Category Archives: college guy friend

All Kinds of “Fixes”

Standard

In their third album, “X & Y,” songs and lyrics by Coldplay, there

is a lovely song called, “Fix You.” The British rock group was

founded in 1996. Two college friends, Chris Martin and Jonny Buckland,

started together having met at University College, London, England.

Their group, also, includes Guy Berryman and Will Champion.

The breakdown of the musical group, Coldplay’s talents goes like this:

Guy Berryman is on acoustical guitar, Jonny Buckland plays percussion

instruments, Chris Martin is talented on the piano and Will Champion

plays the piano, also. They have contributed to the writing of many

of the group’s songs together.

The song, “Fix You,” has a slow, sweet pace with some sadness in the

lyrics. It is about someone who is broken, who doesn’t ‘know their worth.’

The singer is expressing the desire to fix that person. I find it a song

that ‘haunts’ me.

I almost included this song in my “Homeward Reflections” post. I felt

that my poem, partly inspired by the Simon and Garfunkel song, “Homeward

Bound,” could have been a ‘bookend’ to “Fix You.” (The album, “X & Y,”

came out in June, 2005 in the UK and Europe.)

Only the lyrics held me back. . .

I was a little bit disturbed by the implied arrogance of the title.

Also, the idea that someone felt capable of ‘fixing’ anyone other than

themself.

Probably, I was a little brought ‘down’ by my own personal inner feelings

of having possibly chosen, in past relationships, ‘broken people.’ Some

sense of inadequacy naturally derived from several failed marriages.

Was I saddened because this made me examine these feelings again?

Am I one who likes to play God and “fix” others?

I wanted that post to be positive and upbeat, so I left the Coldplay

song, “Fix You,” out of the post.

While talking to others, since that ‘home’ post, I found they thought

that I may be misinterpreting the words of the song.

I am also intrigued with analyzing the different ways that we use the

words, “fix,” “fixing/fixin’s,” and “fixed.” I have upon reflection,

decided I don’t like the lyrics, but still absolutely adore the song

by Coldplay’s artists, Chris Martin, Jonny Buckland (and others) in the

lyrics’ credits.

My favorite parts are the beginning stanzas and the repeated (3 x)

refrains.

Here are those ‘pieces’ and help me to understand what “fix you,” means

in this song:

“Fix You

“When you try your best,

but you don’t succeed.

When you get what you want,

but not what you need.

When you feel so tired,

but you cannot sleep.

Stuck in reverse…”

(“Tears” stanza)…

(“You’ll never know what you’re worth” stanza)…

Refrain:

“Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you.”

The definition of “fix” includes the ideas of

Repair,

Mend,

Prepare,

Make whole,

and many more definitions.

In my favorite part of looking at a word, I like to engage in ‘word play.’

It helps me to think in terms of lists of uses of “fix,” “fixing,” “fixin’s”

and “fixed.”

This may be challenging to understand if you are used to another language!

This also may confuse you, but variations of the word, “fix,” can be shown

in both negative and positive connotations.

POSITIVE uses of the words that have a root word of “fix:”

1. “fixer-upper” house- one that someone would purchase, make it better by

putting their hard efforts into. It is usually a first home, but sometimes

fixed up to become a rental or ‘turn around’ home. (Real Estate.)

2. “Fix-o-dent” can be quite helpful to keep elderly (and toothless) persons’

dentures in place. (Personal Hygiene.)

3. “fixin’s”- In the south, sometimes in the ‘hills’ people consider this

the delicious side dishes that go with the main meal. Cracker Barrel had

a section with this label for quite some time.

I especially like the expression, “all the fixin’s.” (Food Preparation.)

4. “fix up”- When you are getting fixed up to go out, your appearance

usually is improved!

Example: “My, you certainly look ‘fixed up’ for the party!”

Other variations can include, fixing one’s hair, makeup, and adjusting

your clothing.

Example: “She ‘fixed’ the length of her dress to cover her knees.”

5. “fix”- To prepare a dish or dinner.

Example: “My friend ‘fixes’ a great lasagna!”

6. “fix”- To set up a date, match-make a friend.

Example: “I ‘fixed’ my brother up with my high school friend.”

7. “fix”- To mend or repair, in the way of making whole.

Examples:

a. “I will do whatever it takes to ‘fix this’ and make you feel

comfortable.”

b. “He told her that he would ‘fix’ their relationship by building

her trust.”

8. “fix” or “fixed”- To have won the lottery or inherit money. Be ‘set.’

Example: “That family if ‘fixed’ for life!”

9. “fix” or “fixed”- To be focused on a goal. (Personal Development.)

Example: “He was ‘fixed’ on the Prize.”

10. “fix” or “fixed”- Body parts replaced or repaired. (Personal

Appearance.)

Examples:

a. “She had her eyes ‘fixed’ by laser surgery.”

b. “The famous actor had his facial structure ‘fixed’ after

the accident, through plastic surgery.”

11. “fixed”- A short term used when an animal is neutered,

spayed or castrated.

Example: “I had my dog ‘fixed.’

12. “fixin'”- When one is planning to be married or do an action,

they may express this as, “I’m fixin’ to get hitched!” (Slang.)

My personal bias, interpreting this definition, is that we should

have animals fixed, if we are to help with preventing over-

population of animals. Breeders are allowed to interpret this

usage as negative, since they may wish to produce champions or

make money selling ‘pure breds.’

NEGATIVE uses of the words derived from the root word, “Fix:”

1. “fix”- A person may use this word when ‘in a jam,'(or bind) or

otherwise need someone to bail himself/herself out of a bad situation.

Example: “I’m in a fix.” (Personal Behavior.)

2. “fix”- To repair something broken, attach two parts together with glue,

other things that “need to be fixed.” (The positive result of fixing,

done well, is its counterpart, the whole item.)

3. “fix”- To comply with a teacher or employer’s request to “Fix this.”

This means a mistake or problems lie in the presentation. (The positive

result of fixing this, may mean a better grade or a raise!)

4. “fix”- Need to have a drug, caffeine, sugar, tobacco or other mood

enhancer.

Example: “I need my caffeine ‘fix’ or I won’t be very productive.”

(Slang term, “I need a fix,” can be very negative…)

5. “fix”- This takes on a sinister meaning, in politics, hidden agendas

and mobster movies.

Example: “You better ‘fix’ this!”

(Interpersonal Relations.)

6. “fix”- In certain situations, meaning to change or ‘throw’

something.

Examples:

a. “The fight was ‘fixed.’

b. “School test scores have been found to be ‘fixed’ and may have to be

retaken.”

c. “The player ‘threw’ the game by fixing the bets based on a losing

score.”

7. “fix”- In slang or colloquial usage, can mean revenge or vengeful

thoughts or behaviors.

Example: “That’ll ‘fix’ her!” (Personal Behavior.)

8. “fix”- To adjust an item of clothing that needs to be.

Examples:

a. “Fix your fly!”

b. “Her bra straps would not stay up, so she had to continually

‘fix’ them.”

Both examples are easily turned into positives, when the person

adjusts their clothing item! (Personal Appearance.)

As far as the song, “Fix You,” goes, I feel that no one should think

they are solely responsible for another person’s decisions. I found

this out, through Al-Anon and also, marriage counseling. Accepting

and adjusting to the choices your partner makes, will help you to

stay together. Only when you feel that you cannot do so, then if

the other person doesn’t want to change and adapt to your ways,

then you may need counseling or separation, to reflect on whether

or not it is worth changing for the other person.

Certain phrasings don’t go over well with me, since I feel that in

most relationships the couple needs to work together to make decisions.

I prefer Kahlil Gibran’s image of two cypress trees, neither in each

other’s shadow. Here is a passage from the 1923 book, “The Prophet.”

This is how to be part of a couple, in marriage:

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you…”

(Several passages follow)…

“And stand together, yet not too near…”

“The oak and the cypress grow

Not in each other’s shadow.”

When you leave a comment, please let me know if you think the intention of

this song, is positive or negative. Is it just me that worries about an

unspoken sense of negative control of the other’s being?

Something different from loneliness

Standard

A life cut tragically short, by a car accident, holds meaning

and longevity. Marina Keegan, age 22, had just graduated only

five short days earlier from Yale University. Her promising

career had been jump started being hired by the magazine, “The

New Yorker.” She was soon to be considered a staff writer.

Marina’s family collected, posthumously, stories, essays and her

journal entries that ranged from serious subjects to silly ones.

Marina’s imagination created enough ‘life’s work,’ to publish in

a book called, “The Opposite of Loneliness.” (It has nine short

stories and nine essays.)

If you wish to read about her May 26, 2012 accident where she

and a young man’s car ‘rolled on Route 6,’ you can find an article

on the internet. Marina was from the town of Wayland, Massachusetts.

The article was posted in the “Cape Cod Today” newspaper. The book

has a forward written by one of Marina’s Yale professors, Anne

Fadiman.

One of Marina’s profound thoughts on the subject of her book,

(which I hope that in the after life one knows that you are

a published author!) was that the English language doesn’t

exactly have a word that is the opposite of loneliness.

While Marina was alive she showed her buoyancy and happiness

to others surrounding her. She mentioned that there was

enjoyment in togetherness. There are other facets in this

collection that sound ‘wiser than her age.’ Her question

that resonated with me was:

“What inhabits the place in your ‘soul’ that is the complete

opposite of loneliness?”

This book is worthy of reading and inspiring to see what

Marina’s thoughts were. Also, to imagine all the words still

left to be said, had she lived past her 22nd year. It seemed to

me, if one could picture a bulletin board with a collage of

pictures that represented her thoughts, it would be very exciting

and beautiful. It would have love and heartbreak, whales and

music. She had written a play that Yale actors had performed in

called, “Utility Monster.” She was in the middle of writing a

musical.

The job that was waiting for her at “The New Yorker,” indicates

what a fine student and someone who must have made a quite a

remarkable first impression.

Marina’s family should take comfort that she must have felt some

of her dreams had come to fruition. There must have been excitement

and a sense of anticipation at that ‘first job’ after college.

Another part of the book made me feel that no one should count

on having a tomorrow. Think big! Think outside the box! My

thoughts kept coming back to Marina would have made an excellent

author to read, her stories and essays are vibrant and meaningful.

Her volumes of thoughts, hand written in notebooks and journals

show her commitment to writing. Her mind lived in ‘worlds’ where

others may never have tread.

Makes me appreciate that I still am here.

We all should remember how short and fleeting our lives are.

Time is flying by, our clocks possibly already ‘set’ to the

last minute we will have a chance to say something, in our

words and through our writings.

In a short 3 line poem that in is the Preface of Marina’s

book, these words are given:

“Bygones

Do you wanna’ leave soon?

No, I want enough time to be in love with everything.

And, I cry because everything is so beautiful

And so short.”

This is Not a Commercial!

Standard

This is going to be a fun post about name brands that mean a

lot to me! Hope you will join in a conversation about what

products have meant to you and attach a few memories to them,

please.

I have wonderful memories of the following products that I

am compelled to list their names and why I like (or loved)

them!

1. Everyone asks me this simple question, what products do

you use on your face (sometimes with the attached compliment

that my face looks younger than my age, even without makeup

on.) Here are a couple of products that I have used for years!

Jergen’s face and hand soap. The white bar opening the package

emits a lovely smell of almonds. I also use Zest soap in the shower.

I like that green angular soap bar and it is gentle on my skin.

2. In the kitchen, I used to always use what my mother used: Ivory

Dish Soap. It was a great all purpose product that many times went

in the children’s bath tub at night to create a lot of bubbles. I recently

am attached to any brand that is on sale, that contains citrus scent,

especially liked one with grapefruit in it! (Ajax Triple Action with

antibacterial currently in the kitchen!)

3. I have serious and conflicted emotions when I smell the cologne

or scent of Brut. It is the kind that a special young college man wore

around me and we never went beyond friendship due to meeting my

first husband freshman year. We hung out a lot, though, and I will

always wonder…

4. I wore all through my high school years a scent that I hope will

get a lot of reactions, like “I used that too!” or “My girlfriend used

to wear that, too!” It is called “Love’s Baby Soft” perfume and it was

so sweet and misty. I liked it a lot.

5. Mom wore “Muguet des bois” which smelled like Lilies of the Valley.

Interestingly enough, the couture House of Coty, originally designed

this fragrance in 1941. I am amazed that the story of the scent my Mom

wore is on wikipedia and lots more details, if you have the same memory

of an aunt or grandmother who wore this fragrance…

I loved it when my parents moved to the lake, because they dug huge

buckets of real lilies of the valley from the side of our Bay Village

house to transplant and grow there.

6. Mom used the lotion, Noxema, which frankly kind of smells not so

wonderful! But she suffered from Eczema and felt this lotion solved

her itchy, red and irritated skin problems. She wore it caked on at

night sometime on her hands, then put cotton gloves on to keep

the itching at bay. (I am sure that she found ways around this to

have romance since I have mentioned in much earlier post, my

parents were very passionate!)

7. I have to say for many years, my Mom bought Charmin bathroom

tissue. I think we all remember those, “Please don’t squeeze the

Charmin” commercials, that a gentleman named “Mr. Whipple”

would complain about customers…

8. Talking about commercials that were funny, creative and had a

nice “jingle” or music to it, I loved the Benson and Hedge’s 100’s

commercials! Those were so amusing and I have to say they probably

can be found on Youtube or somewhere on this internet, if you are too

young to have seen cigarette commercials on television! The “gimmick”

was to have the person smoking that extra long cigarette and somehow

it would be caught, in an elevator door, or in some other fashion. My

Dad smoked regular cigarettes and usually not a typical kind. My 16th

summer in Rockport, Mass. I would sell a lot of the hard box red

Marlboro’s to a sweet looking 16 or 17 year old. My great aunt Marie

picked him up one time when he was hitchhiking, all I had to do

with that crazy, beautiful auntie would say, “Oh, there’s that cute

guy that comes into the pharmacy and buys cigarettes.” She

would veer her little red, sports coupe over to the side of the road,

pick him up and try to get him to go with us to the drive in, to

Ipswitch to get clam rolls or somewhere. We saw him a lot on

the road… memories of cigarettes and boys! So inappropriate

and “not politically correct” these days! Smile!

9. Another commercial that sometimes irritated the piss out of

my Mom was the one with a nice red haired woman named

“Madge” who would soak clients’ hands, particularly their

fingernails in green Palmolive liquid dish soap. She thought

it was very bad since if you had sensitive skin (like she did)

it would make the person’s hands itch.

10. Last but not least, my Dad wore the Original Scent Old

Spice. I loved that so much since he would splash it on quite

liberally. Probably to counteract his smoking habit or because

his nose was a little less sensitive. I liked this especially when

he would come to my Father Daughter Square Dance night for

Girl Scouts! I have to share one more memory that is not

directly scent related but it is of my father who was not only

the “absent minded professor type” but he was a little dyslexic!

We all hooted and hollered at our little hoe downs because when

the square dance caller would say “alla man left” my Dad, God

bless him, would almost always go the opposite direction!

I can think of so many other products that have memories attached

so maybe this is going to be just part one, for now!

I am not paid, nor am endorsing any of the above products! This is

not a commercial, but a stroll down memory lane… Hope you will

have a few memories to add to mine!