Category Archives: bucket list

Friends Till the End

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I like to find people, discover them, and sometimes everyone already knows

all about them! I hope that I may introduce you to a novelist, plays and short

stories writer, along with being a screen writer named, Bruce Jay Friedman.

Since this will be posted on Wednesday, let me tell you this man will get you

laughing! He is quite a curmudgeon.

Friedman calls himself honestly,

“The Considerably Older Guy.”

His most famous book, selling lots of copies, was called,

“The Lonely Guy’s Book of Life,” (1978).

Friedman was lucky to have been discovered early in his life, by becoming

published at age 23. His first short story appeared in the magazine, “The

New Yorker.” His first novel, “Stern,” came out in 1962.

Here are some of Bruce Jay Friedman’s  ‘takes’ on growing older and trying

to stay friends,

“Until the End.”

1.  “Don’t allow a small disagreement to ruin a friendship.” If you find yourself

disagreeing about politics or something esoteric, like “Kurdish independence,”

don’t come to blows over it! He goes on to tell you to remember your history

together, the good times mainly. “The Kurds will always be there, but a good

friend won’t necessarily.”

2.  “Don’t insist that a friend see you exclusively.” He explains that its a good

thing when people have a variety of friends. Who would think of these lines?

“It’s perfectly acceptable for a friend to have friends of his own. And there

is no need to spy on the friend and hack his phone to find out who he’s

speaking to. It’s not like dating.”

3.  Make your spouse your best friend. He goes on to say that they are able

to understand your hopes and fears. They may enjoy going to places you

like to go to.

His joke he adds to this section is: “But it’s tricky. (being friends) When you’re

ready for sex, she might say: ‘Are you crazy? I thought we were friends.'”

He mentions that your spouse accepts you for who you really are. . .

“But don’t push it, though. Even the closest friends will draw a line at nose an

ear hairs.”

4.  When he mentions people with money and who are in ‘high places,’ he

tells us to “Think twice about having a friend who occupies some high and

influential station. There will always be the feeling that you’re taking up his

precious time.” You already have enough feelings of inadequacy, as you get

older!

5. Instead of being worried about age, having friends who are younger can

be invigorating. He says, “Instead of being jealous of his youth, admire his

vitality. And don’t expect a young friend to remember David Niven. Or even

Eisenhower. Consider yourself lucky if he remembers the first Bush.”

Here are some great suggestions that I would label, ‘warnings!’

6. “Limit contact with a friend who greets you with a yawn and says, ‘It won’t

be long now, right, fella?'”

7. “In matters of friendship, try to steer away from financial matters.” He jokes,

“A friend, no matter how wealthy, might grant you such a loan and then resent

it bitterly for the rest of his days.”

8. (On more money matters) “If you’re pressed to the wall and in desperate

need of a loan, make sure it’s for a substantial figure. Don’t ask for $18 and

blow what might be your one opportunity. (And once you have the loan, don’t

lie awake riddled with guilt, or worse, return the loan immediately, which

defeats the whole purpose.)”

Bruce Jay Friedman gives some parting words on friendship. . .

9. “There is no such thing as a perfect friend.”

10. “Finally, it is of great importance to have at least one friend who is in worse

shape than you are.”

This is the wisdom of the man who wrote the screen play for the Oscar-nominated

movie, “Splash,” with Tom Hanks and Darryl Hannah. I loved the humor, love and

friendly way the love story goes in that sweet movie. His memoir, “Lucky Bruce,”

came out in 2011.

 

 

10 Ways to Stay Young

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I received Mom’s card, that she bought in the downstairs area of her senior living

apartments, at the end of last week. This is called the ‘library’ where you can choose

to borrow, return or give books and pick out greeting cards. There is an ‘honor code,’

where you go to the nearby Front desk to pay for the cards or check out the books.

This card, and its message, really made my day this week!

It was one of those simple ones that talk about friendship. She vacillates between

saying that I am her ‘best friend’ and missing her faithful little dog, Nicki, (her ‘other

best friend.’)

These notes, I realize I have mentioned, hold important feelings that she shares

with me, her only daughter. I am touched with her added embellishments, sincerely

expressed ideas and loving memories of our special ‘girlfriend’ visits and shopping

trips.

She writes to many people, her words are less descriptive and their clarity may not

always be there. Time has taken some of her training in spelling, grammar and English

usage away. But the essence of love shines through to all of her recipients of letters.

Her good friend, Joyce, who will always be known as “Pooky” to those who love her,

wrote her a long typed (on the computer and printed out) letter. In this, she was

supporting my Mom’s asking to be able to have her dog back. Nicki is residing with

my brother and sister in law, with multiple dogs, on a ‘better, healthier’ diet and

regime. Their main concern was that Mom had fallen, so they felt with her new

walker, therapy visits and trying to manage Nicki with the walker may do more

‘harm than good.’  “Pooky” lives in California and I have written her notes to

keep her abreast of my Mom’s current health status, along with over the years,

many holiday cards. She is a good and true, lifelong friend of my Mom’s.

“Pooky” sent a clever list which has some fun, but often expressed, ideas about

growing older, includes positive life lessons and ways to stay young.

On the top of the first page, my Mom had handwritten these sweet words:

“You know all of these, my Robin, but it never hurts to be reminded of them. . .

To my best friend in the world!”

“How to Stay Young

Friend to Friend Advice”

1.  Try everything twice.

On one woman’s grave, the epitaph reads:

“Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!”

2.  Keep only cheerful friends.

The Grouches pull you down.

Keep this in mind, if you are one of those Grouches!

3.  Keep learning.

Don’t stop!

Whatever it is that stimulates your brain cells and keeps

your mind active.

4.  Enjoy the simple things in life.

The little ‘details’ can make you happy.

5.  Laugh often.

Belly laughs, long and loud.

Laugh until you gasp for breath or tears run down your face.

If someone produces this level of joy, spend lots and lots of

time with them.

Be silly!

6.  Sad things and tears happen.

Unfortunately.

Endure, grieve and move on.

The only person who is with us, our entire life, is ourselves.

Live while you are alive.

7.  Surround yourself with whatever you love:

Family, pets, keepsakes, music, art, crafts, plants. . .

Make your home a retreat or refuge.

8.  Cherish your health.

If it is good- preserve it.

If it is unstable- improve it.

If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

You are still here.

9.  Don’t take guilt trips.

Take instead trips down memory lane, to the mall or to a new place.

If you can afford to, travel far and wide. If your health does not permit

this, wander through countries in books or on the Internet.

10.  Tell the people you love that you love them every time you see them.

Every opportunity, try to show your gratitude towards them.

(Author Unknown, some embellishments are my own added to the list.)

So here goes, I am following the ‘rules’ laid out in the life list! I wish to tell you

again, that I appreciate your being part of my life. I think that our community

of fellow bloggers satisfies many things on the examples mentioned. So, in

honor for #s 3, 4, 7 and 10, I am thankful for your enhancing and enriching

my life!

You fill in the gaps in my life, helping me to utilize my brain daily.

We talk, through our posts and replies, about things and share our worlds.

Your thoughts and feelings bring us closer together. Sometimes more than

my friends I spend time with. Maybe it is the safety of being separated by

time and space. Maybe it is due to being sojourners in a world of our own

making.

Fellow bloggers you brings my inner thoughts and respond positively, for that:

I thank you!

Maybe it is the way we bounce off each other, spurring each other to reach out

and connect on a different level than most daily interactions.

To those poets out there, thanks for treating me to your beautiful (sometimes

angry, distressed but always meaningful) words. You have inspired me to try

my hand at writing poetry. It is a different way of writing than I am used to!

To the artists out there, whether using paint, pen and ink, photography or

other creative and artistic ways you lead your life, I appreciate your sharing

this with me. The ‘details’ of life that you give to me, through your art and

music, are limitless!

To the ones who incorporate animals, healing solutions, share your faith and

other ways to connect and feel whole; your posts make me feel good and lead me

to peace in my heart and soul.

Those nature lovers and healthy lifestyle believers, you make me want to be

more interactive in environmental issues and eat more healthier. The cooking

blogs and vegan choices are certainly ones that I copy down suggestions and

feel that I have become more aware of what I am ingesting!

Then those who have traveled or are out there, living in different countries,

letting us know what is happening, Thank you!

It makes the world come together and become a ‘smaller’ place, uniting us in our

common interests:

Wow! The inspiration in the gifts you all share, continue to amaze and challenge

me to be a better ‘me!’

 

 

 

 

 

Look Where They Started…

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In the fifty years since the soap opera, “Another World,” was first

filmed, there have been a half dozen of major actors and actresses

whose acting talents sprang from there. The soap opera began on

May 4, 1964. It remained a popular culture favorite from 1964 until it

filmed its last show in 1999. It had a ‘good run’ of thirty-five years.

I found this interesting entertainment news in my AARP News Bulletin.

I receive this every month, along with the “AARP Magazine.”

I like the way the article phrases this: “A lot of now-famous

stars cut their acting teeth on the show.”

I am not sure if you have ever watched this soap opera, if you did,

these names won’t be quite the same surprise as they were to me! I

was, during my college years, addicted to “The Young and the Restless”

and a short half hour soap opera called, “Ryan’s Hope.” I see a few

of those actors and actresses in Hallmark movies and playing character

roles in movies and television shows.

Here are the Alumni’s from “Another World:”

Morgan Freeman played “Dr. Roy Bingham,” a fine architect in the

fictional town of “Bay City” where the soap opera takes place,

from 1982-1984.

Morgan’s most notable, Academy Award nominated role was in “Driving

Miss Daisy,” which was filmed in 1989. I enjoy him in all of his roles.

He has been recently in “Last Vegas” with the other three iconic legends.

Morgan plays Johnny Depp’s mentor in, “Transcendence,” at age 76!

Brad Pitt played “Chris,” a high school basketball player in 1987. He

played in his ‘breakout’ role (let’s fact it, as a shirtless ‘hunk’

in, “Thelma and Louise,” in 1991. At age 50, Brad was the producer,

along with played the role of an abolitionist-carpenter in, “12 Years

a Slave.”

Kyra Sedgwick, played murder-for-hire victim, “Julia Shearer”, from 1982

until 1983. She has been in several movies, along with her role as the

lead on a police force, “The Closer,” on television. My favorite movie

with Kyra is, “Something to Talk About,” where she plays Julia Roberts’

sister. They have very similar facial details like their beautiful eyes

and smiles. Wile 48 years old, she plays along side of Sylvester

Stallone in “Reach Me.” It is a ‘feel good’ Indie film, getting a lot

of critical acclaim and notice. (She is also in “Door to Door,” with

William H. Macy, check this movie out, later in the list…)

Kelsey Grammer was in “Another World,” as an emergency room physician

named, “Dr. Conrad,” from 1984 until 1985. There are several shows that

I remember on television with him, but mainly his role in “Frasier,”

is my favorite. He is 59, in his character role of a human villain,

“Harold Attinger,” in “Transformers: Age of Extinction.”

William H. Macy, played “Frank Fisk,” for the year of 1982. He is one

of my favorites in the movie made for television, “Door to Door.”

In that movie, he plays an inspiring man with an indomitable spirit,

who has Cerebral Palsy. He also plays a rather hapless ‘would be’

kidnapper in that strange movie, “Fargo.” His ability to become a

variety of characters is amazing, if you ever wish to see his long

list of movies and ‘resume!’

At age 64, William portrays the head of the dysfunctional family

on the television show, “Shameless.”

*I am weird, but like the television show, “Fargo,” with Billy Bob

Thornton, by the way.*

Although, definitely NOT AARP material, Lindsay Lohan, was discovered

on “Another World,” in her role as a mischievous teen, “Alexandra”

or “Alli” Fowler, (1996-97). My family enjoyed her in the remake film

of “The Parent Trap, 1998. She has portrayed Elizabeth Taylor in a

television movie and recently was in one of my posts about Garrison

Keillor, in “A Prairie Home Companion.” She is probably equally famous

as Justin Bieber, in her crazy antics, partially due to addictions.

She is at age 27 star of a reality TV show, “Lindsay,” about her post-

rehab life. One of my personal favorite Lindsay Lohan movies is with

Jane Fonda, called, “Georgia Rule.” She has talent and will overcome

her problems, which I do believe stem from family, biology, and money.

Have you ever been a fan of a soap opera?

If not, were you a fan of any of the night time ones, like “Dynasty,”

“Falcon Crest,” “Dallas,” “Knot’s Landing,” “Brothers and Sisters,”

or any newer ones, like “Nashville?” I am a fan of Sunday’s “Revenge”

and also, do sometimes watch “Parenthood.” They consider them “serials.”

Motivational and Elevating

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The book, “Before I Die,” ( 2013, 304 pp.) is ‘chock full’

of ways that you can choose to savor your life and make

the journey more meaningful. Candy Chang painted black

a side of an old, abandoned house in her New Orleans

neighborhood and created a ‘ripple effect.’

She painted it to be a dynamic chalkboard and printed

out the words, “Before I Die I Want To…” These words

were meant to develop a dialogue and encourage some

interactions among her neighbors.

Ms. Chang’s efforts produced a safer neighborhood,

less police calls, brought people out to sit on their

porches, made people become motivated and it united

them. Incredible results are given in Ms. Chang’s book!

Also, due to the popularity of the book and bloggers

passing the word around, became an international art

movement.

I love it when some action creates the impetus for

uniting people, like the songs that groups of famous

singers have gathered, using their talent to break

or remove barriers. One example of this was, “We are

the world.”

The house, another positive side effect of Chang’s

ingenuity, was saved. It has become a home to a family.

Some of the global samples of how people completed

their own projects like Ms. Chang’s includes more

black painted ‘clean slate’ walls outside. Along with

blackboards in other places, businesses and malls.

Each setting has had profound results.

The reason Candy Chang was inspired to start the

project, then complete the book, was due to the

sudden loss of her loved one. This took her mind

and emotions away from dwelling on the negative.

Instead it became both motivational to people who

lived around her and the book became elevating to

distant areas where they were seeking more of a

purpose and answering needs for change.

Here are a few samples from the book,

“I will grow a garden.”

“I will help others.”

“I will spend more time with friends.”

and even fantasy thoughts such as,

“I will eat a salad with an alien.”

Hey, going into outer space or to a different

country are good dreams for the young to become

inspired. I hope that education will be more

available and likely in the future, to all.

By writing a ‘bucket list,’ you are putting those

ideas on paper or on the chalkboard for all to

see, whether it is family and friends (inside your

home) or neighbors and passers-by, (outside your

home, posted in your garden or on a gate…)

You are building connections by the written word,

communicating with those around you. Also, a person

is less likely to ‘turn back and give up’ on some of

those far-fetched dreams. Once it is in print, painted

on the wall, you will find yourself thinking of the

steps to reach your goals.

I imagine this being quite a creative springboard

for break rooms, coffee shops, or anywhere people

gather together. Oh, how about senior centers and

church social rooms?

Do you have a place, in mind, where this would

generate a new sense of community and creative

thoughts?