Category Archives: Muffin Man

Short and Long of It

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Tonja is short and sweet, Milton is tall, long armed and legged.

 He has unusually large hands. These two people look like polar

opposites but have the cutest three children. They have the silliest

story of “How we met each other.”

Tonja was working in the frosting cookies section of Cheryl’s 

Cookies in Columbus, Ohio when she found herself daydreaming.

She had “taken a liking to the muffin man.” She was from a small

town in the eastern hills of Kentucky and had moved north with

a high school girlfriend. They had saved their hard earned wages

from waiting tables at a truck stop to head to the “Big, exciting City 

of Columbus, Ohio.”

In the middle of a busy day, Tonja was looking across the almost

‘factory atmosphere’ at the tall, lanky dark haired ‘muffin man.’

He was pouring blueberry muffin dough into the machine that

squirts it in spurts. This process makes the large, blueberry muffins

that have coarsely ground sugar sprinkled on immediately before

baking.

She had “no clue” to his name, but she had several daily fantasies

on the subject of the unknown tall, dark and handsome muffin man.

The dreams started with her drive into work, while working and

finally, right before her eyes closed each night. These started since

she first saw, coveted and craved possessing him!

For some reason, he was preoccupied. He was glancing in a whole

different direction from where he was pouring the blueberry muffin

dough. And, to her horror and concern, he was missing a big glob

that was slowly sinking down the side of the “chute you poured the

dough into.”

Tonja set her vanilla butter cream frosting tube down on a sheet of

parchment paper. She had made a huge decision that could get her

into trouble, one kind she would not mind at all! (If you could hear

Tonja gleefully telling this story, it would be so much more fun!)

Anyway, Tonja started trotting across the distance to the muffin

making center.

The muffin man did not hear her first cry of “Hey” from several feet

away. He was still distracted, in his own world and not paying

attention.

Tonja repeated her yell, “Hey! You are missing your pour and it is

oozing down the side of the chute!”

As his head turned and he focused into who was talking to him, his 

face changed and broke into a friendly smile. He said, “Hey!” back

at Tonja. He also did grab a clean cloth to try to salvage the dough

by running it back up the tube and into the chute.

As he did this, in a very casual voice he spoke, “My name is Milton,

what’s yours?”

That is the short story that will tell you so much by reading between

the lines and believing that two coworkers can be meant to be forever

together, the “Muffin Man,” his wife, the “Frosting Girl” and their little

munchkins. One of whom wears pink cowboy boots everywhere she 

goes, to kindergarten, to the store, to family gatherings and to our

annual Advance Auto summer picnic where I met her. You can just

tell that these parents march to their own drummer, along with their

little brood.

Tonja works no longer at Cheryl’s Cookies, she is a first bin order filler.  

Milton no longer works there either. He is a great third shift shipping

clerk working at Advance Auto distribution center also.

They are two happy ships that cross paths in the morning who give each

other a “hello” and “goodbye” kiss.