Category Archives: “rude”

The Opposite of Romance


There were Saturday afternoon movies on television where

the brothers got to take a turn choosing the movie. Which

meant; it must be winter! Then, while they were outside

gallivanting in the Spring or Fall, I sometimes wanted to

get ‘lost’ in a movie and dream’ a little.

One of my favorite ‘escape’ movies was called, “Tammy and

the Bachelor,” starring Debbie Reynolds. She played a 17

year old girl, living barefoot along a Mississippi swamp

with her Grandpa, played by Walter Brennan. Along comes a

city ‘folk’ handsome man named, Leslie Nielson. You can

just guess what transpires!

There are four ‘Tammy’ movies, if you wish to indulge in

plots that resemble cotton candy spun into tales of love

and romance. I adored these, along with the old black and

white “Thin Man” movies. These were about a wealthy

married couple but enjoyed playing detectives. Myrna Loy

plays a rather ‘spunky’ wife, with William Powell as her

debonair husband. This comedy-romance movie spun off

into quite a collection of films.

Today’s post could not be written on Tuesday or Wednesday,

since I really had a debate with myself. I was unsure

what you would consider about my thoughts about the recent

debacle on a silly show called, “The Bachelor.”

I mean this week is “Brain Awareness Week” and what am I

doing writing about a show that most probably consider

‘mindless drivel?’ Pretty ironic!

I would be remiss if I didn’t say that I had watched the

Bachelor show, observing dating in its most unnatural

habitat. How could I have a witless dating after fifty

blog and not have some comments to ‘weigh in with?’

Although the ancient, and almost extinct, patterns

depicted in this season’s show were amusing, they also

had some alarming warnings.

The Bachelor, Juan Pablo, has become fairly infamous

in the past two days. Besides there were many people

who had purposely watched the season. I can only

imagine women cringing behind their pillows, gritting

their teeth every time he said such surface-oriented


On the show, I noticed there were few women who even

noticed his very shallow dialogue and subject matters

in their conversations. Almost all seemed to get big

grins on their faces, while we watched him ingratiate

himself with such comments as,

“You are so sexy!’

“You are the most beautiful woman.”

“You look pretty today.”

or, using his Spanish, “Ay, ay, ay!” (Meaning ‘Oh, my!’)

It happened to be the Final Rose Ceremony and the

episode that usually ends with a marriage proposal.

Lots of current hype about the show, the shocked

silence in the studio audience. The stunned host,

even, shaking his head.

Either you caught the different wild stories on

the entertainment news or you may have already

seen a cover story about Juan Pablo. He pocketed

the diamond ring that he had us all focus in on

while he chose this with the Lane Jewelry man

who makes his periodic appearance, when the final

show is approaching.

When Juan is about to tell Claire, one of the two

final women left on the show, that she is not his

heart’s desire, she figures it out. She had already

insinuated that he had made a major rude ‘under the

radar,’ (possibly crude) statement to her on their

‘island date.’ As they were disembarking from the

plane, while no microphones would pick up his not

so nice comment, which threw Claire through a loop.

She made a big deal about that she had expected a

different kind of ‘sweet nothing’ whispered in her

ear. We can just imagine.. He was, according to Claire,


On their final night together, Juan had persuaded

Claire to soften her heart. He was giving promises and

espousing future plans of their having babies together

and raising his daughter, Camilla. She had decided she

loved him, would ‘forgive’ his faux pas and was ready

to get engaged to him.

I think, after all these years, I had a sick to my

stomach feeling. A deja vu moment. I saw myself, talking

myself into accepting what most, including my parents,

would consider ‘unacceptable behavior.’ This happened to


I felt compelled to write this, thinking that it may

save one person from this foolish mistake. To cover

a television show that I do feel within the realm of

my interests and studying dating patterns. Little did

I realize the ‘reality show’ would open up my memories

of a bad situation.

When Juan did not ask Claire, but told her that she

was not the one he loved, she let him have it. That

she would not take a hug, she put her arms out and

with a firm (and not bitchy voice) said that she would

not want to marry him nor wish to have any children

with him. She felt sorry for the one who would be

part of his future life. (This is the gist of Claire’s

final ‘stand,’ I am sure there are videos of this

episode, if you wish to get the juicy details.)

So, the final night with the second girl did not

go too smoothly either. Nikki had written Juan a

very heartfelt letter, professing her love for him.

She had already told him once before and she also

(like Claire) had been one of three girls to take

Juan ‘home with them.’

Nikki is saddened that Juan does not say any sort of

answer to her thoughts, her question being, ‘Do you

love me?’ This final night, she cries because she

is unsure of his answer.

Unless you have been living under a rock, or hate this

sort of thing, (hopefully you stopped reading awhile ago.)

Nikki was not given a ring nor asked to get married, by

Juan. Nikki, again, tells Juan she loves him and has

enjoyed every moment together…

Juan tells her he is not going to ask her to marry him

until he ‘is very sure’ or that he is ‘100% sure.’

Then when she has poured her heart out once again, Juan

says these words:

“I like you a lot.”


One smart man, Sean, who chose a great partner, in

Katherine (or Catherine) is in the studio audience

watching along with two other couples and a full

room. Three couples have followed the procedures,

kept the pattern or formula of finding their partners

and gotten married.

Sean says a wise statement,

“Isn’t this like biting the hand that feeds you?”

He is astounded that even on the “After the Final Rose

Ceremony,” Juan is not able to say he loves Nikki nor

if or when they will get married.

Lots of red flags have gone off, in my own head, during

the course of this particular Bachelor’s season. Juan is

able to kiss and do more with some, but says to others,

“Out of respect for my daughter, I will not kiss all the


He chose to go out into the ocean with Claire, where it

looks in the moonlight, like they are making out. Possibly


The next day, Juan gave HER a lecture about disrespecting

his daughter, making her feel bad that she had ‘enticed him

into there.’ Presumably, they did more together that night

than he had planned. She was half of the equation and yet,

he doesn’t say he is sorry. No, he places the blame on her!

If I were a pediatric nurse, as Nikki is, I would have

used my mind and my intuition to pack my bags really

early on. Looking back at the season’s shows, maybe she

still will walk out.

Here are my quick words about the girls that stayed,

once Juan’s behaviors became questionable:

Have you been brainwashed?

Have you not been out on a date for quite awhile?

Are you desperate?

Did you get ‘caught up in the moment’ and possibly

got into a competitive spirit… which explains why

you didn’t care that Juan is not the ‘brightest

bulb on the Christmas tree?’

Have you ever heard of Stockholm syndrome? Were you

held against your will?

This season’s Bachelor show did not do well in the

producer’s choice in a man to follow the guidelines.

The parents, during the family ‘hometown visit’ had

been saying that Juan doesn’t always know who to

choose, is immature and also, that he is egotistical.

I see Juan trying to come off as nice and easygoing,

while showing a lot of control and forethought into

his actions.

During commercials the week before this Final Rose

Ceremony program, they called this, “The Most

Controversial Bachelor Show Ever!”

I would call it the show that held women back in time,

to when they were not able to make their own choices.

It was a ‘throw back’ to the giddy, but sweet, movies,

like “Tammy and the Bachelor.”

Too bad it did not have the lovely innocence or

sentimentality needed in a truly romantic show.

What Do You Consider “Rude?”


This is a short rant about an administrator at our dear Ohio Wesleyan

University who snapped at me, as I held her door and made what I

considered a friendly and social comment. Let me know if you think

I was out of line!

To let you know a few definitions of the word “rude” I chose

three sources. When you write “rude definition’ on this computer

at the library, it automatically gives you the first one, no source


rude, (adjective): offensively impolite or ill-mannered.

(The second definition describes “a roughly made or done…”

like I would call a roughly hewn wooden piece of furniture.)

Merriam-Webster Dictionary lists rude as:

“Not having or showing concern for the rights or feelings

of other people.” says rude is “discourteous or impolite,

especially in a deliberate way.” Their example applies by

saying “a rude reply.”

I went to the library on OWU campus, since for some reason,

an electrical problem on a sunny day? the Delaware County District

Library was closed with a hand printed sign saying it would reopen

the following day. So, I like to walk, turned around and walked back

past my apartment building and proceeded to enter the college’s

library. I sat in a quiet area where only two people were studying.

I wrote a few emails and composed my “Pain” story. I was in a great


I got up when “closing time” arrived, walked towards the exit. On

busy days, during finals, the young college student manning the desk,

told me that they stay open ‘a lot later.’ I said, “Thank you for getting

me signed in on the computer!”

As I walked away from the desk and headed towards the door, I

noticed a woman briskly walking towards the door, so I held it open

for Her.  Whoosh! A huge, hot draft of air came into the entrance

and as the woman wearing a long-sleeved tan suede-like jacket, a

bright blue silky shirt with a bow tied at her neck, and brownish khaki

slacks passed by me. (No “thank you for holding the door” given.)

These are the “critical” words I said first.

I need you to be honest about how they may sound:

“Wow! This sure has turned out to be a hot evening! You may wish

to take your jacket off!” (As I took off my lightweight sweater worn

in the frigid cold library after she had passed through the door


Here is her (I consider “over the top MEAN”) reply.

The two sentences brusquely spoken were:

“I would appreciate it if you would keep your comments to yourself.

What I do with my clothes is none of your business!”

I will tell you that I shut my eyes tightly for a quick moment. Her

response took my breath away and along came a sweet college

female student, who was following a few steps behind us.

This young woman asked me kindly, “What did she say? You look like

she slapped you across the face!”

I told her what I said and what her two lines were delivered with a

crisp and firm voice. She said, “Oh, don’t mind her! She is an

administrator here and she is rude to everyone!”

I wondered how that looks to her coworkers. I also wondered if

she had good work reviews. This behavior may have put me in

my place. It was not a very good PR move on her part, I felt.

I talked later on the phone to my Mom who wears lightweight long

sleeved cotton shirts in pastel colors or white all summer long. This

is due to her embarassment of her skin eczema. She said that the

woman’s comments were too harsh in response to my jovial, outgoing

comments. She said sometimes when she is asked why does she wear

such attire, even in the summer, she will reply honestly about her

condition. But she did add,

“You know me! I am always happy to impart some information and no

subject is too personal or off limits! But maybe this woman has a

reason and gets sick of that kind of comment. But, I will tell you she

was acting like a “B” and wanted to squash you like a bug!”

What do you think? Was she just having a “bad day?”

(Other than I should learn how to keep my big mouth closed!)