I have had a few unspoken or unwritten recent dating experiences that
you may be interested in knowing a little bit about! Since Labor Day
weekend, knowing I was coming home to a coffee “date” I asked my
dear Mom what she thought would be a good word of advice. She
told me in no unflinching terms, “Robin, you need to be confident!
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, this time!”
Not one to turn down any offers of matchmaking or setting myself
up, I met a nice man who was a friend of a friend’s husband. He is
going to be called, “The New Mark.” Since his name is Mark and there
have been posts with the fisherman named Mark, this is a man who
is also, “The New and Improved Mark.” I mean it! He is interesting
because I have never dated a chemist before. He is also more serious,
but I have been telling my guy friends, (Bill and Gary) that I needed
a “Nerd!” or a “Brainiac!”
Seriously, I had such wonderful boyfriends and friends in high school
that were deep and thoughtful. I was very happy, but also, nervous
when I planned to arrive home from Mom’s, dash inside with my
baggage, shower, change and get to the closest coffee shop!
The assignation was chosen for its close proximity and walking
distance from my apartment building. This place has creative
juices flowing in its appearance and the seating with sofas, comfy
chairs in contrast to the utilitarian silver metal tables and chairs
along the wall is a uniquely contrasted locale with a wide variety
of clientele. I enjoyed playing cards one time on the metal table
with a male friend. I also, have tagged along, while my daughter
and also, my brother, with their laptops used the free wi-fi along
with imbiding in their homemade featured treats and drinking a
“cup of joe,” also. It used to be known as “The Mean Bean” but it
is currently named, “Something Sweet.” It still has Scandanavian
blue glass light fixtures and unusual art displays of local artists.
They can be metal, paintings, chalk or photographs and remain to
decorate the walls for only a month, you may purchase or then,
if not bought, they are gone!
I recognized the man with the striped white button down collared
shirt right away as the new Mark. He appeared very calm and I felt
peaceful in his company. I tend to chatter at a fairly fast pace, have
mentioned that I acquired this habit, first as a young mother, then
through the years as a mother, babysitter, then teacher and now,
grandmother. I have found comfort in my best friends totally and
completely understanding this mode of conversation. I am glad
that once Bill said, pausing to study my face and giving me a
worried look, when I was actually quiet and listening! He asked,
“Are you okay? You seem ‘down’ today!”
I replied, “This is me, when I am being your good friend and
listening!” (We both burst into laughter over that exchange!)
Mark asked me about my Labor Day weekend, I gave him some
of what I summarized with my post back then. I did not know
how this would proceed so I did not put any of this on my post.
I think I have learned my lesson, my Lenny lesson, how excited
I had been for that six weeks period. Even blogging about my
Mark told me that he analyzes paint at PPG as a chemist, he
is also “on call” sometimes on weekends, in case of emergencies.
He talked about movies with me, he likes serious ones, also. I
told him about my Mom and how she ended up in the senior
living apartments. Also, about my 6 months on match.com. He
told me that he appreciated Lu and how her husband had come
up with the idea of meeting me. He was complimenting my attire
and I complimented him back. He has hair! He has nice brown
eyes and brown hair. He wears glasses. I confessed that I take my
contacts out after I am finished with my job and my blogging. I
would have to wear bi-focals if I didn’t have a wonderful eye doctor
who suggested soft contacts withmy strong eye wearing the far
sided one, the weaker (lazier) eye wearing the close up/ near
sighted one. I wear a pair of wire rims in my apartment and I have
those transitional glasses for walking in the summertime.
We talked about books, I am not a serious book reader, I like
mysteries, some romances, and historical fiction. I used to read
the Bible more, I have worn the cover off mine and have so many
pages that are written all over the edges.
I shared my politics and my open mindedness. I am sure this is
not a “first date’ regular subject. But he asked the questions and
I was free with my opinions. Best to be “myself” no sense in trying
to hide myself.
Been there, done that!
I told him I would like to be better at “going with the flow.” I have
that goal to be one that would become my “mantra” if possible.
I have been a lifelong worrier, some of you have read why. I won’t
go into it, didn’t then on the “date” that ended up turning into a
nice Monday night dinner at Opa’s where the gyros are made with
a combination of beef and lamb or you can have grilled chicken.
You are given two choices of potatoes, I like the ones that taste
like “fair fries.” I like the garlic sauce and the special cucumber
sauce. We each had iced teas, then switched to coffee. This Greek
restaurant is across the street from my apartment so we could look
out the window and I could tell him he could park there “next time.”
We walked out into a chilly night, the sky was cloudy but I tilted my
head up, I told him about my Dad’s life work. How he is up there
in the Heavens, rearranging stars. My youngest daughter and I
have looked out across Lake Erie where he loved to fish, seen the
shooting stars and were amazed that it happens quite often while
together. She is very close to his memory, she had no father, so
my brothers and her Grandpa Oldrieve are her male role models
and ones she loves the best.
The New and Improved Mark is a good man, he has two teens so
he will be busy every other weekend. We will talk on the phone
but I told him I am not a big “texter.” We have gotten together
one other time, since his busy weekend, I was not and then my
busy weekend, he was not busy! I had my son’s big camp out,
#32 birthday and his wife and his fifth anniversary party. I was
there before the thirty guests arrived but had fun for awhile
seeing the food, the kids running wild, then I took four of six
grandchildren home to my house.
Our last date was on a Sunday and I told him I liked having
Sunday “dinners” with someone special. I appreciated that
we went to Bun’s Restaurant. I told him the history and how
it burned down and the new owner being a different kind
of man than the German roots of old. He talked about his
family history, his ancestors and we had a nice conversation
while I ate a spinach salad with grilled chicken, the West
Winter Street salad. He had a salmon dinner, salad and baked
potato. As we left, I bought two frosted cookies and told him
the reason; it used to have a bakery and the homemade buns
are still here.
When I ate more recently with Gary, we talked about his most
disastrous date that he had in the past five or so months since
we had eaten together. He made it humorous, but it was very
much a disaster. I told him about looking at the 40th high school
reunion as being an impetus to find someone who would know
my past, my thinking period of my life, and maybe find the man
of my dreams. I told Gary I wanted a deep thinker and that I hoped
he would understand that I did not feel he was one. We are just
meant to be friends.
To emphasize my point, I left him a text message that said:
“I am turning on PBS to watch “Masterpiece Theatre.”
Gary quickly responded back, “I am going home to watch Looney
(Maybe I hurt his feelings but he is, after all, a sports editor,
and I have often told him I would attend one game of each type,
during each season, but am not a “die hard sports nut!”)
Meanwhile, I do have the “best of two worlds” due to a long term
friendship with Bill (who dates Heather) and Gary (who is still on
match.com looking for a woman to be his future partner. He has
two children who are in high school that take a lot of his time
and keep him company, too.)
Oh, and by the way, my oldest daughter has a man who looks
like Christopher Walken in mind, if this one “fails!”
My love life is a “Work in Progress!”
I wish for my good male friends, much luck!
And here’s to my new adventure in dating!
Wish me luck (again)!