Category Archives: cougar

I’m Not Making This Up!

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The crazy thing is, I have written some character studies on three

homeless people around Delaware, Ohio. I have also, tried to use my

imagination and intuitiveness, to dig deeper and build these essays

to include more well-rounded characters. Well, a man who has talked

to me a few times, younger by at least ten years or more had asked

me for my phone number before.

I did not tell him my phone number. I did tell him that he seemed

‘too young’ and I had ‘enough male friends already.’ So he launched

into a lower-voiced, loud whispered ‘tirade’ against women who ‘judge’

him!

Honestly, he looks quite attractive, so that is not my reason for

not handing out my phone number.

Wait a minute! I am not known for being judgmental.

I pointed out, looking anxiously at the librarian to see if our

voices were reaching her ears, in her audible range,

“Women need to be careful about giving details to people they

really don’t know!”

Let’s start at the beginning…

This younger man I met, had introduced himself as Chad a few weeks

ago, at the library. He’s the man I may have mentioned was heading

awhile ago to Roop’s (Roop Brother’s Bar) to sing for Open Mic night.

He had asked me if I would like to join him for a drink and wait

until his turn to sing at Open Mic Night.

I had not taken him up on an offer for a drink. This may or may not

‘ring’ a bell, but since I mention lots of details, I would not expect

you to remember this one man. I liked the way he smelled, (like a

bar of Irish Spring soap!) and he wore a nice pair of blue jeans,

a plaid flannel shirt in greens. He was thin, wiry with dark ‘salt

and pepper’ hair.

I felt a little uncomfortable that time a few weeks ago, as I walked

home. Not afraid he would jump out in the alley behind the library,

but mainly contemplating my motives for not giving my phone number

out or taking him up for a simple drink out. I used to go to that

particular Thursday night regular activity, enjoying the local

musical scene, including Felicia’s friend, Morgan Treni. I spent a

few moments thinking about whether or not I had been judging him.

It could be truthfully, my decision was partly impacted by the

fact that he was also using a computer in the library.

I know, that would be kind of ‘two-faced.’ It did make me stop

and wonder whether or not to get involved.

Mainly, I am not Cher!

I am not Jennifer Lopez!

I cannot afford a younger man, who may be an aspiring singer!

This makes me smile, thinking as my mind wanders off to last

Wednesday’s “Hot in Cleveland,” show. That is a little ‘gem’

which I like to play ‘channel surfing’ with, catching glimpses

of its incredibly funny ‘take’ on older men and women’s love

lives. The bonus part is how there have been so many other

oldies show up to take a role in the show. I enjoyed when the

“Emergency!” show squad showed up, the “CHIPS” guys were in

a Cleveland bar, at the same time the characters were, etc.

Only one other post was on this subject, the one where Wendie

Malick’s character wears a product similarly to Depends.

I laughed last week, when Betty White sashayed into the room,

while the others, Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves and Wendie

Malick were sitting on the sofa and a comfy chair. Her funny

announcement, tickled me:

“I have decided to take a lover!”

The ongoing conversation stopped, of course. Another added

titillating detail was thrown out, in a provocative tone,

“And he is much younger than I am!”

She raised her eyebrow and gave each of the women in the room,

a glance or a wink. Betty White is a professional and knows how

to ‘milk’ a crowd and build great laughs. This show is ‘filmed

in front of a live audience,’ too! They were roaring and hooting,

too!

So, along with being not as rich or flamboyant as Cher or as

incredibly beautiful and hot, like Jennifer, I have to say I am

not as bold and brazen as Betty White’s character is, on that

comedy show! (By the way, if you ever get a chance to see this

show, or wish to know the background on this fantastic cast

with lots of comedic histories for each character, you can look

it up! I used to watch Wendie in “Just Shoot Me,” Jane in “Frasier,”

and Valerie Bertinelli, as a teenager in the show, “One Day at a

Time” and later, in “Touched by an Angel” and movies, too. )

So, I was busily typing and trying to get my May Monthly Calendar

rough draft completed over the weekend. I had plans to pick up

my two grandsons, we had chosen a few titles of movies, were

going to have an egg hunt, along with hiding in the dark later

that evening, using flashlights. I was dressed for the first

destination, after I picked the boys up: Mingo Park.

Chad was sitting next to me, asking me how he could set up

a wordpress account, along with his having heard there was a

website to get money for potential production of musical CD’s.

I really was mad at myself, for being ‘too friendly’ to this

man and also, for my being accessible. I could not get up

and leave my computer, get in line and get a number, since

it was one of the ‘busiest’ computer days: Saturday!

I wrote down the word, “Kickstarter” on my little pad of

paper. Whispered that he could look into this online,

for helping raise money for his CD. Then, I added,

“You could get the website printed on cards to pass out

at Open Mic nights around the city of Delaware, and even

in Columbus.”

Big mistake!

I again, had led him to believe that I cared!

“I cannot keep doing this, Robin,” I thought to myself!

The next thing, was the last straw though. You will not

believe this one!!

Chad leaned over and asked me where my apartment building

was and how much was rent there?

Of course, I got nervous. I have conflicting feelings about

helping people when the situation brings me into a position

where there is a potential for danger. Also, somehow he may

wish to use me as a reference.

I had to look Chad, who is kind of cute for a younger forty

year old man, and say:

“I cannot tell you this. Sorry, Chad!”

He got up, humphed in a tone that was loud enough to catch

the librarian’s attention and gathered his backpack and stuff.

He crumpled up the piece of paper with the word, “Kickstarter”

on it, throwing change and his wallet, along with a notebook

into the backpack.

As I was leaving awhile later, the sympathetic librarian said

to me,

“You know, he is homeless. He lives at Andrews House, in the

homeless loft.”

Of all the luck…

I will try to restrain my overactive guilty conscience and

let this one go!

Its Not Meant to Be

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An Analysis of Recent Dates

My world is spinning, things have spun out of control.

Here is a bit of advice and wisdom from someone who has

been around awhile, past fifty years.

Wearing a t-shirt to a possible picnic, okay.

Wearing a t-shrit with holes and too short so when arms

are raised, belly shows, not okay.

Bringing a gift to meet someone’s mother, appropriate

and shaving is always nice, too.

Not thinking at all of these polite gestures, seems ‘out of

touch’ and possibly lacking respect.

My Dad was a “diamond in the rough,” Mom shares on the

phone.

I prefer not to tell her the “nitty, gritty” details…

After a wonderful date, mentioning how “horny” one is,

when in your teens or twenties, okay.

When same thing happens at age forty-six, not okay.

Spending time driving home from a far off place, nice.

Driving home and saying three days are ‘just too much

time spent together’ and would ‘like to get a 12 pack’ to

help a guy move into your apt. building, to get a “buzz

on,” not nice.

Focusing on texting about my surface appearance, sounds

very sweet,

But not looking deeper, means that I am an “object.”

Daily texts exceeding 40-50 times, even while I am mentioning

I have other plans, (including relaxing), not so sweet.

Keeping in touch through phone calls and texts for confirming

plans and saying “hello,” “good morning,” and “have a good

time!” are wonderful and reassuring.

Keeping in touch, and when I don’t answer within an hour,

asking if I am “mad” or breaking up,” not normal reactions.

Dependence deserves time,

independence needs to be the “norm.”

Keeping the “ship afloat” by daily contact is a friendly habit.

Keeping “even keel” helps the boat keep moving forward

and staying “cool” is the best kind of temperament.

Constant contact prevents the fun and interesting “longing” and

“missing” each other.

Anticipation is such a sweet emotion!

I enjoyed the fun, attention and youthful energy shown for the past

month. Sometimes, though, there were some “warning signals” that

I tend to always ignore.

Steps to build and create a relationship takes lots of time and effort,

but not all at once. Establishing ground rules must be done in a way

that both parties are contributing their thoughts, values and their

preferences.

Nothing permanent for this man who really tries hard to please.

Someone out there will benefit from the shower of attention and

be happy with the possibilities.

We were faced with almost ‘polar opposite’ personalities and habits.

It would have taken too much work to make these two puzzle pieces

fit together.

There are women who don’t mind spending time and indulging their

younger men. Both sexes have those who tend to want to “mold” their

partners. There are the “cougars” who are famous for this. Then, there

are the men like Svengali and Henry Higgins (character), for example.

But, I have been the “acceptor” and the “fixer” so many times in the

past. These roles wear thin quickly at my age.

It was “fun while it lasted.” I had my hopes up but gradually, I saw the

concerns forming.

Nothing personal and I hope all who read this can find their way and

find their partner. I had parents who felt the other one was their

“better half” and “soul mate.” I wish all, out there, to have this, too.

 

Although good friends are great to have, my search continues…