My friend, Melvin, and I were the last ones out in the Mezzanine area
(again!) of the distribution center. As we were walking out, having
chased each other up and down, 72 aisles. Back and forth, sometimes
not having to go down an aisle due to product placement, one or the
other of us would get ahead. Melvyn spotted Robyn and his usual joke
is to say,
“There’s your twin, Robin!”
We laugh sometimes, at the unfortunate differences between the two
of us, my coworker named Robyn and I. But when Melvin jokes, I put
my ‘fake’ frown on and say,
“Hey! That’s not funny! “Twins” can’t have the same first name!”
Our appearances would not make us twins, our ages wouldn’t either.
She is almost ten years older. Robyn had light blonde hair that sticks
up like little feathers in a waif type hair cut. She is “losing it.” Sorry to
say this, but the managers and her coworkers are keeping her on
the payroll in respect for her 40 years of employment with Advance
Auto D.C. #23. She goes around to our now defunct sign up sheets
for “chores” like sweeping, dusting racks and stacking bin boxes.
She initials these papers that someone posts every Sunday evening
to keep her occupied.
I asked my favorite boss, Jake, one time, “Why doesn’t she switch to
days? You know she may have “Sun Downers” which is often a form
of dementia or Alzheimer’s. As the day winds down, these elderly
people start losing their memory. When we were in the nursing
home, my activity assistant and I tried to engage these particular
patients/clients early in the day while their thoughts seemed to
string together better. Often they were coherent, especially when
remembering their ‘distant’ past memories.
As most of you already know, ‘recent’ memory is harder to pull
out of thin air, but the past is rich in details. Some of you, my age
or older, have been dealing with a parent or relative that has
Jake had no clue (he was in his twenties when I started there and
asked this question) and said he would check with his boss, Mike B.
Never getting back to me, oh well…
Anyway, I want to describe this amusing character while I am not
making fun of her. I am delineating our differences so the chances
of being siblings will seem very slim. Robyn has bleach blonde hair
but either lost her eyebrows or is one of those women who has
plucked their eyebrow hairs all out and then she uses a very heavy
hand with the eyebrow pencil. I mean it is a thick black curved
arch! Her eye makeup has been also given an extra dose of
blue eyeshadow, showing off her blue eyes, we must presume.
She may be losing her sense of smell, also, since she must give
herself an extra ‘dose’ or a big spray of perfume. I cannot
identify it, but it is an older scent that when put on your warm
pressure points in a lighter fashion, can smell misty and sweet.
In the larger doses, Robyn can be identified easily by her trail left
behind or her cloud of scent approaching. She is always dressed
in nice shorts and a nice clean blouse. Robyn has been, sometime
in her past, a careful dresser and she must do her laundry earlier
in the day, because it is fresh smelling amid the odor of the
Robyn always says “Hi, I think you remind me of a friend I know
I wish I could tape this, so I could prove this is the very same
“opening line” she gives me, whether we run into each other
as she comes in at 3:30 p.m. or in the bathroom, aisles or like
today, in the Mezzanine. Melvin heard it for the very first time,
being located in the next aisle over; AHEAD of me again! I try
to cut him off at the pass, but he won’t let me. MEN!!
Anyway, today Melvin snickered and then let off a second
sound, a resounding “Snort!”
Now, I will tell you after we went two rows down, crossing
paths, trying to get the last orders done, after having put in
over 10 and a half hours. Don’t tell Melvin, but I loved that
“Snort!” It made me chuckle and it made me smile.
But, here he was face to face, saying the same “tired” joke,
“Hey there, I just saw your twin! And you cannot say you have
the same name! She clearly identified your true identity by
revealing your secret “twin” name: “Alice!”
I replied with a snarl, “I am going to get you back, Melvin!
Just you wait!”
Now, if you wish, help me to plot my “revenge” on Melvin!