It has already been a long week and most people consider this
“hump day!” I have been missing my friend, Melvin, who is off
visiting his fellow servicemen in Boston, MA. I also have had
a few accidents, leaving me feeling bumped, bruised, hot
Last night, after I posted my story about Landen, I went home
from the library to a hot apartment. No air conditioning had
come on. I inspected the thermostat and called the Landlord.
Pete told me he changed the air filter and had shut the air off.
Did not bother to ask, “Why on earth when the temperature
is 90 degrees one would turn the flipping air off?” Why change
the air filter, being helpful, and then, irradicate all the positive
energy of said exchange for a hot apartment?
Then, went in to take a shower, all unclothed and what do you
think happened? My lightbulb went out! I was standing there
buck naked and slippery. I got out of tub, went in the hallway
linen closet, turned the hall light on, and got a lightbulb. I was
dripping on the carpet but feeling kind of numb now.
Went into almost pitch black bathroom, stood up on the toilet,
and switched the bulb out. While I pride myself at work with
my very sure footing and feeling limber like a goat…
Slipped between the toilet and the tub grabbing for something
and got the whole shower curtain in my hands. Of course, some
of the stupid hooks ended up getting unhooked and
I lost my grip and fell backwards hitting my head on the toilet!
Not an “I Love Lucy” pratfall, since it was I that did that clumsy
move! Thought it was more like Dick Van Dyke when he would
walk through his door, trip and fall over the ottoman each time
“The Dick Van Dyke Show” began!
I was in pain, on my shin from the frontal fall onto the bathtub
and the back of my head from the rear fall. Still somehow started
to laugh! I was so glad my youngest daughter wasn’t there to
come in on her old, wrinkly mother in such a very indelicate
This reminded me that I forgot to tell you about my little episode
last week, during Open Stock “hell week.”
This has to do with trying to return the webgear and modem
boxes to good ole’ Time Warner Cable company. There is a
“drop box” outside the local cable building.
After a short conversation by the time I got to the closed office.
I noted that it has impossible times for most working people
(Monday through Friday 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.)
I want those working hours, please!
I knew I would have to return the equipment last week to stay
within the perameters of billing periods, I refused to pay any
extra days after youngest daughter moved out!
If I didn’t return it in a timely manner, there was going to be
another week of “Internet and wi-fi service charges.”
I was going to get this taken care of NOW! So, I called the
company, put on indefinite hold, wondered for a short minute,
not trying to be sarcastic, but if I pushed “the number 5” if I
could handle this whole conversation in Spanish?
While you are talking with the person who is outside the area,
answering after the 4:30 deadline which I will never make to
return things. I am sure to repeat this to the person before she
forwards me to another person. I had pushed “3” for trying to
“add or delete services” or was it “upgrade or downgrade
services?” Not sure, it was the closest to what was going on.
I decided to try one more call. Where under some helpful and
thoughtful instructions from the far distant operator on how to
wrap it and protect it from damage, I achieved the best and closest
proximity to what her suggestions had been given. I (get this) had
taken a nice t-shirt from the pool bag in my trunk of the car, taken
my handy dandy duct tape from the back seat of the car, and had
attached a phone number and address label to each package. You
see, I refused to go home and get other more appropriate materials!
I gently pushed the webgear wrapped package through the drop box
drawer opening and flipped it closed, hearing a loud “thunk!” as it
landed. Next, I wrapped the modem box in another t-shirt, this was
one left behind by a grandchild, so no worries, out of sight out of
mind! I got this same approximately wrapped, protective but not
so neatly this time with address and name attached.
I could get “credit” for returning equipment and have a lower cable bill.
The next thing that happened, you guessed it, not a smooth package
meant not such a smooth entry into the drop box. As it was supposed
to slip gracefully down, it caught at the edge of the angled downward
“drawer” and it would not go down nor would the drawer entirely
Darn, you can tell how frustrated I was and so tired!
The “mantra” for the moment was to “breathe and think!” I got into
my trunk and found a wire hanger, I tried to grab that tape to get it
to come back out and it was jammed, stuck, nowhere to go but stick
I heard a van “vrooming” past, saw it glide back behind the building
with a real live cable man in it! I walked to the edge of the fencing
where the other cable vans were parked. His lonely car was
outside of the fencing so I waited until he came out of the vehicle.
I shouted, “Hello! Could you please help me?”
He looked at my sweaty self, my work clothes always have oil stains
and other dirty spots, even though I daily go in the bathroom before
leaving and attempt to wash off. He could see my frayed nerves
showing all over my face and said a polite,
I explained where I worked and how many hours were going on in
the past week (this was last week’s Open Stock period) and he nodded
sympathetically. He followd me to the front of the building and he
tried his hardest to grab that modem package. He then took my phone
numberand my address, told me he would be in before 9 and would
tell “Helen” about the drop box jam up and,
“Don’t worry, go home and relax.”
It took every ounce of my will power not to embrace him and stand
there holding him in a big hug! Yes, he was cute, by the way! A bonus
for all the pain and suffering. Too bad he never used the phone
number except to impart appropriate information to the clerk,
“Helen,” who did call on the next day to say the drop box had a key
and from the back they were able to retrieve the equipment. It was
all logged in and I now will be only paying $90 a month for cable,
minus computer stuff.
I am not throwing a “pity party” today, just reciting my hilarious little
glitches in my perfectly normal and happy life! Hope you enjoyed the
I slept with a bag of frozen lima beans on my shin the other night
and a bag of frozen peas on the pillow under my head. I drank about
8-10 ounces of Merlot and felt a little bit better.
Brain freeze but my shin looked a lot better, thank you!