Category Archives: Nicholas Cage

Upcoming Movie Based on Book, “Fifty Shades of Grey”

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As my good friend, Bill and I were walking out of the movie we saw

together on First Friday in January, he turned to ask me what was the

big deal about the new movie, “Fifty Shades of Grey?” I told him that

my youngest daughter and her friends got very excited about the book,

passing it around like it was a ‘chocolate bar’ or something that could

not be put down when it first came out. I told him I had written a post

back in 2013. They finally found a cast in late 2013 or early 2014, the

movie is going to be released so couples can go see it together for

Valentine’s Day, 2015.

 

I will re-blog the post I wrote about the book since I have read the first

one. It may or may not persuade you to go see the movie. I have already,

not too long ago, written a post which stood up and said, “I didn’t like

the movie, ‘Gone Girl.'” I hate to put my neck out once again about a

film based on a book. I just will hope you ‘hear me out,’ on the subject!

 

There is a big hoopla going on about the book, “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

I am sure  you have heard there are shocking love or sexual scenes in it.

You can imagine, if you have not read the book, it has lots of  juicy and

intimate details. I am glad that the female author (a single mother with a

family to support) who wrote it will be able to help her family survive for

quite awhile on the (3) books’ proceeds.

 

Now, with a movie on its way to be released, the topic needed to be

opened, just like a can of worms. You know I don’t hide from fear or

controversy.

 

When I heard that it was a trilogy, I was flabbergasted. I guess I cannot

imagine it being that great of a subject matter. A boss who uses control

of the young woman underneath him, both at work and in the bedroom,

just doesn’t sound like my ‘cup of tea.’

 

What makes me write about this is the fact that it is intermingling two

diverse subjects: sexual pleasure (lovemaking) and control. There is

a breathy element of naughty mixed with the possibility of danger in

the books. I am not one who likes to give up my own right to express

myself and handing over power to an authority figure, as in the case

of Mr. Grey, I cannot imagine Human Resources being too happy with

this situation either. I only got through one of the books; just barely.

 

I have a few thoughts about the first book. Sorry, I did not wish to read

the other ones, but I can base this on the first one. . .

 

I have seen a few good movies which cover the same subject matter and

topic. Both Nicholas Cage and Clint Eastwood played characters who

explored the “under belly of the city.” They investigated the sleazy world

of pornography, sex trade of prostitutes and the subject of asphyxiation

to create a “high.”

 

All of this is by no means “NEW.” I do remember Cage’s film was

called, “8 mm.”

Clint Eastwood was in two movies on the subject, “Play Misty for Me”

and the more risqué one, “Tightrope.”

 

The movie, “8 mm.” refers to the film size not the male organ’s size.

(Trying to get you to laugh!)

 

There is a sad and also violent more current movie entitled, “Blue

Valentine.” In it the couple is played by Michelle Williams and Ryan

Gosling. I also have seen, “In the Cut” with Mark Ruffalo. There are

mainstream movies that have the enticement of the naughty and kinky

parts of relationships.

When salacious details are told in the context of a mystery, intrigue or

relationship analysis, it can be worth watching.

 

Maybe that is what people are figuring why “Fifty Shades of Grey” is

worth reading. How the romance and relationship are enhanced by

interesting use of role playing captive and captor.

 

Props to play games in the bedroom such as scarves or neckties can

be fun, as well as handcuffs. The quality of the book is more of the

issue, along with the way some of the readers have become rabid,

almost in their fascination and conversations.

 

Every summer I have chosen what I consider ‘beach reads,’ books

that have romance or some playfulness in the plot. For mysteries,

Janet Evanovich, (I have read up to her #19th book, which includes

the two men in the main character of the book’s life.) I also read Nora

Roberts and other romance novelists, who have manly or masculine

‘heroes’ and feminine, but independent, heroines. I like the use of

both characters having the quality of strength, along with a sensitive

nature or side for both sexes coming into play.

 

I am abhorrent of the idea of mixing violence, or even roughness,

with sex.

You may call me a little old fashioned but no one I know would call

me a “prude” or “prurient” in nature.

 

I have a lot of enjoyable and fun memories of the days of trying all

kinds of positions, sex toys, and lubricants. I still have many styles of

lingerie; some of which added a lot of excitement on three honeymoons.

 

Working as a child advocate at a battered women’s shelter put a major

damper on some of my thinking about whips, chains and being tied

up.  The act of choking someone to get them to be on the edge of an

orgasm is not something you would consider seriously once you met

and witnessed a few women who had the ligature marks from the hands

that had surrounded their necks.

 

The bruising on “CSI” television shows or “Law and Order, Special

Victim’s Unit,” pales in comparison to the actual and real sight of this.

I have  met and heard the most horrendous stories of women who had

started the evening while making love with their significant other, only

to have it “go way wrong.”

 

This would include the woman whose husband wanted her to wear her

cowboy boots and a cowgirl vest while he wore his steel toed boots.

Warning! Below reading this, consider if it will upset you too much.

 

If you don’t want to hear this, stop and skip this part. It is violent.

The cowboy used his steel toed boot where it did not belong. It was

not her idea of excitement and the surgery needed to repair this,

along with her lifelong residual pain, is horrendous.

 

The emergency room staff called me, since I was “on call” to pick her

up. Usually I was packing my children in a car to pick up someone

with or without their child/children at the police station. This is

because a police car would reveal the confidential location of the

shelter if it were to be the transporter.

 

Another instance, was a man who thought while his wife was

suspended by a rope low enough to enter her, that would make her

have a great time and it would help get his rocks off, too. It ended

up another emergency room disaster. The nurse was required to

call the police, who then pressed charges on the man since it

turned out, the wife had not been consensual but actually had

been coerced into this bizarre sexual situation.

 

The hospital does not take kindly to these acts and will press charges

if they are involved, even if the woman doesn’t want to press charges.

That is the law and they have made a commitment to report any abuse

or suspicion of abuse.

 

Even if both parties are agreed at the beginning, most of the time,

the women who get hurt, admit they were asking the male participant

to “Stop.”

 

Sometimes, of course, it is an accidental situation but for the most

part, the woman have been dosed with a certain “date rape” drug or

over-indulged with alcohol.

In those cases, the police do step in. The man is accused of taking

advantage of the situation.

 

I hope all those enjoying the book series will continue to do so.

I just had to put my 2 cents in.

 

I have to say, “NO THANKS,” when it comes to participating in

games where there are dominant and submissive roles.

 

Not that anyone is asking for me to actively participate

in such sexual escapades. . .

Reflections (In the Mirror and Inner Self Awareness)

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George Orwell, sometime in his life, said these

profound words,

“At age 50, everyone has the face he deserves.”

From that thought, I will use it as a springboard

choosing a few different ages to think about and

while I reflect, it may give you some thoughts, too.

Does your face show more smiles through your

multiple laugh lines?

Do your lips show more signs of “pursed lips” due

to “tsk tsking” a few too many times? I am going to

stereotype the teachers and the librarians, (myself

having been one, my cousin the other) that we may

have given more stern looks say, then the ice cream

truck person. Or did you make it an absent minded

habit to pull your lips into a frown or by biting your

lip, pulled it in one corner or another?

Maybe you smoked and those wrinkles around your

mouth are from the “pleasure” of taking deeply

inhaled breaths of nicotine. I have heard from at

least two good friends, a brother and a meeting full

of people that it is almost easier giving up alcohol

or heroin than nicotine…

Sometimes, while younger, I depended on others to

verify or give me validation that I looked “okay.” I am

still working on this insecurity. Not sure where it came

from. I was much loved by parents, friends and most

of the time, people in general.

During my elementary years, I liked my pointy black

glasses with the sparkles in the corners that raised up.

I imagined myself a little like a cat in my appearance.

I liked my dark brown hair, when long enough to sit

on it. Then, when I tired and ached from the daily

pullings and yankings, I accidentally “groaned” or

let a little ‘yelp!’ out. That brought the end of long

hair until after high school. Mom cut it in the style

of Julie Andrews in “Sound of Music.” Never mind that

she played a character who was a nun. I got used to

that short hair. It was nice also, that during Sally Fields’

reign as “The Flying Nun,” short hair was in style.

While in Junior High, there were a few shows where

the girls had short hair (or the Mom in Partridge Family

and the Mom in the Brady Bunch.) I particularly wished

for the cute adorable short bob of a British actress

and also, Goldie Hawn, of “You bet your sweet bippie!”

fame and fortune.

I think in one’s teenager years, there is a lot of peer

pressure and self awareness. I was suddenly not so crazy

about those glasses, switching to contacts. I was still a

little awkward and a “late bloomer.” Although I joined

many clubs and belonged to the honor clubs, too, I felt

a little on the “fringe” of life. I was loved within my groups

and therefore did fine on a daily basis. There were som e

insecure moments, when the girl ask boy dances came

around, also when the times were more noticeable that

I did not have the “popular” clothes, shoes or hair style.

Time marched on. Happiness should never be fleeting,

but a continuous sense of contentment. The source of

peace came more over me, when my teachers and

parents shared this awesome thought,

“Reinvent yourself when you go off to college. Imagine

yourself popular, accepted and well defined in your goals.

Don’t focus on your imagined shortcomings.” Lots of little

tidbits and nuggets as good as gold to this young woman.

I have been feeling some joy since I have completed the

resposibilities of raising three children, along with helping

and challenging some students, child care/babysitting kids

and neighbors’ children along the way. I feel very good with

those accomplishments.

There are still bubbles of hope for finding a partner, some

say to give up the quest. I am not sure that this is the way

I would like to go. There are some who advise that someone

may enter my life when I am not looking. That is entirely

possible, but it doesn’t hurt to keep my eyes open wide for

the ones who may be a little shy or not likely to approach

me. After all, my goal is to find a partner to share the rest

of the road, holding hands, having fun that we can remind

each other of, when there may be times our memory is

a little ‘faulty.’

I like the movie, “Moonstruck,” where Cher slaps Nicholas

Cage’s face, the line, “Snap out of it!” makes me smile! It

is almost as good as this one, repeated in teen shows and

some comedies, “Get over it!” or better yet, “Get over

yourself!” Letting go of your worries, the things that weigh

you down is so important to do. I also like this little ditty

that applies to us as we get older, “Eat dessert first!”

To me, it is not so much about the content of the words

but the meaning behind them. Enjoy life and don’t wait

to get to the fun part of life!

There is a big wave of authorities and an author besides

who is emphasizing writing down what you would have

told your younger self. The “notes to self” movement is

good, maybe to teach others who have not made their

mistakes yet. But, to tell you the truth, honest to God!

If I had a time capsule and sent myself the warnings and

other pieces of sound advice I am thinking would be so

wise to impart: There is NO way I would have changed

any of my actions!

I had parents who I loved dearly and did not rebel

against since they were that good. I chose the men I

chose, who let’s face it, those are my biggest mistakes,

ALL BY MYSELF! Against advice of my parents and even

one friend of mine, too. I honored and respected my

Mom and Dad, yet went against their best guidance.

Oh well! I have to get over myself and those books or

notes to self would have been ripped up and thrown

out, sorry to say!

The best compliment is that I survived my mistakes

and I hope my face shows some of those happiest

seared into my brain and memory moments. I made

it after all!

I am well aware when I visit my mother that I may get

more forgetful, she likes to ‘hide things’ but ends up

forgetting where she hid them! I like to think it is okay

to forget because she seems so much happier, less

stressed.

The sands of time are slipping down the glassed walls

of the big timer in each of our lives. It is like a sundial

that is pointing with the shadows each day more quickly

passing to the next.

If you are like me, over fifty, there is more sand at the

bottom of the timer and less at the top. Like the gas

in your car, the gauge once it reaches below the half

way point, it seems like the gas runs out more quickly.

It would be nice to put the timer sideways, or retip it

so it will have more time left. But that is not the way

life goes.

So, cherish each grain of sand, let it be a special moment

and notice more, seek more, challenge yourself to get out

of your ‘comfort zone.’

Lastly, as you are possibly reflecting on your growth and

self awareness, have you developed some good strategies

to handle the future? Are you looking at that face with its

lines and saying, they were all worth it, each and every one?

The credit or inspiration for this post today, is from a

column Connie Schulz wrote and was published on:

February 19, 2012. She chose five face photographs and

commented on her own self awareness and ones that

were less complimentary, explaining why. The ages she

chose are interesting, too. She chose ages 12, 21, 37, 45

and 53. Connie’s story was titled, “My Story in Five Faces.”