Category Archives: Bugs Bunny

Word Play Chuckles

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Using a post combining aphorisms, puns and some humor I always

hope to send readers a good time. Word play is a way I enjoy others

who utilize unique ways to get your mind to travel. Sometimes, you

have to think a bit before you ‘get it.’ Other times, they are so corny,

you may groan. . .

 

The Family Tree

of

Vincent Van Gogh

(Note:  His members included a few ‘stereotypes’ which I left out.)

 

His hardworking Brother at the convenience store known as “Stop N Gogh.”

His dizzy and kooky Aunt known as “Verti- Gogh.”

His magician Uncle otherwise known as “Where Diddy Gogh.”

His Nephew who drove a stage coach out West was named, “Wells Far Gogh.”

His bird watching Cousin who went by the name of, “Fla Min Gogh.”

The beautiful, exotic Aunt was named, “Tang Gogh.”

The little girl Cousin who liked to eat fruit known as “Mang Gogh.”

The positive Teacher and Aunt was nicknamed, “Way to Gogh.”

The Grandfather from the Old World country, “Hugh Gogh.”

The little bouncy Nephew named Poe Gogh.

(This depended on whether or not you have heard of Pogo sticks?)

The lively Sister who loves disco and dancing- Go Gogh.

And Vince’s Niece whose family travels in an R.V.- “Winnie Bay Gogh.”

 

I saw you smiling over there, almost snorting your coffee:

“There Ya, Gogh!”

 

Maxine gives you this Intermission Thought:

“Take every birthday with a grain of salt. . .

This works much better if the salt accompanies a

Margarita!”

(Thanks, John Wagner!)

 

“No Pun Intended”

Ten “Punography” Entries

(I could have had twenty!)

1. What does a clock do when it is hungry?   It goes back 4 seconds.

 

2. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  Thesaurus.

 

3. Plans for the class trip to the Coca Cola factory:  I hope there won’t be

a Pop Quiz!

 

4. Broken pencils are. . .   pointless.

 

5. Old school Bible pun. . . How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

 

6. I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.

 

7. When chemists die, they barium.

 

8. This woman said she recognized me from the club for vegetarians.

But I’d never met herbivore.

 

9. I was in a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

 

10. The hospital told me I had Type A. . . . It was a Type O.

 

Now, drum roll please: An encore Pun!

“A dyslexic man walked into a bra.”

 

You may wonder what an aphorism is:

A short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever observation or

a general truth. I used to love George Carlin’s aphorisms. Here are a few

to hold you over until you can read G.C.’s brand or style of humor.

1. The nicest thing about the future is. . . that it starts tomorrow.

 

2. Money will buy a fine dog,  only kindness will make him wag his tail.

 

3. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense

at all.

 

4. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

 

And the old standby, often expressed aphorism:

5. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark

to become a teen who wants to stay out all night?

 

And as Bugs Bunny would say with a stutter and a big smile…

“That’s All, Folks!”

Deer Hunting Story

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Sometimes we just need a reason to laugh out loud. It may not be

intellectual or like Bob Newhart’s dry sense of humor.  It may be a

joke or a comic imitating something or someone. It could be there

really is a monkey loose down in Tampa, Florida. The city’s police

(through 9-1-1 calls) are getting lots of phone calls about the wild

animal. This is on the internet, so it must be ‘true!’

I liked this one which my Mom’s pen pal sent to me. While I was in

the dentist’s office, my hygienist who has been a younger friend of

mine for over five years, told me her current boyfriend of four years

was out hunting for deer. Then, at work this week, Cycle Count Dept.

asked for some volunteers to help out, since half their staff were out

deer hunting. So, this story may bring smiles and is definitely timed

for Ohio’s deer hunting season.

I thought this one was rather clever and had never heard it before.

I told this to my friends at lunch, which after typing this it is easier

to remember the details. They laughed and thought it was ‘cute.’

 

“One night at a local bar, frequented by the local group of deer hunters

in walked the sheriff. The men were waiting for the opening day of Deer

Hunting Season. The sheriff was scoping out the joint for possible drunk

drivers.

 

As he waited, eventually a patron stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for

his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his own.

He got inside and rested his head on the car’s steering wheel. The deputy

knew he had his first drunk driver, among the bunch of deer hunters.

So now all he had to do was wait for him to start his engine and pull out

onto the road.

 

A few hours passed by and most of the other deer hunters had left by then.

When the patron who had been sleeping or resting, while listening to his

radio, lifted his head up. He started the car, drove out of the lot like a ‘bat

out of hell.’ The deputy followed him and put his lights on, using his loud

speaker to say,

“Get out of the car, lean against the side of it, put your hands in the air.”

He immediately skipped the Sobriety Test, he knew this deer hunter’s

alcohol was high, even if he had slept it off a bit.

He administered, the Breath-O-Lizer test and it read “O.OO.”

 

Confused, the sheriff asked the driver,

“What in the world was going on?”

The driver looked at him innocently and responded respectfully,

“Well Sir, tonight I’m the “Designated Decoy.”

(The End)

 

Picture This”

A large tree, bare of leaves, with a “Warning Sign” upon it in

the woods:

“WARNING:

“BAITING DEER IS ILLEGAL

This corn pile is intended for

SQUIRRELS,

CHIPMUNKS

AND

OTHER SUCH ANIMALS.

 

ANY DEER FOUND EATING

THIS CORN

WILL BE SHOT!”

 

Do you have any tall tales from out in the wild or have you

ever gone deer, turkey, squirrel or rabbit hunting?

That last one made me think of Elmer Fudd’s going

‘wabbit hunting,’ (Bugs Bunny).

Sending you smiles. . .