Category Archives: sick time

Fun Clothesline Poem

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I have to admit this is not mine, nor is the author identified. It is one

where the memory of clean, gently blown sheets with the brisk, stiff

texture makes this poem worthwhile. I hope it is evocative of olden

days when your mother or grandmother, (father or grandfather) put

clothes on a line, using wooden clothespins and maybe, the image

of those undulating sheets will give you a smile or two:

 

Clothesline Poem

 

“A clothesline was a news forecast,

To neighbors passing by,

There were no secrets you could keep,

When clothes were hung to dry.

 

It also was a friendly link,

For neighbors always knew

If company had stopped on by,

To spend a night or two.

 

For then you’d see the ‘fancy sheets,’

And towels upon the line;

You’d see the ‘company table cloths,’

With intricate designs.

 

The line announced a baby’s birth,

From folks who lived inside,

As brand new infant clothes were hung,

So carefully with pride.

 

The ages of the children could,

So readily be known

By watching how the sizes changed,

You’d know how much they’d grown.

 

It also told when illness struck,

As extra sheets were hung;

Then nightclothes and a bathrobe, too,

Haphazardly were strung.

 

Clothes off of the line before dinner time,

Neatly folded in the clothes basket. . .

And ready to be ironed.

Ironed?

Well, that’s another whole other subject.”

 

My son and his wife, hang their summer laundry on a clothesline,

using the big plastic (non-rustable) clothespins. They also have

had clothing line disasters, since they have two big dogs, along

with my daughter in law’s Dad’s Great Dane. These dogs running

around have been known to create some havoc with old-fashioned,

but ecologically sound way of drying their laundry. There are only

a few things better smelling than clean, air- and wind-dried laundry.

The clothing, towels and sheets used to smell like sunshine!

 

Let me know of any memories this brought forth… thanks for

sharing!

 

 

Some Humor among the Sarcasm

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I laughed at a real life news story, where a mother of four children

came out from shopping with her kids, of one of those ‘box stores,’

having a cart load of groceries and necessities. She walked over to

where her car was supposed to be, and it was gone!

Stolen!

She managed to catch a person who allowed her to use their phone.

She called “9-1-1” and then turned to the sympathetic man, who had

been asking, “What else he could do?”

 

The single mother, smiled, as she asked him,

“One more favor, may I use your cell  phone just one more time?

It’s local!”

 

She then asked her kids and the man to move away.

Go back on the sidewalk and get far away.”

Again, she promised to make it quick!

 

This true story was told on the news on Monday, so there may even be a

video of the next part of the story. . . You know how Youtube catches the

news!

 

The woman called her own cell phone, knowing she had left it in the cup

holder. Like idiots, the thieves opened her phone and asked, “Hello?”

She blurted out a blazing trail of swear words, saying that she was a

single mother with four kids and “Why in the world would you choose

my  ‘piece of junk’ car to steal, anyway?”

 

She then added to the unfortunate robbers of her van, “You morons,

I know that my phone has some kind of a chip in it for locating where

you are at. Get back here NOW!”

 

Supposedly, the van was returned, before the police had arrived, and

they even handed her the keys before they took off, through the busy

shopping plaza, on foot.

I was smiling all the way to work on Monday, due to this genius move

by a desperate single Mom!

 

Another funny part of the news was that supposedly “Mr.T” had to show up

at his local courthouse, since he got an official letter telling him the date to

go and serve  on Jury Duty! He actually  was dismissed. He was very

disappointed that he was not asked to serve on a case. There was a group

of people in the waiting room, having coffee and talking to him. They had

some selfies taken with “Mr. T,” too. The funny thing that someone asked

him, was would he ‘pretend hit him,’ posing for a picture. Now, the radio

announcer for this ‘news flash,’ used a comical voice, imitating “Mr. T.”

in his response,

(Using the unique and amusing way that “Mr. T.” use himself  in the third

person, too.)

“Mr. T.”  cannot look like he is hitting you, because “Mr. T.” don’t want any

trouble with the ‘po-lice.'”

Of course, he did not actually say this but the gist of the situation is true,

that a young man wanted him to pretend fight with him, for his cell phone

but “Mr. T.” politely declined and instead gave him a hug.

 

Now  this one is from my friend, Melvin, who was on a ‘rant’ so excuse the

angry sarcasm. Our mutual young friend, Cody, who we have both given rides

home, in the heated afternoons and early evenings, after what we consider

‘grueling’ days, got too many ‘points’ and lost his job.

Here is the way the excited tone and words were exchanged in the parking

lot today:

Melvin uses a Martin Lawrence/Chris Tucker shrieking voice that is very

indignant in this rampage:

“So, Robin, we have three situations here. All three are given the exact SAME

Number of Points, am I clear on this?

First, Tina, who is a ‘white girl,’ gets 9 points but has no other points so she

gets to keep her job, after hitting a security guard and leaving.

(And honest to Pete, he did add this ‘racial’ clarification. Sorry, don’t be too

offended because under the rant, there is an element of truth. I am upset, too.)

Second, our good friend, Peggy, turned 60 and we had a grand party for her,

but she gets assigned to using one of those awful heavy bulk riding machines.

(He is really stretching the high pitched tone, which makes me laugh, despite

myself.)

Poor Peggy, unwittingly trips over her feet getting off the machine, falls and

hits her head on the concrete, and gets the SAME number of points, ‘white

girl’ gets no breaks. 9 points! She had to go to the hospital, get X-rays and

set up for an MRI tomorrow, and she will get Workman’s Comp, which means

she will not have to pay for this accident, EXCEPT Peggy will have to be careful

for the rest of the next 12 months, or she will lose her job for hitting her head.

Do I have this right, Robin?”

I looked at him, expressing disgust with the unfairness of these two very different

situations. Peggy should not have had to be on equipment, without any kind of

re-training. She should not get any points, in my opinion! (And Melvin’s, too.)

Then Melvin concludes his story, with his agitated distorted voice, since you

would think normally he were an “upper crust” New Englander, being raised

by his island parents, going to school in Boston and having served in the Army

in Europe:

“Robin, my man Cody, arrives late to work and has accumulated the one point

for poor attendance, Right? Then, my good boy who is very good in his position

in Heavy Bulk, is parking his equipment, runs the metal fork into a metal rack.

He is done with his work, just parking it. There rings out a metal ‘Clash!” and

someone runs to the Bin Order Filler office, someone who for some Ungodly,

Unholy reason ‘has it out for my black young friend, my ‘brother’ Cody gets

9 points today and is ‘walked out,’ like a common criminal!”

Tammy and I have listened to Melvin’s tirade. We have had sympathy for

Tina (awhile back her hit and run was a subject of a post) and Peggy, just is

devastated, having never received more than 2 points in the 15 years of working

here.

Tammy was the one who stopped laughing over Melvin’s hysterical rendering

of the unfairness of it all, first. I was just shaking my head. I have a feeling that

Peggy’s sister or brother, both having been to college and have attorneys, will

be looking for a settlement. This will all ‘back fire’ on the administration. I just

hope that Peggy will come back since she has not reached 62 nor retirement age.

Melvin’s summary is (again NOT politically correct), “So, if you are a ‘white lady,’

you can hit a security guard, leave the scene of the crime, keep your job and not

serve time. You get 9 points.

You be a ‘white lady,’ you have been getting a little on the ‘old’ side of things,

you trip and fall, hurt your own self, and get 9 points.

Then, you show up late once for work, as a black boy needs his sleep, you get

1 point. You hit a rack, no injuries whatsoever, no one even close by, you make

some noise, someone notices, and you get reported on. You get 9 points, make

it to that darn 10 you lose your job!! Gimme justice!”

 

Melvin wanted to come up with a better ‘punchline,’ but this was it:

“The inequitable number of ‘9’ must have been pulled out of someone high up in

the organization, to be used three times in three different situations. They must

have pulled it out of their high falutin’ behinds!”

If you had heard his vocal impression of the irritated actors then you may be

laughing. (I think he does a great job of Chris Tucker, from those movies with

Jackie Chan.)

But you know this one is not a laughing matter!

As Melvin got into his car, he raised his arm in the old “Black Power” fist

and said, “I want Justice for my man, Cody!!”

 

The continuing saga of  work, just glad I have received no points this year!

If you are a minute late from lunch you earn a ‘point’ and are considered,

‘tardy.’ If you miss work on a day that you are supposed to have a doctor’s

excuse, (Mondays and Fridays) you will earn that random number of 9 points.

 

 

Apt. Dweller and Co-worker: Beware of the Wrath of Robin!

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Lessons will be learned!

Fridays are our ‘get ‘er done’ days at work- usually promised 4-5 hours

but, for some insane reason, our orders from Advance Auto stores have

picked up! Holidays don’t sound like a good time, in my opinion, to work

on cars! But parts are rolling out of our distribution center like crazy!

Last Friday, (Nov. 15th), I went to my dermatologist and took the whole half

day off. I ended up doing errands and had a great lunch out at a place called

“The Horsey Inn” on the way westward towards Marysville. I got a couple

of irregular spots on my left leg “frozen” and my four month check-up of

my ear. Poor ear, no draft took so it has a little notch out of it. The Dr. I go

to locally bemoaned this, sorry that the other Dr. in Westerville, is still

sending me bills to pay up until 2014! I found out from him, you may

remember, that you need to be concerned more about your left side of

your face (and ears) if you drive and forget that the windows won’t

protect you from sun damage. My two spots on leg, notice, were also

on the left side. So, from now on, I will be slathering on the over SPF 30

all over in odd places!

Someone told me this past Monday, Nov. 18th, that a man who lives in

my building was “speculating about my whereabouts and had told a

complete bunch of smokers, out in the ‘butt hut,'” that I “couldn’t have

been sick, since my car was not in the apt. parking lot all day last Friday!”

(Well, someone ‘spilled the beans’ and without saying his name, I have

had fun this week telling people about the appointment that I made in

June, that I had plans for the other few hours that I used my sick time,

etc.)

Hmmm… “How to approach this person?”

My almost-seething self wondered? I was partly amused as I dropped off

my copies of my “Excuse Back to Work” in triplicate: one to the HR person

for my files, one to my immediate boss and one to my boss’ boss. Also,

told my immediate boss,

“I have an appointment in May, 2014, should I wait till January to let

you know? Oh, and here is my request off for November 26th for my eyes

to get dilated and extensive tests. (You may or may not know I had two

laser procedures for narrow eye glaucoma a couple of years ago…) And,

I wrote this down for needing an hour of sick time on this day to go to

the dentist.”

She responded, “You will still end the year with over 40 hours’ sick time,

Robin.”

And, Melvin took up the humorous approach of sneaking up, all of

a sudden, into my work areas, and springing hilarious and outrageous

assumptions and accusations!

Here are a few and hope to bring you some Saturday chuckles!

1.) “I know what you did last summer!” He whispered, conspiratorily.

2.) “I saw that man from the gas station with you on your living room

carpet.” He whispered and winked!

3.) “I know that you ate a hot dog for breakfast!” He rubbed his chubby

belly and smiled.

4.) “I know that you were out past midnight on Tuesday night!” (Well,

folks, that one was TRUE!)

5.) “I know you take plastic silverware home from McD’s so you don’t

have to wash dishes!” (Ok, Melvin, that one is true, too!)

6.) “I know what you wear to bed! You better close those blinds!” He

smirked and rolled his eyes…

I am not kidding, once Melvin gets it in his head to tease, he will do it

endlessly! These are only a few that I could remember. I was eating with

the girls, and he was over with the guys who face the other direction to

watch the sports network. He snuck up on me, watching the noisy, happy

“The New Price is Right with Drew Carey.”

Melvin put his hand on my shoulder, whispered rather loudly these words,

“I know that you have a crush on someone who works here and lives in

your apartment!” Everyone at my table and the next one started to laugh!

Tammy roared and said, “You are too funny, Melvin!”

Not a chance that I would have a crush on this man, who is above average

looking, but is extremely fastidious and too law-abiding for my tastes!

I blame my liking (or loving) “bad boys” on those two men in the poster

that hung above my bed throughout my older teens and into college

years, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid! (My Dad put little strips of

finishing wood to frame that infamous poster up!)

So… What have I done to the ‘guilty party,’ Don? I have been incessantly

telling him my plans. I have been preparing him for my upcoming sick

time days and my personal scheduled activities. Just in case he wants

to report them, just getting the facts straight.

Have I directly told him, “I know you blabbed about my car’s location

and the way you assumed I called in sick?”

Nope, that is not my “mode of operandi!”

By pulling my ‘chain,’ he better watch out for my subtle way of retaliation!

Any suggestions for “revenge” in a tasteful way?