Category Archives: Ed Sheeran

Summer Laughs

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Thanks to Mark, who gave me this title on a Hump Day, a week or so, back.

It was where I had little funny jokes or stories, where a witty comeback line

‘closed’ each one of them. I love the idea of looking for ‘summer’ chuckles

so here are some that I found for you to enjoy!

Now, if Mark will guffaw loudly enough to be heard by all, from his Syracuse,

New York location, this will make my day!

http://markbialczak.com

 

After the jokes, there will be a musical moment, since Mark’s posts include

sports (which I am ‘sketchy’ on), entertainment and his perspectives on Life.

 

In the days when I was a single Mom, I discovered the quaint and the very good

idea of bringing children and being a faithful Christian by going to church every

Sunday and Wednesday nights!

One summer Wednesday evening, I heard our pastor catch my attention and the

whole congregation’s by exclaiming out loud:

“Sex!”

The congregation quit fidgeting and suddenly were giving their full and rapt

attention!

Everyone had fallen into total silence.

Then, they started to look nervously at each other, afraid to say anything.

In the back of the church, one of the elderly women stood up, she was a

sweet and beloved member of the church.

She started singing in her soprano voice,

“Memories.”

(This is a joke, hope you liked this first one of my Summer Laughs’ Series!)

 

2. “One lazy summer morning, a long married couple were sitting

over their coffee, toast and cereal, being quiet and thoughtful.

The husband was reading the newspaper, they had the radio on

and this was a nice way to begin one of their many retirement days.

The husband looked up from the paper and happened to say to her,

“Dear, when I die you may go ahead and remarry. I just hope you

don’t choose a jerk the next time around.”

The wife sat, chewing her breakfast, drinking sips of her coffee and

then, stunned  her husband by replying:

“Honey, what makes you think I would make that mistake again?”

A few funny summer jokes, found in pieces of mail from my Mom’s

friend, Pookie, from California follow!

 

3. In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was wearing

a tight skirt, approached the bus.

As it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was

too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step

of the bus.

She was slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus

driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking

that this would give her enough slack in the skirt to raise her leg.

This time she still wasn’t able to raise her leg high enough to

embark on the bus.

She looked at the bus driver, embarrassed again, reaching behind

to unzip her skirt.

She tried this one more time attempting the step.

Once again, to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

About this time, a tall Texan who had been standing behind her the

whole time, waiting himself to get onto the bus, picked the young

woman in her tight and fashionable pencil skirt and placed her

gently on the bus.

The young woman exclaimed,

“How dare you do this? I don’t even know who you are!”

The Texan smiled and drawled,

“Well, Ma’m, normally I would agree with you. After you

unzipped my fly three times, I kinda’ figured we were friends!”

 

4. A “Maxine” Fourth of July joke:

This older woman, wearing an American flag on her shirt,

from the comic strip created by John Wagner, “Maxine” says:

“Until you almost lose a finger helping set off fireworks,

you can’t really call yourself a Patriot!”

My 85 year old Mom liked that one, but added:

“If you haven’t had your whiskers singed by a sparkler,

then you really haven’t had a ‘blast’ for the Fourth!”

(She was a big provider of sparklers, over the years,

to my children, and now, grandchildren!

 

5. This joke should be actually considered a little bit of a ‘rant!’

It could be considered,”Lesson on Changes in Technology!”

It is accompanied by an appropriate photograph!

“All you, young ‘whippersnappers’ will never know…

The satisfaction of slamming down a receiver on a

Rotary Phone!!”

 

(Now, if you are ever in Goodwill or Salvation Army,

check out all those old-fashioned phones. If you have

any grandchildren, grab one or two. They absolutely

LOVE playing with the dials and the buttons on either

the dial rotary phones or the push button ones! I have

a couple and the grandkids call each other. I also wish

to share this fact: In the song, “Five Little Monkeys”

there is a line, where you use the motion of actually

dialing a telephone, “Mama called the Doctor and the

Doctor said, “No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”

My grandkids now understand the reason why you

use one hand up to your ear and the other to make a

circular motion!” Also, my preschoolers, special ed.

teaching experience loved how heavy those phones

were, dragging their cords around behind them, while

“pretend” talking on them!!)

 

 

Oh, if you didn’t see the great article in the Sunday newspaper about

the 23 year old, Ed Sheeran, don’t forget that he did a collaboration

with Pharrell Williams, who I featured in the post, “The Man Behind

Happy.”

Ed Sheeran, who sang, “Daydream,” and was nominated for a Grammy

this year, made it into my 1/28/14 post about the Grammy Awards.

Also, that he is a Brit, who had played with Taylor Swift, on her “RED

tour,” and has been friends with two of the show, “Friends, Courtney Cox

and Jennifer Anniston.

“The Lego House” and “A Team” led him to be in the Top Ten songs’ lists,

along with his becoming close to Elton John, Usher and other famous

singers are helping this young man to soar. I am happy to report that one

of his goals is to be ‘settled down with a family by age 33!’ He is dating a

chef, who he is close to but doesn’t bring her into the limelight. His mother,

father and brother are very important to him, too!

Ed Sheeran, also was in my post about the “Voice” and “American Idol”

season finales, since one or two of his songs made it onto those shows. His

carefree spring/summer song is, “Sing” done in collaboration with Pharrell

Williams.

HAVE A HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!

All around the world:

LET FREEDOM RING TO LAUGH!!

 

Late Grammy Awards’ Report

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For two long days, (well I did work on Monday) I got

excited to write and present my Grammy Awards’ news

report, along with my personal impressions of the whole

program. I walked, at noon, to the library, to find there

were 9 people looking in the windows. No sign saying, “The

Delaware County District Library is Closed” was posted.

Nor, were there any signs of life inside. I turned around

and placed my returned movies in the box and said, “Oh

well! I can live without a computer for a day!”

Then, yesterday, I worked, and not wanting to endure the

below zero temperatures again, decided to drive to the

library. It was closed, with a handwritten sign saying,

“The Library is Closed. It is a Level Two emergency.”

No, it did not add, “Robin, you should go home and relax!

Quit stressing about your posts, your commenters and what

you wish to publish!” It was quite understated in its

message!

You have seen the beautiful dresses, heard a few of the

special duets and groupings but you have not heard my

scintillating commentaries about the Grammys’!

On the Red Carpet, in order of appearance I will let you

in on my fashion commentaries and opinions. I was there,

‘on the spot,’ (on my love seat in my pajamas, with popcorn,

chocolate and a caramel mocha coffee to keep me fortified!)

Here are the special news about clothing and what insightful

word that some passed on in their Red Carpet Interviews.

Katy Perry was wearing a gorgeous Valentino gown, with

gauzy layers that held musical notes from an Italian Opera.

She was lovely with her hair up, a braid wrapped around her

bun. The colors were creamy white with black notes on a flared

skirt. She talked about her new account with “Cover Girl”

which she feels she has ‘made it’ by getting chosen to represent

the makeup line. There was a whimsical feeling to the fluffy

netting layers on this dress! Also, Katie mentioned that later,

during the awards show, she was going to be ‘channeling Stevie

Nicks’ in a song that could be otherwise labeled, “Which witch

is which?” (See my later in sequential order, review of her

song but *spoiler alert* I did NOT like it!)

One of my favorite characters who happens to sing, is Cyndi Lauper,

who sported a short, bright red hair style and lovely figure still

in tact, wearing black tights to her ankles, a black cape with

gold filigree netting at her neckline and simple, gold flats on her

cute, tiny feet. I will always hold her in high regard, loving her

song, “True Colors.” My oldest daughter could probably name a few

more ‘hits’ that wild woman has sung with her distinctive husky

voice. It is an endearing sounding voice, with such pixie-like

behavior shown by Cyndi, on the Red Carpet.

Keith Urban was wearing a down to earth, black suit with gray

dress shirt. He said that his song that he was going to perform

would be “Cop Car” with African American country music upcoming

star, Gary Clark, Junior. Keith gave Gary a huge compliment by

saying he was a “soulful cat.” (Love that image and nice comment!)

Pink was wearing a lovely and sexy, red, shiny dress. I would

say it reminds me of the “mermaid dresses” that sometimes you see

in wedding shops. Her short punked up light blonde hair do looked

very stylish, along with her dangling glittery earrings. She did

not wear a necklace with this, choosing her beautiful neck and

upper bodice area to be bare.

Taylor Swift wore a chain mail dress, sheer around the neckline

and shoulders, but very modest. The shimmering gold with silver

reflections was like one from the retro period of the fifties,

with a belt at the waist line. She had diamond earrings and she

was nominated for the song, “Red.” (She did not win Best Album

of 2013.) She was laughing at the replay by someone on the Red

Carpet of how her friend, Jennifer Lawrence, from “Hunger Games”

and “Winter’s Bone,” had been ape-ing behind her back (making

faces) and taking her pictures, too, at the Golden Globes earlier

this month. She did say she was wearing Gucci and also, that she

wished to thank her friend, Jennifer for her friendship.

Neil Patrick Harris, who has performed in musicals, likes to sing,

was looking very handsome on the Red Carpet. His news was that

after the television series “How I Met Your Mother” ends (it will

have had over 200 episodes), he plans to be in a musical titled,

“Hedwig and the Angry Itch.” His tuxedo appeared to be made of

black satin, with a black leather lapel. I thought his open, white

collar was a switch from his sometimes overly formal attire.

Madonna, came in with her son (adoptive) David. She gave him credit

for choosing her fashion statement this Sunday evening. She wore a

sharp, black tuxedo suit, wearing a white dress shirt and so did he.

They both had hats that reminded me of the old Boy Scout leaders. Wide

black brims with felt material and a satin ribbon around the band.

Someone else called her hat a black Amish styled one. Madonna

mentioned she was wearing ‘mouth metal’ which was glittery like

it held diamonds in a braces foundation. Not sure why, maybe her son

was wearing actual braces? It made her voice muffled, too. Odd and

quirky but she still looked radiant with long shoulder length blonde

hair and red, glossy lips. She looked wonderful despite her manly

attire.

Ryan Secrest looked ‘snazzy’ in his black tuxedo with the rare

bow tie around his neck. His crisp white shirt and his hair style

made the look complete.

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis looked nice and gave us a fun commentary

with talking about toilet papering, throwing chips on their band

bus, going wild about the upcoming Super Bowl. They are Seattle

Sea Hawks’ fans.

Kevin Hart, comedian and recent movie star in a new comedy just

out, called, “Ride Along” and upcoming movie on February 14, in

time for lovers and friends to see. It will be called, “About

Last Night.” He was with Ice Cube in the first movie, still in

theatres. He was talking on the Red Carpet, excitedly about

Beyoncé’s upcoming musical performance with her husband, Jay Z.

When Juliana, who was interviewing him asked him if he had

any “Diva request” on the movie sets or behind the camera,

Kevin Hart said, “I don’t do Diva demands! I am a guy!”

Willie Nelson wore simple black with his two braids and

looking quite dandy.

Yoko Ono, with her son, Sean Lennon, both looked about the

same as they have lately. Sean has a beard and is still

thin and lithe. Yoko likes to wear black suits, this is

her traditional garb over the years.

Robin Thicke looked wonderful and he was channeling Frank

Sinatra in his dapper appearance. His tuxedo was made of

black velvet, with satin lapels. Ryan Secrest had to look

to find out the label and tell us, the listeners, who he

was wearing. Robin T. was wearing Armani. He had on a pair of

dark sunglasses, talking very smoothly. I am so excited when

I hear him say that his portion of the ceremony will be a

performance with Chicago group members! (I loved this ensemble,

stick with me. . . I will be getting to this later!)

And Now, the 56th Grammy Music Awards held on Sunday 1/26/14.

#17 time Grammy Award winner opened the show with a provocative

dimly lit, Beyoncé. She was in an outfit acceptable for ballet

or in a Broadway production, like “Chicago,” when the jail

women are wearing barely anything and hanging in different ways

on the jail cell bars. Beyoncé was on a chair, hanging backwards

putting her legs up in the air, singing. Her black outfit and

black fishnet hose had shimmer and glitter on it, so the lights

caught it while she performed. She had chin length blonde hair

that looked crimped or permed. Yes, her legs did spread in many

different positions.

There were several people that noticed this, and, on Monday, were

giving me their opinion that the show should not have aired at 8:00

on a Sunday night. I was quiet about it, thinking that my parents

would have called it an “Art Form.” Possibly due to my exposure at

a young age to both the Cleveland Art Museum and the Broadway play,

“Cabaret,” with Joel Grey and Liza Minnelli, I would not have been

too upset with grandchildren seeing it. Seriously.

The song, Beyoncé sang, was “Drunken Love.” She did say words like

“I’ve been drinking, I’ve been thinking…” Along came from the

back of her, Jay Z, singing the rest of the song, with rap melody,

there were plenty of bleeps, and he was wearing a classic black

tuxedo. They have a baby named, I believe they spell it, “Bleu.”

LL Cool J, the emcee host gave a great introduction after Beyoncé

and Jay Z’s musical performance. He said, (paraphrased) these

nicely phrased words:

“The force of music is universal. We have performances from Japan,

Australia, and other international connections. We have two young

men from Liverpool, too. We are going to make beautiful noise, make

history with some pairings of contrasting musical artists, too.”

Pharrell Williams and Anna Kendricks started the awards by listing

the Best New Artist nominees as:

James Blake

Kendrick Lamar

Kacey Musgraves

Ed Sheeran (I like his song, “Daydream”)

And the winner of Best New Artists was for the song,

“Tonight is the Night,” sung by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis!

I liked this duo, because of their simple acceptance speech

and admire that they “did it on their own independent label,

no one wanted to take them on!” (Bet some ‘heads will roll’

over that mistake!)

I enjoyed Lorde. She is an attractive, black haired ‘raven’

who is not too fancy in her appearance. She looked nice, but

not memorable. She sings, “Royals” which includes lyrics about

the British Royalty. The words include “we don’t care..” about

their news and such, including that “we drive Cadillacs only in

our dreams.” She came out of ‘nowhere’ and did later take the

Best Pop Solo Performance Grammy home.

Hunter Hayes sang a song with a powerful message against Bullying.

Saying things in support of outcasts and rebels. There were famous

current musicians’ quotations flashing on a white screen with black

letters. (Some were Stevie Wonder, Johnny Depp, Lady Gaga, and more.)

Hunter sang about “anyone who dares to be different, do something

different, trying so hard.” He also sang, “Listen for a minute…

Sticks n’ stones do hurt, words cut deep.” I believe the song is

called, “Invisible.” His final words of the song are, “Someday

you’ll look back and all this pain is going to be ‘invisible.'”

That message of ‘you’re not alone,’ is a wonderful one that did

pull at my heart strings.

Katy Perry came out onto a stage that did look like Halloween,

she had warned us she would be looking like a witch! The scenery

had a crystal ball, a full moon, women in black. Katy’s outfit

had a red ‘glow in the dark’ lit up tube top. It was almost like

a red bra. She had a purple gauzy net skirt on. The women who

danced around her, appeared to look more like streetwalkers, than

fellow witches. The song’s theme, not sure of the title, was

“Don’t Make Me Your Enemy.” The end of the song had Katy ‘burning

at the stake’ with flames rising around her. I did not feel her

voice sounded as good as it has in the past, nor did she have the

great and bold singing (as she promised to sound like Stevie Nicks!)

When Pop Duo or Group nominees came up I did feel that Pink’s

“Just Give Me a Reason,” “Stay,” sung by Rihanna, “Blurred Lines”

that Robin Thicke sings, and “Suit and Tie” with Justin Timberlake

and Jay Z have all been over-played on one of my newer radio

channels, “Sunny 95” or ‘94.7.’ I was happy that I recognized them,

and like the one that won, “Get Lucky” with Daft Punk and Pharrell

Williams. The most talked about hat was on Pharrell Williams, some

calling his brown hat, a Smokey the Bear hat!

Steve Coogan, a British actor and comedian announced the presence

and upcoming performance of two musicians he honors: Sir Paul

McCartney and Ringo Starr. His joke was, “I’d rather announce for

these two blokes than the whole lot of the Jonas Brothers.”

Steve Coogan is in a movie with Judi Dench playing the mother who

gave him up for adoption, “Philomena.” My AARP movie reviewer says

that this is the best older actors’ movie and plan to see this soon.

Joining them on stage was Dave Grohl, to sing a newly released song,

“Doom and Gloom.” I have to tell you the truth. It is a little like

the songs on Paul McCartney’s “Wings” group albums. Nice, fun, and

jazzy, but not memorable. Sorry, that is this humble reviewer’s take

on their new song! Dave Grohl comes from the Eurythmics’ group.

They did win the Grammy Award for BEST Rock and Roll Song with

it, though! So, hope you take a chance to hear it, give me your

honest feedback on it, please. Was I too harsh on my old ‘Faves’?

I felt that John Legend singing with the grand piano was great

and Taylor Swift, also, did an admirable job at the piano, too.

There were some humorous interplays between the different

musicians and I started to write them and stopped. I wanted to

just ‘be in the moment.’

Martina McBride and Zac Brown, (one who is Spanish reggae style

singer and the other Country Western) came out to give a special

tribute to two “Late greats” who were fine country artists and

legends in their time:

George Jones and Ray Price. “We lost two great legends in 2013.”

Daft Punk wear robot space outfits, with helmets that reflect

light so you cannot see in, not possible to identify these two

men. They were given credit for some technical lighting and

also, for that synthesized sound of music, or as one announcer

called it, “cyber music.” There were a few running jokes about

these two and when they got up to receive the award, someone

else spoke for them. I enjoyed the extraordinary assembly of

Niles Rogers, Pharrell Williams and Stevie Wonder!! This was

much better than I expected! It resembled, if one closed your

eyes, Earth, Wind and Fire’s sound style! Very rhythm, blues

with an upbeat tempo! I hope you stayed awake to hear this

collaboration. The Daft Punk ‘cyber-robots’ were there to

add their own sound and lights display, too.

In the country music section of the program, a great group

of men gathered! I just have to say, I love these guys!!

Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Merle Haggard and Blake

Shelton. This was an awesome collection of songs. Three songs

were blended together (which I hope that my friend who writes

about Country Music, featured and reviewed.) I used to enjoy

the group “The Highwaymen,” sad that Waylon Jennings and others

have left us to join that band in the sky. Here are the songs

that they put together to perform:

“Highwayman,” “I’m proud to be an Okie from Muscogee” and “Mama’s

Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys.” Many rockers in the

audience stood up and the spotlight, cameramen caught them singing

and dancing to this group of four men.

There were many more performers and nominations. There was Steven

Tyler, Metallica, Rolling Stones, Nate Rouse, Black Sabbath, Sara

Bareilles, Justin Timberlake, Julia Roberts and more in the audience.

My last review, taken out of order is my favorite performance of

the evening: Robin Thicke and Chicago.

There songs were accompanied by the trumpets and horns of Chicago

group. They sang, “Does Anybody Know What Time It Is?” with “Saturday,

In the Park…(I Think It was the Fourth of July)” along with “In the

Name of Love,” and Robin Thicke’s song, “Good Girl.” (“In the Name of

Love” lyrics: “I wish I could sing it to you, Time marches too quickly

Doesn’t matter where we go…”

The very pleasant and memorable duet with Sara Bareilles with Carole

King should be listened to, if you are like me, a product of the 70’s!

It was a long, musically enjoyable Sunday evening, which I really wanted

to post about before you saw the news, but weather did not permit me to

do so. Library was closed two days in a row!