Category Archives: “Dances With Wolves”

Deer Hunting Story

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Sometimes we just need a reason to laugh out loud. It may not be

intellectual or like Bob Newhart’s dry sense of humor.  It may be a

joke or a comic imitating something or someone. It could be there

really is a monkey loose down in Tampa, Florida. The city’s police

(through 9-1-1 calls) are getting lots of phone calls about the wild

animal. This is on the internet, so it must be ‘true!’

I liked this one which my Mom’s pen pal sent to me. While I was in

the dentist’s office, my hygienist who has been a younger friend of

mine for over five years, told me her current boyfriend of four years

was out hunting for deer. Then, at work this week, Cycle Count Dept.

asked for some volunteers to help out, since half their staff were out

deer hunting. So, this story may bring smiles and is definitely timed

for Ohio’s deer hunting season.

I thought this one was rather clever and had never heard it before.

I told this to my friends at lunch, which after typing this it is easier

to remember the details. They laughed and thought it was ‘cute.’

 

“One night at a local bar, frequented by the local group of deer hunters

in walked the sheriff. The men were waiting for the opening day of Deer

Hunting Season. The sheriff was scoping out the joint for possible drunk

drivers.

 

As he waited, eventually a patron stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for

his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his own.

He got inside and rested his head on the car’s steering wheel. The deputy

knew he had his first drunk driver, among the bunch of deer hunters.

So now all he had to do was wait for him to start his engine and pull out

onto the road.

 

A few hours passed by and most of the other deer hunters had left by then.

When the patron who had been sleeping or resting, while listening to his

radio, lifted his head up. He started the car, drove out of the lot like a ‘bat

out of hell.’ The deputy followed him and put his lights on, using his loud

speaker to say,

“Get out of the car, lean against the side of it, put your hands in the air.”

He immediately skipped the Sobriety Test, he knew this deer hunter’s

alcohol was high, even if he had slept it off a bit.

He administered, the Breath-O-Lizer test and it read “O.OO.”

 

Confused, the sheriff asked the driver,

“What in the world was going on?”

The driver looked at him innocently and responded respectfully,

“Well Sir, tonight I’m the “Designated Decoy.”

(The End)

 

Picture This”

A large tree, bare of leaves, with a “Warning Sign” upon it in

the woods:

“WARNING:

“BAITING DEER IS ILLEGAL

This corn pile is intended for

SQUIRRELS,

CHIPMUNKS

AND

OTHER SUCH ANIMALS.

 

ANY DEER FOUND EATING

THIS CORN

WILL BE SHOT!”

 

Do you have any tall tales from out in the wild or have you

ever gone deer, turkey, squirrel or rabbit hunting?

That last one made me think of Elmer Fudd’s going

‘wabbit hunting,’ (Bugs Bunny).

Sending you smiles. . .

“Cleveland Rocks”

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I have a follow up post about Kevin Costner and his friends,

the band he performs with, “Modern West.” When I wrote about

Kevin Costner, Jennifer Garner and the movie, “Draft Day,”

directed by Ivan Reitman, I did not have the “whole story”

to share with you! I had started by writing one post about

the movie being filmed in Cleveland and its “calling it a

wrap” around Thanksgiving!

The Brothers Lounge in Cleveland hosted Kevin Costner and

Modern West to a packed audience, all enjoying the music

with a few brews being consumed by members of the band,

actors and the “general population” who assembled there. I

am glad to say that Kevin Costner consumed a pop, Coke,

instead of partying like the others. It is always “refreshing”

(not to just drink a Coke! See advertising placement! No

money being exchanged, though. Darn!) to have a famous person

sharing and trading stories, along with setting a “good”

example for young movie goers who follow his actions closely.

The Modern West band is a country-rock band and performed lively

tunes, including “Red River.” Kevin Costner’s daughter, Lily,

played as a guest that night, on her guitar and joining in

by singing the songs with the band.

Kevin Costner often plays quiet parts, an easy going man, but

not very effusive or outgoing. I was pleased to hear that he

is a warm and friendly man, one reviewer, my old high school

cohort, Michael Heaton was writing about the stories Costner

told between songs, also friendly banter about Cleveland

Indians and thanking Cleveland for being so gracious and open

to the film being made in our town. It is appropriate that he

mention baseball movies because, even though I am not a sports

aficionado, I appreciate the Browns and the Indians. I expect

guests to our town to show their interest and enthusiasm to

the local teams, by ‘shouting out’ a word of encouragement.

I also have watched the beautiful movie, “Field of Dreams”

and humorous movie, “Bull Durham,” with Kevin Costner acting

in them. It is only “fair” to reciprocate to Cleveland, since

we have been faithful viewers of his fantastic movies!

Kevin Costner shared that his father was not too “keen” on his

being an actor and did not approve of pursuing his dream of

acting. It was not until his father watched Costner’s movie

directorial debut with “Dances with Wolves” that he earned his

respect. All of the audience could relate to disappointing Dads

sometime or other!

A funny comment about not drinking but enjoying watching others

came at the end of his rocking out the place, Costner says

Cleveland is known for their beer drinking ways. He added,

“You have not lived, until you’ve seen a girl from Cleveland

suck down an ice-cold beer. It’s really something to see!”

Lots of laughing followed that closing joke!

Wish I could say I was there but I was glad to hear both

the television news story and read the “Minister of Culture,”

Mike Heaton’s story. I have mentioned him before, his column

in the Cleveland Plain Dealer is a must-read when I travel

home, mostly because he graduated from Bay High with me,

but I always add a ‘shout out’ to his sister, Patricia Heaton,

who ably had us laughing on “Everybody Loves Raymond” but

pulls my heart strings for her being so “real” on the comedy

show, “The Middle.” Now, they just have to talk Kevin Costner

into coming to our 40th high school reunion in 2014!