Some stories break my heart, I am so sensitive. I have a male friend who shared
his painful childhood and I wrote about it. But this new story he was embarrassed
to share with me. No names, but the story is one that will make you think twice
about “kept women.” This is one about a kept man, who has been waiting a long time
to escape the “chains that bind him.”
It started about six years ago that my friend met a woman who seemed to really be
interested in him. She became his “tutor” in all aspects of his life. She shaped and
molded him in his appearance. She instructed him on the “proper clothes, shoes,
watch and hair style.” This attention managed to make him feel important. He wanted
to please her in all of the ways that a loving relationship would include.
He learned to cook her native foods since she was Asian. He started to learn how to
use a French Press to make his coffee. He learned first how to grind his coffee, put it in
the clean, washed press and add “Pur” water to it that had been boiled in a percolator.
When I visited him one day, I saw him scurry around the kitchen like a squirrel, he
was trying to also please me, his new friend. I worried about this obsession for it made
him nervous. He says he is “ADHD” and he would be this way, with or without this
He learned he needed to take care of himself more frequently so he bathed twice a day,
used an electric toothbrush and got his nails manicured. There would be more of these
requests as time went on. He was from a simple family with numerous siblings and a
single mother. He had learned how to make a bed, “military style” while in the Army.
He now was learning how to follow orders and make someone happy, sometimes he felt
“complete joy” in her company. He felt special, loved and “chosen.”
When he was asked to attend the opera or symphony, the woman purchased the tickets.
Together they went to the best stores where she chose his clothes, his black leather dress
shoes, and his woolen pea coat. He enjoyed the “Nutcracker Suite” performed in Columbus
and he also remembers the Italian opera but not the name of it. He was making average
wages but did some odd handyman jobs to earn more money. His goal was to try and be in
a committed relationship for the rest of his life with this woman.
Four and a half years went by, he in his simple life at his apartment. Going to her house for
daily dinners and television time with the woman. They would go out only once or twice a
year, never to a restaurant because she considered them “dirty” and “expensive.” The man
felt ready to propose. Surely this is what she would enjoy and revel in their love becoming
He planned a nice meal, all of her favorite foods. Earlier in the week, he had bought a ring
with credit payments for the next four years so that it would be adequate. He had listened
carefully to the jeweler and asked for advice on size, clarity and so forth. He really hoped and
felt he had chosen the most beautiful ring in the world for her!
The woman enjoyed her homecooked meal and she liked watching her boyfriend wash the
dishes. She sat and chatted about her daughter and also, about a mutual couple that she
had introduced him to, who hired him as their painter and “jack of all trades.” She was very
quiet when he walked over to her and got on bended knee. She must have known, because
even he saw a flash of panic come across her face.
She saw the ring and was close to tears, her answer as plain as day shown in her eyes.
“No, I could NEVER marry you!”
Those words slapped the man across the face and he then collapsed, tears in his eyes.
She said that she had worried he had gotten the “wrong idea” but had hoped he knew
it would be impossible to marry. She lived in a “$500,000 townhouse that she owned.”
He lived in an apartment that she only visited once, over the years, and he paid “$900
a month’s rent.”
She ended it that night. They would remain close friends but he must get on a dating
site to find another woman and start a new life.
He felt very depressed for a month. Then, he reluctantly got online. He met a friend of
mine and they hung out. I met him also but did not think he was my type. The story of
his childhood made me think differently about his being outgoing and kind of a ‘smart ass’
guy. That did not mean I would like him or that my friend thought him ‘dating material.’
The recent revelation is that a year and a half after the proposal, this man was called to
the woman’s house. She answered the door, with a robe and request. Would he come back
and be her boyfriend, exactly as before? No public places except once or twice a year where
the symphony or a theatre production would be their indulgence.
When he said, “No, I cannot come back as I was, I want a full commitment or nothing” she
went into her expensive and perfectly decorated condo and came out with a typed bill! This
bill listed the four and a half years’ worth of expenditures that she had spent to keep him
attired, coiffed, and fed in the best style possible.
I will not hesitate to tell you the given figure: $19,000 was the total!
This man came to my friend, desperate, wondering did he need a lawyer? Does he have to
pay for the lifestyle that SHE kicked him out of?
This story may astound you but this is totally true. The man is working off his debt slowly
but surely. He would not listen to us! We told him, “Those were GIFTS! You gave her Love!”
Twisted ending to a NEVER to be happily ever after story.