’s an entirely different purpose to that drug being added to alcohol,

as you know, unfortunately from actual news reports and incidents.

We had bottled Canadian whiskey smuggled into Ohio, one article recalled.

I learned some of my facts from the column, “After Dark,” in the

Cleveland Plain Dealer mentioned. Canadian whiskey was easier to get a

hold of if you had the money to pay for the importation of it. It was also

considered more reliable than “moonshine” or the other homemade

liquors circulated during this period when factories were not allowed to

produce liquor legally.

The Society Lounge is ‘turning back the clock to the classic cocktail era.’

They already started tonight with their special drinks list that boasts of 48

exciting mixes, including names of drinks ranging from Moscow Mule,

Mai Tai, Dark and Stormy to Singapore Sling. I remember working in the

seventies at a place in Westlake, Ohio called Lord Nelson’s serving drinks

that had those wild names attached. On Thursday, this lounge is having a

“private soiree.” All week, excluding Thursday, they will have complimentary

appetizers. Too bad, I worked in Delaware, Ohio today and am now 2 and 1/2

hours away from “Happy Hour” at the Society Lounge! Both Thursday and

Friday, including the “private party” will have live bands to entertain the

special guests.

A place that has been around since 1893, opened by an Otto F. Moser, is

called the Wonder Bar. It is especially appropriate to have a “Repeal Day”

celebration there. It stayed open during the Prohibition time, with the ‘back

door’ policy going on, I imagine. (Or ‘under the table pay-offs’ to the cops!)

There is a long, 40 foot beautiful and classy wooden bar with great vintage

design and woodwork shown. All those classic cocktails will be featured at

this ‘gin joint’ that has been around the block a few times (or over a hundred!)

Now I know why they came up with those strange concoctions! I always

wondered about the creative names, too.

The 21st Amendment was the one that “fixed” up and got the party started

so traveling over to the Prosperity Social Club would be a good direction to

go since it opened only five years after the repeal, in 1938. The “Prohibition

Repeal Party,” as this place is calling their Thursday night occasion, is going

to feature The Hollywood Slim Band. It will include performances of songs

during the 30’s through the 40’s. They will be serving up plenty of those

fancy, flavored drinks along with the era’s food dishes, too.

Speakeasy, is a destination spot to find the owner, Sam McNulty with his

staff and the bartender wearing period clothes along with pre-Prohibition

customers recommended attending in appropriate attire. This place will

have a jazz band playing tunes, ‘to boot.’

Not too far from my Mom’s apartment in Westlake, Ohio, the bootleggers

had a heyday with delivering booze behind the White Oaks, in the woods.

This is a place that has been around since 1928. We used to consider this

a special occasion to eat out there, with the white tablecloths, napkins

and fresh flowers on the tables. White Oaks was ‘too expensive’ for our

family, except once annually.

We may have made an exception, going out for a drink would have been

something nice to do this Thursday. Going somewhere that holds a few

memories of the dining room ambiance and the delicious, melt in your

mouth yeast rolls, too. The photograph of Elliot Ness over the bar would be

a great sight to see, since I had never known about him, in the “olden” days

while eating with my parents. I would not have recognized him then.

I am not even sure my parents knew about the woods and the illicit

activities associated with Prohibition at the White Oaks.

I will have to ask, next time I am up there, in that “neck of the woods!”

I cannot write a post about alcohol without giving these two warnings.

Don’t drink and drive. (Call a taxi, please!)

Drink responsibly.

The song, “Raise Your Glass” is not one of the thirties or forties, but a

current song, sung by the woman named “Pink.” If you get to partying,

after you have listened to some “oldies,” I suggest you check this song out!