I have written so many times about my friend, Bill, that you
must feel like you know him! He is the man who my daughter
met at Bob Evans while she served him coffee. We have figured
out this happened while she was age 15, now 12 years ago.
Bill is the man who once I started working at Advance Auto
distribution center, we started to become friends.
After that, we realized that he had been a friend of a man (Daniel)
whose parents I became close to at the Arbors nursing home
where I was an Activities Director. Daniel is one of the three men
named Dan that I dated in one month and wrote a post about.
Then, we realized that after Daniel’s parents died, I have lived
in that friend’s apartment building. Also, after we reflected back over
the years, our two families had lived in nearby towns. Somehow, 2 of my
3 teens had been friends with 3 0f his 5 teenagers, years ago!
Oh, and now, 2 of his 5 children work with my oldest daughter!
We have had so many overlapping lives that we revel in the fact that
karma or fate wanted us to share this path we walk together as friends.
We have credited that at least 3-4 times our paths crossed but probably
if we took a complete tally and we counted them, we have had almost
eight chances to meet.
Anyway, Bill and I ate dinner at Red Lobster this past Friday. We were
talking from the minute I got into his car until the minute he dropped
me back off at my apartment. Oh, by the way, Bill was divorced many
years before we actually dated and travelled around together for almost
four years. We mostly considered each other good friends and companions.
We have ultimately decided that we are not destined to live together nor
share our lives on a daily basis. We “work out” best as once or twice a month
best friends. I have written many posts all about Bill including our beginning.
(“The Man Who Knew My Daughter First” and goes on from there.)
The reason I am going to add this post to all the rest is more to define our
friendship and glorify the way two people who may not have a lot of surface
commonalities have a lot of deeper common threads, our values are very
similar. This to me sounds like a free form of poetry:
Family, God and True Friendship
We don’t agree in our religions but we believe in having a personal relationship
We don’t agree in ways to handle our problems. I raise my voice using dramatic
effect and he uses a rational, calm tone. But we do appreciate the ying and yang of
it. We can talk things out forever!
We don’t always agree in our health choices. I don’t like Bill’s smoking nor some
of the “bad” stuff he puts into his body. He agrees that these are his personal choices
and yet, I cannot help wanting to preach to him! (While I indulge in some cheesy
biscuits and shrimp scampi!)
We don’t agree about politics. He is not ever going to vote, he does not believe in
voting. But he does tell me that if he were to vote, he would choose the party I
We don’t always agree on relationships. I believe in a firm and exclusive situation.
He feels that there should be no boundaries in relationships, everyone should be
able to have as many friends, no matter which sex they are. Part of this would rattle
me due to my past experiences and insecurities.
I do believe he is “very wise.”
He thinks I am “smart.”
I would like to close with a quote he sent me after our dinner and conversation.
To emphasize relationships that do work, Bill quoted Lao Tzu:
“The small tree that bends with the wind will not break,
but the tall and mighty oak that has lost its flexibility
will topple with the slightest breeze.”