Category Archives: Lao Tzu

Friend’s response


I have written so many times about my friend, Bill, that you

must feel like you know him! He is the man who my daughter

met at Bob Evans while she served him  coffee. We have figured

out this happened while she was age 15, now 12 years ago.

Bill is the man who once I started working at Advance Auto

distribution center, we started to become friends.

After that, we realized that he had been a friend of a man (Daniel)

whose parents I became close to at the Arbors nursing home

where I was an Activities Director. Daniel is one of the three men

named Dan that I dated in one month and wrote a post about.

Then, we realized that after Daniel’s parents died, I have lived

in that friend’s apartment building. Also, after we reflected back over

the years, our two families had lived in nearby towns. Somehow, 2 of my

3 teens had been friends with 3 0f his 5 teenagers, years ago!

Oh, and now, 2 of his 5 children work with my oldest daughter!

We have had so many overlapping lives that we revel in the fact that

karma or fate wanted us to share this path we walk together as friends.

We have credited that at least 3-4 times our paths crossed but probably

if we took a complete tally and we counted them, we have had almost

eight chances to meet.

Anyway, Bill and I ate dinner at Red Lobster this past Friday. We were

talking from the minute I got into his car until the minute he dropped

me back off at my apartment. Oh, by the way, Bill was divorced many

years before we actually dated and travelled around together for almost

four years. We mostly considered each other good friends and companions.

We have ultimately decided that we are not destined to live together nor

share our lives on a daily basis. We “work out” best as once or twice a month

best friends. I have written many posts all about Bill including our beginning.

(“The Man Who Knew My Daughter First” and goes on from there.)

The reason I am going to add this post to all the rest is more to define our

friendship and glorify the way two people who may not have a lot of surface

commonalities have a lot of deeper common threads, our values are very

similar. This to me sounds like a free form of poetry:


Family, God and True Friendship

We don’t agree in our religions but we believe in having a personal relationship

with God.

We don’t agree in ways to handle our problems. I raise my voice using dramatic

effect and he uses a rational, calm tone. But we do appreciate the ying and yang of

it. We can talk things out forever!

We don’t always agree in our health choices. I don’t like Bill’s smoking nor some

of the “bad” stuff he puts into his body. He agrees that these are his personal choices

and yet, I cannot help wanting to preach to him! (While I indulge in some cheesy

biscuits and shrimp scampi!)

We don’t agree about politics. He is not ever going to vote, he does not believe in

voting. But he does tell me that if he were to vote, he would choose the party I

vote for!

We don’t always agree on relationships. I believe in a firm and exclusive situation.

He feels that there should be no boundaries in relationships, everyone should be

able to have as many friends, no matter which sex they are. Part of this would rattle

me due to my past experiences and insecurities.

I do believe he is “very wise.”

He thinks I am “smart.”


I would like to close with a quote he sent me after our dinner and conversation.

To emphasize relationships that do work, Bill quoted Lao Tzu:


“The small tree that bends with the wind will not break,

but the tall and mighty oak that has lost its flexibility

will topple with the slightest breeze.”