Category Archives: Connie Schulz columnist

Reflections (In the Mirror and Inner Self Awareness)

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George Orwell, sometime in his life, said these

profound words,

“At age 50, everyone has the face he deserves.”

From that thought, I will use it as a springboard

choosing a few different ages to think about and

while I reflect, it may give you some thoughts, too.

Does your face show more smiles through your

multiple laugh lines?

Do your lips show more signs of “pursed lips” due

to “tsk tsking” a few too many times? I am going to

stereotype the teachers and the librarians, (myself

having been one, my cousin the other) that we may

have given more stern looks say, then the ice cream

truck person. Or did you make it an absent minded

habit to pull your lips into a frown or by biting your

lip, pulled it in one corner or another?

Maybe you smoked and those wrinkles around your

mouth are from the “pleasure” of taking deeply

inhaled breaths of nicotine. I have heard from at

least two good friends, a brother and a meeting full

of people that it is almost easier giving up alcohol

or heroin than nicotine…

Sometimes, while younger, I depended on others to

verify or give me validation that I looked “okay.” I am

still working on this insecurity. Not sure where it came

from. I was much loved by parents, friends and most

of the time, people in general.

During my elementary years, I liked my pointy black

glasses with the sparkles in the corners that raised up.

I imagined myself a little like a cat in my appearance.

I liked my dark brown hair, when long enough to sit

on it. Then, when I tired and ached from the daily

pullings and yankings, I accidentally “groaned” or

let a little ‘yelp!’ out. That brought the end of long

hair until after high school. Mom cut it in the style

of Julie Andrews in “Sound of Music.” Never mind that

she played a character who was a nun. I got used to

that short hair. It was nice also, that during Sally Fields’

reign as “The Flying Nun,” short hair was in style.

While in Junior High, there were a few shows where

the girls had short hair (or the Mom in Partridge Family

and the Mom in the Brady Bunch.) I particularly wished

for the cute adorable short bob of a British actress

and also, Goldie Hawn, of “You bet your sweet bippie!”

fame and fortune.

I think in one’s teenager years, there is a lot of peer

pressure and self awareness. I was suddenly not so crazy

about those glasses, switching to contacts. I was still a

little awkward and a “late bloomer.” Although I joined

many clubs and belonged to the honor clubs, too, I felt

a little on the “fringe” of life. I was loved within my groups

and therefore did fine on a daily basis. There were som e

insecure moments, when the girl ask boy dances came

around, also when the times were more noticeable that

I did not have the “popular” clothes, shoes or hair style.

Time marched on. Happiness should never be fleeting,

but a continuous sense of contentment. The source of

peace came more over me, when my teachers and

parents shared this awesome thought,

“Reinvent yourself when you go off to college. Imagine

yourself popular, accepted and well defined in your goals.

Don’t focus on your imagined shortcomings.” Lots of little

tidbits and nuggets as good as gold to this young woman.

I have been feeling some joy since I have completed the

resposibilities of raising three children, along with helping

and challenging some students, child care/babysitting kids

and neighbors’ children along the way. I feel very good with

those accomplishments.

There are still bubbles of hope for finding a partner, some

say to give up the quest. I am not sure that this is the way

I would like to go. There are some who advise that someone

may enter my life when I am not looking. That is entirely

possible, but it doesn’t hurt to keep my eyes open wide for

the ones who may be a little shy or not likely to approach

me. After all, my goal is to find a partner to share the rest

of the road, holding hands, having fun that we can remind

each other of, when there may be times our memory is

a little ‘faulty.’

I like the movie, “Moonstruck,” where Cher slaps Nicholas

Cage’s face, the line, “Snap out of it!” makes me smile! It

is almost as good as this one, repeated in teen shows and

some comedies, “Get over it!” or better yet, “Get over

yourself!” Letting go of your worries, the things that weigh

you down is so important to do. I also like this little ditty

that applies to us as we get older, “Eat dessert first!”

To me, it is not so much about the content of the words

but the meaning behind them. Enjoy life and don’t wait

to get to the fun part of life!

There is a big wave of authorities and an author besides

who is emphasizing writing down what you would have

told your younger self. The “notes to self” movement is

good, maybe to teach others who have not made their

mistakes yet. But, to tell you the truth, honest to God!

If I had a time capsule and sent myself the warnings and

other pieces of sound advice I am thinking would be so

wise to impart: There is NO way I would have changed

any of my actions!

I had parents who I loved dearly and did not rebel

against since they were that good. I chose the men I

chose, who let’s face it, those are my biggest mistakes,

ALL BY MYSELF! Against advice of my parents and even

one friend of mine, too. I honored and respected my

Mom and Dad, yet went against their best guidance.

Oh well! I have to get over myself and those books or

notes to self would have been ripped up and thrown

out, sorry to say!

The best compliment is that I survived my mistakes

and I hope my face shows some of those happiest

seared into my brain and memory moments. I made

it after all!

I am well aware when I visit my mother that I may get

more forgetful, she likes to ‘hide things’ but ends up

forgetting where she hid them! I like to think it is okay

to forget because she seems so much happier, less

stressed.

The sands of time are slipping down the glassed walls

of the big timer in each of our lives. It is like a sundial

that is pointing with the shadows each day more quickly

passing to the next.

If you are like me, over fifty, there is more sand at the

bottom of the timer and less at the top. Like the gas

in your car, the gauge once it reaches below the half

way point, it seems like the gas runs out more quickly.

It would be nice to put the timer sideways, or retip it

so it will have more time left. But that is not the way

life goes.

So, cherish each grain of sand, let it be a special moment

and notice more, seek more, challenge yourself to get out

of your ‘comfort zone.’

Lastly, as you are possibly reflecting on your growth and

self awareness, have you developed some good strategies

to handle the future? Are you looking at that face with its

lines and saying, they were all worth it, each and every one?

The credit or inspiration for this post today, is from a

column Connie Schulz wrote and was published on:

February 19, 2012. She chose five face photographs and

commented on her own self awareness and ones that

were less complimentary, explaining why. The ages she

chose are interesting, too. She chose ages 12, 21, 37, 45

and 53. Connie’s story was titled, “My Story in Five Faces.”