I have written a few posts about my own personal experiences
with control and abuse, along with the battered women’s
shelter job as the Child Advocate. In my stories, I try to indicate
that everyone should be loved, cared about and treated in a kind
way, whether married or in a relationship. I encourage men also
to find that secure and “safe” love.
I have watched several movies over the years that had good
content, ideas and moving stories about women’s struggles
to get free and improve their lives. My story about the woman,
Maria, who lived in my apartment building was a haunting
one that from time to time, I stop and stand still. A prayer comes
to mind, then I try not to worry about her.
I just watched, “Safe Haven” and would recommend it. Although
it is not as wonderful as Nicholas Sparks’ book and following
movie, “The Notebook” which dealt with another serious subject,
Alzheimers and dementia. Both James Garner as the patient elderly
husband and Gena Rowlands make that movie meaningful through
their subtle portrayals of a couple who have been together many
years. The younger actors, Ryan Gosling and Rachel Mc Adams
portray the couple as younger and more impetuous, combatting
some class issues and yet, overcoming them.
Julia Roberts and Patrick Bergen were in the movie, “Sleeping with
the Enemy.” The story made from a book, covered similar subject of a
scary, angry husband as found in “Safe Haven.” Julia’s character has
to “fake” her own death to get away from her abusive husband.
Another fine movie, “Enough,” starring Jennifer Lopez and Billy
Campbell covers the abuse theme but I like the proactive moves that
Jennifer’s character chooses. She begins to train in getting fit by learning
skills called “Krav Maga” which teach her strength. She learns that she
must listen to her own voice and approaches her ex-husband in his own
home, breaking in to scare him one last time to leave her alone.
Jennifer’s character has hidden his guns and weapons. She pretends to be
hurt and weak, then strikes back. I won’t tell you more but I liked the fact
that she did not just hide and try to make a new life. She tries this, but the
movie and story goes beyond running, gives some other areas to develop.
I think that in “Safe Haven” it is interesting to have the “bad” man be a cop.
He makes his way southward to Atlanta by flashing his badge to get
information. Somehow, he lands in the nice, peaceful town where the woman
lives and had found her “safe haven.” Josh Duhamel and Julianne Hough
are the beautiful actors that depict the future happy couple. The chilling cop
and ex-husband “villain” is portrayed by David Lyons.
Although each movie promotes the idea of freedom from abuse and control,
I find that the dependence on a “new man” a little disconcerting. It is always
nice to have hope of a better life, more friends, and possibly a new love. But
it would be nice to show the women standing on her own two feet, being
happy and secure on their own first. Finding that “safe haven” within oneself
really is the best way to move forward wherever you head after getting out of
an abusive or controlling relationship.