Category Archives: Lies!

Strange Changes

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This is going to be filled with mysteries and wonders.

Well, mainly situations that are confusing to me!

I could have just as well named this: “Texts and Subtexts.”

In no particular order, I begin with a man who is about

my age. He has been rather friendly at the library on a few

occasions. He has told me things about his dogs around the

holidays. I may have written about him before.

We have been elbow to elbow, on side by side computers

several times. Each time he has been open and gregarious.

Our conversations usually impart brief details.

His sister lives in California.

There is a unique company that makes ‘dog booties’ to keep

big and small animals’ paws warm in the cold weather.

What did I know about this subject?

I knew that I have seen little dogs, like my Mom’s ‘other’

dog, who lives with my brother and sister in law, (Bella)

wear sweaters but, no, honestly their Golden Retriever and

Newfoundland relish and roll around in snow.

This man is named Roger, introduced himself one late

afternoon, before Saturday’s library closing time. He

wondered,

“Would you like to grab a quick dinner since I have to

get home in time to walk my dogs?”

He went on to explain he has two large dogs.

I smiled telling him that I had shared, in a past talk,

that my brother and his wife also had two big dogs.

Roger didn’t seem to notice that we had had more than a

conversation or two.

I pondered, I stalled and then, due to a certain weird

inner feeling, I declined and told him,

“Thank you anyway.”

About five minutes later, he chose to rummage through his

back pack, taking things out of it, kind of piling them

close to my ‘space.’ The last thing he pulled out of

this mess was a familiar looking plastic bag with a

famous dog ‘treat’ name on it. He did not seem to be

noticing this, pulling out a long ‘Pupperoni.’ As I was

looking at him, sideways, I pulled in my breath, producing

an exclamatory,

“Huh!”

He looked down and then, of course, he told me he thought

he had grabbed a different kind of snack to nibble on. I

let it go, but he started to tell me he loves ‘Slim Jim’s’

and they look just like this. I nodded my head and kept on

blogging.

It did seem rather funny, but I kept my sniggering at him,

inside me!

Early this week I saw Roger and there were no other

computers available, except the one beside him. I sat down

and said a quiet and polite, “Hi.”

I started taking out my story about Mom and our visit over

the weekend. He looked at me closely and said,

“Hey, I asked you out a few weeks’ back, didn’t I?”

I whispered back,

“Yes, how have you been?”

(Hard to break my politeness, even when I was trying to put

him off.)

He answered that it was finally clearing up and the

weather was getting warmer by Valentine’s Day.

I (seriously) did not respond or ‘bite on that lure.’

This is the puzzling thing, as I was packing up and

putting my notebook, gloves and pen away in my own bag,

I saw a woman approach Roger from the back of his chair.

She placed both hands on his shoulders and asked,

“Are you ready to go, honey?”

Not cool, Roger!

I wonder if I had chosen to go out for that ‘quick bite’

a few weeks’ ago, what kind of story he would have told,

upon arriving home,

full of food?

Hmmm…

My dear, old friend, Bill, has been the subject of at least

once a month stories, due to our First Friday’s out and our

having been friends, parents of children who are also

friends and our two oldest daughters are still coworkers.

He has been in a six to eight month relationship with a

younger woman named, Heather. We have spent at least a

half hour or more each month dissecting someone I have

been interested in, past or present, and more than that

about his ‘girlfriend.’ They have taken a ‘break’ from

being physically involved, but they spend every work break

(third shift, so I don’t see them, except as they leave) and

many mornings after Bill drives her children to school.

This is not an unusual circumstance, people remain friends

after they have ‘broken up,’ but this next part is the very

confusing “news.”

Bill is moving into Heather’s apartment building, which

is actually a large, older home that has been sectioned

off into four or five apartments. She will live on a

different floor in her own apartment, with her children

and she will also be his ‘on site’ apartment manager.

I am wondering how I would survive this new arrangement,

with ANY of the diverse men I have dated and then, ‘moved

on’ from?

Good luck on that, Bill! And I expect to hear more of

the different details of your inexplicable, crazy life!

Melvin was open to answering questions about the Beatles

and his girlfriend, during a recent break at work. He

feels that the Beatles’ influences are too numerous to

even contemplate! His favorite songs from their career

include, “Get Back, Jo Jo!” and “Give Peace a Chance.”

When I asked him, “What are your plans for Valentine’s

Day?”

He responded that his girlfriend of over fifteen years,

who he lives with, and he were planning to go the base

commissary to pick up some groceries. Also, that they might

eat lunch out, since we expect to be out of our work by

ten thirty or eleven o’clock, tomorrow.

I asked this normally affectionate and warm man, to all

around him, what was Melvin’s special gift he was giving her?

In his rarely used, ‘cocky’ attitude voice, he responded,

“Why, Robin, she will receive the pleasure of my company!”

My response was to roll my eyes at him, head out of the

break room and back to work!

As I was leaving, Melvin almost ran to catch up with me,

asking me if I would like him to buy a bottle of Tart

Cherry juice for my gift from him, at the commissary?

(He says this cures all ills you may have. He has tried

to campaign for me to start using this antidote to the

different aches and pains that I sometimes join in with

others who are complaining.)

Much later, digging himself into a hole, Melvin said that

he wished I would go swimming with his girlfriend and

himself at the local YMCA, and added,

“With a bikini on!”

Men!

The man who I have mentioned, Mark, who is my coworker

who has my phone number and we have had some great and

revealing conversations with told me about his fears

about his mother in this inclement weather. Mark has

been noticeably absent recently and I was glad to hear

that his reason is that if ice or cold would somehow

effect the electricity at his rural located house, he

needs to be there to start the ‘back up generator.’

I was glad to hear that his mother and he were not sick

and wished him a good weekend, when I was leaving to

head to my Mom’s. I was pleased to have him worry about

my traveling back on Sunday, too.

If this is going to develop into a relationship, it is

looking like it will take awhile. It’s moving at a

snail’s pace. Or slower than molasses!

Back to the subject of men and their approaches to life.

I am wondering if you have ever thought I would be open

to beginning an affair or flirtatious email interactions

with a man in a committed relationship?

Do I give off these ‘vibes?’

I wondered about this and my closest girlfriend says, “No

way! You have blogged about your ex-husband and how you

don’t have a broken moral compass. Also, you have only

said, ‘hugs’ when writing notes online, and you would

never do this, Robin!”

I have had that man at the library (who now we all know

is married) and a man who asked for my email address who

complained about his relationship with his wife. I have

been on a fellow blogger’s site where I have spent a

few conversations pressing my opinion that it is good

to try new things with your partner. I have also recommended

counseling and the movie, “Hope Springs” is rather explicit

in handling a love life that has turned into a ‘desert.’

And I mean an arid desert not a delicious dessert!

Anyway, I was disheartened with this personal exchange from

someone who has responded on my blog, although you would

not remember him, since his is very infrequent in his

comments.

I guess I just wanted to ask this question, letting you

know (and possibly visitors here, too) that I would not

want to get involved with a man who is either in a

marriage or a committed relationship. I don’t judge you

or anyone else, if you do this… Just don’t ask me to!

I would go back to my Pierce Brosnan, look alike, ex-husband

and have an affair…if I didn’t have a conscience.

(He has been married for over 20 years but pitches a campaign

once a year for me to ‘fool around’ with him.)

I would not go with any strangers nor participate in said,

“dirty talk” that you find in chat rooms, as this fellow

blogger suggested I do.

My politeness and indirect approach may have not been

understandable to the reader.

My direct approach with this subject and controversy is

hopefully clear as glass that has been polished with a

cleaning product like Windex!

Lastly, on this subject, I have never quite known what

Meatloaf, the singer, meant in his song,

“I Would Do Anything For Love.”

In my case, “I would NOT do that!”

Thanks for ‘listening’ to me.

Happy Valentine’s Day tomorrow!

The Truth

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It seems like this word, in itself, could fill journals about

its meaning and consequences. The lack of it, definitely present

in society, individuals and often in companies’ actions. It is a

hard thing to come by, these days, it seems, to find an honest

person. Everywhere you turn, media in all its glory, flashes on

the falseness, the liar, and the unfaithful people. Businesses

have false advertising and people who hold C.E.O. positions are

often taking the brunt of the lies, sometimes knowingly promoting

them. Politicians are not to be trusted, or so the media often

publicizes the ones that are the worst, anyway.

“White lies” or “fibs” are what you would normally expect among

friends, loved ones and family. It would be great if that was the

“worst” you would have to face on a daily basis: someone telling

you look “nice” when you are recovering from the flu or that

dress “fits you,” when it has different areas pinching you in

all the wrong places!

It would be fantastic if there were no lying going on. I loved

the wit, satire and sarcasm of Ricky Gervais in the “The Invention

of Lying.” Poor, beautiful Jennifer Garner’s character is the “foil”

for a lot of the jokes and being so sincerely sweet and innocent,

believing Ricky’s character’s bold faced lies!

The song, “You Can Count on Me” comes from the adorable animated

children’s film, “The Fox and the Hound.” It is a great song about

how friends can count on each other. It was written in 1982, by

Burt Bacharach and has been performed by Rod Stewart, Dionne Warwick

Stevie Wonder, and many more. This leads to my second favorite

song about friendship, it begins with those infamous words, “Winter,

Spring, Summer or Fall…” (“You’ve Got a Friend” sung by James Taylor.)

Both of these songs are talking about your friends being there for you,

through thick and thin. I would like to say, that most people also

assume their friends and lovers will be honest, too. I mean, why would

someone say they are your best friend, or “You are my best friend” and

then, turn around and lie? Also, who would expect someone to say the

wedding vows, then within months, turn around and cheat on their new

bride or groom?

I have a “belief system” that I have “paid” for my mistakes in not

always being honest, if I have misjudged someone, or when I omitted

the truth. This is when I feel “karma” has come into play. Maybe

some would think God would punish the lies. I am not sure about this,

I prefer to think payback comes in time, “what goes around, comes

around.”

As I get older, though, sincerely to tell you the truth, I find it

easier to keep my ‘facts straight’ and to stay on the ‘straight and

narrow,” by just telling the truth. Isn’t that a mouthful? But, I

think you may understand, when you ‘make up excuses’ for not attending

a dinner, helping a friend move or something even more serious, you

don’t feel like going to a funeral, if you don’t just say, “I don’t

feel like it,” inevitably you will be caught in this “lie.” You will

be running out to get milk and you aren’t really “sick” as you had

given for the excuse out of a dinner with a somewhat irritating

friend or relative. They catch you and then, not only is their mistrust,

but you must pay with a bunch of guilty feelings!

While discoursing, without much factual backing on this subject, I had

to tell you that the famous line, Jack Nicholas’ character belts out

in the great movie, “A Few Good Men” echoes in my mind:

“You can’t handle the truth!!”

This can also happen, in your life, you are hiding your head like a

turtle, sheltering your heart. You don’t want to know that the person

you loved is unfaithful to you. You don’t want to really know your friend

cheated on her income taxes. You don’t want to… fill in the blanks of

when you would rather hear a lie. You would rather be comforted with the

blanket of untruthfulness.

Have you ever met someone who could look you straight in your eyes, without

batting their eyes, and they could tell you a lie? I have had two men in

my life and a girlfriend do this. It is heart breaking and also, strange when

you look back, seeing that there were threads left dangling, there was some

unraveling going on and you chose to ignore it.

While watching a rerun of “Criminal Minds” I found out that a man or woman

can take the lie detector test and still “pass it” by biting the inside of

their mouth. By creating a painful moment, their can be irregularities in

those “spikes” where the reader can see the lies. But, it can be artificially

created in intervals with little tricks like biting the inside of your mouth,

taking big, deep breaths and exhaling to give your pulse and reactions some

time to relax.

When people are put on the witness stand, they place a hand on the Bible,

then they say those famous words, “I swear to tell the truth, the whole

truth, so help me God.” Wish we could just go around in our lives, being

able to trust our friends, neighbors and loved ones. Sometimes this is

not possible. When you have to face a person who lied to you, how easy

is it for you to forgive? Are their different “levels of transgressions”

that would help you to decide how soon to give out forgiveness?

A serious subject and a diversion from Christmas. Far from the happy

posts, recently, and I hope you will forgive my “breaking up the party”

for these few moments…

Lying.”

Mysteries Solved!

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I am a big mystery reader and watcher of movies, t.v. and now,

currently have a little mystery in my life. No! It is not a new man!

I have someone who has been trying to goad me, parry with me

and sometimes has been outright mean! I have written a murder

mystery of over 500 pages, so I am good at solving and also,

deducing from the facts and clues given!

I have grandchildren who love this book called, “The Mystery of

the Missing Peanuts.” Donald Duck is the detective and answers

his telephone, “Mysteries solved!” The zookeeper is Mickey Mouse

and there are missing peanuts. We, as adults, know the solution

ahead of the game. But it is a fun book going through animals to see

if they can reach the bag of peanuts through a hole in the building.

It includes “setting the trap” where there is a bell and string and

blue paint to mark the feet of the guilty parties. I won’t ruin the fun

unless you ask but I do love the little pranksters who are the ones

who have been stealing the peanuts! Their just rewards are they

have to work off the peanuts by sweeping up peanut shells that

visitors to the zoo leave behind.

I also loved the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle books, now of course

everyone knows the famous character of Sherlock Holmes. I

happened to like the one that PBS had his Watson using the

Internet and Holmes was kind of like a savant with his seeing

the details of situations. I do like Jonny Lee Miller’s quirky

and sometimes bizarre Sherlock Holmes on television with

Lucy Liu as Watson. Mainly, I was blessed with a strange

father who read us the mysteries  when we had outgrown

his favorite, A.A. Milne’s “House at Pooh’s Corner.”

I am a fan of Edgar Allen Poe who has a very morbid, dark

approach to his short stories. They are not considered mysteries,

per se, but are very much intriguing. My two favorites are the

most common ones, “A Telltale Heart” and “The Cask of

Amontillado.” I may have referred to Toby Keith’s song which

has him walling in a woman because he is upset with her, but

ends up walling himself in. It is titled, “It’s a Little Too Late.”

It is an interesting video on YouTube but it has been awhile

since I saw it… It definitely is an indication that the lyricist

knew the story that Edgar Allen Poe wrote!

This is the debate at my lunchroom table, several women and

two men. They think that someone who used to be a commenter

on my blog knew me. I think that someone who used to write

oppostional things, sarcastic comments, accused me once through

a thinly veiled parallel story of “lying.” I have been told by the men

“Hey, this would make an interesting story to write!” and one of the

women said, “Why don’t you tell this to your blog?” Getting the angst

out is their thought process.

My thoughts are I have not very often rubbed someone the wrong way

before. I was a little distracted at first when they started subtly jabbing

at me. Then, there were a few parries where I ended up writing a

response… And right before Easter, at the library I am checking my

posts and responses, that was the final stab. I had a hard time putting

it out of my mind over the weekend and then, on Monday I was sadly

consumed with the questions, “Why?” and more importantly, “Who?”

Hopefully, writing this down will relieve my mind and also, you may

have some suggestions about past episodes of these kinds of things.

My Mom went off on the “jealousy” tangent. She talked about a woman

who had liked my Dad and how she had caused a ruckus in her life for

a short while. I did write about that in a blog/post “Jealousy Happens

at Any Age” or some sort of title. I told her the details that were being

thrown around indicated a knowledge of my personal life and I had

felt attacked.

End result: I “spammed” him or her! That is all I could figure out to do!

If you know a permanent block system let me know! And don’t worry,

my mind is calm and free of any fears of repercussion. Time with my

beloved mother and all six grandchildren plus my children over the

weekend should have wiped it out. I had some huge hugs from a

couple of friends and that finished it off and wiped away the hurt totally.

A great quote of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle,

“For strange effects and extraordinary combinations,

we must go to life itself,

which is always far more daring

than any effort of the imagination!”