At work, yesterday, we were talking about fathers. We really don’t know
what kind of pressure they had, in the past. We feel men and women
have a combined amount of stress, due to financial difficulties, low
wages, high cost of living, and raising families is not a ‘easy job.’
The song that came to mind, was the “Under Pressure” one with
both David Bowie and Queen singing it. Can you believe that came
out in 1981? And we were calling it a ‘newer song!’ Later, in 1982,
the group Queen performed this solo, on their album called, “Hot
Also, someone volunteered the ‘older’ Dolly Parton song, “9 to 5.” We
all liked that movie, which is more of a support of women but the guys
said it was the only one they could think of, agreeing with Tammy, that
we are ‘behind the times!’
Guess what? We found out this is a 1980 song, so only one year before
the other song we came up with, representing marriage and parenthood
stress. We may need a newer song to suggest you listen to, to help you
feel that we have understood the way life has become even more hectic
than when we were growing up!
They felt the lyrics expressed how we all have to pack a lot into
our days, especially those who have families. Juggling many tasks,
meetings after work, sporting and other activities that children
need parental guidance and support can all lead to crazy moments.
My good friend, Bill, calls those days when people are raising kids,
as the “hunter/gatherer” stage. I know somewhere along the way,
one of my commenters disagreed with this terminology, not sure
what alternative, they did suggest a better way to describe the
way life is in the fast zone!
Lastly, we were discussing how we didn’t understand our parents
until we got older, had children and even, sometimes wish we had
had more time to just relax and enjoy them. Knowing time is so
precious, not able to stand still and really listen and pay attention
to what their important pieces of advice are. I remember thinking
that “I knew it all,” especially since I had graduated in elementary
school education, so I already ‘knew’ what children needed and
Boy, did I get a huge splash of freezing cold water, a big dose of
There are NO manuals or instructions that explain how it is to
be a parent!
This post is in honor of fathers, along with mothers, who work as
a team to raise their children, doing the best they can, as much as
I have a good friend, who shall remain nameless, who still wished
she had more time to talk to her mother. I still wish I could ask my
Dad’s advice on more things. I would like to just listen to him again.
He could go on and on, rambling, if he liked. I would relate to the
desire to have someone to pay attention to, much more now. Now
that I am alone.
When asked, “What are you doing for Father’s Day?” I received an
interesting summary of choices. I hope you will add some present
and if you wish, some past ways you celebrated Father’s Day.
Charlene hangs with us, watching, “The Bold and the Beautiful”
from 1:45 until 2:00 pm. She is on her lunch break, so during the
commercial breaks we ask her, “What did we miss during the first
fifteen minutes of this half hour soap opera, we have become rather
attached or ‘addicted to.’
She said she plans to take her four year old son, Ian, to a big box
retail store, where he usually insists on buying his Daddy a card
and a gift. I wanted her to trace his hand and make a homemade
card, she says he won’t do that! Ian is a ‘force to reckon with!’
Charlene’s husband, Chris, works here, so we like to ask about
what he will be rewarded with for ‘His Day.’ She added that she
will cook one of his favorite meals, lasagna, garlic bread and a
dinner salad. It takes a lot of time to prepare it, having learned
the ‘hard way, ‘ from Christopher’s mother, the ‘true Italian way
to prepare this dish.’
Keith, whose daughter, Ashley, spent this past year in a haphazard
thrown together home-schooling adventure turned 13 this past week.
She is staying home, making a Cool Whip ‘concoction’ with crushed
Oreo cookies for Keith’s Father’s Day. He also had been happy to
hear that she was going to clean up the kitchen, dust and vacuum.
She may take off for the swimming pool, but this work was promised
to be completed by the time he came home today (Friday). By the
way, she failed seventh grade and will be taking it over again. Many
of my ‘regular’ commenters, will remember how I worried a lot about
the way Keith was handling it, how I had to step away and basically,
wash my hands of it. (Background information available on Keith
and Ashley post. )
Tammy’s father, who has had heart surgery, knee surgery and also,
still takes a lot of medications is 83 years old. His wife is in much better
shape, Tammy’s mother is ‘on the ball.’ For Mother’s Day, Tammy and
Mike (“Fencepost Buddies” love story post) had her parents, her sisters,
brothers, nieces and nephews over for a huge potluck/picnic. It had
ended up inside, but they are crossing their fingers to have it outside.
They purchased bags of mulch and will be putting this around her
mother and father’s flower beds, plants and trees. That will be their
gift, plus hosting their large, extended family on her side.
Melvin was ready to tell us all about the great barbecue that he and
his handicapped girlfriend helped to prepare dishes and a skinless pig
roast for a paid graduation party. Their catering “earned them more
that two weeks at Advance Auto, all in nice, crisp 100 dollar bills cash!”
Melvin’s used to being a cook in the Army, also for his large family.
The family is mainly out East, which he and his girlfriend are heading
that direction so, other than cards, there may only be the “trip out East,”
as his Father’s Day gift. They will be taking from June 20th until June 28th
to travel there and back, driving. He hopes to connect to some of his old
Army buddies, but nothing like their huge reunion last year, in MA.
We were trying to persuade him to open up a restaurant or catering
business, but Melvin thinks it would be too stressful on his girlfriend.
Trevinal and his wife, who I wrote about his taking nursing classes,
to get ahead in their life together. His father used to work at Advance
Auto D.C. #23, too. He is retired and when he did, he passed on the
advice to his son, to try and find a better job. Trevinal sits at our table,
laughs at our ‘old age’ jokes and is in his thirties. (I wrote about his
being designated “Special Education” while growing up, how he is
going to Columbus State and now has a 3.5 average every semester!)
Their love story is ongoing, first a good career, children next…
They are celebrating with his mother and father by taking them to
Ryan’s Steakhouse, which is a buffet style restaurant. They have some
plans to help trim trees, mow the lawn and his wife plans to bake a cake,
My friend, Mark, whose mother lives with him, told me today that he
plans to take her to his father’s gravesite, they will plant live flowers and
also, take home the Memorial Day wreath, they had left a couple of weeks
ago. He is the one who I gave my telephone number at Thanksgiving and
we have stalled out in the dating area of our friendship. Sort of ‘back to
square one.’ I like him a lot and will hope someday it may mean more to
him, too. Meanwhile, fun to have a man to flirt with, once in awhile!
One who has a home, computer and is not homeless, like I meet at the
library! Ha ha!
I have offered tonight and tomorrow night to watch grandchildren and
have plans to give cards to my son and my oldest daughter’s man for
their special day. I have decided that “Nana sitting” is enough, so won’t
be enclosing money this year for Father’s Day!
Work equity sounded like a great way for people to help their Dad’s out,
along with saving money. It is a trend across all income levels, giving
time is always an excellent way to show you love someone!
I will be posting about the Poll I took that was on the subject of which
television show featured your favorite Dad, father figure or male role
I was surprised at the results at break, lunch and after work, with my
coworkers choices. It may or may not amuse you! It brought back a
few good nostalgic memories.
Let me know, “What are you doing for Father’s Day?”