As my good friend, Bill and I were walking out of the movie we saw
together on First Friday in January, he turned to ask me what was the
big deal about the new movie, “Fifty Shades of Grey?” I told him that
my youngest daughter and her friends got very excited about the book,
passing it around like it was a ‘chocolate bar’ or something that could
not be put down when it first came out. I told him I had written a post
back in 2013. They finally found a cast in late 2013 or early 2014, the
movie is going to be released so couples can go see it together for
Valentine’s Day, 2015.
I will re-blog the post I wrote about the book since I have read the first
one. It may or may not persuade you to go see the movie. I have already,
not too long ago, written a post which stood up and said, “I didn’t like
the movie, ‘Gone Girl.'” I hate to put my neck out once again about a
film based on a book. I just will hope you ‘hear me out,’ on the subject!
There is a big hoopla going on about the book, “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
I am sure you have heard there are shocking love or sexual scenes in it.
You can imagine, if you have not read the book, it has lots of juicy and
intimate details. I am glad that the female author (a single mother with a
family to support) who wrote it will be able to help her family survive for
quite awhile on the (3) books’ proceeds.
Now, with a movie on its way to be released, the topic needed to be
opened, just like a can of worms. You know I don’t hide from fear or
When I heard that it was a trilogy, I was flabbergasted. I guess I cannot
imagine it being that great of a subject matter. A boss who uses control
of the young woman underneath him, both at work and in the bedroom,
just doesn’t sound like my ‘cup of tea.’
What makes me write about this is the fact that it is intermingling two
diverse subjects: sexual pleasure (lovemaking) and control. There is
a breathy element of naughty mixed with the possibility of danger in
the books. I am not one who likes to give up my own right to express
myself and handing over power to an authority figure, as in the case
of Mr. Grey, I cannot imagine Human Resources being too happy with
this situation either. I only got through one of the books; just barely.
I have a few thoughts about the first book. Sorry, I did not wish to read
the other ones, but I can base this on the first one. . .
I have seen a few good movies which cover the same subject matter and
topic. Both Nicholas Cage and Clint Eastwood played characters who
explored the “under belly of the city.” They investigated the sleazy world
of pornography, sex trade of prostitutes and the subject of asphyxiation
to create a “high.”
All of this is by no means “NEW.” I do remember Cage’s film was
called, “8 mm.”
Clint Eastwood was in two movies on the subject, “Play Misty for Me”
and the more risqué one, “Tightrope.”
The movie, “8 mm.” refers to the film size not the male organ’s size.
(Trying to get you to laugh!)
There is a sad and also violent more current movie entitled, “Blue
Valentine.” In it the couple is played by Michelle Williams and Ryan
Gosling. I also have seen, “In the Cut” with Mark Ruffalo. There are
mainstream movies that have the enticement of the naughty and kinky
parts of relationships.
When salacious details are told in the context of a mystery, intrigue or
relationship analysis, it can be worth watching.
Maybe that is what people are figuring why “Fifty Shades of Grey” is
worth reading. How the romance and relationship are enhanced by
interesting use of role playing captive and captor.
Props to play games in the bedroom such as scarves or neckties can
be fun, as well as handcuffs. The quality of the book is more of the
issue, along with the way some of the readers have become rabid,
almost in their fascination and conversations.
Every summer I have chosen what I consider ‘beach reads,’ books
that have romance or some playfulness in the plot. For mysteries,
Janet Evanovich, (I have read up to her #19th book, which includes
the two men in the main character of the book’s life.) I also read Nora
Roberts and other romance novelists, who have manly or masculine
‘heroes’ and feminine, but independent, heroines. I like the use of
both characters having the quality of strength, along with a sensitive
nature or side for both sexes coming into play.
I am abhorrent of the idea of mixing violence, or even roughness,
You may call me a little old fashioned but no one I know would call
me a “prude” or “prurient” in nature.
I have a lot of enjoyable and fun memories of the days of trying all
kinds of positions, sex toys, and lubricants. I still have many styles of
lingerie; some of which added a lot of excitement on three honeymoons.
Working as a child advocate at a battered women’s shelter put a major
damper on some of my thinking about whips, chains and being tied
up. The act of choking someone to get them to be on the edge of an
orgasm is not something you would consider seriously once you met
and witnessed a few women who had the ligature marks from the hands
that had surrounded their necks.
The bruising on “CSI” television shows or “Law and Order, Special
Victim’s Unit,” pales in comparison to the actual and real sight of this.
I have met and heard the most horrendous stories of women who had
started the evening while making love with their significant other, only
to have it “go way wrong.”
This would include the woman whose husband wanted her to wear her
cowboy boots and a cowgirl vest while he wore his steel toed boots.
Warning! Below reading this, consider if it will upset you too much.
If you don’t want to hear this, stop and skip this part. It is violent.
The cowboy used his steel toed boot where it did not belong. It was
not her idea of excitement and the surgery needed to repair this,
along with her lifelong residual pain, is horrendous.
The emergency room staff called me, since I was “on call” to pick her
up. Usually I was packing my children in a car to pick up someone
with or without their child/children at the police station. This is
because a police car would reveal the confidential location of the
shelter if it were to be the transporter.
Another instance, was a man who thought while his wife was
suspended by a rope low enough to enter her, that would make her
have a great time and it would help get his rocks off, too. It ended
up another emergency room disaster. The nurse was required to
call the police, who then pressed charges on the man since it
turned out, the wife had not been consensual but actually had
been coerced into this bizarre sexual situation.
The hospital does not take kindly to these acts and will press charges
if they are involved, even if the woman doesn’t want to press charges.
That is the law and they have made a commitment to report any abuse
or suspicion of abuse.
Even if both parties are agreed at the beginning, most of the time,
the women who get hurt, admit they were asking the male participant
Sometimes, of course, it is an accidental situation but for the most
part, the woman have been dosed with a certain “date rape” drug or
over-indulged with alcohol.
In those cases, the police do step in. The man is accused of taking
advantage of the situation.
I hope all those enjoying the book series will continue to do so.
I just had to put my 2 cents in.
I have to say, “NO THANKS,” when it comes to participating in
games where there are dominant and submissive roles.
Not that anyone is asking for me to actively participate
in such sexual escapades. . .