Category Archives: inner “signs”

Wedding Story Part 2

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I ended up wearing the first dress. It fit right in with the evening reception, along

with my youngest daughter’s insistence it was more ‘current’ than the other two!

I would love to share Nate and Holly’s love story with you, since it has been awhile

since I have shared a love story. If you have time, I have about 30 other ones in

my past writings! They cheer me up, as it is interesting to know how people met.

 

Nate and Holly knew each other since the fourth grade.   They say they  ‘went out’

or ‘were going together for about a minute!’ This was shared by the minister during

the ceremony. She said she was ‘charmed’ by how Nate told her that he ‘spent the

next eight years trying to win her back.’

 

About 6 years ago, they ran into each other in a local saloon, the Back Stretch, where

several of the Delaware High alums of 2004 were gathered. Nate really knew that this

might be one of his last chances to catch Holly. So while talking to her, he leaned over

and whispered, “That girl over there keeps hanging on me, could you pretend you are

my girlfriend and kiss me?” The minister chuckled, when she told the congregation

gathered, some like me, who did not know this fact. She even slyly added something

like what a great line and how wonderful that this worked.

When her sister was getting married, my daughter Felicia and Holly were bridesmaid

and Maid of Honor. Holly asked if she could bring Nate, even though he had only been

on a couple of dates with her. Megan said, “Sure, if he REALLY wants to get to know

us, this would be the perfect setting.”  Megan and Breck got married in a late summer

outdoor wedding, they had been high school sweethearts. They have a little one year

old boy who rode down the aisle after the flower girl with a boy who must have been

a three year old cousin, pulling him in a wagon.

Nate had mentioned to Megan at the wedding, something like, “What’s not to love

about your family? They like dancing and drinking and so do I. He fit right in, Megan

told us in her Matron of Honor speech.

Here are two of the beautiful speeches, almost poetic in their simple loving meaning.

The first was read by a good friend of Felicia, who was in her Confirmation class and

brought his very cordial wife.

Matt read:

His hello was the end of her endings,

Her laugh was their first step down the aisle,

His hand would be hers to hold forever,

His forever was as simple as her smile.

He said she was what he was missing,

She said instantly she knew,

She was a question to be answered,

And his answer was, “I do.”

(no author given)

 

This is the lovely passage at the end of the British cast  movie.  Felicia and I have

watched this for the past 13 years since 9/11/01. The meaning of love everywhere

entranced us, the Christmas Spirit is present throughout, and it has a little PG-13

action, so it isn’t one you would show anyone under that age. Colin Firth, Hugh

Grant, Liam Neeson and others are outstanding. As well as a sweet actress who is

played by Martine McCutcheon. She adds to the romantic tone of the movie, in

this international story, as the aide to the Prime Minister. Emma Thompson and

Alan Rickman have a different kind of love story in this movie, married with one

of them participating in a ‘dangerous’ flirtation. Their story has a really funny

element, where one of their children plays a ‘lobster’ in a feast. I love the song,

which creates a bittersweet tone in their stressful lives, sung by

Joni Mitchell, “Both Sides Now.” If you wish to listen to it, the 2000 version

shows an ‘older and wiser’ songstress singing about ‘not really knowing love

at all,’ with a grand orchestration. This newer version is more textured and

was chosen specifically for one of the scenes, where Emma’s character is

rather frustrated with her life. The Colin Firth story has a maid/housekeeper

who is not able to speak English, which creates comedic episodes, with clever

subtitles in it.

 

Felicia read:

“Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the gates at

Heathrow Airport. General opinion is starting to make out that we live in a

world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that.   It seems to me that love is

everywhere.   Often, it is not particularly dignified or newsworthy,  but it’s

always there- – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives,

boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the twin towers, as

far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages

of hate or revenge- – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I’ve got a

sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.”

(Hugh Grant, playing the character of the Prime Minister, speaks these words

while you see people greeting, embracing and parting with hugs from all kinds

of international cultures, shown in their apparel.)

 

The reception was held in the second floor of the Clippers Stadium, so I do have

photos of Felicia and me, with the background behind us of the baseball diamond.

The place was cold, it is heated by radiant ceiling ‘pipe-like’ things. I got my popcorn

which the bag said, “It all started when he popped the question.   Holly and Nate,

October 4, 2014.” There is a dug-out café, also Tansky’s Grille and other interesting

parts of this location. When the sun went down and the lights of Columbus lit

up, it was simply the perfect, idyllic location for an Autumn wedding. The couples

came up the stairs from the first floor, while the DJ and announcer called out

first the couples where they were bridesmaids and groomsmen, then the Matron

of Honor, (sister of the bride, Megan) and the Best Man (brother of the groom.)

We had ‘ordered’ when we ‘R.S.V.P.’d’ our meal which mine was a grilled chicken

breast with a balsamic dressing, a tomato butter, freshly cooked green beans

and pasta in a garlic sauce.

 

I met some people I didn’t know at other tables, but knew the family of Doug

and Lisa, along with their children who are grown and out of college. They

each had a date, Lisa’s younger sister is planning a wedding next year and

her fiancé was encouraging her to ‘take notes,’ along with showing a little

excitement for the next wedding in their family.  I met and exchanged my

phone number with a woman in her fifties who likes country music, goes

to different activities and mentioned a reasonably priced concert coming

up in Columbus. I mentioned I love movies and going out locally, since I

tend to like to have one or two drinks and worry about sleepiness while

driving back from Columbus. Unless I could pre-arrange staying with my

youngest daughter in what is now called, “Olde Towne East.” We will see

if Pat calls me, since I was not as enthusiastic about a Thursday concert,

the one that is low cost.

I spent a lot of time with the bride’s grandmother, Ginny, who has been

a good friend for more years than the two children knew each other. She

and I met at a nursing home, where I was the activities director for over

four years. She was the home’s hairdresser, so we teamed up with her

bringing down people to the activities room, along with my assistant and

I, had coffee and donuts along with a weekly craft time. It made me feel

‘good’ for my own self, but not so much for the current residents, ones

who lived there after I was hired up at the preschool with the special

needs little ones. She told me that basically they didn’t collaborate or

work their schedules around her clients’ scheduled days (she works as

a part-time hairdresser, only twice a week.) Of course, it is a bittersweet

thought when she compliments me this way: “It never was the same

after you left! Lori, (my assistant) moved on to drive the disabilities van

and the city wide system bus.”

I got up and danced with the bridesmaids to a nice Chicago tune, then

pulled Ginny up to the dance floor for “Twist and Shout.” I ended up

leaving after ten o’clock, while the night was still ‘young’ and lively!

It had been a perfect day for a wedding, after all.

A little rain is supposed to bring you luck, along with the sun popping out,

when the couple came out of the church, bubbles floating around their heads.

The wedding party boarded a trolley car which whisked them somewhere

not divulged, to take photographs and begin their celebrating a marriage

I do believe will last.

It began at such an innocent age allowing time to grow, develop and

become true love.

 

 

 

 

Our Identifying ‘Songs’

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A West African tradition that fascinates me, is that when every

woman in their tribe of “Griots” is expecting a baby, they take

time to think and contemplate giving the baby, a ‘song.’ They go

off to meditate and come up with what they feel would be the

specific identifying chant or ‘song’ that will follow the upcoming

baby, throughout his or her life.

Have you ever heard of this tradition? I was so interested in this

and wished to share my source, the May, ’14 “Natural Awakenings”

magazine.  The article’s title is “Live  Your Song: Each of Us

Carries a Unique Inner Tune that Affirms Our True Nature.”

In this article, it explains that each person has a soul, in their

belief system. Each soul has a certain vibration that expresses its

unique and special purpose. It has a ‘flavor’ or ‘essence’ that can

be ‘heard.’

The baby’s birth is greeted by its song, giving it meaning and worth.

The times in the child’s life, where the song plays an important

part are when born, when getting ready to attend school, initiation

into adulthood and the time of marriage. The loving embrace of its

tune and melody is to keep the child feeling valuable and included.

If the child, young adult or grown adult should happen to break the

tribe’s rules or even worse, break a law, the tribe will circle the one

who has fallen away from them, chanting and singing their song.

The hope is that the community’s love will overwhelm the individual

and help them to find their way back to their original path. The final

time the Griot tribe, in West Africa, sings the special song is as family,

friends and the community gather at their bedside, helping them to

pass onto the next world, with the memory of their past life’s song.

I like the idea of a song, that our friends would know and recognize

it as ours. I would hope that we would always feel ‘in tune’ with our

family and friends. When we should ever wander away, move or

change our life’s direction, it would be so comforting to know that

our ‘song’ follows us, wherever we go.

Our ‘song’ would help lead us back home again, knowing the true

love, friendship and sense of belonging is waiting for us.

I had not realized that there are others, scientists and researchers,

who have studied this philosophy and practice of finding one’s ‘song.’

The persons considered “modern pioneers in vibrational energy,”

are Sharry Edwards (bio-acoustic biologist) and Donna Eden (energy

medicine field). They have independently detected that each of us has

a “fundamental signature frequency that can be equated to our unique

song that persists throughout our life.”

Some would say the ocean ‘calls to them,’ others would think that the

railroad train is their sound, with the thumping wheels along the track.

Natural songs can include birds. (That is my ‘song,’ not just because of

my name but the story about my Grandfather’s message sent through

the cardinal’s song).

The two women mentioned, Sharry and Donna, feel we innately seek

certain natural sounds that reinforce and strengthen our song.’

Other examples I read about were the sound of the surf, wind, rain or snow

falling. I could ‘hear,’ or imagine, someone’s ‘song’ in the trees shaking

from the breeze, the shivery feeling of the night sky filled with stars and

the moon. I think that some crave and need the sun’s warmth upon their

skin.

Your ‘song’ can be described as, “cell-to-cell vibrations” within ourselves.

We intuitively feel this these vibrations or rhythms as almost magical.

 

I found this sentence/quotation from the article to be meaningful:

“At one with the universe, our song contributes its part in the infinite

chorus of creation.”

 

(Quotations and research provided by Jill Mattson)

Please share if you feel you have a ‘song’ and let us know what really

‘moves’ you, intuitively.

 

Time is of the Essence!

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“Perfect Timing”

by Robin Cochran

Plane arrivals and departures,

cannot always be counted on.

The precious view from a distance

of a loved one’s approach, forgives

the inaccuracy in timing.

Dance recitals, a couple who share

their dance moves in a seamless

and singular motion.

Comedy sketches, where the comic

can deliver the powerful ‘punch

line’ with impeccable timing.

“Care packages”, sent with love,

just when you are about to get

homesick. (Away at camp or school.)

Mail arrival, when the letter and

written correspondence cheers you

up and out of a blue mood.

Money enclosures, arriving just in

time, to keep your checking account

out of the ‘red!’

Meeting someone new, either at work or

out in public, almost an ‘other worldly’

connection.

Theatre stage actors, delivering their

lines with power and strength, grasping

the audience in their timing.

New loves, when everything falls into

place, from the very first moment.

(“Across a crowded room…”)

Florist deliveries, full of pleasure and

wonderful scented arrangements that bring

apologies, in their arrival.

Musical partners or groups, who match the

beats and harmonize, while performing.

Unexpected phone calls, from distant and

long lost friends, filling in the gaps.

While moving out of or into a house,

people showing up, just when you needed

them.

Every time a hug is received…

Chores, completed within a certain rhythm

and gleefully unexpected moments.

Two cars, meeting at the same destination

arriving at the same time.

Send in the troops, the necessary back up

force while energy and strength is flagging.

Arrival of a new baby, whenever, however

unexpected it may be.

Jobs, where being there at the right place

and the right time.

The two acrobats, one ready to release from

the bar, the other ready to catch.

Home run ‘hits,’ football ‘goals,’ and other

sporting great moves!

Meals, while juggling varied dishes,

completion results in all at the same time.

Encouraging signs given, when least expected.

Some may call them, the Hand of God, Karma,

Kismet, Zen or Serendipity.

When has something in your own life, seemed

to be perfectly timed?

Following Your Intuition

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I am always glad to hear these words from my good, dear friend, Bill:

“Follow your intuition, Robin. You have a good head on your shoulders

and good instincts!”  I had a definitely “odd” conversation with my new

friend, Mark, last night. I normally have my youngest daughter over for

dinner after her Pilates instructing on Wed. She came in, teary eyed,

someone had rudely been saying things during her instruction and

leading the women in her class. Several people said to “ignore the

rudeness” or “don’t take that woman seriously!” Anyway, she was not

in the mood for dinner and took hers “to go” and headed on the road

after several Mom hugs and reassuring comments.

When I got the phone call, I was tempted, inexplicably, to just not

answer it. I had mentioned that Wednesday is my youngest daughter’s

visiting night, that we either watch a movie from the library or we watch

our “guilty and silly pleasure t.v. shows.” But Mark called, I had no real

reason not to answer and he launched into a discussion that revealed

a lot about himself.

He started by asking how my day had gone. I mentioned that he was

“lucky” since my youngest daughter had breezed in, taken her lentil

soup and her treat I had saved for her, “to go.” He said, “That was not

very nice to not sit and eat with you.” I explained that sometimes, she

and I like to “retreat” when we have been hurt or upset about a

personal situation. I told him the comments that my daughter had

heard while the rest of the women were silently doing their Pilates

to a soft background of music.

I asked how his day had gone, he mentioned it was “Same old, same

old.”

I asked what he wanted to talk about, he could choose the subject.

He asked about my divorces, I gave a quick one or two line explanation

for each of the divorces. I said the men had started out very open and

committed to making things work, as I had. But, over time, I found out

each had a flaw that I could not adjust to. I tried the hardest with my

first one, less with my second one, and the third one was more him

than me, that made it end. (1. alcoholism, 2. adultery and 3. control

issues.) I mentioned, that I was not able to reconcile my feelings, even

with the first two going to counseling. I took “responsibility” for the

end results.

This is what set new, calm and quiet Mark off! He said, “You women!

It is always our fault!”

I was not sure where I confused him with my summary so I went into

“repeat” mode. I do this, my children know this to be one of my “teacher”

characteristics. If you didn’t understand the “lesson” I will tell it in a

slightly different way.

When I finished the story of how my three marriages ended up in divorce,

I told him that I wondered why he felt I was blaming the men. I felt going

to counseling and AA meetings for the first, going to counseling and taking

a break at my parents’ home for a summer with my children, with my second

husband gallivanting around Europe, and the last one, sticking with the third

while he was unemployed and I was working two jobs and my Master’s degree

deserved a “medal” for marital fidelity.

Poor Mark, maybe he was just not used to my trying to be light hearted. Maybe

he was just trying to figure it all out. I told him that I believed in monogamy

and I believed in faithfulness, I tried with first one to understand a disease that

had changed him from a pleasant man to a mean drunk. Again, saying I just

could not adapt to the ignoring and waiting for him to decide to go to AA. I had

two little children with the first one. The second one left while my third child

was only 6 months old. Last one, I lost the house, he lost his car, I almost lost

my car and ultimately lost my job, through a perpetual struggle to paddle and

stay afloat in a sinking marriage.

This is his revelation that is very telling in itself. My head started repeating the

following words,

“Warning! Warning! Danger, Will Robinson!!” (“Lost in Space” t.v. show reference.)

I slowly listened, carefully digesting Mark’s words.

Here is Mark’s “break up story”:

“My wife left me without any warning at all. She went out the door one morning,

dressed to go to her professional job as a financial planner. She did not tell me

anything. I left about an hour later. I came home 9 hours later to find my house

cleared out of all of our good furniture. I wandered from room to room, crying

real tears. When I got to the family room, I saw her ‘Lady’s Lazy Boy’ sitting in

the corner with an end table between my ‘Men’s Lazy Boy.’ Behind the two

chairs, sitting side by side, there was our book shelf. It had been stripped of

all the books, mostly mine, and the only ones left were about one hundred

romance novels.”

I felt a weird shiver go through me, like deja vu (sorry the accent is not coming

up on the “vu” but you know what I mean!) My hairs on my arms stood up

and my head had a distinctly tingly feeling.

In the animal kingdom, animals instinctively “know” when a storm is brewing…

Watch your own sense of intuition and your inner “signs,” too.

The way I was raised, we had no boundaries. We spoke out, we debated and

made “bargains” as early as I remember. I did not ever feel stifled, but somehow

the word “stifled” entered my mind at the end of that recitation in a monotone

of his wife’s leaving Mark.

“Actions speak louder than words” in this case.

I asked him quietly, “What do you think she meant when she left only the two

Lazy Boys and her books?”

Mark said, “Hell if I know! What do you make of it?”

I thought and was pensive, I was silent. I could not say what I thought.

I told him, “I will think about it for awhile and let you know. What did your

friends think?”

He responded back, “They couldn’t figure it out, she had it made! I mean,

she had a beautiful house, great clothes, car, family and everything!”

To summarize my feelings, I will tell you this, my dear fellow bloggers,

I think I know why Mark was so different and so distant, guarded at the

restaurant. I also am not sure why I did not pick up on my gut feelings

until now.

I won’t be dating Mark, I believe our break through in communication

was our downfall.  With some foreboding feelings, I am not comfortable

going any farther in our relationship. Two dinners (Buns and Opa’s), two

coffees and a movie date. Finally, got to the “heart of the matter.”

Have you ever had a warning signal go off? Did you follow it or ignore it?

What happened next?

I have to follow my intuition.

Not my “match made from Heaven.”

Too bad!

Nice stuff and all!