Category Archives: cable company

All Hot and Bothered!


It has already been a long week and most people consider this

“hump day!” I have been missing my friend, Melvin, who is off

visiting his fellow servicemen in Boston, MA. I also have had

a few accidents, leaving me feeling bumped, bruised, hot

and bothered!

Last night, after I posted my story about Landen, I went home

from the library to a hot apartment. No air conditioning had

come on. I inspected the thermostat and called the Landlord.

Pete told me he changed the air filter and had shut the air off.


Did not bother to ask, “Why on earth when the temperature

is 90 degrees one would turn the flipping air off?” Why change

the air filter, being helpful, and  then, irradicate all the positive

energy of said exchange for a hot apartment?


Then, went in to take a shower, all unclothed and what do you

think happened? My lightbulb went out! I was standing there

buck naked and slippery. I got out of tub, went in the hallway

linen closet, turned the hall light on, and got a lightbulb. I was

dripping on the carpet but feeling kind of numb now.


Went into almost pitch black bathroom, stood up on the toilet,

and switched the bulb out. While I pride myself at work with

my very sure footing and feeling limber like a goat…


Slipped between the toilet and the tub grabbing for something

and got the whole shower curtain in my hands. Of course, some

of the stupid hooks ended up getting unhooked and


I lost my grip and fell backwards hitting my head on the toilet!

Not an “I Love Lucy” pratfall, since it was I that did that clumsy

move! Thought it was more like Dick Van Dyke when he would

walk through his door, trip and fall over the ottoman each time

“The Dick Van Dyke Show” began!

I was in pain, on my shin from the frontal fall onto the bathtub

and the back of my head from the rear fall. Still somehow started

to laugh! I was so glad my youngest daughter wasn’t there to

come in on her old, wrinkly mother in such a very indelicate


This reminded me that I forgot to tell you about my little episode

last week, during Open Stock “hell week.”

This has to do with trying to return the webgear and modem

boxes to good ole’ Time Warner Cable company. There is a

“drop box” outside the local cable building.

After a short conversation by the time I got to the closed office.

I noted that it has impossible times for most working people

(Monday through Friday 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.)

I want those working hours, please!

I knew I would have to return the equipment last week to stay

within the perameters of billing periods, I refused to pay any

extra days after youngest daughter moved out!

If I didn’t return it in a timely manner, there was going to be

another week of “Internet and wi-fi service charges.”

I was going to get this taken care of NOW! So, I called the

company, put on indefinite hold, wondered for a short minute,

not trying to be sarcastic, but if I pushed “the number 5” if I

could handle this whole conversation in Spanish?

While you are talking with the person who is outside the area,

answering after the 4:30 deadline which I will never make to

return things. I am sure to repeat this to the person before she

forwards me to another person. I had pushed “3” for trying to

“add or delete services” or was it “upgrade or downgrade

services?” Not sure, it was the closest to what was going on.

I decided to try one more call. Where under some helpful and

thoughtful instructions from the far distant operator on how to

wrap it and protect it from damage, I achieved the best and closest

proximity to what her suggestions had been given. I (get this) had

taken a nice t-shirt from the pool bag in my trunk of the car, taken

my handy dandy duct tape from the back seat of the car, and had

attached a phone number and address label to each package. You

see, I refused to go home and get other more appropriate materials!

I gently pushed the webgear wrapped package through the drop box

drawer opening and flipped it closed, hearing a loud “thunk!” as it

landed. Next, I wrapped the modem box in another t-shirt, this was

one left behind by a grandchild, so no worries, out of sight out of

mind! I got this same approximately wrapped, protective but not

so neatly this time with address and name attached.

I could get “credit” for returning equipment and have a lower cable bill.

The next thing that happened, you guessed it, not a smooth package

meant not such a smooth entry into the drop box. As it was supposed

to slip gracefully down, it caught at the edge of the angled downward

“drawer” and it would not go down nor would the drawer entirely

close either.

Darn, you can tell how frustrated I was and so tired!

The “mantra” for the moment was to “breathe and think!” I got into

my trunk and found a wire hanger, I tried to grab that tape to get it

to come back out and it was jammed, stuck, nowhere to go but stick


I heard a van “vrooming” past, saw it glide back behind the building

with a real live cable man in it! I walked to the edge of the fencing

where the other cable vans were parked. His lonely car was

outside of the fencing so I waited until he came out of the vehicle.

I shouted, “Hello! Could you please help me?”

He looked at my sweaty self, my work clothes always have oil stains

and other dirty spots, even though I daily go in the bathroom before

leaving and attempt to wash off. He could see my frayed nerves

showing all over my face and said a polite,


I explained where I worked and how many hours were going on in

the past week (this was last week’s Open Stock period) and he nodded

sympathetically. He followd me  to the front of the building and he

tried his hardest to grab that modem package. He then took my phone

numberand my address, told me he would be in before 9 and would

tell “Helen” about the drop box jam up and,

“Don’t worry, go home and relax.”

It took every ounce of my will power not to embrace him and stand

there holding him in a big hug! Yes, he was cute, by the way! A bonus

for all the pain and suffering. Too bad he never used the phone

number except to impart appropriate information to the clerk,

“Helen,” who did call on the next day to say the drop box had a key

and from the back they were able to retrieve the equipment.  It was

all logged in and I now will be only paying $90 a month for cable,

minus computer stuff.

I am not throwing a “pity party” today, just reciting my hilarious little

glitches in my perfectly normal and happy life! Hope you enjoyed the

comedy relief.

I slept with a bag of frozen lima beans on my shin the other night

and a bag of frozen peas on the pillow under my head. I drank about

8-10 ounces of Merlot and felt a little bit better.

Brain freeze but my shin looked a lot better, thank you!