There were Saturday afternoon movies on television where
the brothers got to take a turn choosing the movie. Which
meant; it must be winter! Then, while they were outside
gallivanting in the Spring or Fall, I sometimes wanted to
get ‘lost’ in a movie and dream’ a little.
One of my favorite ‘escape’ movies was called, “Tammy and
the Bachelor,” starring Debbie Reynolds. She played a 17
year old girl, living barefoot along a Mississippi swamp
with her Grandpa, played by Walter Brennan. Along comes a
city ‘folk’ handsome man named, Leslie Nielson. You can
just guess what transpires!
There are four ‘Tammy’ movies, if you wish to indulge in
plots that resemble cotton candy spun into tales of love
and romance. I adored these, along with the old black and
white “Thin Man” movies. These were about a wealthy
married couple but enjoyed playing detectives. Myrna Loy
plays a rather ‘spunky’ wife, with William Powell as her
debonair husband. This comedy-romance movie spun off
into quite a collection of films.
Today’s post could not be written on Tuesday or Wednesday,
since I really had a debate with myself. I was unsure
what you would consider about my thoughts about the recent
debacle on a silly show called, “The Bachelor.”
I mean this week is “Brain Awareness Week” and what am I
doing writing about a show that most probably consider
‘mindless drivel?’ Pretty ironic!
I would be remiss if I didn’t say that I had watched the
Bachelor show, observing dating in its most unnatural
habitat. How could I have a witless dating after fifty
blog and not have some comments to ‘weigh in with?’
Although the ancient, and almost extinct, patterns
depicted in this season’s show were amusing, they also
had some alarming warnings.
The Bachelor, Juan Pablo, has become fairly infamous
in the past two days. Besides there were many people
who had purposely watched the season. I can only
imagine women cringing behind their pillows, gritting
their teeth every time he said such surface-oriented
On the show, I noticed there were few women who even
noticed his very shallow dialogue and subject matters
in their conversations. Almost all seemed to get big
grins on their faces, while we watched him ingratiate
himself with such comments as,
“You are so sexy!’
“You are the most beautiful woman.”
“You look pretty today.”
or, using his Spanish, “Ay, ay, ay!” (Meaning ‘Oh, my!’)
It happened to be the Final Rose Ceremony and the
episode that usually ends with a marriage proposal.
Lots of current hype about the show, the shocked
silence in the studio audience. The stunned host,
even, shaking his head.
Either you caught the different wild stories on
the entertainment news or you may have already
seen a cover story about Juan Pablo. He pocketed
the diamond ring that he had us all focus in on
while he chose this with the Lane Jewelry man
who makes his periodic appearance, when the final
show is approaching.
When Juan is about to tell Claire, one of the two
final women left on the show, that she is not his
heart’s desire, she figures it out. She had already
insinuated that he had made a major rude ‘under the
radar,’ (possibly crude) statement to her on their
‘island date.’ As they were disembarking from the
plane, while no microphones would pick up his not
so nice comment, which threw Claire through a loop.
She made a big deal about that she had expected a
different kind of ‘sweet nothing’ whispered in her
ear. We can just imagine.. He was, according to Claire,
On their final night together, Juan had persuaded
Claire to soften her heart. He was giving promises and
espousing future plans of their having babies together
and raising his daughter, Camilla. She had decided she
loved him, would ‘forgive’ his faux pas and was ready
to get engaged to him.
I think, after all these years, I had a sick to my
stomach feeling. A deja vu moment. I saw myself, talking
myself into accepting what most, including my parents,
would consider ‘unacceptable behavior.’ This happened to
I felt compelled to write this, thinking that it may
save one person from this foolish mistake. To cover
a television show that I do feel within the realm of
my interests and studying dating patterns. Little did
I realize the ‘reality show’ would open up my memories
of a bad situation.
When Juan did not ask Claire, but told her that she
was not the one he loved, she let him have it. That
she would not take a hug, she put her arms out and
with a firm (and not bitchy voice) said that she would
not want to marry him nor wish to have any children
with him. She felt sorry for the one who would be
part of his future life. (This is the gist of Claire’s
final ‘stand,’ I am sure there are videos of this
episode, if you wish to get the juicy details.)
So, the final night with the second girl did not
go too smoothly either. Nikki had written Juan a
very heartfelt letter, professing her love for him.
She had already told him once before and she also
(like Claire) had been one of three girls to take
Juan ‘home with them.’
Nikki is saddened that Juan does not say any sort of
answer to her thoughts, her question being, ‘Do you
love me?’ This final night, she cries because she
is unsure of his answer.
Unless you have been living under a rock, or hate this
sort of thing, (hopefully you stopped reading awhile ago.)
Nikki was not given a ring nor asked to get married, by
Juan. Nikki, again, tells Juan she loves him and has
enjoyed every moment together…
Juan tells her he is not going to ask her to marry him
until he ‘is very sure’ or that he is ‘100% sure.’
Then when she has poured her heart out once again, Juan
says these words:
“I like you a lot.”
One smart man, Sean, who chose a great partner, in
Katherine (or Catherine) is in the studio audience
watching along with two other couples and a full
room. Three couples have followed the procedures,
kept the pattern or formula of finding their partners
and gotten married.
Sean says a wise statement,
“Isn’t this like biting the hand that feeds you?”
He is astounded that even on the “After the Final Rose
Ceremony,” Juan is not able to say he loves Nikki nor
if or when they will get married.
Lots of red flags have gone off, in my own head, during
the course of this particular Bachelor’s season. Juan is
able to kiss and do more with some, but says to others,
“Out of respect for my daughter, I will not kiss all the
He chose to go out into the ocean with Claire, where it
looks in the moonlight, like they are making out. Possibly
The next day, Juan gave HER a lecture about disrespecting
his daughter, making her feel bad that she had ‘enticed him
into there.’ Presumably, they did more together that night
than he had planned. She was half of the equation and yet,
he doesn’t say he is sorry. No, he places the blame on her!
If I were a pediatric nurse, as Nikki is, I would have
used my mind and my intuition to pack my bags really
early on. Looking back at the season’s shows, maybe she
still will walk out.
Here are my quick words about the girls that stayed,
once Juan’s behaviors became questionable:
Have you been brainwashed?
Have you not been out on a date for quite awhile?
Are you desperate?
Did you get ‘caught up in the moment’ and possibly
got into a competitive spirit… which explains why
you didn’t care that Juan is not the ‘brightest
bulb on the Christmas tree?’
Have you ever heard of Stockholm syndrome? Were you
held against your will?
This season’s Bachelor show did not do well in the
producer’s choice in a man to follow the guidelines.
The parents, during the family ‘hometown visit’ had
been saying that Juan doesn’t always know who to
choose, is immature and also, that he is egotistical.
I see Juan trying to come off as nice and easygoing,
while showing a lot of control and forethought into
During commercials the week before this Final Rose
Ceremony program, they called this, “The Most
Controversial Bachelor Show Ever!”
I would call it the show that held women back in time,
to when they were not able to make their own choices.
It was a ‘throw back’ to the giddy, but sweet, movies,
like “Tammy and the Bachelor.”
Too bad it did not have the lovely innocence or
sentimentality needed in a truly romantic show.