Category Archives: dating

White Lace and Promises

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There once was a girl who was from a different elementary school from my children’s

school. There are five elementary schools, hers was Conger, my kids went to Smith.

She lived across the street from us, she became ‘fast friends’ one summer, when she

found out my youngest daughter was going to Willis Middle School in the fall with

her. We had just moved in, when they met on the sidewalk. Soon, the two girls were

inseparable. They would go down to the pool, they would go to Blue Limestone Park

and travel around the neighborhood, upon their bikes.

This girl is named Holly, my daughter is Felicia. They would call each other up, on

land line telephones. I look at my same land line phone, set up in my current apt. and

remember that there was a chair in our foyer, this white telephone with its gold edges

and push button numbers was one I have a photograph with Felicia talking to the girl

who lived across the street. Why weren’t they visiting, instead of on the phone? I am

not sure but this was an age when ‘grounding’ occurred, sometimes as the meted out

punishment.

Soon Holly would call up and ask what we were having for dinner, she liked the way

I ‘grilled’ the hot dogs in butter in a skillet, the way I used a can of spaghetti sauce,

(Hunts brand, mushroom sauce) adding oregano, basil and onion salt. She thought

it was fun to come over and eat dinner, sometimes lingering around in the back yard

with Felicia, pretending they were acrobats and other imaginary circus players on

our wooden ‘gym set.’ Often, one or the other home would be the place they had a

‘sleepover.’

These two friends went through high school, joining soccer and basketball together,

along with their separate interests. Felicia quit soccer, to become a Cross Country

runner, Holly became a cheerleader. They shared a lot of common thoughts and

goals. They both were runners-up, or ‘contestants’ for Homecoming Queen, their

senior year. They shared a great graduation party held at the Delaware County

Fair, where the cost of $200 was divided up amongst five good and solid friends.

All five girls went off to college, staying in touch, going and visiting each other’s

campuses.

The first of the original five friends is getting married today. I have to choose

between three dresses to wear, my youngest daughter wishes me to wear the

longest, new dress. It is a sleeveless dress, with cream, pastel peach, tan and

black details geometric dress. She helped me choose it a young people’s

clothing store, called “Forever Twenty-One.” I have a beautiful autumn mid-

length dress I wore at my son’s wedding six years ago. It has a brighter fall

colors palette with a lovely sweater I could wear over it. I have only worn it

twice. Once on a date and possibly today. The third choice of dresses is a

right below the knee dress, with more ‘pizzazz’ which I have never worn;

like the first choice. It has a jeweled burnt orange diamond that makes my

bodice area look more fuller, with the way it creates folds on both sides of

the diamond. It has the deepest autumn colors which includes swirls and

paisley designs. I went from the pastels in the first, the medium tones in

the second and the deeper ‘jewel’ tones in the last one, with a brighter

orange, olive green and cream background. Each one I will probably wear

gray or tan hose, black velvet pumps and they are about 3 inches high. I

don’t like the brown purse, brown set of shoes I tried all three on, although

you would think they would ‘match’ the fall colors, the black outlines in

each dress seems to need black shoes and purse.

My best girlfriend, Jenny, and I were discussing the 3:30 wedding and

the evening reception. It is not going to start much past 5:00 since even

the longest wedding would not go on that long. She left the length question

unanswered, as a good friend she just said, “Wear whichever you feel you

look best in. Don’t worry about the length.”

After looking at George Clooney and recent bride, Amal’s wedding photos,

studying the guests, I saw no one except the bridal party wearing long

dresses. It put doubts into my youngest daughter’s reassurances about the

sleeveless dress, the first choice I described. Since today’s high may be too

cool to take off the sweater chosen for this dress. (Black with black with gold

edged buttons.) I have a burnt orange colored stone necklace for the two

other dresses, which was made by an artist, looks very stunning with v-neck

dresses, as the two mid-length and knee-length dresses.

My youngest daughter is not a bridesmaid in this wedding, not sure of who

was chosen, since I will find out when I go to the wedding. Felicia was chosen

to read the quotation taken from the end of the 2001 “Love Actually” British

movie. It is meaningful, powerful and brings tears to my eyes. About airports,

greetings and partings, how the world changed for some from 9/11/01 World

Trade Center bombings, but how people still embrace and have hope for Love.

 

White lace and promises, most may remember is taken from that all-time

favorite wedding song of the 70’s through today by the Carpenters:

“We’ve Only Just Begun.”

Memories of a friendship that traveled over the years, through thick and

thin, to transformation of closeness and dear friendship to where they are

right now, Felicia will have a special and meaningful place in the story.

 

It will be forever changed when Holly marries Nate today on October 4, 2014.

They dated for four years, they have been engaged for a year now and own a

home together.

Best wishes for happiness to the Bride (who is like a daughter) and Groom!

Makes me hum the song, “Through the Years,” which Kenny Rogers sang.

Loose Remnants

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I am writing a short post to let you know that I will be going on vacation up in

Sunny Cleveland! I enjoy Lake Erie, my Mom’s company and my brothers and

sister in law, who all fit in visits or invitations for me to accompany them to a

meal out. This means that I may get a chance to use the public computer that

is located in the Pub. I can listen to the sound of men playing poker, women who

gather in the a.m. to do “Wi” exercises or possibly have to wait for the entire

week for the woman who is addicted to “Candy Crush” and “Farm Hero Saga”

games!

I have a funny and interesting ‘library intrigue’ that you may be curious to know

about! My good coworker friends and happily married girlfriends are always

probing for any little morsels of ‘single-dom’ that I may share with them.

This one almost ‘takes the cake’ for winners! A woman who I met in AAUW, was

my editor of my (I was President) monthly newsletter and became a close friend

since 1993, got divorced in 2009. Her husband is always waving and looking

at me at the library. I smile and nod, being cordial and polite. I would never look

twice at him, “Joe’s” not my ‘type’ at all!

Last Thursday, as I was hurrying out of the library, to pack up and get ready to leave

after work on Friday for my super wedding extravaganza weekend, “Joe” handed me

a note.

Now, if you have ‘followed’ me for awhile, I have received offers for many things, in

the months that have passed since my youngest daughter ‘left me’ to live in Columbus

with her laptop! I have had an invitation to go out for a “fast food dinner,” followed

within an hour of the invitation, by a wife standing behind him, her  hands on his

shoulders, saying, “Are you ready to go now, dear!” Really! The ‘nerve’ of some people!

He must have meant very fast food!)

I got invited t join a nearly homeless man at Open Mic night at Roop’s. I still talk to

this man, Chad.

I had received a longer letter from someone named “Roger,” who had explained why

he was probably not the ‘right man’ for me, saying he had run one of the bowling

alleys here in town, had moved to Florida and was interested in taking me out to

eat using a gift card that he had received from his daughter in the mail that week.

(I forget, was it Father’s Day? a holiday?)

I was offered a Pupperoni (yes! for dogs!) stick which the man meant to be handing

me a Slim Jim! and other silly antics that somehow I provoke out of men!

This one, though, took me by surprise.

I went out to the car and opened Joe’s note that was carefully folded in two. It held

a short but neatly written note, asking if I would find a “different venue” for continuing

a conversation, choosing a place where I would feel comfortable and the last line

shocked me a bit!

It said, “And if you are feeling frisky, it can be at your house or mine.” It was signed

with husband of my good friend, who moved first to Dublin, Ohio while divorcing her

“Joe.” Then,  when her son graduated from college,  she moved out to Sacramento.

Now, she has chosen to live in Las Vegas, where her son got transferred.

Of course, I know lots of sordid details of their marriage, none of them appealing to

me, in the least!

Now, if it had been the ‘randy’ firefighter who had showed his hose, demonstrating

his prowess to over 50 lovers all across town, various professions, including a female

gynecologist. If it had been my acquaintance’s ex-husband, Jerry, I may have said,

“If you have your shots records, plenty of condoms and a plan to ‘wine and dine’ me,

Maybe I will go with you!” (Sorry, acquaintance who is a distant ‘friend’ since I don’t

feel I owe you anything, in the way of manners!) Additional information: Just kidding!

I am meeting a mutual friend of this couple, “Joe” and his ex, tonight for a coffee and

dessert. I may show her the note, since it is hardly of much interest to my children or

other family members. Someone needs to give me an opinion. I am ‘torn’ whether or

not to let my long distance close friend know about the note. Maybe she will laugh?

Maybe it is still a sore subject? My friend, Jenny, will let me know and I bet it will

be advice to:

“Keep your mouth shut, Robin!”

Talk to you soon, hope you have a grand and exciting week!

I will have some moments where I will try to sneak onto that one computer at

Mom’s Senior Living Apartments!

Happy Fourth of July, too!

 

 

I’m Not Making This Up!

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The crazy thing is, I have written some character studies on three

homeless people around Delaware, Ohio. I have also, tried to use my

imagination and intuitiveness, to dig deeper and build these essays

to include more well-rounded characters. Well, a man who has talked

to me a few times, younger by at least ten years or more had asked

me for my phone number before.

I did not tell him my phone number. I did tell him that he seemed

‘too young’ and I had ‘enough male friends already.’ So he launched

into a lower-voiced, loud whispered ‘tirade’ against women who ‘judge’

him!

Honestly, he looks quite attractive, so that is not my reason for

not handing out my phone number.

Wait a minute! I am not known for being judgmental.

I pointed out, looking anxiously at the librarian to see if our

voices were reaching her ears, in her audible range,

“Women need to be careful about giving details to people they

really don’t know!”

Let’s start at the beginning…

This younger man I met, had introduced himself as Chad a few weeks

ago, at the library. He’s the man I may have mentioned was heading

awhile ago to Roop’s (Roop Brother’s Bar) to sing for Open Mic night.

He had asked me if I would like to join him for a drink and wait

until his turn to sing at Open Mic Night.

I had not taken him up on an offer for a drink. This may or may not

‘ring’ a bell, but since I mention lots of details, I would not expect

you to remember this one man. I liked the way he smelled, (like a

bar of Irish Spring soap!) and he wore a nice pair of blue jeans,

a plaid flannel shirt in greens. He was thin, wiry with dark ‘salt

and pepper’ hair.

I felt a little uncomfortable that time a few weeks ago, as I walked

home. Not afraid he would jump out in the alley behind the library,

but mainly contemplating my motives for not giving my phone number

out or taking him up for a simple drink out. I used to go to that

particular Thursday night regular activity, enjoying the local

musical scene, including Felicia’s friend, Morgan Treni. I spent a

few moments thinking about whether or not I had been judging him.

It could be truthfully, my decision was partly impacted by the

fact that he was also using a computer in the library.

I know, that would be kind of ‘two-faced.’ It did make me stop

and wonder whether or not to get involved.

Mainly, I am not Cher!

I am not Jennifer Lopez!

I cannot afford a younger man, who may be an aspiring singer!

This makes me smile, thinking as my mind wanders off to last

Wednesday’s “Hot in Cleveland,” show. That is a little ‘gem’

which I like to play ‘channel surfing’ with, catching glimpses

of its incredibly funny ‘take’ on older men and women’s love

lives. The bonus part is how there have been so many other

oldies show up to take a role in the show. I enjoyed when the

“Emergency!” show squad showed up, the “CHIPS” guys were in

a Cleveland bar, at the same time the characters were, etc.

Only one other post was on this subject, the one where Wendie

Malick’s character wears a product similarly to Depends.

I laughed last week, when Betty White sashayed into the room,

while the others, Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves and Wendie

Malick were sitting on the sofa and a comfy chair. Her funny

announcement, tickled me:

“I have decided to take a lover!”

The ongoing conversation stopped, of course. Another added

titillating detail was thrown out, in a provocative tone,

“And he is much younger than I am!”

She raised her eyebrow and gave each of the women in the room,

a glance or a wink. Betty White is a professional and knows how

to ‘milk’ a crowd and build great laughs. This show is ‘filmed

in front of a live audience,’ too! They were roaring and hooting,

too!

So, along with being not as rich or flamboyant as Cher or as

incredibly beautiful and hot, like Jennifer, I have to say I am

not as bold and brazen as Betty White’s character is, on that

comedy show! (By the way, if you ever get a chance to see this

show, or wish to know the background on this fantastic cast

with lots of comedic histories for each character, you can look

it up! I used to watch Wendie in “Just Shoot Me,” Jane in “Frasier,”

and Valerie Bertinelli, as a teenager in the show, “One Day at a

Time” and later, in “Touched by an Angel” and movies, too. )

So, I was busily typing and trying to get my May Monthly Calendar

rough draft completed over the weekend. I had plans to pick up

my two grandsons, we had chosen a few titles of movies, were

going to have an egg hunt, along with hiding in the dark later

that evening, using flashlights. I was dressed for the first

destination, after I picked the boys up: Mingo Park.

Chad was sitting next to me, asking me how he could set up

a wordpress account, along with his having heard there was a

website to get money for potential production of musical CD’s.

I really was mad at myself, for being ‘too friendly’ to this

man and also, for my being accessible. I could not get up

and leave my computer, get in line and get a number, since

it was one of the ‘busiest’ computer days: Saturday!

I wrote down the word, “Kickstarter” on my little pad of

paper. Whispered that he could look into this online,

for helping raise money for his CD. Then, I added,

“You could get the website printed on cards to pass out

at Open Mic nights around the city of Delaware, and even

in Columbus.”

Big mistake!

I again, had led him to believe that I cared!

“I cannot keep doing this, Robin,” I thought to myself!

The next thing, was the last straw though. You will not

believe this one!!

Chad leaned over and asked me where my apartment building

was and how much was rent there?

Of course, I got nervous. I have conflicting feelings about

helping people when the situation brings me into a position

where there is a potential for danger. Also, somehow he may

wish to use me as a reference.

I had to look Chad, who is kind of cute for a younger forty

year old man, and say:

“I cannot tell you this. Sorry, Chad!”

He got up, humphed in a tone that was loud enough to catch

the librarian’s attention and gathered his backpack and stuff.

He crumpled up the piece of paper with the word, “Kickstarter”

on it, throwing change and his wallet, along with a notebook

into the backpack.

As I was leaving awhile later, the sympathetic librarian said

to me,

“You know, he is homeless. He lives at Andrews House, in the

homeless loft.”

Of all the luck…

I will try to restrain my overactive guilty conscience and

let this one go!

Going for Brighter Colors & Changes

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I complimented the librarian in the computer area today.

She has a habit of wearing blacks, browns and grays.

There have been occasionally some varying tones in her

clothing choices, with an addition of little bits of color.

Having talked to her often, observed her grading high

school papers, and knowing she is a volunteer after

teaching all day, I was thrilled to see more color in

her attire today.

The woman looked up from her work, giving me a brilliant

smile. She informed me that her husband had encouraged her

to ‘change up’ her color palette in her wardrobe. She added

this personal detail- she was working on waiting to lose a

certain amount of weight, before buying her new sized,

Spring and Summer clothes.

I mentioned to her that was an excellent reward system

she had going on! I gently suggested to just buy a few

scarves or tops, showing that she had listened to her

husband. Just in case she thought I was being too ‘pushy,’

or opinionated, I added, “It is always nice to have their

‘permission to spend money on ourselves.'”

Then, it was an even more intimate moment we shared. We

both smiled like we had shared an ‘inside joke’ or secret.

I took my seat and then, decided to let all of you out

there, men, women and young people who may be following

my blog in on the secret! Try out a different style,

new color or add patterns to your clothes…

Spice up your wardrobe!

It is fun to pass on a good idea and since some live

on a simpler, tighter budget, like myself, go on over

to your local resale shop or thrift store to rejuvenate

your ‘look!’

As a way to create conversation, my brother, Randy the

artist painted on a white linen jacket, billowing aqua,

turquoise and creamy-colored clouds for an art gallery

opening, held in California. He is one who looks quite

dapper, although his FB page is not so great, he has lost

weight and cut his hair, so he also needs to ‘change up!’

When I thought about my last years of teaching, I had

a rainbow of colors every day reflected in my clothing.

My other brother, the professor, loves it when I buy

him ‘cool’ ties. He likes school related theme ties,

along with ones that just have music, art or jazz

up his ‘look.’ Trying something new is good for all

of us, both sexes, wherever we work or go out and

about in society. It may just create a little magic

for you and your special person, or attract someone

who has not noticed you before.

At my current job, I tend to wear those dismal colors

of black, gray, brown and an occasional dark blue. This

had been my mode of operandi to prevent damage and stains

that are impossible to get out of my work clothes. It is a

dirty place; lots of times I look like ‘Pigpen’ from the

Charles Schulz comic strip, “Peanuts!”

Wouldn’t it be nice to just go ahead and wear some

colorful patterns that are more exciting looking to my

current workplace?

I mean, less drab… Maybe this would encourage others to

‘cross over to the sunny side of the street.’ I definitely

feel the need to get out of my rut!

I read a book recently on relationships written by Sara

Eckel. It was called, “It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons

You’re Single,” (208 pages) If you are thinking about the

current dating scene, if you have someone you know who is,

or if you just are curious about the newer way things are

going out in a different facet of society…

Check this book out! It is a funny, interesting and

enlightening guidebook for the newly single people out

there, for ones who wonder,

“Why on Earth was it so easy back when I dated the last

time? And now, it is nearly impossible!”

The author approaches the subject in a very positive

manner, where she insists it is not you being anyone

that is repelling the opposite sex away. She thinks it

is just you haven’t met the right person yet!

I have paraphrased the following section, in my own

words, with my personal ‘slant’ added:

One of the myths that she ‘de-bunks’ is for example,

1. “You are too needy.”

No. that is not why you haven’t attracted someone to you.

Another one is,

2. “You are unrealistic.”

No, if is okay to have goals, choices and favorite attributes

(and values) in mind when you are seeking to find another

person to possibly spend the rest of your life with.

This one I have heard before,

3. “You are too picky.”

This was something someone said to me recently. That

comment really ‘got under my ‘craw,’ I will tell you!

I think that having been married three times, I should

know what works, what didn’t and hopefully, once and for

all, I should make plans and lists and actually, use them!

I need to understand what are the characteristics I am

looking for and then, not ‘sway’ too much from the

outline. Nice people don’t mean they are good matches.

Not just fall for the next guy who buys me dinner!

The author’s great question addresses why have we become

a society where we assign blame for being particular and

trying to make good choices?

Here are Sara Eckel’s own words on the subject:

“We’re a nation that believes strongly in personal efficacy–

if there’s something in your life that isn’t working quite

the way you’d like, then the problem must begin and end

with you.”

The myths include how we view ourselves through other’s

eyes, instead of relying on our own common sense.

Here are two more myths, to share with you.

4. “You’re too intimidating.”

5. “You should have married that guy.”

Don’t listen to the ones who tend to place the blame

on you. Make sure that you surround yourself with

supportive people who are cheering for you and wish

that you will find someone to be your partner or

close friend of the opposite sex. The important thing

to remember isn’t,

“Why are you still single?”

but “Why are near strangers so often compelled to

comment or demand answers.” I wish to add, sometimes

family members and your best friends may be part of

the naysayers. You need to develop a positive attitude

where you can deflect their comments and act like you

are doing ‘just fine’ without the negative opinions.

Hope this helps everyone in some aspect of their life.

I highly recommend this ‘no nonsense’ book and trying

out a new way of doing something. Hair style, clothing

style or the way you walk, with your confidence showing,

shoulders back and a broad smile to carry you and others

through their days.

Strange Changes

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This is going to be filled with mysteries and wonders.

Well, mainly situations that are confusing to me!

I could have just as well named this: “Texts and Subtexts.”

In no particular order, I begin with a man who is about

my age. He has been rather friendly at the library on a few

occasions. He has told me things about his dogs around the

holidays. I may have written about him before.

We have been elbow to elbow, on side by side computers

several times. Each time he has been open and gregarious.

Our conversations usually impart brief details.

His sister lives in California.

There is a unique company that makes ‘dog booties’ to keep

big and small animals’ paws warm in the cold weather.

What did I know about this subject?

I knew that I have seen little dogs, like my Mom’s ‘other’

dog, who lives with my brother and sister in law, (Bella)

wear sweaters but, no, honestly their Golden Retriever and

Newfoundland relish and roll around in snow.

This man is named Roger, introduced himself one late

afternoon, before Saturday’s library closing time. He

wondered,

“Would you like to grab a quick dinner since I have to

get home in time to walk my dogs?”

He went on to explain he has two large dogs.

I smiled telling him that I had shared, in a past talk,

that my brother and his wife also had two big dogs.

Roger didn’t seem to notice that we had had more than a

conversation or two.

I pondered, I stalled and then, due to a certain weird

inner feeling, I declined and told him,

“Thank you anyway.”

About five minutes later, he chose to rummage through his

back pack, taking things out of it, kind of piling them

close to my ‘space.’ The last thing he pulled out of

this mess was a familiar looking plastic bag with a

famous dog ‘treat’ name on it. He did not seem to be

noticing this, pulling out a long ‘Pupperoni.’ As I was

looking at him, sideways, I pulled in my breath, producing

an exclamatory,

“Huh!”

He looked down and then, of course, he told me he thought

he had grabbed a different kind of snack to nibble on. I

let it go, but he started to tell me he loves ‘Slim Jim’s’

and they look just like this. I nodded my head and kept on

blogging.

It did seem rather funny, but I kept my sniggering at him,

inside me!

Early this week I saw Roger and there were no other

computers available, except the one beside him. I sat down

and said a quiet and polite, “Hi.”

I started taking out my story about Mom and our visit over

the weekend. He looked at me closely and said,

“Hey, I asked you out a few weeks’ back, didn’t I?”

I whispered back,

“Yes, how have you been?”

(Hard to break my politeness, even when I was trying to put

him off.)

He answered that it was finally clearing up and the

weather was getting warmer by Valentine’s Day.

I (seriously) did not respond or ‘bite on that lure.’

This is the puzzling thing, as I was packing up and

putting my notebook, gloves and pen away in my own bag,

I saw a woman approach Roger from the back of his chair.

She placed both hands on his shoulders and asked,

“Are you ready to go, honey?”

Not cool, Roger!

I wonder if I had chosen to go out for that ‘quick bite’

a few weeks’ ago, what kind of story he would have told,

upon arriving home,

full of food?

Hmmm…

My dear, old friend, Bill, has been the subject of at least

once a month stories, due to our First Friday’s out and our

having been friends, parents of children who are also

friends and our two oldest daughters are still coworkers.

He has been in a six to eight month relationship with a

younger woman named, Heather. We have spent at least a

half hour or more each month dissecting someone I have

been interested in, past or present, and more than that

about his ‘girlfriend.’ They have taken a ‘break’ from

being physically involved, but they spend every work break

(third shift, so I don’t see them, except as they leave) and

many mornings after Bill drives her children to school.

This is not an unusual circumstance, people remain friends

after they have ‘broken up,’ but this next part is the very

confusing “news.”

Bill is moving into Heather’s apartment building, which

is actually a large, older home that has been sectioned

off into four or five apartments. She will live on a

different floor in her own apartment, with her children

and she will also be his ‘on site’ apartment manager.

I am wondering how I would survive this new arrangement,

with ANY of the diverse men I have dated and then, ‘moved

on’ from?

Good luck on that, Bill! And I expect to hear more of

the different details of your inexplicable, crazy life!

Melvin was open to answering questions about the Beatles

and his girlfriend, during a recent break at work. He

feels that the Beatles’ influences are too numerous to

even contemplate! His favorite songs from their career

include, “Get Back, Jo Jo!” and “Give Peace a Chance.”

When I asked him, “What are your plans for Valentine’s

Day?”

He responded that his girlfriend of over fifteen years,

who he lives with, and he were planning to go the base

commissary to pick up some groceries. Also, that they might

eat lunch out, since we expect to be out of our work by

ten thirty or eleven o’clock, tomorrow.

I asked this normally affectionate and warm man, to all

around him, what was Melvin’s special gift he was giving her?

In his rarely used, ‘cocky’ attitude voice, he responded,

“Why, Robin, she will receive the pleasure of my company!”

My response was to roll my eyes at him, head out of the

break room and back to work!

As I was leaving, Melvin almost ran to catch up with me,

asking me if I would like him to buy a bottle of Tart

Cherry juice for my gift from him, at the commissary?

(He says this cures all ills you may have. He has tried

to campaign for me to start using this antidote to the

different aches and pains that I sometimes join in with

others who are complaining.)

Much later, digging himself into a hole, Melvin said that

he wished I would go swimming with his girlfriend and

himself at the local YMCA, and added,

“With a bikini on!”

Men!

The man who I have mentioned, Mark, who is my coworker

who has my phone number and we have had some great and

revealing conversations with told me about his fears

about his mother in this inclement weather. Mark has

been noticeably absent recently and I was glad to hear

that his reason is that if ice or cold would somehow

effect the electricity at his rural located house, he

needs to be there to start the ‘back up generator.’

I was glad to hear that his mother and he were not sick

and wished him a good weekend, when I was leaving to

head to my Mom’s. I was pleased to have him worry about

my traveling back on Sunday, too.

If this is going to develop into a relationship, it is

looking like it will take awhile. It’s moving at a

snail’s pace. Or slower than molasses!

Back to the subject of men and their approaches to life.

I am wondering if you have ever thought I would be open

to beginning an affair or flirtatious email interactions

with a man in a committed relationship?

Do I give off these ‘vibes?’

I wondered about this and my closest girlfriend says, “No

way! You have blogged about your ex-husband and how you

don’t have a broken moral compass. Also, you have only

said, ‘hugs’ when writing notes online, and you would

never do this, Robin!”

I have had that man at the library (who now we all know

is married) and a man who asked for my email address who

complained about his relationship with his wife. I have

been on a fellow blogger’s site where I have spent a

few conversations pressing my opinion that it is good

to try new things with your partner. I have also recommended

counseling and the movie, “Hope Springs” is rather explicit

in handling a love life that has turned into a ‘desert.’

And I mean an arid desert not a delicious dessert!

Anyway, I was disheartened with this personal exchange from

someone who has responded on my blog, although you would

not remember him, since his is very infrequent in his

comments.

I guess I just wanted to ask this question, letting you

know (and possibly visitors here, too) that I would not

want to get involved with a man who is either in a

marriage or a committed relationship. I don’t judge you

or anyone else, if you do this… Just don’t ask me to!

I would go back to my Pierce Brosnan, look alike, ex-husband

and have an affair…if I didn’t have a conscience.

(He has been married for over 20 years but pitches a campaign

once a year for me to ‘fool around’ with him.)

I would not go with any strangers nor participate in said,

“dirty talk” that you find in chat rooms, as this fellow

blogger suggested I do.

My politeness and indirect approach may have not been

understandable to the reader.

My direct approach with this subject and controversy is

hopefully clear as glass that has been polished with a

cleaning product like Windex!

Lastly, on this subject, I have never quite known what

Meatloaf, the singer, meant in his song,

“I Would Do Anything For Love.”

In my case, “I would NOT do that!”

Thanks for ‘listening’ to me.

Happy Valentine’s Day tomorrow!

Local Nightlife

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In preparing information to present on my blog about

Super Bowl XLVIII, I found a lot of exciting articles

about Columbus nightlife. I was originally going to just

list some sports bars that feature large screen televisions

where it would be fun to be out with a ‘gang’ of friends.

This evolved more into local night life choices including

areas around central Ohio. I included some nice choices to

be found, also, in Delaware, Ohio.

If you are going out in C-Town, otherwise known as Columbus,

you may start in the Arena Grand District. You would find quite

a variety of places, some are restaurants and others may have

appetizers or snacks, but are mainly bars. Frequent Blue Jackets

fans already know of the choices down around the hockey team’s

location. Others may have walked from the Clippers baseball,

our local Triple A farm team for other major league teams, at

Huntington Park.

The Arena District is built on a 22 acre downtown piece of

property formerly where the Ohio Penitentiary was built. The

single most worst prison fire in U.S. history occurred on this

plot of land. This was the one-time home of Mobster Bugs Moran,

also. The Prison sold in 1995 and flattened to be used for

this sporting arena area, along with multiple other businesses.

In the term of time, this is one of our most recent ‘wonders’

that makes if fun to take tourists to.

The “R Bar” is an example of a sports bar with flat screens

and “The Lodge Bar” is one that has a nice dance floor and

social atmosphere. There are hotels to stay overnight and

taxis to take the ones who imbide too much alcohol back to

their lofts or apartments locally, or for a much higher

cost, somewhere farther away. I used to like to go out for

a lively time with a date or girlfriend to a place called

Frog, Bear and Wild Boar. I am so glad that I looked this

one up to find out it closed and reopened as simply the

Frog Bear Bar. It has a nice sized bar, along with great

decorations. I have eaten snacks there, while waiting for

a game or after a game. Also, if you go to the L-C, the

Lifestyles Pavilion, where there is a concert, it is great

to be able to keep your car parked in its original location

and head over for an after-entertainment drink! I had an Irish

coffee on St. Patrick’s Day a couple years ago, here.

Since they also took out the City Center, one of my favorite

shopping places during the nineties, there is the Columbus

Commons, where a gorgeous hand-carved Carrousel is featured.

I heard several bands playing over the past few years on this

grounds. Within walking distance of the Columbus Commons is

the Scioto Mile, the Scioto River and the River Walk. There

are Waterfire events that bring many people into Columbus

in the summer time. The restaurants remain, reservations can

still be made in colder weather times, too.

The Short North renovation occurred over time, but the real

“choice” restaurants of Rigsby’s Cuisine which became Rigsby’s

Kitchen, Tasi Café, Hype Park, Sully Girl Saloon and others

have made this area topnotch. I am sure that there are ones

you will want to look them up, that are equally tasty as these

finds I have actually gone into! Kent Rigsby, who was a famous

restauranteur in New York City, came here with his wife, to

what he calls, “Little Brooklyn.”

To the South, no longer within walking distance to the

Downtown, is the traditional, charming and filled with

character area called German Village. The famed Lindey’s

Restaurant has been there for over 30 years, as Schmidt’s

has been around since 1886. The beautiful and artsy place

where politicians and other ‘movers and shakers’ come to

eat is, Barcelona. You may get your sandwiches prepared at

Katzinger’s Deli, to go and sit at Schiller Park in the

summer. Thurman’s restaurant with the famous huge hamburgers

is located down in that center of culture, too. By the way,

Delaware, Ohio is getting a “Son of Thurman’s!!” We are so

excited by the honor of their choosing our small, college

town, to fill the place where Nova’s Restaurant vacated,

on Sandusky Street.

Since partying includes beverages, I wished to include a

few local treasures of such alcoholic drinks. Watershed

Distillery uses local suppliers to brew and bottle their

‘hooch.’ They supply over 400 central Ohio restaurants,

along with liquor stores and buyers in Ohio.

In the Arena Grand area, Greg Lehman and Dave Rigo have

founded this company, Watershed Distillery, where you can

go in, buy a bottle of vodka, some of the money ending up

here, locally. Good to know you are filling the local

Farmer’s pockets in Ohio. The box-maker is from Mt. Vernon,

Ohio.

In the Short North district, Middle West Spirits, also

featuring vodkas made in Ohio. They have a soft red winter

wheat grown locally, used as its base ingredient.

Camelot Winery is located on High Street, in the Short

North. It is a pleasant, atmospheric place to indulge

in a glass of wine. They open their doors in the fall to

let the First Saturday of the Month, Gallery Hop people

come in and sit in their wicker basket chairs, or belly

up to the beautiful wooden bar. They have some fair prices

here, too. Otherwise, on a hot, summer’s evening, you may

choose to get out of the heat, and enter the air-conditioned

winery. I have wandered in, for all four seasons of the

year, finding it to be one that attracts over 40 clientele.

Here is a quick summary of fun places to see in Delaware,

with a fact or two about each. BW3’s has been recently in

the past five years renovated and you would travel west

out of the downtown area of Delaware to find it near Houk Rd.

While out in that western quadrant, you may try the sizzler

steaks at the Brown Jug Restaurant. Just a note, if you have

traveled here before, years ago, downtown we had a fantastic

simple and delicious restaurant called the Little Brown Jug,

that lasted for many years. This closed and the newer place,

in a plaza off of Houk Road is not run by the same owners.

Barley Hopster’s and Staufs’ are located in other areas,

both serve a variety of well drinks, along with ales and

brews. They each have a different atmosphere, I would suggest

stopping into these downtown bars and deciding for yourself,

where you want to plant yourself to watch a game or talk to

neighbors and friends. For OSU fans, there is no bigger set

of large screens, almost like movie screen sizes than the

ones found at the Final Score. I make this a destination on

certain nights during the week, when my budget is doing well,

to buy their ribs and another night, their wings. Check out

their website for a large variety of foods, prepared on site

for the sporting crowd and others who like to know where your

food originated!

I have not written about any restaurants that don’t feature

television screens, thus this is more of a sporting and also,

fun-loving description that will give you some of our local

nightlife with some “flavor!”

games

Justin and Torrie’s Love Story

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I could have titled this, “The Good Guy,” a best friend love story. Or I

could have given it a more interesting title, “The Layered Man ‘Wins’ His Girl.”

I have a difficult time deciding how to give a title and this is a very important

skill, I admire those who do such a wonderful time of catching my attention,

leaving some intrigue to help the reader to finish the story, find the meaning

in the title, too.

Since kindergarten, Justin had always liked Torrie. She was his best friend.

They never wanted to ruin their friendship by “taking it to the next level.”

Justin told me, “We never wanted to ‘go there.'” (No romantic moves were

made throughout all their school years.)

When Torrie came home from college, she had gotten married to a classmate

and chosen to have a Justice of the Peace wedding. From the moment that

Justin ran into them at their small town grocery store, he did not like the

guy at all. In Justin’s opinion, the way the guy looked and acted was like

a “bum.” He was concerned about Torrie’s poor choice in a partner and also,

worried about their relationship. When he went home and talked to his

mother, she told him,

“It is out of your hands, now.”

While they had been teens, Torrie and Justin leaned on each other during

heartbreaks. They had built a bond, but while Torrie had been away, Justin

had chosen to start working at the distribution center. I ran into him,

(almost literally!) while I was learning and wearing a neon training vest,

in heavy bulk. I had learned how to drive the pallet rider, load it with

the different heavy products such as struts and pipes, but was rather

challenged in my backing up skills. To get things to shipping, you literally

had to back into a lane, lower the fork lift and ‘drop’ the products. I

cut corners and had close calls, but one day, while Justin was nearby, I

backed up and hit another loaded pallet. My two different contacts, one

near and the other far, (since I could not adapt to bifocal contacts)

were to blame!

A lot of products got knocked off, along with a hamper of car parts fell.

Justin hurried over, he has the clarity and steely eyed look of Paul

Newman’s eyes. Deep and abiding blue. He had a sympathetic look, helping

reload the pallet, saying not to worry and other very kind things. While

he helped me for almost twenty minutes, he for some reason, shared the

above thoughts about Torrie.

He told me, along with the fact he had lost touch with her, except on

occasion to hear she had two children, was struggling to do her nursing,

along with her raising her girls. These snippets of news came from his

mother and friends who would run into Torrie.

Justin told me when he was straight out of high school, he had enjoyed

the elements of riding around on the equipment, moving pallets full of

incoming products, and wrapping the outgoing products using a wrapping

machine. He was adept with the job, gave a lot of time and attention

to his responsibilities and by 2009, risen to be the shipping clerk.

His next step, recently achieved, was being in 2013, the shipping

supervisor. This payscale jump has helped him with the ‘rest of his

story.’

When he told me about finding out about Torrie’s second child’s birth,

his jaw clenched and he said that he had to bite his tongue not to

tell his mother, he didn’t really want to hear anymore about Torrie’s

life.

This was soon changed.

A woman that I work for, may have mentioned somewhere along the way

in my work stories, Debbie, came up to me last week. She works in the

area called, Cycle Count. So, if I am in the pick to light area, and

a product is missing from the bins, I will push a series of buttons

that indicate, “back ordering.” Well, within minutes, this sends what

I call an ‘alarm’ but I am sure it is not accompanied by a sound of

an alarm, but one member who has been there for fifteen years, Debbie

arrives. This is nice, since the next pass down the lane or zone, will

mean I have a filled bin to pick from. This actually helps me with my

‘rate’ or time it takes to go up and down.

Debbie is about five years older than I am, saying that she hopes to

retire in about three more years. I have shown her pictures of my

grandchildren and she has shown me her daughter’s children and

grandchildren. I was particularly glad when she started to tell me

about her granddaughter who is in her late twenties. The daughter

has lovely reddish brown hair, her children all having brown eyes.

Then, her granddaughter has reddish brown hair and bright blue eyes.

Her three great grandchildren all have blue eyes, she showed me

their photos along the way, but had not ever shown the father in

any of her photos. Apparently, in 2011, her granddaughter, Torrie,

got fed up with being a busy nurse, mother and wife with a husband

who was a video game fanatic, rarely keeping a steady job. When he

lost his Pizza Hut delivery job, she decided to make a clean break.

Debbie said that summer, while pushing her daughter of three and

holding her six month old on her hips, she ran into her old and

dear ‘best friend ever,’ Justin. He was being the ‘good guy’ that

he ‘always was’ by taking his niece and nephew to the park. They

were 7 and 9, Debbie told me. They could run and play by themselves

at the park, while he chatted and offered to hold the baby so that

Torrie could put her three year old on her lap to swing together.

I perked up right away, I mean I had only known of two other Torrie’s

in my life!

One had been a sweet actress in my senior high play I directed, “Take

Her, She’s Mine.” The other one, had been a character in a love story

told to me in the summer of 2009, by Justin.

I asked her, “Was this man’s name Justin?”

She said, “Oh, you might know him on the shipping floor since he is

the supervisor. I didn’t realize you may know my granddaughter’s

husband.”

I asked, “How did it come about, since I thought she was single?”

And that is how she told me about running into each other, at the

Mt. Gilead State Park. How their ‘destinies’ were to become joined

by being each other’s best friends in the beginning and now, were

married. Debbie told me a few more details about her granddaughter

as I tried to continue to fill my orders, she followed me down

my zone. She told me that she had insisted on paying for a ‘big

wedding’ like she had always wanted. That the six month old was

about nine months, held in someone’s arms but the three year old

great granddaughter had been the flower girl and a cousin had

been the ring bearer. They had married in the Spring of 2012 and

have the littlest girl, in 2013. I admired the photograph, now

feeling very connected to their love story.

I could not have imagined when I heard the beginning of their love

story, told me by the considerate, sincere and quiet Justin in 2009,

that I would be hearing a happy ending.

This ‘happily ever after’ shone strongly in the faces of each member

of this family, like a shining beacon.

Debbie’s family portrait held the strongly bound lives of three

sisters, a loving mother, Torrie and father (stepfather), Justin.