Category Archives: rituals

Light Hearted Easter Egg Moments

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If you don’t celebrate Easter but enjoy learning about other families’

customs this post may still be a good one to read. If you follow a

different religion or you don’t practice any at all, you still could add

something new to this post. Help make it multicultural and allow

us to “cross borders” into friendship together.  Although Easter eggs

were once considered part of pagan Spring festivals, they have

become Christian symbols of new life in recent times.

A cracked open eggshell could represent

and symbolize Jesus’ empty

tomb on Easter morning.

Coloring eggs can be elaborate projects, I have always enjoyed looking

at Ukrainian eggs with their pen and ink display of designs.  Our family

usually just used crayons to make designs on our hard boiled eggs

for Easter. Then, with the pungent smell of vinegar and the Paas egg

coloring dyes, we would put our eggs on wire ‘hoops’ or loops, where

they were  able to hold them while we dipped them in.

Even when I attended a Christian church with my last husband,

where they frowned upon ‘rituals,’ I didn’t give up hiding Easter

eggs, bunnies and baskets.

This was always part of my childhood and my own family’s way

of celebrating Easter.

My argument was:

Shouldn’t we celebrate and rejoice in Christ’s resurrection?

When I got a Christmas card from a relative in December, 2014,

which mentioned the death and resurrection, it took me aback.

I felt this was losing the “True Meaning” of Christ’s birth.

I like to focus on the image of Christ in his manger, his bed

made of harsh wood, with straw and blankets protecting him

from the weather.

Why concentrate on the torture and anguish of the Son of God,

who was made from God and man combined, at Christmas?

When Easter comes, even if I weren’t a Christian,

I would want to celebrate the story of someone,

who came back from the dead,

who rose to sit by his father’s side

and who told this simple message:

“Love thy neighbor as thyself.”

When it comes right down to it,

all religions, faiths, cultures and

people of the world could agree.

If we treated everyone the way

we wished to be treated,

we would not have any wars.

Nor would we have poverty,

unclothed and hungry masses.

I may use plastic eggs to hide,

I may not always follow the rules,

I may not attend church regularly,

but Easter represents a lot to me.

Caroline Rhea says this funny quote:

“I lied on my Weight Watchers list.

I put down that I ate only three eggs. . .

but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.”

Here is an Easter fact to enjoy:

“Each year, the PAAS Dye, Co. sells more than 10 million egg-coloring kits,

which consumers use to decorate more  than 180 million eggs!”

(Source, wikipedia.)

~**~”I would rather have one rose

and a kind word from a friend

while I’m here, than a

whole truck load when I’m gone.~**~

I truly believe in this.

How many flowers end up at funeral homes and

how many flowers did the person enjoy

while they were alive?

Happiness keeps you Sweet,

Trials keep you Strong,

Sorrows keep you Human,

Failures keep you Humble,

Success keeps you glowing,

But. . .

Friends. . .

Keep you going!”

**~ Author Unknown~**

May you have a blessed Easter.

If you should not happen to follow

this belief, may you have a special

celebration with or without any

faith involved.  Spending time with

loved ones is always  a blessing.

Please share something you enjoy

doing, cooking, decorating or

something you have been doing

in your garden, with Easter or

Spring as your guide.

Upcoming Movie Based on Book, “Fifty Shades of Grey”

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As my good friend, Bill and I were walking out of the movie we saw

together on First Friday in January, he turned to ask me what was the

big deal about the new movie, “Fifty Shades of Grey?” I told him that

my youngest daughter and her friends got very excited about the book,

passing it around like it was a ‘chocolate bar’ or something that could

not be put down when it first came out. I told him I had written a post

back in 2013. They finally found a cast in late 2013 or early 2014, the

movie is going to be released so couples can go see it together for

Valentine’s Day, 2015.

 

I will re-blog the post I wrote about the book since I have read the first

one. It may or may not persuade you to go see the movie. I have already,

not too long ago, written a post which stood up and said, “I didn’t like

the movie, ‘Gone Girl.'” I hate to put my neck out once again about a

film based on a book. I just will hope you ‘hear me out,’ on the subject!

 

There is a big hoopla going on about the book, “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

I am sure  you have heard there are shocking love or sexual scenes in it.

You can imagine, if you have not read the book, it has lots of  juicy and

intimate details. I am glad that the female author (a single mother with a

family to support) who wrote it will be able to help her family survive for

quite awhile on the (3) books’ proceeds.

 

Now, with a movie on its way to be released, the topic needed to be

opened, just like a can of worms. You know I don’t hide from fear or

controversy.

 

When I heard that it was a trilogy, I was flabbergasted. I guess I cannot

imagine it being that great of a subject matter. A boss who uses control

of the young woman underneath him, both at work and in the bedroom,

just doesn’t sound like my ‘cup of tea.’

 

What makes me write about this is the fact that it is intermingling two

diverse subjects: sexual pleasure (lovemaking) and control. There is

a breathy element of naughty mixed with the possibility of danger in

the books. I am not one who likes to give up my own right to express

myself and handing over power to an authority figure, as in the case

of Mr. Grey, I cannot imagine Human Resources being too happy with

this situation either. I only got through one of the books; just barely.

 

I have a few thoughts about the first book. Sorry, I did not wish to read

the other ones, but I can base this on the first one. . .

 

I have seen a few good movies which cover the same subject matter and

topic. Both Nicholas Cage and Clint Eastwood played characters who

explored the “under belly of the city.” They investigated the sleazy world

of pornography, sex trade of prostitutes and the subject of asphyxiation

to create a “high.”

 

All of this is by no means “NEW.” I do remember Cage’s film was

called, “8 mm.”

Clint Eastwood was in two movies on the subject, “Play Misty for Me”

and the more risqué one, “Tightrope.”

 

The movie, “8 mm.” refers to the film size not the male organ’s size.

(Trying to get you to laugh!)

 

There is a sad and also violent more current movie entitled, “Blue

Valentine.” In it the couple is played by Michelle Williams and Ryan

Gosling. I also have seen, “In the Cut” with Mark Ruffalo. There are

mainstream movies that have the enticement of the naughty and kinky

parts of relationships.

When salacious details are told in the context of a mystery, intrigue or

relationship analysis, it can be worth watching.

 

Maybe that is what people are figuring why “Fifty Shades of Grey” is

worth reading. How the romance and relationship are enhanced by

interesting use of role playing captive and captor.

 

Props to play games in the bedroom such as scarves or neckties can

be fun, as well as handcuffs. The quality of the book is more of the

issue, along with the way some of the readers have become rabid,

almost in their fascination and conversations.

 

Every summer I have chosen what I consider ‘beach reads,’ books

that have romance or some playfulness in the plot. For mysteries,

Janet Evanovich, (I have read up to her #19th book, which includes

the two men in the main character of the book’s life.) I also read Nora

Roberts and other romance novelists, who have manly or masculine

‘heroes’ and feminine, but independent, heroines. I like the use of

both characters having the quality of strength, along with a sensitive

nature or side for both sexes coming into play.

 

I am abhorrent of the idea of mixing violence, or even roughness,

with sex.

You may call me a little old fashioned but no one I know would call

me a “prude” or “prurient” in nature.

 

I have a lot of enjoyable and fun memories of the days of trying all

kinds of positions, sex toys, and lubricants. I still have many styles of

lingerie; some of which added a lot of excitement on three honeymoons.

 

Working as a child advocate at a battered women’s shelter put a major

damper on some of my thinking about whips, chains and being tied

up.  The act of choking someone to get them to be on the edge of an

orgasm is not something you would consider seriously once you met

and witnessed a few women who had the ligature marks from the hands

that had surrounded their necks.

 

The bruising on “CSI” television shows or “Law and Order, Special

Victim’s Unit,” pales in comparison to the actual and real sight of this.

I have  met and heard the most horrendous stories of women who had

started the evening while making love with their significant other, only

to have it “go way wrong.”

 

This would include the woman whose husband wanted her to wear her

cowboy boots and a cowgirl vest while he wore his steel toed boots.

Warning! Below reading this, consider if it will upset you too much.

 

If you don’t want to hear this, stop and skip this part. It is violent.

The cowboy used his steel toed boot where it did not belong. It was

not her idea of excitement and the surgery needed to repair this,

along with her lifelong residual pain, is horrendous.

 

The emergency room staff called me, since I was “on call” to pick her

up. Usually I was packing my children in a car to pick up someone

with or without their child/children at the police station. This is

because a police car would reveal the confidential location of the

shelter if it were to be the transporter.

 

Another instance, was a man who thought while his wife was

suspended by a rope low enough to enter her, that would make her

have a great time and it would help get his rocks off, too. It ended

up another emergency room disaster. The nurse was required to

call the police, who then pressed charges on the man since it

turned out, the wife had not been consensual but actually had

been coerced into this bizarre sexual situation.

 

The hospital does not take kindly to these acts and will press charges

if they are involved, even if the woman doesn’t want to press charges.

That is the law and they have made a commitment to report any abuse

or suspicion of abuse.

 

Even if both parties are agreed at the beginning, most of the time,

the women who get hurt, admit they were asking the male participant

to “Stop.”

 

Sometimes, of course, it is an accidental situation but for the most

part, the woman have been dosed with a certain “date rape” drug or

over-indulged with alcohol.

In those cases, the police do step in. The man is accused of taking

advantage of the situation.

 

I hope all those enjoying the book series will continue to do so.

I just had to put my 2 cents in.

 

I have to say, “NO THANKS,” when it comes to participating in

games where there are dominant and submissive roles.

 

Not that anyone is asking for me to actively participate

in such sexual escapades. . .

Native American View on “Two-Spirits”

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An article by Cecelia LaPointe, who refers to “Two-Spirit”

which addresses and rekindles awareness of Native Gender

identity, was in the Ohio “Outlook” magazine. This was my

resource which I used finding great Christmas music lists

and an article about Bette Midler in December.

 

In November, Cecelia came to OSU campus to host a poetry

workshop and speak on racial identity and the “Two-Spirit”

existence. Ms. LaPointe has also visited Columbus during

both Native American Heritage Month and Trans-gender

Awareness Week. (Two opportunities I missed last year to

feature in my monthly calendar.)

 

Indigenous communities of Native Americans use the “Two-

Spirit” label to denote gender variations within their people.

In the world, they consider Europe and American cultures

“binary” genders. “Two-Spirits” become a third or even fourth

gender among native societies.

 

“Two-Spirits” are denoted or designated from birth, through

a ritual. This belief of a person embodying masculine and

feminine spirits, two ‘identities inhabiting a single body’ is

not considered ‘weird,’ ‘strange’ or ‘inappropriate.’ Instead

the Native Americans ’embrace’ the different way of life.

 

Two things mentioned in this essay about Cecelia and her

tribe’s belief in what sets these particular people known as

“Two-Spirits” apart:

1.) They dress and change their choice of who they are from

day to day. They are not all ‘one way’ in their feminine or

masculine clothing.

2.) They may choose to carry out tasks or labor, not dependent

on their outward appearance. Gender roles are not delineated

or dictated in the “Two-Spirit” existence.

For example: A person could go out on a hunt or go to war, but

at other times may dress in women’s clothing and carry out

domestic chores. Women could become  ‘warriors’ or chiefs

over their native tribes.

 

Interestingly, according to Ms. LaPointe,  “Two-Spirits” were

not only tolerated, but they were ‘revered.’  For instance, they

were well respected and considered, ‘powerful.’ They often were

given special roles such as healers, mediators and counselors.

 

There are instances where bigotry of “Two-Spirits” has been

carried out. When historians bring up the arguments of their

contributions and respected positions it is to counterbalance

those who say Native Americans are “transphobic.”

 

Sometimes, Natives would bring up “tradition” as a reason to

exclude people who chose to carry out their ‘birthright’ as

“Two-Spirit” people.  They would be acting close-minded to

the long history of the revered members of their tribes.

Ancestors of Native Americans were not against “Two-Spirit”

people, elders were often of this delineation.

 

Ms. LaPointe brings up Spanish missionaries as those who

planted the ‘bad seeds’ which germinated prejudice against

“Two-Spirited” people. “They (Two-Spirit) were essentially

the first victim in the campaign of colonial violence against

the native population of the Americas.”

 

Ms. LaPointe considers herself of  ‘mixed descent’ and feels

she is part of “both cultures, both worlds.” She grew up in a

Detroit suburb and lives in the northern town of Manistee.

She travels to her reservation in the U.P. (Upper Peninsula)

regularly. She is a descendant of the Anishinaabekwe Tribe,

native of the Great Lakes region.

 

Cecelia LaPointe says her reservation is very small yet it is her

“home.” This is where she goes to be with family members. Some

of her own family members hold leadership positions within her

tribe. It is part of the Keweenaw Bay Indian Community. Being

located far from the city means it is a positive place for her to

retreat. It is also good since. . .

‘There is less influence from the dominant culture there.’

 

Ms. LaPointe reaches out to others, through her writing

and public speaking. By going to college campuses, she

can share her poetry and also, her viewpoint where the

students may be encouraged to be ‘themselves.’ She hopes

to reverse the history of discrimination against both the

Native Americans and also, those who are filled with what

they call, “Two-Spirit.”

 

There was a wonderful piece of artwork that accompanied

this article in “Outlook,” November issue. It has the artist,

George Catlin’s (1796-1872) painting called, “Dance to the

Berdache.” This was drawn while the Sac and Fox people

of the Great Plains were engaging in a ceremonial dance to

celebrate the “Two-Spirit” person.

 

Here is a part of a poem that talks of her emotions,

“Poem: Ajijaak Dodem Anokil

It is so precious,

Those tears on my hands,

Covering my face,

This grieving is beautiful,

You see we had felt those knives turned inward

On ourselves,

On our family. . .”

 

You may wish to check out Cecelia Rose LaPointe’s poetry

or speaking schedule and other special events at:

http://www.anishinaabekwe.com

 

My youngest daughter and I recently saw, “The Imitation Game,”

which depicts an underlying sadness within the main character.

It is a true story about Alan Turing, a genius. He was the inventor

of a de-coding machine that ‘beat’ Germany’s war coding machine,

“The Enigma.” This British machine helped the Allies win World

War II against the Germans.

 

Apparently, Alan Turing was a man who faced accusations and

there were parts of the film which eluded to his sexual preferences.

This movie brought up the problems that people historically have

faced (and are still overcoming).  The end of the movie has details

about large numbers, unfortunately, of people who were thrown in

British prisons, due to their homosexuality.

 

The actor is one I enjoy as “Sherlock” on PBS and also, has been

in the “Dr. Who” British television series. His name is Benedict

Cumberbatch. You can see him in more than one 2013 Academy

Award nominated movie, since he played in “12 Years a Slave”

and “August: Osage County.”

 

The woman who befriends him and who is very talented in

decoding and helping with the Turing Machine, is played by the

wonderful actress, Keira Knightley. My favorite role she has

played was in, “Pride and Prejudice,” but there are many more

films to see her in.

 

After the movie, when I talked with my youngest daughter who had

cried (as I did, too) during some of the tender and intense parts of the

film, we both agreed upon deep emotions we have in common.

We also share values my parents and siblings embrace.

It is hard to understand why anyone would be so offended by

someone’s personal choices.

 

Sadly, the United States has had many different areas where

numbers of people who chose to be ‘different’ from what some

may perceive as ‘normal’ or ‘mainstream.’ Obviously, numerous

people are still either bullied or face judges in court rooms.

 

Persecutions in the United States have been appalling and we

talked about our abhorrence of this.

 

No country is totally ‘innocent’ of negative practices of prejudice

and persecution. “Racial profiling” has been a problem within our

extended family.  (My oldest daughter’s father of little Micah is

bi-racial. Mainly, since 9/11/2001, he has had taunts and threats

due to his outward appearance. In his younger years, he says at

least in Delaware, Ohio, he found people wanting to be his friend

throughout his schooling and working years.)

 

The numbers of those imprisoned, at the end of the movie, were

such that we just shook our head and looked at each other through

teary eyes, in disbelief. Felicia asked me, “How can anyone feel

they have the right to judge someone else?”

 

This article about Native Americans and “Two Spirit” individuals

was saved in my WordPress drafts.  It helped me to feel that there

is a positive force to include gays and lesbians within the Native

tribes. Their ‘explanation’ or interesting philosophy towards people

who choose to follow two different genders created new thoughts

in my mind. Mother Nature has some unique qualities which I

embrace, sometimes intuitively.

 

Of course, I have mentioned before. . . I have hope for our future

in the possibility that all peoples can accept and embrace our

differences.

 

Written in Memoriam of Alan Turing, scientist, original computer

inventor and mathematician who committed suicide at age 41, a

few weeks before his 42nd birthday in  June, 1954.

Queen Elizabeth II gave Alan Turing a post-humous “pardon” in

2013 for his criminal charges and offenses.

 

Sweaters and Thanksgiving Thoughts

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When I opened my drawer full of sweaters to search for the ones with

Autumn colors, I ended up having to empty the whole drawer onto my

bed. I could not seem to find the one with its patchwork appearance.

Although, as a preschool teacher I had several turkey pins, along with

some orange, brown and tan sweaters, there was always this special one

I wore and called it my Thanksgiving sweater.

 

While I looked at my wide collection of fall and cold weather offerings,

I was smiling since some of them were getting pretty ‘raggedy,’ while

others were less in style. I started thinking about sweaters and their

characteristics.

This

is

when

I had

an epiphany:

Sweaters are like our family members.

While you are thinking about the upcoming celebratory feast, you may

have some positive thoughts and you  may have some misgivings,  too.

I hope you will see some of the anthropomorphic references in this poem,

of sorts and I also hope it amuses you.

Wishing you a wonderful gathering of family and friends. I hope it is an

extra special time, with pleasant memories of past holidays spoken of

and cherished, too. Those who have gone on and had their unique places

in your family festivities, hope you will have some of the elderly guests

share some more of their own personal memories of the loved ones.

I also admire the idea of going around the table and all sharing their

reasons for being thankful. This family tradition is often part of our own

ritual. I have been lately asking the little ones, “What was your favorite

part of this year, so far?” I like to try and remember them, to put in their

personal albums, which include their photographs and memorabilia we

have collected along our ways. (Tickets for movies, zoo or museums, as

well as menus and maps. I have a few of their drawings included, too.)

 

“Sweaters and Family”

November 24, 2014

 

Sweaters come in all colors,

They come in all sizes, too.

Sweaters can be quite worn

and scruffy looking,

While some may be in

brand new condition.

 

There are the loud ones,

and there are low key

kinds of sweaters.

 

Each has their place,

both

old

and

new.

 

There are those scratchy ones,

who seem to always irritate you.

There are those sweet, dear ones,

who can ‘do no wrong.’

They never grow old

nor out of style.

 

Some are so big and stretched

while others are such pint-sized.

There are the lumpy ones which have

lots of pills,

there are the smooth, soft ones, too.

 

There are the old, familiar ones

and the surprising ones who

unexpectedly turn up.

Those especially nice ones

appear out of nowhere

to discover and include

around the holidays.

 

When rummaging around in your

sweater drawers or storage tubs,

keep in mind how much you love

them all. . .

 

You certainly would not wish to

ignore them

or discard.

Even those

who are

unraveling

a bit.

They are an integral

part of colder

seasons

and

you

may

as well save them

for next year, too.

 

by Robin O. Cochran

 

Do you have a favorite story about sweaters?

If you wish, I would enjoy reading about some of your family

traditions. . .

 

 

A Tale of November Events

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Last week, the Earl of Sandwich had his special day,

We enjoy his creation of a portable edible delight.

While knowing by asking his servant to make this,

Earl was able to continue playing his game of cards.

(John Montagu, Earl of Sandwich, November 3rd)

 

Next, came the Honor Roll Call of all who have served,

The sound of a Trumpet recognizing their heroism.

Those who stayed behind needing some recognition,

Letters sent overseas showed their loving devotion.

(Veteran’s Day, November 11th)

 

Graceful origami birds are world travelers on their way,

Celebrating an intricate Japanese paper-folding craft.

The peaceful days will bring brightly colored paper,

Creating delicate treasures to hang or put on shelves.

(World Origami Days, October 24 – November 11th)

 

It began with Little Violet holding the football,

For Trusting Charlie Brown to kick.

She became scared and pulled it up and away.

From then on, Fearless Lucy was the “mean girl,”

Who every year prevented Charlie Brown’s kick.

Poor Charlie Brown, disappointed again,

Ever optimistic for the coming year.

 

November 11, 1951 (Violet) only once.

November 16, 1956 (Lucy) annually ever since.

Celebrating Memories of

Charles M. Schulz’s

“Peanuts” Gang’s

Annual Football  Ritual

 

Kindness spreads far and wide across the globe,

Adding importance to this joyful day of giving.

Find someone who is quiet or seems lonely,

Smile at neighbors and share special times.

(World Kindness Day, November 13th)

 

Purse your lips they may be sour, as in Dill,

Lick your lips they are sweet, as in Bread and Butter.

Chew and crunch down on those crisp vegetables,

Enjoy this yummy, centuries’ old way to preserve food.

(National Pickle Day, November 14th)

 

Written by Robin O. Cochran

~* 11/12/14 *~

 

 

 

Reversing Roles

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Many times during one’s life, you may find someone older helping you and teaching

you. Especially as a young child, most of us were lucky to have parents and role models.

Sometimes, in unfortunate situations, there are children who have to become adults

far too soon. They become the ‘caretakers’ of siblings, they may even take care of their

mother, as my Dad did at age 11. The mentors in his life, teachers and a minister, are

who really ‘saved him.’

Here are some thoughts about a day with my Mom:

As my Mom slides more easily backwards in time, more comfortable in her childhood

outlook and way of looking at things, I see this in a brighter, happier light these days.

Reverting to a time where things always seem new and one can exclaim, “I have never

seen the sky so brilliant in a sunset!” or “The leaves are so lushly colored, freshly painted!”

It makes me smile more. I appreciate this way of thinking and it helps me embrace her,

hold her hand and guide her across dangerous paths where cars may not judge her slow,

plodding movements.

She loves her dog, it is like children want to give their dogs ‘treats’ every time they are

‘good.’ I have to remind her that Nicki only should eat twice a day, but don’t worry too

much as she is 12 years old. She can refuse if her belly is too full, she also can run around

and wear off the calories… Mom is very good at taking her on two long walks a day. We

go to the edge of a woods, where she uses her cane to remove prickly sticks and makes a

path less treacherous for her ‘little girl.’

Life, to my Mom, is full of excitement and she arises late with sleepy eyes, needing a cup

of black coffee, a tablespoon of peanut butter and I have brought her pancakes (one

morning), oatmeal a couple of mornings, but mainly she rubs her hands together in

anticipation to see if there is a sweet roll or Danish from the dining room. Her ‘expectant’

air about her is catching.

There have been some ‘stories’ told about my Mom, like a child who is part imp and part

angel. She has used a sharp tone when someone mentions Nicki needing to be brushed.

She has been insulted when she wore her pajama pants in the dining room. ‘After all,

many wear their sweat pants.’  She doesn’t like it when she forgets what day it is, nor

does she appreciate lectures about times for things. The rascal is quite independent and

I have less fear of her being ‘hurt’ each time I hear her strong-willed letters she has sent

off to the Director of the building. She has written about the sumac bushes around  the

lake, telling the staff that they should be trimmed, they hinder the residents view while

sitting on the patio. She feels her ‘rent’ should cover gardening and pruning. She wrote

another letter abut the rose bushes, their mites or bugs. She notes, “They need dusting!”

People who are not able to hear well should be paired with others who cannot. She is not

happy when she needs to repeat herself, just as children who must explain themselves

give up and throw their arms up. She misses the bus, when she feels they should ‘Wait on

her.’  Patience is expected by her of others, even when hers is limited at times.

My Dad had admired her ‘spunk’ and her strength of character. He would find it here, still

in large quantities of self-assurance. She still delights in mischief and would still capture

his heart, were he still on Earth….

 

While the rain dripped down upon the branches outside her balcony, she stopped several

times yesterday to exclaim over their appearance, using these words:

glistening,

glowing,

shining,

trembling

branches.

When the rosy-colored purplish hued sky was about to lay the sun to rest,

she had a radiant face aglow watching it from her balcony.

She turned to me, more than three times yesterday to say,

“I have never seen the Fall leaves so special!”

“This view is the Best one I have ever had!”

I could picture her, as a girl, fully appreciating nature’s wonderful changing, colorful

palette. I also thought of her bravery while children taunted her and for some reason

knew to call her, “Zema Puss.” Yes, she had had arthritis and eczema but had always

been beautiful inside and out. She had undaunted courage given her by her parents.

 

Giving the teen-aged servers candy in the dining room, this is one of her ways of

showing she includes the next generation. She may forget where her eyeglasses,

keys, purse, checkbook, medical card and other ‘meaningless’ items are, but she

takes the time to every season or holiday to spend money to make up bags of

candy for the ‘kids.’ She also says a few French words to the one who is studying

French, a much longer passage of Spanish to the one who is in her third year.

She asks Zach, who has this movie star quality, about his theater productions

and his college courses in drama and English. I have no clue why she is able

to retain this information and use the whole concept I used while raising three

teenagers: “They must have ‘selective memory!'”

As she leaves the dining room, she grabs packages of sugar, Sweet n Low packs,

and a handful of mints at the Hostess Station. She may be one of the best ‘pack rats’

around. She even gives that sly glance sideways, to see if anyone notices how big a

wad of those peppermints she has stuck in her pockets.

 

Mom is a quieter, less sure woman at night, as she turns on the light in the closet,

leaving the door askew, pushing the nightlights on in the bathroom (one), kitchen

(two), living room, (three and four), and the hallway (five). She looks down at her

little shadow, Nicki, and says,

“She gets scared of the dark. Hope it is okay to have so many of these on, Robin.

Will you be able to find your way to the bathroom?”

When I look down at Nicki, I almost perceive a gentle shrug of the shoulders, as

if her dog is saying,

“Let her have this habit. No big deal. Give this to her.”

Later, when I need to use same nightlights to guide me to the bathroom, I tiptoe

in to gaze upon her sleeping, serene countenance. A moment of remembrance of

doing this ritual with my own children, now my grandies when they sleepover. I

imagine her doing this for each of her three children, as we slept peacefully.

I kiss her forehead and whisper, “Sweet dreams, Mama.”

 

Holding my hand, we go to the doctors. I hope this one will go smoother than the

one this summer, when frustrated with her purse’s zippers, she threw her photo

ID and her medical card at the poor, slightly impatient receptionist, who repeated

the request instead of just waiting as Mom searched…

As we leave the doctor’s office, after paying her co-pay, I tell her that she doesn’t

have to go to another doctor until next July. She nods, repentant,  turning to tell

the receptionist, “Have a wonderful day and Happy Thanksgiving!”

 

Walking together, we lean in.

I am fully blessed,

counting the time (and steps)

I have left with my mother.