Category Archives: solid core

Famous T. V. Dads

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Famous television fathers were quite conventional, sometimes filling

current stereotypes, but they usually seemed above normal in their

tolerance and patience. We were talking at Friday’s midpoint mark, in

the breakroom about how we may have formed misconceptions about

the way dads should act from watching these early family shows. After

all, most of us did not have traditional fathers, who would go to work in

suits and ties, come in cheerful, pull out a newspaper and quietly unwind.

I am sure my father wished he could have been ‘so lucky!’

My family consisted of two bread-winners and the three of us children,

were often in the winter months the last ones picked up at our baby-

sitter’s house. I remember looking out of Mrs. Boos’ picture window

into the darkness, wondering which day it was that Mom was doing her

oracle debates, drama or Spanish club meetings? I would sigh with an

almost exasperated ‘whoosh!’ when I finally saw her station wagon’s

headlights in the driveway. Mrs. Boos had two sons who played with my

brothers, occasionally I would join in or get a chance to sit on Diana’s

bed, her teenaged daughter and look at pictures of the Beatles or the

Dave Clark Five, or sometimes there would be magazines full of fashion

and hairstyles. My Mom was pleased when Diana went to Kent State

University and invited me to spend “Siblings Weekend,” as Diana’s baby

‘sister,’ Robin.

When we got home, my Dad, usually, would be home shortly, pulling off

his tie, after he took off his jacket, asking what he needed to do to ‘pitch

in.’ Spoiled me, made me think all fathers were like this. Today, Saturday,

June 14th, 2014, they had on the CBS Morning Show, a segment on the

percentage of fathers in the fifties, sixties and seventies that helped out

in child-rearing responsibilities. Sadly, they still said in the more recent

years the percentage of household responsibilities, even with working

moms being in the majority, it is still not a 50/50 deal.

Anyway, Melvin’s Mom and Dad were more like my parents, sharing the

chores and also, enjoying family times together. He admitted most of

his African American friends had either a limited amount of fatherly

involvement or none.

Tammy said that her mother had stayed home, whenever she would ask

for help inside the house, her father was quick to remind her, “You don’t

work.” She was dismayed at this behavior, remembering, even as a young

girl in her imagination, “I won’t stand for this in my adult life!” (Tammy

and Mike have been friends since childhood, “fence post buddies,” but have

never tied the knot.) She certainly is open that she doesn’t even have a

joint account with Mike, they just split the bills and love each other. She

is an independent woman, almost the ‘polar opposite’ from the parents

she dearly loves.

Trevinal said his parents are more together now, but in his childhood his

father sounded like my first husband, wished for dinner on the table,

kids cleaned up and early to bed, and lots of time watching his favorite

sports shows on television. There is a whole different love that he and his

wife share, more understanding and encouragement. He is so ‘blessed,’

he says to have someone who believed in his ability to think. The family

cannot believe that he is in Nursing School, working fulltime to pay his

bills and rising far above the expectations of Special Education. He feels

that by meeting the ‘right’ woman to share his life is a ‘daily blessing.’

His being in his thirties, reminds me of my own son, and I also remind

him of my belief in his ability to be a good father, when the time comes.

Here are the above persons’ and other coworkers, along with family

members who have cited some excellent, funny and different television

situational comedies for “Best Examples of Television Fathers:”

1.  My favorite father of all time, is from the show, “My Three Sons.” This

show allowed a non-traditional father, in amongst the ‘drones’ that I

found on other television shows. The combined household of widower,

played by Fred McMurray, his brother, who was the boys’ Uncle Charlie,

and the three rowdy boys always made me admire the patience, fortitude

and compassion showing what I considered “true family values.”

 

That is not to say, I didn’t laugh at the antics of Dick Van Dyke, Danny Thomas,

John Forsythe  (“Bachelor Father”) or Brian Keith (“Family Affair.”) I also liked

“The Ozzie and Harriet Show,” an almost first time reality show, since the family

was played by actual family members. I liked the sense of humor and the handsome

boys in this one! (Diana, my babysitter’s daughter, also had a few articles in her

teen magazines which featured the Nelson boys, especially the “cute” Ricky!

 

2.  Hugh Beaumont, who played the Dad on “Leave It to Beaver,” was the one

that my coworker, Mark, listed as his favorite. The different ways that influenced

his choice was first he liked that Beaver’s mother wore an apron, like his mother

did, daily. Also, that the father character hardly ever yelled, even under stressful

times.

3.  Tammy said the whole family in her household liked, “The Danny Thomas

Show.” I still like that Marlo Thomas was an independent woman, not hurrying

into marriage until she fell in love, in real life, with the talk show host, Phil

Donahue. I also personally enjoyed the fact she is a columnist in my “AARP

Magazine.” Tammy said she liked Danny Thomas, since he presented a few

shows, mentioning different cultures. I would have to check this out, but do

support and believe in St. Jude Children’s Hospital. Marlo has said that she

got her Dad’s slightly sarcastic sense of humor, which carries her through

tough times.

4.  Trevinal still remembers almost every show that “Family Matters” had

on television. He has found this to calm him, looking at Urkel’s silly dress

code, high water pants and his often expressed question, “Did I do that?”

The sense of humor and the family were something he admired and felt

that Urkel’s character was one that gave him confidence when he made

mistakes, throughout many of his years,  in life.

Trevinal’s words are very powerful, expressing this to me:

“Whenever Urkel goofed up, people would roll their eyes, sometimes

bellow at him, but always forgive him. That is how I wish to be when I

am a father.”

Reginald VelJohnson, who played the father in “Family Matters,” is

in one of my youngest daughter’s favorite shows, “Hart of Dixie.”

(Rachel Bilson and Tim Matheson play doctors on that country

setting show.)

Trevinal also noted that Urkel was a neighbor,  the family next door’s kid,

but he became part of the family and included, whether wanted there or not,

anyway.

5.  Keith told me, laughing, while lifting a box in the aerosol room, in what we

call the “Bomb Shelter,” that his favorite father character was Archie Bunker.

That show was called, “All in the Family,” where all sorts of issues popped up,

Archie sticking his neck out, saying all kinds of bigoted or prejudiced comments,

but usually backing down on them. Meeting people of all ethnicities, while they

were in an urban setting, with his wife being accepting, his daughter also very

open minded and often, Rob Reiner, playing “Meathead,” took the brunt of

Archie’s anger. I asked why he thought of this character? He told me, a little

bit sheepishly, that his own father was ‘backwards’ and ‘ignorant’ like Archie

had been. This made him become aware that there were other perspectives

on people. I appreciated Keith’s candor. He also added his parents were from

Kentucky! He added this with a laugh, like that explained everything!

He also said he respected the actor, Carroll O’Connor,  who had gone on to

play a cop, with a black partner, in the show, “The Heat of the Night.”

6.  My son, James, joked that he liked Homer Simpson, for the same reason

that Keith liked Archie Bunker. He said they were the ‘opposite of everything

he hoped for in a father.’ He also said that making mistakes for Homer, making

poor judgments, did make him feel more comfortable in his own parenting

skills.

7.  My oldest daughter said she liked Patrick Duffy, in the show, “Step by Step.”

She had a crush on him, from early days of watching, “Dallas,” and also had

a young ‘crush’ on Cody, the cousin who lives in a van in the driveway on this

sit-com. I liked it because Suzanne Somers was a hairdresser, average single

mother, who found a man with children to marry. I think the idea of stepkids,

appealed to me, also in ‘The Brady Bunch.”

When I mentioned my oldest daughter’s opinion, the men still were ‘hooting’

and ‘hollering,’ in a playful manner. They said she ‘made’ the show, “Three’s

Company,” and still looks great to this day.

8.  No one named, “Father Knows Best,” but all cited this as their 2nd and 3rd

choice of Best Television Father.

9. Charlene, whose young son, Ian, was in on my ‘Opinion Poll’ on Thursday,

had said she loved, “Wonder Years.” Since the mother character is on our

favorite soap opera, (Allie Mills), she remembered to point out she is good in

“The Bold and the Beautiful.” She also mentioned that the Dad on “Wonder

Years,” had to tackle difficult teen subject matter, since the boys grow up on

that show, from junior high through high school. I have to check out the dates,

be back to tell you the years: 1988 until 1993. The father’s character was

played by Dan Lauria. The couple who ended up taking the show into the

more mature theme included Danica McKellar and Fred Savage as “Winnie

Cooper,” and the kid next door, “Kevin Arnold.” In the Arnold family, the

mother stays home while the father worked. An interesting fact that I found

out was, Danica’s sister could have won the part of “Winnie,” the directors

say it was a ‘toss up’ between Danica and Crystal McKellar.

10. My mother loved the shows with Bill Bixby, including his role in “My

Favorite Martian” and “The Hulk.” But when I would come home from

junior high and high school, I would have the lights off, my Mom sitting

on one end of the sofa with her feet up on an ottoman, watching, “The

Courtship of Eddie’s Father.” When I overheard that song on the radio

and recently, on a commercial, I would almost “tear up.” Mom was much

more tired when I was that age, she would not volunteer to be coaches,

helpers or club counselors at Westlake High School. She would be the

chaperone, with my Dad by her side, for dances. That was as much energy

as she could ‘wrangle up,’ in her forties. I love Harry Nilsson’s song, the

memory of her sometimes lightly snoring, until the song would play

and she would sit up, watch and share those moments. My one brother

would be in track, (Spring), water boy in basketball, (Winter) or in

Cross Country, (Fall). This was ‘our time.’ The song began with these

words: “Let me tell you about my best friend,…” (The song includes

the father saying, “My pride and joy.”)

By the way, the jingles or songs for television would make an excellent

memorable post. When we were noticing the songs, we all agreed that

the piano playing and the off-key singing by Edith Bunker, played by

Jean Stapleton, was iconic: “Those Were the Days.”

That “Wonder Years” song, “I Get By With a Little Help From MyFriends,”

is legendary. We were nostalgic, reminiscent of family shows when there

weren’t as many choices on television and everyone’s family gathered together

to watch the shows. Even the commercials were memorable.

10.  The last contributor to this post on television fathers was my youngest

daughter’s suggestion of “Little House on the Prairie.” She enjoyed the setting

out West, through tough times, settling and learning how to live as a family

in a different time period had intrigued her.

She grew up watching this in reruns on Nickelodeon. This television

dramatic series ran from 1974 until 1983. (She was born in 1985.)

She reminded me that she read most of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books,

after I introduced them to her. She felt Michael Landon portrayed a

very charismatic and dynamic father. I am happy that she remembered

him in this role. (His personal life, somewhat like the much admired

Bing Crosby; left much to be desired. I feel the same about Eric Clapton,

Robin Williams and Bill Cosby. Troubled, but still admired for their

personal talents and  the ‘body of their works.’)

What was your favorite television father?

Faithful and True Loves

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To start this with a great big smile, I would like to say

“Happy 50th Birthday, dear Brad Pitt!” I am so glad you are

joining the “ranks” of over fifty year olds. It seems like

only yesterday that you were in “Thelma and Louise” and

breaking out as a handsome “new” actor! My, oh my! When you

took your shirt off, driving those poor women wild! And you

were 28 years old. I was 36 years old, back then. You seemed

so much younger… (By the way, Keith Richards turned 70 years

old today, on December 18, 2013.)

But now, Brad, you are only a “few” years younger and it is all

an “even playing field,” with similar aches and pains. You ‘rose

to the occasion,’ recently handling a personal trauma with your

longtime partner and mother of your children. I admire your

adopting children from many countries and also, raising your

children with a world view of life.

Angelina shared her having a double mastectomy and reconstructive

surgery, bravely to the world, with you by her side.

If we are making a list of the Twelve Days of Christmas and come

to that line, “my True Love gave to me…” We may wish to consider

that these fine men could have easily been persuaded to leave

their wives, but didn’t. They stayed with their “true loves.”

Last post, I wrote about “lying, “false advertising,” mentioned

how corporations “cheat” and sometimes break the laws… and

other ways that deceit can happen, like unfaithfulness.

I don’t count Brad Pitt in the “bad apples” pile, since he did

‘redeem himself,’ (after leaving Jennifer Anniston.) He could

not help it, as I feel anyone who has been through divorce or

a break-up can empathize. Brad Pitt had not chosen the right

love for what values and direction he was heading. It took

making a movie with Angelina Jolie to find what the world can

view as his true ‘soul mate.’ He has shown great caring as a

father and supportive partner.

My final words on Brad,(today) are I am thankful that he

helped financially support the film “12 Years a Slave” through

being one of the executive producers. He also performed in a

small part of the film, doing a fine job once again. This movie

needed to be made for all the young people in the audience that

Bill and I saw, taking in the pain, anguish and horrors of slavery.

Those of us who grew up watching the mini-series, “Roots” or seeing

the movie, “Glory,” somewhat known what the African Americans went

through during the period of slavery and the Civil War. Although,

nothing could compare to their actual experiences. I am ‘plugging’

this movie since it is now up for Globe Awards and the Academy Awards.

I am sure the Actors’ Guild Awards will have this movie on their list

of the ten best last year or it may win “Best Picture of 2013.”

I have a wonderful “nice” list of men who have been in the ‘limelight’

plus the spotlight in the media and news for a long time. This is a

list I found in the October “AARP Magazine” of men staying faithful to

their first wives. (As far as we can tell, from no media massacres,

no angry exes writing their memoirs or complaining on “The Talk.” All

the editorial comments, hopefully somewhat amusing, were written solely

by myself. I am a movie buff and most are from memory. If you have a

favorite movie or television show with one of these “good guys” in

it, let us know!

Here goes a fine list of longtime marriage partners with only one

spouse:

1. The gorgeous Andy Garcia. (“Godfather” fame, also acted as a sweet,
but disconcerted husband in the 2013 Hallmark movie, “Christmas in
Conway.” In the movie, he has a wife who has cancer and he rebuilds
the ferris wheel that he proposed to her on, while they were young.)

2. The humorous comedian and actor (I loved him in “My Girl” as
a father and mortician, also in “Driving Miss Daisy”) Dan Aykroyd.

3. Director and supporter of many causes, Spike Lee, a quirky
but handsome black man! I like a man who looks good in glasses.
My favorites are “Malcolm X” for serious material and “Crooklyn”
for a family movie. There are many more on his directors’ list.

4. Christopher Walken, can be scary but has managed to hold onto
his wife for many years! He is also funny, like on Saturday Night
Live. “Pulp Fiction” and “The Deer Hunter” are serious, but the
movie, “The Stand Up Guys” has some humorous parts.

5. “Welcome to My Nightmare,” singer and writer, Alice Cooper has
been married to his wife for many years. I still like his sensitive
song, “Only Women Bleed,” and that may explain why once he takes off
the makeup, he can possibly give his wife a back rub or foot massage.

6. Funny man, sensitive actor, (“MASH” television series, movies)
Alan Alda has been married for years on end. It would be nice to have
someone to make you laugh and yet, hold you while you cry, too. He may
have driven “Hot Lips” Houlihan nuts, but he showed a lot of compassion
on MASH, too.

7. Nolan Ryan, former Major League baseball player and an Executive
Officer for the Texas Rangers, is a “hunk” and we know the way ‘groupies’
can try to seduce athletes traveling on the road; probably just as often
as movie stars! He is still married to his first wife.

8. Jeff Bridges, raised in a family-oriented acting family, remember his
Dad on “Sea Hunt?” I liked Lloyd Bridges and Beau Bridges, too. Jeff is
still married to his first wife, has been in movies as recently as the
remake of “True Grit” and “Crazy Heart.” (Both very good but quite
different movies. In “Crazy Heart,” he won awards for his playing an
alcoholic country western singer.

9. The handsome singer and actor, Kevin Bacon, has a beautiful wife,
who just quit her role as “The Closer” (a police show on television
which I was a faithful fan of). Their marriage has stood the test of
time and spaces apart, while she was filming and Kevin stayed home
with the kids for awhile, too.

10. Martin Sheen, activist, movie actor and family man. He has been
married for quite a number of years. Raised a wild bunch of men,
including Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez.

Here are the last three in a group, I have run out of steam, but

give this trio a round of applause for their staying in their first

marriages without any controversy or lawsuits: Jon Bon Jovi, you

are an attractive man with a great voice, I love you, man! Glad

to see that you have made the list of “nice guys” with funny

man and actor, Jerry Stiller (whose wife, Meara made them a

famous couple/duo of comedians while I was growing up!) Last,

but certainly not least, Billy Crystal. You are one of my

favorite hosts of the Academy Awards, I liked your light

hearted comedies and hope to see more of you in the movies!

No “Fatal Attraction” news of women and affairs with any of

the above men!

Hope this balances out my negative post yesterday.

We could have some birthday cake to celebrate Brad’s 50th or

Keith’s 70th…

Or how about some Christmas goodies, while humming the song,

“12 Days of Christmas?” Now you know a few more ‘true loves!’

Date #2 with Ray

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I feel after our first and second dates, I still have hopes for

this Ray!

We don’t talk about all those controversial,  messy, and

possibly toxic subjects like religion or politics. We have

had some good conversations about families. We have

both been through some challenging times. Ray has never

been married which makes it a little different from other

men I have recently dated.

We met at the Cheesecake Factory fairly early on Sat. and

got our little buzzer (I am sure it is called another name but

for the life of me, I cannot think of it!) It buzzes and flashes

at you basically letting you know your waiting time is up and

your table is ready. What is that called, anyone?

I had decided that by our meeting so early to beat the dinner

rush, I would not drink. Last time, it was coffee, a drink of

wine with dinner, then closing with another coffee. That kept

me from falling asleep on the way home. I still have not totally

adjusted to being a single driver! After almost seven years, I

have usually had a driver or a passenger wherever I have driven

for any length of time at night. Going to my Mom’s I am alone but

leaving right after work, no glasses of wine and lots of sugar, and

junk food and caffeine along the way!

I like to order variations of grilled chicken salads at restaurants

that have great desserts usually. That way, I can “justify” the extra

calories of the cheesecake (in this case it will be a caramel or a

turtle or some other combination of my favorites, chocolate and

nuts, too.) I ordered coffee and Ray ordered a draft beer.

We look at the menus and chit chat. His week has been “eventful”

down in his neck of the woods. I am not sure if he is allowed to

discuss what were the cases so I remained silent for awhile. No

specifics were brought up. I have not been paying close attention

to the Newark and surrounding area’s need for police. I almost

want details, but I suppose I could look up their paper and find

out! I am a curious (okay, nosy!) woman. Is it a ‘lawless’ sort of

population? Are they above average in their misbehavior?

I answer, “Mine was uneventful, but super busy!”

Nothing like letting the colorful and busy atmosphere, with fun

loving clientele to watch, provide entertainment. I like to play with

some of my best friends the guessing game about the patrons sitting

nearby. (Are they happy? What do they do? etc.) At the mall or on

restaurant patios during the summer it is the standard for conversation.

So, back to other information. His mother is 86 and lives next door

to him. Ray said at the time the house went up for sale next to her

home, he had not planned to buy. But he noticed that it was up for

quite awhile and then, there was a posted notice. Foreclosure.

He knew by being a sheriff and having a dependable income he would

be likely to get the house. I inquired about his mother and how were

her capabilities? She is still living fairly independently.

He goes to the grocery for her. She likes the large print magazines and

books so he takes her to the library. It is nice to hear about such devotion.

He often regrets one of the women in his life “that got away.” He said

she wanted to move from the area and thought he could leave and find

similar law enforcement jobs anywhere. She had a specific career that

would involve more of what he terms a “‘big city’ lifestyle.”

He let that subject drop and went on to say he is very involved with a

softball team and also, his nephews’ activities.

He has one sister and one brother. Both have married and have children.

I told him some things about my family that weren’t covered on our first

date. I also did not give out too much about the divorces, personal info,

and did fill him in more about my adorable and sometimes hysterical

mother! I even told him my summer story about the attack of the flies

in her apartment that my youngest daughter and I were part of and

I blogged about before.

I got Ray to smile! He is not, in my opinion, a big fan of funny things.

Even the movies he cites are action, dramatic or true to life. He does not

like to read books. I said that other men tell me this in a defensive tone

thinking as a past teacher, I will judge them!

“Not a problem,” I told him, “since I just read to relax and enjoy, I have

not indulged in educational or enlightenment books for about six years.

‘To each his own.'”

I said I have two brothers who did not have their own children but have

had a great impact on my own three children and one brother has stepkids.

“It probably creates less hassle when dating, “I mused, “No children to get

in the mix of things.”

He explained in a rather frustrated tone that  he could not believe how many

women have discarded him early on due to his helping his mother. Let alone

not having children! Also, he added, due to where he lives and works.

“Most of the people I contact are from Columbus, “I share.

Our dinners arrived and I asked for more pecans, crumbled blue cheese and

dressing. (I have a gripe and feel it is fair to tell you, I have worked in food

service off and on to fill in gaps, from my sophomore year of high school

up to six years ago at Cracker Barrel.)

I asked for those additions and saw the person look and nod,  because I was

with ‘Cool Hand Luke’ or “Make my day” Ray I did not tell the server, “Are

you writing those down?” I mean, it will save the wait staff a trip and also,

my waiting while my date is eating his meal! Just a side comment! I did

not let on how irritated I was at this time!

He asked for another beer added to my pre-ordered salad condiments.

Our male server appeared stressed and I tried to reassure him not to worry.

But that nice, pressure relieving comment caused our additional orders

to be delayed. I realized, too late, that I should have let Ray be the one

putting the pressure ON!

I ended up eating half of it before he returned. That really bothered Ray,

he started to talk to him about wanting to see a manager.

I was a little embarrassed. I do this relating to the other person that in

a textbook, might be labeled “empathetic.” He was using an icy calm,

louder but firm voice.

When the manager came and said we could have our desserts free, Ray

relaxed and stopped being upset. He wanted to know if we could walk

around the mall to get our food digested and then have a coffee there.

I was impressed with his ability to handle the tough situation yet switch

gears almost immediately. No storm brewing or ranting on and on: Good!

I had my turtle cheesecake and he had a cookies and cream cheesecake.

We both drank water with the desserts. I had brought cash to offer for

my meal, the tip or both. He declined and I thanked him profusely.

I think I overdid it and regret sounding so grateful. Not much I can do

about that now! I need to work on my normal thank you’s and less

profuse sorry’s. Guilty of those offsetting behaviors, one brother points

out regularly that it sets me up to be a ‘victim of control.’

We walked around the mall on the first floor and then up to the Starbucks

on the second floor of Polaris. We got our coffees and sat on a sofa close

to the railing to watch the people below. I noticed an unusual aspect to Ray

and wondered if this is because he is a sheriff: he never talks about the

people around him nor observes any details while we walked. I pointed out

a few things around me, the Spring displays and the children up rather late.

I noticed a couple with bright clothing, the woman wore red poppies and the

man had on a turquoise shirt with tan khakis. They looked nice but they

looked like they were from a warmer climate. I asked him to guess or think

aloud where they could have come from?

Ray said, “Isn’t that what little kids say or teens think?”

I replied, “Do you mean it may be rude? I was thinking as long as you didn’t

point it would be okay to discuss people.” (Maybe, readers you can let me

know if this is a silly game to play?)

I dropped that because the awkward silence got to be too much. I didn’t want

to push my luck!

I yawned (really the sugar was wearing off already? the coffee not hitting yet?)

and he said, “Well, maybe we should call it a night?”

I said, “It is more up to you since you are the one who has farther to drive.”

Ray stood up and took my empty cup to the trash. A nice law abiding man.

I hope we can have a joke or something that will lighten the mood.

So, here is the joke I told to make him smile as we walked the length of the

mall:

(thanks to my Mom’s friend, Pooky, who sends her copied email jokes!)

“An elderly couple had been going to a counselor for their marriage

and part of their home exercises were to practice repeating things.

Along with that, they each had a pad of paper and were supposed to

write down notes in case they forgot something.

One night the husband jumped up during a t.v. commercial and said

he was going to get some ice cream. His wife said, “I would like some

too. Can I tell you what I would like? Do you need to write it down?”

Her husband said, “Go ahead and tell me.”

She replied, “I would like vanilla ice cream.”

Her husband said, “For that, I won’t need paper!”

Then as he walked away she added,

“With strawberry sauce, please”.

He said,” I can remember 2 things.”

She said, “Here’s your pad, please add whipped cream too.”

He threw the pad down and stormed in the kitchen muttering about

the ‘stupid counselor!’

Twenty minutes later he came out and handed her a plate with bacon and

eggs.

She looked at it, looked up at him and said….”Where’s the toast?”

I cannot help it, I have told this at lunch table and to two of my male friends

who call. Everybody laughs! I enjoy it and pretty much have the long pause

down pat.

By the time I had ended the joke we were walking in the parking lot towards

my car. Ray, by the way, did not laugh. Not even a chuckle.

I said I had a very nice time. I wished that the restaurant wasn’t so

busy but that is what happens on Sat. nights. He nodded his head.

I am not sure what he was thinking but he gave me a perfunctory kiss on the

cheek and a pat on the back and turned to leave.

I kind of shouted at his retreating back, “I’ll call you when I get home!”

Hmmmm….

Don’t judge a book by its cover

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There are a lot of expressions, sayings that are passed on. I love that they

can trace most back to its beginning roots and enjoy reading about why we say

some of the goofy things we say.

But the expression, “don’t judge a book by its cover,” is pretty self-explanatory.

I think that as we get older, we are less judgmental all around. But then that

is a generalization, not necessarily true.

I think that there are average and below average people who are less confident

due to their poor self image. I am not talking about those people at this time. I

am going to write a little about my experiences with the men who would fit into

that category and responded with a wink or email to me on the dating site.

I want to say that I am less confident about my looks but do feel blessed that most

of my looks come from parents who never looked as old as they were and didn’t have

too many flaws in their outward (and I believe, in their inward) selves.

The men that are annoying are the ones who say they need attractive women. They are

not rich nor famous so that is puzzling. I mean who do you think you are? Donald Trump

may have beautiful women, etc. but these are average to below average looking men. Sorry

but this is the honest truth.

I had a friend who is above average that I had one man who had become my friend scout

her out while she was selling at a booth at our twice weekly Farmer’s Market. She reminds

me of a sister I wish I had. He said she was not attractive enough for him. I think that I blew

him away but I had to tell him the guy I chose over him is even less attractive than him. It was

the way the guy is inside that impressed me.

I cannot imagine how it is to be born unloved or not viewed in a positive way. We all become our

older selves from day one’s experiences. I believe our inner core is formed from those times that

our mother and/or father and/or adoptive mother/grandmother/foster parent viewed us. All

those cooing noises, smiles and loving touches build a strong inner core that exudes love and

caring. I will always feel loved whether or not a man loves me. Whether or not a boss yells at me,

other things that happen cannot take the survivor mode out of me. I hope and pray for each of you

that you find that inner peace and if your core was not formed of love, that you seek counseling and

enlightenment.