Category Archives: Bob Newhart

Deer Hunting Story

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Sometimes we just need a reason to laugh out loud. It may not be

intellectual or like Bob Newhart’s dry sense of humor.  It may be a

joke or a comic imitating something or someone. It could be there

really is a monkey loose down in Tampa, Florida. The city’s police

(through 9-1-1 calls) are getting lots of phone calls about the wild

animal. This is on the internet, so it must be ‘true!’

I liked this one which my Mom’s pen pal sent to me. While I was in

the dentist’s office, my hygienist who has been a younger friend of

mine for over five years, told me her current boyfriend of four years

was out hunting for deer. Then, at work this week, Cycle Count Dept.

asked for some volunteers to help out, since half their staff were out

deer hunting. So, this story may bring smiles and is definitely timed

for Ohio’s deer hunting season.

I thought this one was rather clever and had never heard it before.

I told this to my friends at lunch, which after typing this it is easier

to remember the details. They laughed and thought it was ‘cute.’

 

“One night at a local bar, frequented by the local group of deer hunters

in walked the sheriff. The men were waiting for the opening day of Deer

Hunting Season. The sheriff was scoping out the joint for possible drunk

drivers.

 

As he waited, eventually a patron stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for

his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his own.

He got inside and rested his head on the car’s steering wheel. The deputy

knew he had his first drunk driver, among the bunch of deer hunters.

So now all he had to do was wait for him to start his engine and pull out

onto the road.

 

A few hours passed by and most of the other deer hunters had left by then.

When the patron who had been sleeping or resting, while listening to his

radio, lifted his head up. He started the car, drove out of the lot like a ‘bat

out of hell.’ The deputy followed him and put his lights on, using his loud

speaker to say,

“Get out of the car, lean against the side of it, put your hands in the air.”

He immediately skipped the Sobriety Test, he knew this deer hunter’s

alcohol was high, even if he had slept it off a bit.

He administered, the Breath-O-Lizer test and it read “O.OO.”

 

Confused, the sheriff asked the driver,

“What in the world was going on?”

The driver looked at him innocently and responded respectfully,

“Well Sir, tonight I’m the “Designated Decoy.”

(The End)

 

Picture This”

A large tree, bare of leaves, with a “Warning Sign” upon it in

the woods:

“WARNING:

“BAITING DEER IS ILLEGAL

This corn pile is intended for

SQUIRRELS,

CHIPMUNKS

AND

OTHER SUCH ANIMALS.

 

ANY DEER FOUND EATING

THIS CORN

WILL BE SHOT!”

 

Do you have any tall tales from out in the wild or have you

ever gone deer, turkey, squirrel or rabbit hunting?

That last one made me think of Elmer Fudd’s going

‘wabbit hunting,’ (Bugs Bunny).

Sending you smiles. . .