Category Archives: comic strip

Levity in Brevity

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Just sending some smiles and funny little jokes collected by my Mom

over the past few weeks from her friend, “Pooky,” otherwise known

as Joyce. Joyce is older than Mom, knows how to get on the computer

and prints out all kinds of colorful emailed jokes, some are illustrated

by John Wagner, with “Maxine” comic strip pictures attached. She

has tried to get my email address from my Mom, for which I am

eternally grateful for Mom. She has not asked me for my email

address. Mom handwrites Joyce notes but sometimes they are very

short notes. She repeats herself, they may just talk about the

weather and her dog, Nicki. I have read them and helped her out,

adding a few details and saying, “Just an extra note from Robin.”

 

This is a little silly but remember my Mom is 86 and it didn’t

embarrass her…

 

“An elderly man goes into confession and says to the Priest,

‘Father, I’m 80 years old, married and have 4 kids. I have 11

healthy grandchildren. Last night, I had an affair or fling

with two young women.

I was able to perform with both of them. . .

Twice.’

 

The Priest answered,

‘Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?’

 

His reply was,

‘Never Father. . . I’m Jewish.’

 

The Priest asked,

‘So then, why are you telling me?’

 

The excited elderly man exclaimed,

‘I’m telling EVERYBODY!'”

 

My Mom wrote at the bottom of this, just in case I didn’t get the joke:

“He is so proud of himself!”

 

 

My Mom put three ***’s by this one:

 

**”I’m thinking of leaving my body to Science.

Even scientists can use a good laugh now and then.”

(This had the famous Maxine and her dog with his eyes crossed.)

 

Another Maxine my Mom gave this two **’s:

**”The older I get, the harder it is to find Mr. Right.

Darn cataracts!”

 

This one my Mom emphatically agrees with (usually!)

She gave this one 4 ****’s:

****”Sometimes I like to turn the TV off and just sit

quietly, with my thoughts.

Then, when I am sure the commercials are over,

I turn it back on.”

This picture has Maxine with a big bowl of popcorn and

her television remote control in her hand. The dog has a

bowl of some kind of food, with it on his lap. It is cute.

 

My Mom also enclosed a note which was full of x’s and o’s,

as well as quick ‘sound bytes,’ like:

“Stay Warm!”

“Take Your Vitamins!”

“Wear gloves and warm socks!”

“Tell everyone Great Grammie O. Loves them!”

 

and last, but not least. . .

 

“Please don’t send the jokes back!”

 

 

 

Wisdom Through the Ages

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Sometimes philosophy can be found on posters, bumper stickers,

t-shirts and other forms of public media. I found these precious

and funny bits of wisdom tucked into a circulated email. If you have

already received this set of “Great Truths” before, please don’t give

up on my writing original material very soon. . .

 

“Great Truths Little Children Have Learned:

1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.

2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

3. If you sister or brother hits you, don’t hit your sibling back. They

always catch the second person. (“She did it first” doesn’t work in

school either.)

4. Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato or a wriggly

kitten.

5. You cannot trust dogs to watch your food. Even if they are guard

dogs.

6. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7. Never hold a Dust Buster and a pet or a bowl of cereal at the same

time.

8. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Cutting brussel

sprouts into tiny bits doesn’t make it appear invisible either.

9. Don’t wear patterned underwear (polka dots) under white shorts or

slacks.

10. The best place to be when you are sad is Mommy, Daddy, Grandma

or Grandpa’s lap.”

 

“Great Truths Adults Have Learned:

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

2. Wrinkles don’t hurt.

3. Families are like fudge. . . mostly sweet but a little nutty.

4. Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.

5. Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.

6. Middle age is when you choose cereal for its fiber content

rather than the sweet flavor, coupon or toy inside.”

(Did you notice the list is getting smaller, as we age?)

 

“Great Truths About Growing Old:

1. Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.

2. Forget the health food. We need all the preservatives we can get.

3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you

are already down here.

4. You are getting old, when you get the same sensation from a

rocking chair or a porch swing that you once got on a merry go

round or a roller coaster.

 

Hope you also enjoy the following word plays and don’t mind

if they are a little “Pun- ny.”

 

1. “The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he or she can

tell when he is really in trouble.”

 

2. “Birds of a feather flock together. . .

and then use your car as target practice.”

 

3. “The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,

because by then your body and your fat have gotten

to be really good friend.”

 

4. “The easiest way to find something lost around the

house, is to purchase its replacement.”

 

5. “He who hesitates is probably right.”

 

6. For those over 40 years old, did you ever notice the

Roman Numerals for forty are:  “XL?”

 

7. Did you ever notice when you put the two words

“THE” and “IRS” together they spell, “THEIRS?”

 

8. Going along with this thought:

“A penny saved is a Government oversight.”

 

Now, to close with two “Maxine” comic strip comments:

9. “I can rise and shine,

but not at the same time.”

 

10. “Ever feel like you’ve had too much coffee?

Me neither.”

 

Happy Valentine’s Day funnies from “Maxine”

illustrated and written by John Wagner:

 

~**~ “The only thing better than a guy (or gal)

with chocolate is just the chocolate.” ~**~

 

~**~ “A box of chocolates is calling me. . .

which is more than my last boyfriend did.” ~**

Growing Older, Maxine Style

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Maxine, who is drawn and imagined by a man named John Wagner,

is one of my ‘go to’ posts and I admit to including some other jokes

and stories to help me fill in the blanks in my own creativity! Mom

and her good pen pal friend, Pooky, from California think she is a

hoot! I have other Senior Citizen articles my Mom stores up in her

apartment, sometimes one is so funny, she cannot resist sending

tucked into her own personally written correspondence. This is

NOT a Maxine list but reminds me of her ‘style!’

 

Growing Old is the Best Reason for Living!

1.  NO one is really wishing to spend hours on the road,

so you do not have to worry about being kidnapped.

 

2.  In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released 1st.

 

3.  NO one expects you to run. . .

Anywhere.

 

4.  People call at 9 p.m. and apologize, they ask. . .

“Did I wake you?”

 

5.  People no longer view you as a “hypochondriac.”

 

6.  There is nothing left to learn ‘the hard way.’

 

7. Things you buy now,

you won’t wear out!

 

8. You can eat Supper at 4 p.m. and catch those

Early Bird specials.

 

9. You get into heated arguments. . .

about pension plans.

 

10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

 

11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who

walks into the room.

 

12. You sing along with elevator and mall music.

 

13.  Your eyes won’t get much worse.

 

14. Your investment in health insurance is finally

beginning to pay off.

 

15. Your joints are accurate ‘meteorologists’ than the

National Weather Service.

 

16. Your secrets are safe with your friends. . .

because they can’t remember them (either!)

 

17. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to

a manageable level.

 

*18. You cannot remember the end of any of your

favorite movies or television (repeated episodes) shows.

This really helps when the ‘surprise ending’ comes along!

 

*19. Everything seems to be a glass half full, taking each

day as a special ‘new’ adventure!

 

*20.  You make good, solid friends in grocery store lines.

You even make plans to see each other next week same

time, same location! (Or you know all the library computer

lab fellow users.)

 

*Funny thing, my Mom could not find the last page of this

serial jokes list, so I made up some fun ones that hopefully

reflect my own “Glass half full, positive outlook on life!”

Robin E. Oldrieve Cochran, (1/9/15).

 

Which one of these 20 reasons to enjoy growing old, are ones

that made you laugh or reflect your feelings about aging?

 

Hope this brought a little light and smiles to your day…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some Continuing and New Threads

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The way our lives are woven together, each of us have common

threads. We have interests that are diverse, but there have been

so many times in my over two years of blogging, where I have said

something about having ‘exactly’ the same thought or ‘truly shared

moments.’ I have some bits and pieces I cull from sources, some

are ‘Aha!’ moments and others are just fun ones that don’t really

teach anything. The conversation amongst my readers has made me

feel like friends chatting about this and that. So, here are three ‘new

to me’ finds to share with you.  Hey, FUN is enough reason to do so!

 

Do you remember Dick Tracy? The comic strip or movie with Warren

Beatty? I think my brothers were the ones who made my Dad read this

comic strip aloud on Sundays. I was more interested in “Hi and Lois,”

“Dagwood” and “Peanuts.” There was an adorable and clever one box

comic, in the daily newspaper called, “Family Circle,” I really liked too.

Well, the first comic I mentioned, “Dick Tracy,” is coming true. When

he used to lean over and talk into his watch, this is ‘happening’ come

January, 2015.

Here are some examples of watches in the very near Future to check

out:

A.  Apple Watch, will cost around $350 and will include a ‘built in

fitness tracker and apps for many things to do with exercise. The

face of it looks like a mini computer. I am afraid I may need a

magnifying glass to look at this, but it is highly rated and many

are anxiously anticipating its release

B.  Samsung Neo Gear 2 Smart Watch is aimed at costing $200.

One of its most heralded feature is its portable music player. This

would be one feature that may get me to buy it!

C.  ** Dick Tracy-like, the Motorola Moto 360, has the ability to

be able to talk into it, while it is on your wrist. It is also the most

likely to ‘fool’ someone, since it looks like a real watch. It has the

traditional circular face, analog display and the highly toted,

voice-activated controls.

By the way, Dick Tracy was originally going to be called,

“Plainclothes Tracy.” Chester Gould wrote and illustrated this

comic strip from 1931 until 1977. Wow! That is a long-lasting

comic.  It was surely enjoyed for its clever story lines, some

gunfights, but the wizardry of gadgets and forensic science

were also featured. The first one was in the Detroit Mirror

newspaper, then it was syndicated throughout the U.S. via the

Chicago-New York syndication, Hearst publications. If you

have never seen the “Dick Tracy” movie, my own children

enjoyed this immensely, after my Dad bought it for them. It

has Al Pacino, Madonna, Glenne Headley and Dustin Hoffman

in the fine cast. This is filled with unique and ‘evil’ characters.

 

The upcoming Tim Burton is fascinating to me. I had two of

the paintings that are often featured with waifs with lovely and

incredibly big eyes, they are haunting in their sweet and lonely,

sad looks. They are not ones to be forgotten either. It is a shame

that the artist was taken advantaged by a man. This story will

be on my 2015 list of “Must Sees” since I am a minor league artist,

who liked to paint pictures for children and young adults. I use

pen and ink with watercolors, although have been known to do

walls, murals and hand-painted toy chests and wall borders.

The movie is called, “Big Eyes.” It has Amy Adams, who you may

have seen in the children’s animated mixed with the streets of

New York, in “Enchanted,” the war story with Tom Hanks, “Charlie

Wilson’s War,” more about fund-raising and the movement to make

an impact or in the 2013 movie, “American Hustle.” She also was

in the movie, “The Fighter” with an emaciated Christian Bale and

played a woman who enjoyed cooking like Julia Child, next to

Meryl Streep who played Julia, in “Julie/Julia.” If those aren’t

enough reason to watch this, the villain who ‘stole’ her art is

played by the brilliant character actor, Christoph Waltz. He was

in a movie playing a German in “Inglorious Basterds,” also has

been in “Django Unchained” and he is actually from Austria and

is 58 years old. (When not playing a maniac, he is quite handsome.)

 

Look who is twittering up a storm about Cleveland: Valerie Bertinelli.

I love this woman who is a dvoted Cleveland fan, even before “Hot in

Cleveland” television show came along. I think every three months I

have to remind you of the ‘genius’ in this comedic group of four famous

women who originally were ‘stuck’ in an airport in Cleveland, but found

their way to a boarding house rental with Betty White as their landlord.

Every time, I mean this, I watch this show I am almost peeing, due to

the laughter that spills out. I guess some of the Cleveland jokes bring

me back to the “Drew Carey Show,” which brings me back farther to

the lively duo of “Laverne and Shirley,” which takes me back to my

childhood love of “I Love Lucy.”

Anyway, Valerie’s son is named “Wolfie” so she posts or twitters about

Cleveland on her “Wolfiesmom” space. I don’t follow Facebook nor do

I have a clue about Twitter. I just love to read about her becoming a

household favorite for many up in Cleveland. She is married to Tom

Vitale, who has a technological company called, “Veebo.” It is like

an app, because it connects local businesses wherever you visit,

around the world to your phone. This benefits small businesses since

it increases their sales, via mobile tech-app.  Next time you are out of

town, if you had “Veebo” you could be receiving texts that offer you

discounts, coupons or free pizzas.

 

On a serious note, there is a new invention costing a couple hundred

dollars, but is well worth it to victims of brain disorders that create

poor arm and finger mobility. It is being ‘touted’ for people with

Parkinson’s Disease and other muscle disorders. But I have a friend

who works at Advance Auto who was fascinated by this news. When

he eats peas and such, he almost drops half of them. His name is

Mike, who went ‘car surfing’ in his twenties, which means he was

like an idiot, daredevil thinking he was young and would live forever,

standing atop a car which was speeding. He had severe brain injuries,

he is often at the library, playing video games, at age 38 or 40 (age

guesstimate?)  Here is the motion-stabilized spoon which is being

offered by Liftware. It creates a ‘steadier hand,’ creates balance for

people. It is a motor-driven spoon that ‘counters’ movements with

an inner mechanism.

 

Hope this was both an informative and fun post.

Do you have any new technological gadgets that we may not have

heard of or used?

I am mainly a ‘technologically impaired’ woman so any new research

or products will be appreciated.

I like to expand my horizons daily!

 

A little church humor

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When you usually think about church you may not include funny

memories.  I can remember being a single mother in Lancaster,

Ohio at the Presbyterian Church with two little ones in tow. I would

use a little ‘bribery:’ “We will go out to eat at (choose one of the

following choices) Bob Evans, Frisch’s or Jolly Pirate if you only

behave today.”  I would also include some behavior allowances for

crayons and scribbling on church bulletins and donation envelopes.

 

I have fond memories of my being at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church

in Bay Village, as a teenager. I remember our minister, Reverend Lynch,

would include the comic strip, Peanuts’ philosophy. There is a book,

“The Gospel According to Peanuts.”  I also liked his use of humor when

he would refer to other comic strip characters like the Wizard of Id,

Dagwood and Blondie.

 

Hope these chuckles bring some smiles and I hope that you will also

throw in any humorous memories of church in the comments part

of this post.

 

“This Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was ‘acting up’ during

the morning worship service. The parents did their best to maintain

some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.

Finally, the father picked the little cherub up and marched sternly

down the aisle on his way out.

Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called out

loudly to the congregation,

“Pray for me!”

 

I would like you to visualize this cute picture of carolers, one upon

the other’s shoulders, almost like the Bremen Town Musicians.

They each have their mouths wide open and above them, upon a

balcony, is a family of music ‘listeners.’

Here is the ‘punchline:’

“The Hickory Knoll Church carolers were always ready to make

necessary adjustments.”

 

“Six year old Angie and her four year old brother were sitting

together in church. Joel giggled loudly, sang a song with lots of

enthusiasm and talked out loud,

“Who’s going to stop me?”

His big sister had had enough. Angie pointed to the back of the

church,

“See those two men standing by the door?

They will!

They are the ‘hushers!'”

 

This last one reminds me a little of my waffles post.

“A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin and David.

The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother saw the opportunity to give a lesson on morals.

“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have

the first pancake. I can wait.'”

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,

“David, you be Jesus.”

 

Hope you have a relaxing, fun-filled and spiritual day.

A Tale of November Events

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Last week, the Earl of Sandwich had his special day,

We enjoy his creation of a portable edible delight.

While knowing by asking his servant to make this,

Earl was able to continue playing his game of cards.

(John Montagu, Earl of Sandwich, November 3rd)

 

Next, came the Honor Roll Call of all who have served,

The sound of a Trumpet recognizing their heroism.

Those who stayed behind needing some recognition,

Letters sent overseas showed their loving devotion.

(Veteran’s Day, November 11th)

 

Graceful origami birds are world travelers on their way,

Celebrating an intricate Japanese paper-folding craft.

The peaceful days will bring brightly colored paper,

Creating delicate treasures to hang or put on shelves.

(World Origami Days, October 24 – November 11th)

 

It began with Little Violet holding the football,

For Trusting Charlie Brown to kick.

She became scared and pulled it up and away.

From then on, Fearless Lucy was the “mean girl,”

Who every year prevented Charlie Brown’s kick.

Poor Charlie Brown, disappointed again,

Ever optimistic for the coming year.

 

November 11, 1951 (Violet) only once.

November 16, 1956 (Lucy) annually ever since.

Celebrating Memories of

Charles M. Schulz’s

“Peanuts” Gang’s

Annual Football  Ritual

 

Kindness spreads far and wide across the globe,

Adding importance to this joyful day of giving.

Find someone who is quiet or seems lonely,

Smile at neighbors and share special times.

(World Kindness Day, November 13th)

 

Purse your lips they may be sour, as in Dill,

Lick your lips they are sweet, as in Bread and Butter.

Chew and crunch down on those crisp vegetables,

Enjoy this yummy, centuries’ old way to preserve food.

(National Pickle Day, November 14th)

 

Written by Robin O. Cochran

~* 11/12/14 *~

 

 

 

Being a Senior

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There are plenty of advantages to being a senior citizen, discounted menu items

and movie tickets. I am adding some silly thoughts, thanks to John Wagner’s

creation of Maxine! Mom, my youngest brother and I watched a serious movie,

called, “Mandela: The Long Walk to Freedom” and today, my Mom and I just

watched another library DVD, “Betty and Coretta,” telling the stories of the two

women who became widows, their struggles, their speeches and impact on black

women for generations. Betty was married to Malcolm X and Coretta was married

to Martin Luther King, Jr.

What better way to ‘lighten’ our moods than opening Mom’s big envelope of funny

stories and “Maxine” clippings sent from California, Pookie. We laughed at this set

of “Yes, I’m a Senior Citizen” one-liners:

1. “I’m the life of the party…

Even if it lasts until only 8 p.m.”

 

2. “I’m very good at opening childproof caps on medications…

using a hammer.”

 

3. “I’m awake many hours before

my body allows me to get up.”

 

4. “I’m smiling all the time,

because I cannot hear a word you’r saying.”

 

5. “I’m sure everything I cannot find is

in a safe secure place…

somewhere.”

(This was one that directly applied to Mom and me,

while we searched from drawer to drawer for her

Medicare/Aetna insurance card! We found it, just in

time to leave for the ‘first doctor of the week.’)

 

6. “I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy,

and that’s just my left leg.”

 

7. “I’m beginning to realize that aging is not for cowards!”

(Maxine says, “Not for wimps.”)

 

8. “I’m having the time of my life, if I only knew which apt.

I live in!” This was a comment from an elderly woman who

was listening to the musical program here last night to my

Mom.

 

This joke made my Mom laugh but she followed it with a quick

comment, “That is kind of gross!”

 

“A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out she is taking

a nap. So he sits down in a chair in her room. He flips through a few

magazines. He munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the

table.

Eventually the aunt wakes up. Her nephew realizes he has absent-

mindedly finished up the entire bowl of nuts.

He says, “I’m so sorry, Auntie. I have eaten all your peanuts. I will

bring you some next time I come to visit.”

She replies,

“Just remember to bring me chocolate covered peanuts, as I enjoy

sucking off the chocolate. I don’t care for the peanuts part, dearie.”

 

And the last, making this an even ten funnies for this Wednesday…

“A woman meant to call a record store but dialed a private home

phone number instead.

She asked with some enthusiasm,

“Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme?’

The puzzled homeowner responded,

“Well, no, but I have a wife and eleven children.”

“Is that a record?” the woman inquired.

“I don’t think so, ” replied the man, “but it is as close as I want to get.”

 

 

Happy Hump Day and enjoy the rest of the week!

I hope

it goes

all

d

o

w

n

h

I

l

l

!