Category Archives: online dating service

Insult to Injury: Reasons not to date a much younger man

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Just to start out with a bit of information I found out recently,

that Dick Van Dyke has married at age 87, a woman who is a makeup

artist, of 42 years of age. Now, I ask you, what will they have in

common? Will he “catch her up” on the oldies but goodies that he

enjoyed? Will she “fill him in” on all the new technology and new

musical groups that he may have never listened to?

This all is so upsetting! I was match made by my youngest daughter

with a man who is 47 years old. I have been 58 since November. I

think we would have a lot in common. We are not that far apart and

as I was driving to meet him at the Polaris (Shopping area, north

of Columbus, Ohio) Panera Bread, I was given a pep talk by my

youngest daughter.

First of all, she led with the fact this man had been ‘stood up’

at the restaurant that she works at on High Street. (Cameron

Mitchell’s The Pearl Restaurant.) He was sitting at the bar,

looking at his watch or his cell phone and seemed rather tired

and cranky. His impatience had led him to ordering a few drinks

while waiting, ultimately ending up with wings and French fries.

Not the typical healthy fare that the restaurant is known for,

and my daughter, the hostess with the ‘most-est” (the spell

check would not accept the word without a hyphen, it wanted to

make it moistest! Smile!) Anyway, she wandered over, asked

the bartender/server for a hot tea, she was like me all

week, voice-less or nearly so.

She introduced herself and asked him who he was waiting for,

he openly declared himself, “stood up.” He also looked within

a short time at my photograph. This is how my family and friends

approach absolute strangers… He said I looked ‘too young’ to

have her as a daughter. She was asked to ‘guess my age’ and she

guessed the man as ’61.’ I have to grin now, as I type this, since

alas, she ‘forgot’ my age and said I was ’55.’ He said he was only

47 and yet, since I looked ‘younger than 55’ he would take a chance

and he gave her his phone number.

Sunday morning, I did not have to work. I did not try to ‘earn my

Tuesday off,’ and just took my already ‘free’ Wednesday off. I

texted him, “Would you like to buy this girl a coffee?” He texted

back, that he did not have any plans, was relaxing and reading the

Sunday newspaper. I texted him at ten a.m. after my daughter had

let me know his phone number on Sat. into Sun. early hours. I

figured I would wait until I was ready to go brave the cold,

also allowing him to sleep in, if he were that type of guy.

After ten minutes of texting back and forth, trying to decide

where a halfway point would be, we agreed to meet at 11:00 a.m.

I drove across town in Delaware to feed my friends’ kitties,

then hurried back to S.R. 23 southward bound. I was sipping on

my second cup of coffee, having eaten a light breakfast. I was

nervous!

When I entered Panera, he had been told I was wearing a red,

down coat and he said he would have a gray and red sweater

on. He had chosen a booth, arriving a minute earlier. I had

texted him from my friend, Jenny’s house, telling him that

it may be closer to 11:15 but it was only 11:02, so I made

good time.

We shook hands and then went up to the counter, I offered to

go ahead and purchase my coffee. He said he would pay for it.

I glanced at the pastries, my ‘downfall’ and passed. He went

ahead and ordered what appeared to be lunch. He said I could

order more, but I declined.

Once we sat down, I mentioned that my daughter had told me

he was a political consultant. I asked if he had a particular

client? He answered that he had been closely affiliated and

liked Ted Strickland. I mentioned that I had met John Glenn

and his wife a few times, along with Gene Branstool. He told

me both politicians were ‘fine men.’ I told him that Gene had

presented my battered women’s children funding grant to his

subcommittee. That he is like the ‘salt of the earth.’ Turns

out that Bill knew his son. That was cool, I thought, I like

to hear about connections between people. Also, told him why

I knew John Glenn.

Bill was very understated and not a bragging man, but he did

mention that one of the pictures of himself on match.com,

(where the woman who stood him up had ‘met him’) he was

wearing a tuxedo. He says he has to own one to go to the

Inaugurations and Inaugural Balls. I was fascinated by the

subject, but he did not pursue or reveal much more.

When I told him my real age, he backed off, pushed himself

away from the table, leaning back to study me. I began a

short summary of my relationships. I have a very shortened,

humorous summary which usually gets a few smiles. When I

said I had three children and one of my children had

married a woman with two children and then had two more,

which made the total go up to four. He muttered, not very

quietly (if you watch, “The Middle” think of the character

Brick who looks downward, but you can hear his comments0:

“Four too many!”

I looked a little stunned, he looked at me, no blinking and

said, “I don’t have children, am an uncle and do that well.”

I went on to say that both my brothers didn’t have children

but were very involved in my children’s lives and also, now,

with the grandchildren. I did not pause, but I am a little

aghast.

Later, I did get up the nerve to ask, “Do you date anyone

with children?”

Bill said, “Most of the women I date have children in the

range of 11 to 15 years old.”

At that point, again emphasizing our age difference I should

have left…

But, I am kind of stubborn! I said, “This past summer I dated

a 46 year old man for about 6-8 weeks and we didn’t part due

to my being a grandmother. I enjoyed our trip to Cleveland

and we watched the Indians play.”

He did not pursue the subject. He did say that he had tickets

for the Blue Jackets that night.

I mentioned that I used to love watching the BGSU hockey team

play and had taken in a few Blue Jackets’ games.

When he was looking at me again, he said, “I wonder if we have

met.”

I told him I have that “girl next door” look, that I have been

blessed with a few complimentary comparisons to Marlo Thomas

and Sally Fields.

He asked me, “Who is Marlo Thomas?”

I answered, “She was the star in a television show called, “That

Girl.”

He shook his head, ‘no.’

I said, “She is Danny Thomas’ daughter and has been carrying on

in his support for the St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital charity.”

He looked at me askance, like I was talking a foreign language!

I looked at him and my last two feeble identifying questions were:

“Do you know who Phil Donahue is? She has been married to him for

years!”

Head shaking ‘no’ again.

“I don’t suppose you have heard of ‘Free to Be Me’ a musical that

has several different freedom of choices in it. It was made for

children and there is a fairy tale where the princess wants to

choose her husband, instead of one that kisses her, or wins her

hand in marriage from the King.”

I smiled and said, “Oh well! My sister in law jokes around that

my brother was in junior high school when she was married and

having children.”

He did not smile back.

I told him I liked to blog, that filled up a lot of my thinking

processes while at my basic, manual labor job. He told me this,

I hope you get to this terrible comment, my dear fellow blogging

friends,

“Bloggers are twits and idiots.”

I looked at him, telling him that I write on wordpress.com.

He shrugged and did not retract the insults.

I said, “I have a byline that says, “Relationships reveal our Hearts.”

He did go into a few political areas of why he dislikes bloggers.

He added about the ones who ‘disagree’ with his politics, are

particularly ‘big mouthed’ and ‘not very informed before they

write just about anything.’

I did not try to tell him about the humor, essence of humanity,

creative forces that write posts or the friends I have made

through my blogging community.

I stood up and closed with my one of my final thoughts to get

us separating our paths,

“Well, you mentioned at least one good thing will come of having

to meet me at Polaris, you have a gift card from Brooks Brothers,

and you will find that across the street at the Mall.”

He said, “Nice to meet you,” and shook my hand.

As one of the first words I had said while asking him to meet me

for a cup of coffee settled into my mind and I walked towards my

car,

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

The latter part, unfortunately was true of my time and energy.

This and That

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Part of the charm of hearing love stories and success stories

recounted is having positive follow ups! Here are some mid –

June updates that are owed to my faithful readers. This is to

fill you in on ‘what’s happening’ and more uplifting news.

Sometimes I sit and ponder about Walter Mitty’s secret life from

James Thurber’s active imagination. Do you remember the show

based on this called, “My World and Welcome to It?” This mature

comedy had William Windom portray the main character, John

Monroe, who is loosely James Thurber. The writer of short stories

and cartoonist was a frequent contributor to the magazine, The

New Yorker.

In each of the follow ups’ paragraph, I list the posts from which the

personal story was first introduced.

Anna is dating 3 Ron’s trying to equal my month with 3 Dan’s!

These 3 Ron’s have all had more than one date with Anna in and

around central Ohio. One drives all the way from Medina, one lives

in Reynoldsburg, and one lives between Ashley and Delaware. I am,

as always, not kidding! (“Anna’s New Quest”)

Kelly has met Scott’s children which makes this a very happy family!

Scott C. has been moving up the Advance Auto D.C. management

ladder since they recognized his teaching degree and people skills.

This means he’s good at training new employees. (“Love is in the Air!”)

Bill is happily pursuing the younger woman in his life, the Starbucks’

“girl,” I call her. They have the most fun with their being on the same

odd shift schedule. Bill and I had our usual First Friday in June. This

included walking around downtown, eating at Bob Evans and Goodwill

shopping. I cannot miss this chance to joke about that! Do you or don’t

you ever think of the movie,”Good Will Hunting,” when you go into the

Goodwill Thrift Store? (“The Man Who Knew My Daughter First” and

my friend, philosopher Bill stories that followed after.) We ended up at

Delaware Dam with coffees watching the sunset over the water and a

heron taking off, reminiscent of an ancient pterodactyl.

Peggy is accepting the fact that her man, Tim, had decided to look around.

Surprisingly, somehow she did not get upset when we told her we spotted

Tim on an online dating website. He does not even realize she knows he

was. This has released some unknown tension that may have built up.

This couple is getting along wonderfully! (“Love Story with Peggy + Tim”

along with  “Moral Dilemma” follow up.)

“Local Singers”, Team Knyce, have put out another blues/jazz/rap CD

entitled, “Under the Influence.” This trio have been performing at

larger venues with more crowds! Remember if you look them up on

YouTube, there is some bad language and they use the “n—–” word

a lot. I suppose I need to repeat that all three men went to Hayes High

School and are African Americans. Lead singer, Josh Moore, graduated

with my youngest daughter and is a very nice young man. Their language

may not be politically correct but if you listen to the musicality with the

rhythm and blues influence, their CD displays talent!

When I hear news that is all positive and moves the stories forward,

I want to keep you informed. After all, we all enjoy happy endings, don’t

we?

It is encouraging to know that these 3 love stories, that overcame some

hurdles, are on the “right track” now!  Including the update about our local

singers, looks like they all are on the upswing. The Team KNYCE musical

trio are on their way to reaching their dreams and aspirations.

Memorial Day memories

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The drive up took me past my old school that I taught for nine years (little

preschoolers in an integrated setting with 8 children who had been determined

to have developmental delays with 4 children considered “peers” who were

typically developing.) I gazed back in the rear view mirrow at the long glass

enclosed atrium, with a longing that still can bring a tear to my eyes.

I headed north up 42 till I saw Mt. Gilead and then, turned to go up back and

take 61 to Lake Erie. I made good time and was pleased to spend almost 5 hours

with Mom and both brothers. We watched a gruesome movie, since my mother

usually vetoes comedies and romances. (“Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Slayer.”

Yup! You read that right!)

The next day, I usually go ‘fetch’ Mom’s breakfast from the buffet in her senior

living apartments’ dining room. I have some friends to say hi to, Bonnie who

went to Ohio Wesleyan University and likes to hear how Delaware, Ohio is. Her

husband, Ralph, who is a rare male among the garden of female flowers who

live in the Westlake Village. I also said “hi” to Pearl, Elinore, and Jeannie (who

likes to be called “Jeannie Beannie” and her daughter who was visiting, “Judy

Bootie”). I waved at Joe who is a very nice quiet man who once shared he was

an engineer in his working days, we talked before about my father and his common

interests. I used to say to him, “My Dad would have loved to have met you.” But

we mostly wave across the dining room.

I chose to bring a tray with my oatmeal with brown sugar, butter, raisins and cream

on it, two coffees, two bananas, tomato juice and two cream rolls. Mom is a big sweet

tooth lover so she will have a banana, sweet roll, and coffee. I will hope the fiber in the

oatmeal with all its ‘fixings’ will take away the calories of the cream roll. I will eat the

banana about an hour later. I just love an almost green banana! Mom loves hers closer

to brown.

We went to Bay Village to the bank on Saturday, tooled around the side streets, and did

venture over to Huntington Playhouse and the woodsy hills leading to the Huntington

Beach. I pulled over to Vento’s Trattoria and got out, Mom had chosen to ask me to run

in and get us some strong espresso coffee, mine with a shot of vanilla flavoring plus two

cupcakes. We did not choose to get a fancier dessert that would require a fork since we

were planning to just sit in the car, watch the traffic go by, see the travellers mixed in

with the locals at the beach. The heron at the end of one of the piers got my Mom’s

attention, as did the shelter that has a lighthouse look to it.  We chose to be lazy and

hoped the caffeine would kick in for our last stop, Giant Eagle at the Crocker Park Town

Center.

Shopping with Mom is the usual, I may have mentioned that the list is very limited. Mom

can order meals off a menu in her dining room, she can ask for extra Coke or milk to take

back for her snack along with her Otis Spunkmeier cookies she likes to eat at bedtime. She

gets a pack of two cookies and puts one away for guests every day. While watching the movie,

Rich had two oatmeal raisin cookies and I had two macademia nut with white chocolate

cookies. We also had our little juice size cups of Sangria. Rich and Randy had their beer, this

time Fatheads’ summer brews. Randy does a lot of their artwork in the North Olmsted Fatheads

along with the one in Pennsylvania. He paints their logos on the brick walls and yet, does not

make it look like a mess. I would not be able to make a flat logo on such a rough wall! But that

is his skill.

The second evening, we four went to Friendly’s to have senior discount menu meals, where 3 of

the 4 chose to have a Happy Endings sundae also. Mom and I had their delicious clams with

vegetables and fries. She had cole slaw and traded once she saw my broccoli looked “easy to

chew” and so I had cole slaw for my veggie. Yes, loaded with mayo and vinegar! Yummy combo!

I was “righteous” by trying to order the broccoli and eat it, but glad to be eating what I really

wanted, thanks to Mom’s trade. We talked about art and movies, we talked about the Indians

and also the fishing. I had heard that there was cyanide dumped in Rocky River. One of my

brothers told me that happened a year ago! I cannot believe it, but we watched another violent

movie, very good but not as great as the Swedish version, “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.”

My brother had gotten it at the Westlake Library (Porter Library) and both he and I had read

the book, Mom and Randy had not. We all felt it was well acted and could have been confusing

but we all stayed awake to find out the ending. Both Friday and Saturday nights we were up

past midnight and my Mom insisted on taking Nicki, her little dog out afterwards.

A beautiful full moon was shining in the sky. My Mom hummed a few bars of “Shine on Harvest

Moon up in the sky.” (Although the May moon is not a harvest moon, it rose up  orange on the

horizon and was an awesome sight!)

On the third day, I travelled alone out to the cottage in Vermilion. I chose to stop at Jean J.’s

house and say “hello” and was so pleased to get a short little romantic tale to add to this

otherwise “Just the facts, mam” post.

Jean was one of my mother’s favorite neighbors, over most of the time that Mom and Dad lived

there. Jean is about my age, had met her last husband in Burger King by his reaching his hand

out to shake it, she had always told me, “I felt electricity vibrate across our fingers!” It broke

my heart (and Mom’s, too) that her Dennis had died helping with trimming trees, got a heart

attack on a ladder and fell. He died instantly about three years ago.

I like to think that I helped Jean to decide to get online to try a dating site. She introduced me

to a man she had met online who still lives in Texas! He is a cattle ranch owner and has been

visiting once a month since she started to talk to him in October. He was average in appearance

but Roger has a very nice voice, a southern drawl that seems more like Georgia, but I did not

inquire if he had always been a native Texan. I just can tell you this, Jeannie’s eyes sparkled

and once inside her home across the street from Mom’s I saw the wedding portrait and little

photos of Dennis were gone. That is a good sign, yes, Jean had found a hopeful new beginning!

I weeded a little, I walked the beach but it had been stormy out in the Lake Erie, so there were

very few nice rocks, only a few pieces of beach glass and a piece of driftwood I placed in the

front rock garden.

I gazed out at the lake and thought about my Dad on Sunday. On Memorial Day, my son had

a big trampoline, guests that he and his wife know along with my oldest daughter and her 2

boys. I enjoyed hot dog, hamburger, pasta salad, mac and cheese and a cherry coke. My baking

daughter had brought yummy cherry cupcakes with buttercream frosting (no offense, better

than the ones at Vento’s but made with love, helps improve the taste!)

Hope you had a safe and happy Memorial Day and thanks for visiting with me on my trip to

Lake Erie!

Moral Dilemma

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I am worried that sometimes I write about a couple and what if

something happens to tip their apple cart? Should I tell you if that

happens? I have a moral dilemma and I am hoping to hear from you

on the subject! I went to the library with my good friend, Anna, and I

taught her how to get on yahoo and then “ourtime.com” While on the

website, ourtime.com, we saw another good friend’s (our coworker’s)

boyfriend on that dating service! The couple had a whole post about

them and I was so sure they were almost happily ever after.

It featured photographs. There he was at work, his details all there to see

and his birthday, too. He said, “I want something casual and not be in

a committed relationship.”

I just wonder how many women are contacting him!

I am wondering do we bring our mutual girlfriend to the library and

show her the website? I mean he had to pay to become a member, he

is not just playing around, “checking it out” and getting a free Memorial

Day weekend trial.

Our good friend’s long time boyfriend is “cheating!!”

We know this because the dating service allows you to see how long a person

has been on it.

On the positive and definitely happier side of  life, Anna has a date tonight!

While I am driving up to see my Mom, she is meeting a man at Panera. And

if they “hit it off” they agreed to go to a movie!

Wow, Anna,

“You Go, Girl!”

Anna’s New Quest Begins!