Category Archives: “bad” love

Questioning My Heartbreak

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The post today would have been on something else.

It would have been articulate and worthy of reading.

It would have been on subjects esoteric or philosophical.

I set the previous subject on the ‘back burner of my mind.’

This is such an ancient topic,

old as the people who first

walked the Earth.

 

Heartbreak.

 

Why, oh why did you have to call?

 

I was so deep in slumber and in a good place.

I have tried to block you from my mind.

When I thought I was so ‘over’ you,

I ‘unblocked’ your cell phone number.

 

Why did I do this?

Because, I would want to know. . .

If something bad happened to you.

 

Do you remember the poem

I had written where I talked

about I would rather do this

or that; than be with you?

 

Could you laugh

as I mentioned

I would rather

be in a cage

with monkeys?

 

Did you get the least bit

teary eyed when you

realized I was serious?

 

Just when my Life is on course.

You know how to turn my heart

topsy-turvy, my world upside down.

 

No, I am not involved with anyone.

But, how dare you think it is okay

to call so early in the

morning!

 

Isn’t it at all possible,

for you to imagine,

I may have

someone

special by now,

sleeping beside me?

 

Isn’t it possible,

that I may have

danced the night away

and needed to sleep

some more?

 

Couldn’t it be,

am out of the country,

with my long lost

soul mate,

on a wonderful

cruise?

 

Traveling

far off countries

mentioned

in my hopes

for us?

 

Might I have not wanted

to stay in my dream land,

content to have warmth

and positive thoughts

to greet my day?

 

Every old love lost

and heartbreak song

was written by someone

who had hopes dashed.

 

I don’t want to have you

lingering on my mind.

 

When I am in a good place,

secure and confident

I will somehow have

a partner to share

our lives together.

 

Tried it a few times,

not desperate yet.

 

Even if she were dead,

you chose to go back

to an ex-girlfriend.

 

Didn’t your family,

my family,

and

I

try to tell you how we fit together?

Better than ‘two peas in a pod?”

 

You may regret,

Never listened.

Never again,

I won’t regret.

 

So, Go!

Please- – Go!

 

Stay out of my phone,

my mind

and

my dreams.

 

I am not channeling Adele or Taylor Swift’s rants.

This is my non-poetic prose. Just trying to let it go.

Trying to keep on my happy path. Shining light on

and soon to be sharing the “Cinderella” story with

my “M & M” granddaughters, ages 4 and 6. Hope

they will not be counting on a fairy tale, but better

yet:  A real and everlasting love. Like my parents

had and my grandparents had. This is my wish.

~Robin Elizabeth Oldrieve Cochran, 3/14/15.

 

P.S. I did not answer his phone call. I deleted his

message. He is not dead; nor in the hospital.

Enough to let me be content.

 

What is your favorite heartbreak song?

I love Neil Diamond’s, “Solitary Man.”

Tear-jerkers: Memorable plus Meaningful

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While discussing my recent movie reviews that were less than favorable, my friends

were suggesting I make a list of memorable and meaningful movies I would still

recommend despite sad, unusual or discouraging endings. This will help you to get

a better idea of my movie entertainment tastes and interests. Hopefully, this will

also spur some additions or explorations into movies you have not yet experienced.

 

I think that I may have overdone my expressing ‘dislike’ for “Gone Girl.” In the past,

while a younger and more adventurous woman, I may have hung on tightly to the

‘roller coaster ride’ of this fine, well-received movie. After all,  Jack Nicholson was

hugely entertaining in the suspenseful thriller movie, “The Shining.” Rosamunde

Pike was chilling in her portrayal of Amy, in “Gone Girl.” Reminds me how I did

enjoy Glenn Close’s psychotic character in 1987’s “Fatal Attraction.”

 

Lastly,  I hope to shed some light on the subject of movies, for ‘drop-in’s’ or new

visitors to my posts, who may think I am all sunshine and happy endings only!

 

Here is my List of Favorite Movies which are varied in subject matter, ‘genres’

and widely spaced in their production and release dates. They include ‘gooey’

love stories, star-crossed lovers,  along with ‘gory’ and intriguing plot lines.

 

1. “Deliverance,” a fine movie which featured great performances from both Ned

Beatty and Burt Reynolds. It was not pleasant, but it was informative and held my

interest throughout this feature. I am sure it won awards, too.

 

2. “Dr. Zhivago,” which probably did win an award for best song, “Lara’s Theme.”

If you loved this one, it may have been because you cherished the book, too. Julie

Christie was gorgeous, the scenery was captivating and I could not take my eyes off

of Omar Sharif. The historical element and the details were perfect, along with the

war-torn, epic love story.

 

3. “Diary of Anne Frank.” (No need to explain why this movie was significant. Along

with many of my mother’s friends thinking they chose exactly who should play this

role and Millie Perkins did an excellent job in the 1959 classic. The 2009 mini-series,

for television was a good one, to help bring awareness to another generation.)

 

4. “Casablanca,” made me fall in love with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman.

This iconic love story included historical features and another war story.

“Play It Again, Sam,” although a friend informed me, it never was included in the

movie. It is implied by both the main characters asking for him to play  the song,

“As Time Goes By,” more than once. It became a common expression, most young

people even know where it (sort of) comes from…along with Woody Allen using it

later,  in his film title.

 

5. “Flowers in the Attic,” recently remade, done well for television. This is an example

of a fascinating, dark subject, including incestuous behavior. It was a great book with

a well written script. Louise Fletcher, who did an outstanding performance in this

movie, also portrayed Nurse Ratched in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

 

6. “Love Story,” which brought my Dad and me together, reading it, first in the Reader’s

Condensed Version, which came to our house. Then, he went right out and bought the

full  hard book version. Our whole family went to see the movie, knowing we would need

tissues, enjoying Ali McGraw and Ryan O’Neal, in their roles.  “Not a dry eye in the (movie

theater) house.”

 

7. “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” which I jokingly say is to blame for my vastly

inappropriate husbands. Paul Newman and Robert Redford played the bank robbers, who

up until the very end, did not use guns to hurt people. The last freeze-frame of the partners,

coming out of their hiding place, to the Mexicans shooting their guns, is unforgettable. I

also, surprised my parents, by taking our Encyclopedia Brittanica out when we got home,

finding the “Hole in the Wall Gang” article there. They had thought it was a fictional story,

and later, proud of the efforts of both Paul Newman and Robert Redford’s philanthropic

projects: “Newman’s Own” foods (sauces, dressings and other products) and “The Hole in

the Wall” children’s ranch for those disadvantaged kids, other benefits like scholarships

available.

 

8. “Saving Private Ryan,” which is another sad story but it is more realistic than most

war stories. I point this out due to my brothers and others who enjoyed John Wayne’s

versions of war while growing up. The Viet Nam movies, such as “Apocalypse Now”

and “Born on the Fourth of July,” include violence, drugs, Agent Orange and some

powerful, memorable characters.

 

9. “Brian’s Song,” which won a few awards, I am sure. Brian Piccolo, along with

his best friend made sports and cancer a household subject to talk about. If it could

happen to a young, vital athlete, it could happen to . . . anyone.

 

10. “Flowers for Algernon,” which had the futuristic subject of how drugs could

potentially raise a person’s I.Q.  If you never saw this one, it is very well done. This

makes you appreciate the way science fiction can be gently inserted into a movie,

without being overdone. Matthew Modine plays the man with retardation, in the

newer 2000 version,  Cliff Robertson was the fine actor to watch in,  “Charly.”

Both were based on the short story, “Flowers for Algernon.”

 

11. “Clockwork Orange,” which was a book I was required to read in high school. Our

class went to see the movie together. It is not everyone’s “cup of tea,” but it was a break-

through movie with fantastic performances by a young Malcolm McDowell and directing

by Stanley Kubrick.  Anthony Burgess’ science fiction book was disturbing, but has

significance and meaning. Visualizing the book did not match how powerful the film was.

Our classhad great discussions after viewing this, about what personal rights criminals,

particularly juveniles, deserve. Where the boundary of “Big Brother,” (government and

courts) also begins and ends.

 

12. “Romeo and Juliet, ” which broke the ground rules of lack of male nudity prior to

this movie in the 70’s. I think you may know why anyone would like all versions of

this movie, since it is considered ‘classical’ to love Shakespeare.

 

13. “West Side Story,” with the Hispanics and Caucasians fighting over their areas

of the city or ‘turfs’ among rival gangs. A beautiful love story, with music and great

choreography. The movie’s ending could disappoint you, if you did not know it was

based on #12’s book and movie themes.

 

14. “Out of Africa,” which was absorbingly written by Isak Dinesen. It has Robert

Redford, Meryl Streep, many British actors and the scenery is outstanding. What a

magnificent love story!  The ending made my Mom and me weep in July, while we

watched this for our ‘umpteenth’ time. What I could not get over, this recent viewing,

was how young the two leading actors were, when they made this movie.

 

15. “White Fang,” other Jack London stories, have the naturalistic side of ‘survival of the

fittest,’ along with beautiful Alaskan and other frontiers featured. The 1991 movie, with

Ethan Hawke was ‘panned,’ by critics, given the “Rotten Tomato” award.

 

16. “Dallas Buyers Club,” AIDS and Matthew McConahey, along with the wonderful

supporting actors and actresses, made this a rich, intelligent, humor-sprinkled movie

about a serious subject. I liked Jared Leto’s sympathetic portrayal of a transvestite.

 

17. “Philadelphia,” with Tom Hanks. Need I say more? Fantastic movie, need your

tissues but I watched it again recently, it still ‘holds up’ to the test of time, my gauge

or ‘thermometer.’ Wide variety of actors, along with exploring our fears of HIV and

Aids in a movie. Bruce Springsteen’s song, “Philadelphia,” is hauntingly beautiful.

 

18. “Fargo,” the Coen brothers have done funnier, (“Raising Arizona” with Holly

Hunter and Nicholas Cage) but this one is the ONE that hangs in my mind, lingering.

If you were to compare it to anything else, in the way of ‘thrillers’ they would ‘pale.’

Great writing skills! Frances McDormand is excellent in capturing the Minnesota

accent and delivering a pregnant police woman realistic, classic  lines. William H.

Macy and Steven Buscemi are outstanding in their quirky parts.

 

19. “Steel Magnolias” had Julia Roberts dying. What else do you need to know? Many

famous actresses, including Dolly Parton, Sally Fields, and Shirley Maclaine bring

the comic relief. Good support from the male actors in this movie, also.

 

20. “Terms of Endearment,” with Shirley Maclaine, Jack Nicholson. Debra Winger

is dying. The family dynamics and the careful writing is a good combination, realistic

and gritty at times. Jeff Daniels plays the husband, who is not likable, a switch from

his typical roles.

 

I did not add a lot of old, classic and Iconic movies, since I know there are much better

critics of these, so please share… (like “The Count of Monte Cristo” or “In the Name of

the Rose.”)

 

What melodramatic movies do you enjoy, despite not always being popular with the

critics?

How do you like to escape into movies? Through romance, drama, action or historical

fiction or ??

Carry On

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Isn’t it marvelous when a burden is lifted from your

shoulders? When you know that everything is finally

going to be all right. I have three grown children who

when they are ‘down’ or have worries, I feel some of

that empathetic worry, myself.

On my way to work, I heard the band, Kansas, singing a

song straight to my heart. It was such an appropriate

song for this first day of freedom from worry for one

of my loved ones! This progressive rock band’s single,

an oldie but goodie, begins like this:

“Carry on, my wayward son,

There’ll be peace when you are done.

Lay your weary head to rest,

Don’t you cry no more.”

(Written by Kerry Livgren, 1976.)

One of my children no longer has to feel like there

isn’t closure in a personal situation. I am so happy that

I will be walking around, sighing in relief, possibly this

could have been noticeable to others, had they been working

in my area today.

I wanted to write a poem expressing this wondrous feeling

of joy and weightlessness, floating around the atmosphere…

but I just couldn’t write poetry today.

Instead I thought of a list, one that would have life’s

irritations and burdens included. Where you, as readers,

may choose one that really had an impact on your life.

A time when it was very challenging to put one foot

before the other one, making moving forward an almost

impossible task.

Here are a few feelings you may relate to, have had

experiences with and have made it through to “the

other side.”

Unfinished business.

Disappointments.

Life’s Abrupt Changes.

Long-Distant Move.

Major Transition.

Debilitating Illness or Disease.

Unresolved Issues.

Disaster.

Death of Loved One(s.)

Death of Friend(s).

Death of a Beloved Pet.

A Series of Uncontrollable Events.

Divorce.

Fire.

Break up/ heart break.

Piles of bills and debt.

Suicide Attempt.

Anorexia/Bulimia.

Alcoholism.

Addiction.

Troubles.

In my family member’s case, something had been left

opened for years, festering, lasting longer than it

deserved to. It had a ‘hold’ on my loved one, who was

dwelling on it and not really enjoying life as much as

they should have been. Closure was reached last night!

Hurray! Yippee!

The more recent American indie band, Fun, put out a great

lively song called, “Carry On,” (2012). The lyrics were

written by a combination of the band members and producer.

Nate Reuss, Andrew Dost, Jack Antonoff and Jeff Bhosker.

Another song with the name of “Carry On,” performed by

the legendary band of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, was

written in 1991,by Stephen Stills. It is meaningfully

written about relationships.

Although the Disney movie, “Frozen,” won for the song,

“Let It Go,” I chose this song because my grandkids love

to belt it out, both boys and girls alike! It gets very

grand at one point, where you need to raise your voice!

This can be very exhilarating and liberating. This helps

to remove any cobwebs that are caught in your mind. It

could raise your spirits considerably. The power in the

words of this song, can alleviate some of your pain and

heartache.

I think the act of singing, while driving down the road,

particularly, can make you feel ‘free’ of sadness.

“Let It Go,” was written by the husband and wife team of

Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez, sung by Idina

Menzel. There also is a Demi Lovato cover of the same

song.

In conclusion, music lifts our spirits. Other things

can be chosen depending on your individual tastes and

interests to help release the ‘angst.’

Some very serious problems can not be handled simply by

engaging in walks in parks. That is something for me that

helps me unwind and think. I like to see nature and its

wonder, and sometimes it relieves my temporary depression

by knowing I am but a small part of a greater world.

Meditation can remove the rocks in the way on your journey

through life. Seeking counseling can help you to have a

neutral party to listen, absorb your pains and anger, then

help by gently guiding you to a safer, saner existence.

When was the time you felt heavy in spirit, dragged down so

low it was hard to be motivated to do daily chore? Do you

mind sharing it? If not, please share techniques that helped

you and this will encourage someone, maybe even today, to

be able to…

“Carry on.”

The Opposite of Romance

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There were Saturday afternoon movies on television where

the brothers got to take a turn choosing the movie. Which

meant; it must be winter! Then, while they were outside

gallivanting in the Spring or Fall, I sometimes wanted to

get ‘lost’ in a movie and dream’ a little.

One of my favorite ‘escape’ movies was called, “Tammy and

the Bachelor,” starring Debbie Reynolds. She played a 17

year old girl, living barefoot along a Mississippi swamp

with her Grandpa, played by Walter Brennan. Along comes a

city ‘folk’ handsome man named, Leslie Nielson. You can

just guess what transpires!

There are four ‘Tammy’ movies, if you wish to indulge in

plots that resemble cotton candy spun into tales of love

and romance. I adored these, along with the old black and

white “Thin Man” movies. These were about a wealthy

married couple but enjoyed playing detectives. Myrna Loy

plays a rather ‘spunky’ wife, with William Powell as her

debonair husband. This comedy-romance movie spun off

into quite a collection of films.

Today’s post could not be written on Tuesday or Wednesday,

since I really had a debate with myself. I was unsure

what you would consider about my thoughts about the recent

debacle on a silly show called, “The Bachelor.”

I mean this week is “Brain Awareness Week” and what am I

doing writing about a show that most probably consider

‘mindless drivel?’ Pretty ironic!

I would be remiss if I didn’t say that I had watched the

Bachelor show, observing dating in its most unnatural

habitat. How could I have a witless dating after fifty

blog and not have some comments to ‘weigh in with?’

Although the ancient, and almost extinct, patterns

depicted in this season’s show were amusing, they also

had some alarming warnings.

The Bachelor, Juan Pablo, has become fairly infamous

in the past two days. Besides there were many people

who had purposely watched the season. I can only

imagine women cringing behind their pillows, gritting

their teeth every time he said such surface-oriented

compliments.

On the show, I noticed there were few women who even

noticed his very shallow dialogue and subject matters

in their conversations. Almost all seemed to get big

grins on their faces, while we watched him ingratiate

himself with such comments as,

“You are so sexy!’

“You are the most beautiful woman.”

“You look pretty today.”

or, using his Spanish, “Ay, ay, ay!” (Meaning ‘Oh, my!’)

It happened to be the Final Rose Ceremony and the

episode that usually ends with a marriage proposal.

Lots of current hype about the show, the shocked

silence in the studio audience. The stunned host,

even, shaking his head.

Either you caught the different wild stories on

the entertainment news or you may have already

seen a cover story about Juan Pablo. He pocketed

the diamond ring that he had us all focus in on

while he chose this with the Lane Jewelry man

who makes his periodic appearance, when the final

show is approaching.

When Juan is about to tell Claire, one of the two

final women left on the show, that she is not his

heart’s desire, she figures it out. She had already

insinuated that he had made a major rude ‘under the

radar,’ (possibly crude) statement to her on their

‘island date.’ As they were disembarking from the

plane, while no microphones would pick up his not

so nice comment, which threw Claire through a loop.

She made a big deal about that she had expected a

different kind of ‘sweet nothing’ whispered in her

ear. We can just imagine.. He was, according to Claire,

‘crude.’

On their final night together, Juan had persuaded

Claire to soften her heart. He was giving promises and

espousing future plans of their having babies together

and raising his daughter, Camilla. She had decided she

loved him, would ‘forgive’ his faux pas and was ready

to get engaged to him.

I think, after all these years, I had a sick to my

stomach feeling. A deja vu moment. I saw myself, talking

myself into accepting what most, including my parents,

would consider ‘unacceptable behavior.’ This happened to

me!

I felt compelled to write this, thinking that it may

save one person from this foolish mistake. To cover

a television show that I do feel within the realm of

my interests and studying dating patterns. Little did

I realize the ‘reality show’ would open up my memories

of a bad situation.

When Juan did not ask Claire, but told her that she

was not the one he loved, she let him have it. That

she would not take a hug, she put her arms out and

with a firm (and not bitchy voice) said that she would

not want to marry him nor wish to have any children

with him. She felt sorry for the one who would be

part of his future life. (This is the gist of Claire’s

final ‘stand,’ I am sure there are videos of this

episode, if you wish to get the juicy details.)

So, the final night with the second girl did not

go too smoothly either. Nikki had written Juan a

very heartfelt letter, professing her love for him.

She had already told him once before and she also

(like Claire) had been one of three girls to take

Juan ‘home with them.’

Nikki is saddened that Juan does not say any sort of

answer to her thoughts, her question being, ‘Do you

love me?’ This final night, she cries because she

is unsure of his answer.

Unless you have been living under a rock, or hate this

sort of thing, (hopefully you stopped reading awhile ago.)

Nikki was not given a ring nor asked to get married, by

Juan. Nikki, again, tells Juan she loves him and has

enjoyed every moment together…

Juan tells her he is not going to ask her to marry him

until he ‘is very sure’ or that he is ‘100% sure.’

Then when she has poured her heart out once again, Juan

says these words:

“I like you a lot.”

Seriously!

One smart man, Sean, who chose a great partner, in

Katherine (or Catherine) is in the studio audience

watching along with two other couples and a full

room. Three couples have followed the procedures,

kept the pattern or formula of finding their partners

and gotten married.

Sean says a wise statement,

“Isn’t this like biting the hand that feeds you?”

He is astounded that even on the “After the Final Rose

Ceremony,” Juan is not able to say he loves Nikki nor

if or when they will get married.

Lots of red flags have gone off, in my own head, during

the course of this particular Bachelor’s season. Juan is

able to kiss and do more with some, but says to others,

“Out of respect for my daughter, I will not kiss all the

women.”

He chose to go out into the ocean with Claire, where it

looks in the moonlight, like they are making out. Possibly

more.

The next day, Juan gave HER a lecture about disrespecting

his daughter, making her feel bad that she had ‘enticed him

into there.’ Presumably, they did more together that night

than he had planned. She was half of the equation and yet,

he doesn’t say he is sorry. No, he places the blame on her!

If I were a pediatric nurse, as Nikki is, I would have

used my mind and my intuition to pack my bags really

early on. Looking back at the season’s shows, maybe she

still will walk out.

Here are my quick words about the girls that stayed,

once Juan’s behaviors became questionable:

Have you been brainwashed?

Have you not been out on a date for quite awhile?

Are you desperate?

Did you get ‘caught up in the moment’ and possibly

got into a competitive spirit… which explains why

you didn’t care that Juan is not the ‘brightest

bulb on the Christmas tree?’

Have you ever heard of Stockholm syndrome? Were you

held against your will?

This season’s Bachelor show did not do well in the

producer’s choice in a man to follow the guidelines.

The parents, during the family ‘hometown visit’ had

been saying that Juan doesn’t always know who to

choose, is immature and also, that he is egotistical.

I see Juan trying to come off as nice and easygoing,

while showing a lot of control and forethought into

his actions.

During commercials the week before this Final Rose

Ceremony program, they called this, “The Most

Controversial Bachelor Show Ever!”

I would call it the show that held women back in time,

to when they were not able to make their own choices.

It was a ‘throw back’ to the giddy, but sweet, movies,

like “Tammy and the Bachelor.”

Too bad it did not have the lovely innocence or

sentimentality needed in a truly romantic show.

Losing Oneself

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These words make me pensive.

They make me delve deeper into myself.

There are many ways to interpret them:

Losing oneself…

in writing,

in one’s work,

in another’s arms,

in daydreams,

in tasks,

in crafts,

in creating,

in music,

in art,

in church,

in Nature,

in a Higher Being,

God/Buddha/Allah…

in a book,

on your path in life,

in space and time,

on the waters, drifting…

in addictions,

gambling,

drinking,

drugs,

food,

shopping,

losing your mind,

in depression,

and in countless ways.

It is important not to ‘lose yourself.’

It is meaningful to go~ beyond yourself.

It makes a stronger relationship, if

you are you, and they are they.

Don’t go off the deep end, please!

I’d place my ‘bet’ on you being a

winner, in whatever ways you choose

to contribute to this world.

Take comfort, reach out if you need

a shoulder to lean on.

Three songs that cheer me up when I am

thinking of sad times,

1. “Go Your Own Way” by Lindsey Buckingham,

Fleetwood Mac album, “Rumours,” released

in 1977.

2. “I’ll Be There,” sung by the Jackson Five,

featuring Michael Jackson. This song was

written by a team known as the Corporation,

including Berry Gordy, Bob West, Hal Davis

and Willie Hutch. This was their third album,

released in 1970.

3. “With a Little Help From My Friends,”

(Written for “The Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely

Hearts Club Band” album with Ringo as

the singer, in the character of “Billy

Shears.”) Released in 1967. Joe Cocker

sang this at Woodstock in 1969. Someone

at work had thought Joe wrote it, but it

was written as a collaboration between

Paul McCartney and John Lennon. Oh, and

I had to look up this fact, now you know

too that the Beatles came BEFORE the

legendary Woodstock!)

Try not to lose yourself in a negative

way and keep your chin up,.

I hope, mainly, you will find yourself.

Here in the colder part of the country,

I feel for the even more frigid areas,

those up North and East of us!

“Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall”

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I have had what seems like “lifelong friends,” that have

known me at my ‘worst,’ and cheered me on at my ‘best!’

I would love to hear about your friendships that have

endured time, travel, moving away from each other and

other trials and tribulations.

Thirty years ago, plus some ‘change,’ (1980), I went to

my first Welcome Wagon meeting. I had moved to Lancaster,

Ohio and had to turn down a continuing teaching position.

My ex-husband ‘couldn’t find a good job in Toledo area’

and had been working as a bartender through my subbing

and then, getting a wonderful and ‘perfect’ position.

His lateness, although irritating, never had bothered

me too much, until the birth of our daughter in March,

1980. I had ‘complained’ to my grandfather, who set

my ex up with a trip to Texas to interview for Armco

Steel Co. My grandfather had been an engineer and

written a worker’s manual for the company many years

prior to this time. He was concerned, as was I, of

the impact of drinking in my first husband’s life

upon a family. Anyway, Dave got the job for National

Supply, located in Logan, Ohio and it was apparent

to him, as he drove through Lancaster on his way

there and back, that we would be most happy in a

larger town than Logan. I ended up subbing there

and Rockmill, too. Little towns were fun to visit

and substitute in, but no, we were ‘city people.’

(He was from Cincinnati, I was from Cleveland, as

you know, met at college on the first day of school.)

Once we relocated to Lancaster, I read the Lancaster

Eagle Gazette’s headlines, “60 Teachers Laid Off.”

Oh no! I ended up choosing to advertise to babysit

other people’s children, also finding someone in

our townhouse area who would sporadically have me

watch her daughter, too.

I desperately needed an ‘excuse’ to make friends

and get out of the house! When I entered Welcome

Wagon, this will come across strangely, but I saw

Nancy from a distance. She was blonde, big blue

eyes and had this open looking face. When I approached

her, she beamed with the prettiest smile. I know, this

sounds like two future ‘lovers’ rather than the best

friends we became. We exchanged phone numbers and

within a week or two, we had our first coffee girls’

night out ‘date.’ We met at Frisch’s, two quite

different people, actually, at the time. I was a new

mother of a six month old, she was a working girl

and a computer ‘whiz.’ We chatted about Akron where

she was from, family and why we both needed to have

friends.

I had chosen to start going to the Presbyterian Church,

was inquiring if she would like to go. Interestingly

enough, she is the frequent church goer in that same

town, while I was great as a wife and mother, then

later, even better as a single mother of three, she

and her husband (now ex) were not interested in

attending. Her present husband is wonderful and they

have a lovely home, his daughter, fully grown and

her husband and their granddaughter, Giada.

What kept us going through all those years? We had

become leaders in the organization, I was President

and Nancy was Treasurer. (Or were you Vice Pres.?)

Anyway, we had card club gatherings and progressive

dinners, but always we had our Wednesday nights out

at Frisch’s. It was so nice to hear about her busy

life, and she welcomed comments about my daughter.

We shared the humdrum of our lives, each fascinated

by the other’s plight in life.

When she and her husband got divorced, I begged her

to stay in the business where she was in the computer

data field.She stayed and not too many months after

her divorce, her second husband, also working in that

field, asked her out and they became a couple, then

husband and wife. She and her second husband came to

my second child’s birth, hours later, at the hospital.

They also, attended my second marriage and saw my third

child, shortly after she was born.

There was a card I once saw, that had a mobster on the

front, it had a caption inside that said something like

this:

“You and me… we have to stay friends forever!

You know too much!”

That is how our Nancy and Robin days have been, there are

too many special occasions, memories shared, with

Nancy and Mike coming to Delaware to see graduations

and my son’s wedding…

What is most unbelievable, to both of us, plus others

who hear of our friendship, is that we have not lived

in the same town since 1986! We travel over an hour,

each way, to meet at the halfway point. You may have

read in a before Christmas post, that we used to meet

at a halfway Bob Evans, then one windy, snowing morning

early December, we drove into the Bob Evans’ driveway, up

to a chain that blocked entering, and I suggested going

back across the bridge over 270 and go to a Frisch’s.

Then, one June (we like to meet halfway through the

year), we drove up to the Frisch’s restaurant and

alas, it was closed! It has been about four years, 8

trips later, that we have been meeting at a Tee Jayes.

It is very nice and we have non-stop, ‘catch up’ talks

that make us seem very hyperactive, bringing bags of

books in the summer and gifts to exchange in our

“First Christmas” of the year time. We both exclaim,

“The Christmas Season cannot begin until we see each

other!”

My friend, Patrice, has been a longtime friend, she

and I were living in Batchelder Quadrangle, at BGSU

when we met. I have mentioned meeting her this past

summer, we had not seen each other more than three

times since she and I were at my first Wedding and

she was my Maid of Honor. We use our cell phones to

keep in touch and we have had two great visits, one

up in Charlevoix, MI and one in Lakewood, Ohio, where

Patrice grew up and I drove to meet her at her male

friend’s apartment. She stays, as a guest, in the

suite, not with her male friend from BGSU.

All of this trio of friends, has something unique

and permanent in their ‘true blue’ natures. I am

sure I must return something that is also rare and

special, for they have put up with me for all these

years! They are tied in First Place for Best Friends

of Robin!

My local “best” friend, I think, has to be considered

the one I get to see weekly. When we go more than a

week without seeing each other, we hug and exclaim,

“It seems like forever since I saw you!” We have that

kind of strong bond, that just happened over time.

When we first became friends, we met at an American

Association of University Women picnic at Mingo Park.

Believe it or not, I was supposed to be greeting

newcomers. (I am being facetious, since this is my

favorite role of all time! I was Miss Congeniality

in high school and never stopped that habit of

chatting and getting to know the ‘new face’ in

the room!

I did approach her, with a special smile on my face!

I know this is crazy, especially twice in my life, but

I just knew that Jenny would be a great friend! She

had short, attractive blonde hair and blue eyes. Isn’t

that weird that my Lancaster friend and my Delaware

friend look similar? Well, they also have fantastic

husbands, so I have seated them together at Jamie and

Trista’s wedding, at Felicia’s high school and college

graduation and Carrie’s high school graduation, too!

It is like a miracle that they have ‘stayed with me’

through my more than second time around marriages. They

have stopped and stayed forever and a day with their

second and best choices for husbands. While I just

sojourned on, with the third one and divorced again!

The card that makes me cry when I open it, is the one Jenny

gave me for my 58th birthday last Autumn. It has a notebook

lined-paper look, with a light mint green on the front. I

did not bring it to the library but the essence of this

awesome and unforgettable card says this:

“You were not with me in elementary school to play out on

recess. You were not my best friend when I was in high

school, so we couldn’t pass notes back and forth. You

are my best friend now, you will be my best friend

tomorrow and forever.”

That is a meaningful message for me. I can “count on

her,”

through thick and thin,

and all the Seasons…

“Winter

Spring

Summer

and

Fall…” (James Taylor song)

for the rest of my life!

Brief Ohio News Item

Standard

You may wonder why in the world is Robin writing a brief

Ohio news item? What is so important to break from the

heartwarming posts, stories and special finds to tell us

about a murder?

I wish to warn your family members to be extra cautious

if any should be in the profession of pizza delivery for

extra money. I have had many friends, of many different

ages and backgrounds, needing extra cash, and choosing to

deliver pizzas.

There was a 26 year old woman who may have been abducted

or had someone take her to a woods, there are not a lot of

facts about the reason for killing her, but she died last

night, Thursday December 26th. This was a young, friendly

single mother of two little children, a baby and a toddler.

This occurred in Muskingum County and her body was found in

Dillon State Park. State forensics team was there early this

morning and I am heartbroken, feeling sad for this young

mother who everyone has said, her photographs show a sunny

disposition and pretty girl face.

I hate to say this, but I would never want another woman to

take on this job! I think of endless creepy persons out there

who may choose to do awful things to the person, especially

in more desolate and remote areas.

They arrested her boyfriend as the alleged murderer, he is

“under suspicion.” I know it can happen to anyone, whether or

not they are driving up to stranger persons’ houses, and

like so many people who kill, the suspect is usually someone

you know. But, this story to me emphasized the danger in

this kind of position.

Those two precious children are now without a mother, just

one day after Christmas. It brings all of the other bad

things that happen in your own day, into perspective.

I do have many areas of the United States in my prayers

due to ice storms and other natural disasters. I still

continue to look at the horrible devastation in the

Philippines and keep them, also, in my prayers.

Over Christmas, a group of people in the Philippines, used

odds and ends, found in the rubble, to create a beautiful

Christmas tree. That made me think of how some people will

find the good in almost anything!

Leaving that small nugget to leave you hope…