George Orwell, sometime in his life, said these
“At age 50, everyone has the face he deserves.”
From that thought, I will use it as a springboard
choosing a few different ages to think about and
while I reflect, it may give you some thoughts, too.
Does your face show more smiles through your
multiple laugh lines?
Do your lips show more signs of “pursed lips” due
to “tsk tsking” a few too many times? I am going to
stereotype the teachers and the librarians, (myself
having been one, my cousin the other) that we may
have given more stern looks say, then the ice cream
truck person. Or did you make it an absent minded
habit to pull your lips into a frown or by biting your
lip, pulled it in one corner or another?
Maybe you smoked and those wrinkles around your
mouth are from the “pleasure” of taking deeply
inhaled breaths of nicotine. I have heard from at
least two good friends, a brother and a meeting full
of people that it is almost easier giving up alcohol
or heroin than nicotine…
Sometimes, while younger, I depended on others to
verify or give me validation that I looked “okay.” I am
still working on this insecurity. Not sure where it came
from. I was much loved by parents, friends and most
of the time, people in general.
During my elementary years, I liked my pointy black
glasses with the sparkles in the corners that raised up.
I imagined myself a little like a cat in my appearance.
I liked my dark brown hair, when long enough to sit
on it. Then, when I tired and ached from the daily
pullings and yankings, I accidentally “groaned” or
let a little ‘yelp!’ out. That brought the end of long
hair until after high school. Mom cut it in the style
of Julie Andrews in “Sound of Music.” Never mind that
she played a character who was a nun. I got used to
that short hair. It was nice also, that during Sally Fields’
reign as “The Flying Nun,” short hair was in style.
While in Junior High, there were a few shows where
the girls had short hair (or the Mom in Partridge Family
and the Mom in the Brady Bunch.) I particularly wished
for the cute adorable short bob of a British actress
and also, Goldie Hawn, of “You bet your sweet bippie!”
fame and fortune.
I think in one’s teenager years, there is a lot of peer
pressure and self awareness. I was suddenly not so crazy
about those glasses, switching to contacts. I was still a
little awkward and a “late bloomer.” Although I joined
many clubs and belonged to the honor clubs, too, I felt
a little on the “fringe” of life. I was loved within my groups
and therefore did fine on a daily basis. There were som e
insecure moments, when the girl ask boy dances came
around, also when the times were more noticeable that
I did not have the “popular” clothes, shoes or hair style.
Time marched on. Happiness should never be fleeting,
but a continuous sense of contentment. The source of
peace came more over me, when my teachers and
parents shared this awesome thought,
“Reinvent yourself when you go off to college. Imagine
yourself popular, accepted and well defined in your goals.
Don’t focus on your imagined shortcomings.” Lots of little
tidbits and nuggets as good as gold to this young woman.
I have been feeling some joy since I have completed the
resposibilities of raising three children, along with helping
and challenging some students, child care/babysitting kids
and neighbors’ children along the way. I feel very good with
There are still bubbles of hope for finding a partner, some
say to give up the quest. I am not sure that this is the way
I would like to go. There are some who advise that someone
may enter my life when I am not looking. That is entirely
possible, but it doesn’t hurt to keep my eyes open wide for
the ones who may be a little shy or not likely to approach
me. After all, my goal is to find a partner to share the rest
of the road, holding hands, having fun that we can remind
each other of, when there may be times our memory is
a little ‘faulty.’
I like the movie, “Moonstruck,” where Cher slaps Nicholas
Cage’s face, the line, “Snap out of it!” makes me smile! It
is almost as good as this one, repeated in teen shows and
some comedies, “Get over it!” or better yet, “Get over
yourself!” Letting go of your worries, the things that weigh
you down is so important to do. I also like this little ditty
that applies to us as we get older, “Eat dessert first!”
To me, it is not so much about the content of the words
but the meaning behind them. Enjoy life and don’t wait
to get to the fun part of life!
There is a big wave of authorities and an author besides
who is emphasizing writing down what you would have
told your younger self. The “notes to self” movement is
good, maybe to teach others who have not made their
mistakes yet. But, to tell you the truth, honest to God!
If I had a time capsule and sent myself the warnings and
other pieces of sound advice I am thinking would be so
wise to impart: There is NO way I would have changed
any of my actions!
I had parents who I loved dearly and did not rebel
against since they were that good. I chose the men I
chose, who let’s face it, those are my biggest mistakes,
ALL BY MYSELF! Against advice of my parents and even
one friend of mine, too. I honored and respected my
Mom and Dad, yet went against their best guidance.
Oh well! I have to get over myself and those books or
notes to self would have been ripped up and thrown
out, sorry to say!
The best compliment is that I survived my mistakes
and I hope my face shows some of those happiest
seared into my brain and memory moments. I made
it after all!
I am well aware when I visit my mother that I may get
more forgetful, she likes to ‘hide things’ but ends up
forgetting where she hid them! I like to think it is okay
to forget because she seems so much happier, less
The sands of time are slipping down the glassed walls
of the big timer in each of our lives. It is like a sundial
that is pointing with the shadows each day more quickly
passing to the next.
If you are like me, over fifty, there is more sand at the
bottom of the timer and less at the top. Like the gas
in your car, the gauge once it reaches below the half
way point, it seems like the gas runs out more quickly.
It would be nice to put the timer sideways, or retip it
so it will have more time left. But that is not the way
So, cherish each grain of sand, let it be a special moment
and notice more, seek more, challenge yourself to get out
of your ‘comfort zone.’
Lastly, as you are possibly reflecting on your growth and
self awareness, have you developed some good strategies
to handle the future? Are you looking at that face with its
lines and saying, they were all worth it, each and every one?
The credit or inspiration for this post today, is from a
column Connie Schulz wrote and was published on:
February 19, 2012. She chose five face photographs and
commented on her own self awareness and ones that
were less complimentary, explaining why. The ages she
chose are interesting, too. She chose ages 12, 21, 37, 45
and 53. Connie’s story was titled, “My Story in Five Faces.”