Lunch Table Talk
While listening to one of my friends talking about how she
had finally met a good “rebound guy” I am thinking back to
my unfortunate experiences of this in a reverse role. I cringe
inside as I listen to her saying things about the “man who is
going to get me over Dave!” (A Christmas through Easter
romance.) I have genuine concern for this recent “nice guy”
who is ‘wining and dining’ her.
I was a “rebound girl” at least twice in my life. I was so caught
up with the first young man, it did not dawn on me,
“This might not last!”
When it was close to being over, I got clingy. When I knew it
was definitely over, I went into near hysterics. I was very bereft
at the time. I thought that my involvement with this man would
be different from his ex-girlfriend’s fate. Although he had been
adamant to express her blame in the break-up, I had my doubts
as the “nails in my coffin” were in place! He had many times
given me some foreshadowing that could have been warnings
to stay clear of this man!
Here are a few of the signs you need to proceed with caution:
1. Every woman this man has been involved with caused the
break up or created the friction that ended the relationship.
This negativity can at first cause you to lend a very sympathetic
ear. (Oh yeah! I listened and murmured such empathetic
comments into this man’s ears. I vowed to never be as MEAN
as that EX was!)
Or the complete opposite is another possible warning as in:
2. The woman (or man) is always placed on a pedestal or
held in such high esteem you wonder,
“Why did he leave her in the first place?”
I have run into this one time where she was “Miss Perfect.”
Everyone, including me, paled in comparison with the glowing
description and details that should never have been imparted
to my vivid imagination! I think of the Beatles’ song, “Something
in the Way She Moves Me.” This song depicts this princess who
you need to realize you will try and try to win this man’s love, with
no possibility of overpassing this woman’s fine attributes.
Either way, situation one or situation two, you might as well give
up and move forward.
I lingered too long when the person was in the comparison stage.
I did not realize how many situations this would impact our
relationship. I could not cook the holiday meal as well. I could not
decorate or wrap presents in the wonderful way she did. I did not
like this but somehow it set me up for my competitive self to kick it
into high gear. When it was finally gasping its final gasping breath,
I realized there was relief after not being able to be “Miss Perfect.”
Now, let’s dish! Please tell me, have you ever been the rebound
person? Have you ever had a relationship purely to ‘get over’
another person? (In other words, you got involved to rebound
from that other person?) Now, come on, we are all friends
and confidantes, aren’t we?