Category Archives: Svengali

Its Not Meant to Be

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An Analysis of Recent Dates

My world is spinning, things have spun out of control.

Here is a bit of advice and wisdom from someone who has

been around awhile, past fifty years.

Wearing a t-shirt to a possible picnic, okay.

Wearing a t-shrit with holes and too short so when arms

are raised, belly shows, not okay.

Bringing a gift to meet someone’s mother, appropriate

and shaving is always nice, too.

Not thinking at all of these polite gestures, seems ‘out of

touch’ and possibly lacking respect.

My Dad was a “diamond in the rough,” Mom shares on the

phone.

I prefer not to tell her the “nitty, gritty” details…

After a wonderful date, mentioning how “horny” one is,

when in your teens or twenties, okay.

When same thing happens at age forty-six, not okay.

Spending time driving home from a far off place, nice.

Driving home and saying three days are ‘just too much

time spent together’ and would ‘like to get a 12 pack’ to

help a guy move into your apt. building, to get a “buzz

on,” not nice.

Focusing on texting about my surface appearance, sounds

very sweet,

But not looking deeper, means that I am an “object.”

Daily texts exceeding 40-50 times, even while I am mentioning

I have other plans, (including relaxing), not so sweet.

Keeping in touch through phone calls and texts for confirming

plans and saying “hello,” “good morning,” and “have a good

time!” are wonderful and reassuring.

Keeping in touch, and when I don’t answer within an hour,

asking if I am “mad” or breaking up,” not normal reactions.

Dependence deserves time,

independence needs to be the “norm.”

Keeping the “ship afloat” by daily contact is a friendly habit.

Keeping “even keel” helps the boat keep moving forward

and staying “cool” is the best kind of temperament.

Constant contact prevents the fun and interesting “longing” and

“missing” each other.

Anticipation is such a sweet emotion!

I enjoyed the fun, attention and youthful energy shown for the past

month. Sometimes, though, there were some “warning signals” that

I tend to always ignore.

Steps to build and create a relationship takes lots of time and effort,

but not all at once. Establishing ground rules must be done in a way

that both parties are contributing their thoughts, values and their

preferences.

Nothing permanent for this man who really tries hard to please.

Someone out there will benefit from the shower of attention and

be happy with the possibilities.

We were faced with almost ‘polar opposite’ personalities and habits.

It would have taken too much work to make these two puzzle pieces

fit together.

There are women who don’t mind spending time and indulging their

younger men. Both sexes have those who tend to want to “mold” their

partners. There are the “cougars” who are famous for this. Then, there

are the men like Svengali and Henry Higgins (character), for example.

But, I have been the “acceptor” and the “fixer” so many times in the

past. These roles wear thin quickly at my age.

It was “fun while it lasted.” I had my hopes up but gradually, I saw the

concerns forming.

Nothing personal and I hope all who read this can find their way and

find their partner. I had parents who felt the other one was their

“better half” and “soul mate.” I wish all, out there, to have this, too.

 

Although good friends are great to have, my search continues…