Category Archives: telephones

Truth or Dare?

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Who would think a pack of gum would get me thinking of my pre-

teen years?  When overnights would include such fun and exciting

games as, “Truth or Dare?” The gum is made by the Wm. Wrigley Jr.

Company, Chicago, Illinois  60642. Its label says, “RPM 5 Gum.”

It has “Truth or Dare” (some space and on another line), “Play and

You Could Win.” This gum product tastes like a citrusy-fruit flavor.

I would say it has a sour ‘front’ flavor changing into a sweeter ‘after’

flavor. It contains some not great’ sounding ingredients given as:

Soy Lecithin, Phenylketonurics and Phenylalanine. I am unsure of

what these would do to you, if you ate pack after pack, let alone

chewing to get the flavor then discarding it, as I do.

 

The clever side of the gum pack says:  “Post your truths. Share your

dares.”

 

The inside of the pack has a number which can be logged in to

“5TRUTHORDARE.COM” If you do so, you are entered to win

possibly a “$10,000 Adventure” or “One of 100,000 Instant Prizes.”

I seem to be going on a lot about the package facts, but here is the

fun part of the pack of gum,

Each stick of gum has a golden wrapper with 3 different choices.

I decided to write down just two gum sticks’ worth of choices:

1. The first stick of gum that I chewed from this pack had these

three choices on its golden wrapper:

a. “Dare:  Record five different sounds made with this gum

wrapper.”

My reaction, you may be able to talk muffled through it,

you may be able to attempt whistling (like a blade of grass)

with it between your lips or you could just crinkle it and make

scratchy sounds from the wrapper.

b. “Truth:  If you were granted one wish what would you

ask for?”

*** This is up for grabs if you wish to answer this in the

comments section…***

c. “Dare:  Visit five places today that you’ve never been to.

Post pictures at #5TruthOrDare.

***If you have some extra time to spare after reading this,

please fill us in on five places you have never been to, that

you would wish to go.***

 

2. The second piece of gum that I chewed, after lunch had

these three choices given:

a. “Dare:  Do as many push ups as you can in one minute.”

***Sorry, I did not ‘take this dare!’

b. “Truth:  What foods have sent tears streaming down your

face?”

***I will ask you, do you wish to answer this one?***

c. “Dare:  Drop what you are doing and play air guitar.”

Okay, I did this intentionally by Melvin, since he is one

of the crazy people who would not make fun of me. So,

I stopped him up in the Mezzanine, filling orders and

pushing our carts, he was coming from one direction in

a row of products, I was coming from the opposite way,

facing him. I got in front of my car so he could see me,

I leaned forward with my air guitar and then, to be more

dramatic, I got on one knee, closed my eyes and held it

above my head.

Then, I calmly went back to behind my cart and continued

forward. When we got together in the middle of the aisle,

Melvin being the ‘cool dude’ that he is, looked at me and

smiled then he said,

“So Robin . . . Was that Santana or Jagger?”

(I sure did want to hug him for this great comment, which

completed my Dare so well! I mean, I could not have asked

for a better reaction!)

 

At slumber parties, as my friends and I got older, we liked to

try and slip out of the house. Sometimes, it was quite innocent

and we would sit out in the cool, damp grass, whispering.

Other times, we had asked a group of guys to come by, which

would involve a little bit of logistics and stamina. There were

times the guys would be later or not even show up. We never

necked or made out with the guys. We may have held hands or

gotten a hug. We would tingle with anticipation for what kind

of moves the guys would make on us?

These were much anticipated and filled with excitement, just

to get this attention and level of participation and interaction.

 

When I reached high school age, my parents liked us to come

home, so it was rare to get to have sleepovers or go somewhere

else. My favorite parties, (have probably shared this more than

once), were marching band, science club and theater after parties.

The drama group was more likely to be wilder and have some of

those “Truth or Dare” situations. I always smile when I think of

the times when the marijuana joints were passed over my head

or the chivalrous guys would say I didn’t have to carry out some

of the more sexually oriented ‘dares.’ It was a fun way to pass the

time and I did do two dares after I reached 16 years old. The first

entailed going in a closet with a boy for, “__ Seconds of  Heaven.”

I have heard people say how many seconds their friends would

count out loud, but I swear my friends counted to “Seven.” Does

not sound like very long. . . Was it due to rhyming with “Heaven?”

 

I do remember playing ‘tricks’ on girls in their sleeping bags at Girl

Scout camp. One was we would get hot water dipping one of their

hands into a container. Supposedly, sometimes people would then

‘pee’ in some age groups. We did not have this happen. Ever. We

also took a person out of our tent, using three girls to help us and

put her in another bunk bed in another platform tent. Switching

beds was hilarious, we thought, at the time! Our ‘dares’ seem rather

tame now. The common things we liked to do at slumber parties

were to fix each other’s hair, practice make-up skills, call up boys

and usually hang up, prank call other people and play with the

mystical Ouija Board, calling for Spirits to come forward. This

would raise the hair on my arms. We liked listening to music,

practicing our ‘dance moves’ and watching late night movies.

 

In answer to one wish I would make: Good health for my whole

family. (Hoping longevity would accompany this unspoken wish.)

 

In answer to the five places I would like to go:

1.  England, Ireland and Scotland.

2.  California; Driving across the country.

3.  Hawaii or an Island cruise.

4.  Canada; More around the whole country, not just

where I have been to. (Niagara Falls, Toronto and Quebec)

5.  Australia and New Zealand.

 

What do you remember being your bravest “Dare” that you took?

Were there any memorable ‘antics’ or ‘challenges’ you did not take

but someone else did?

Rolling with Laughter

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Coworkers are my source of humor and constancy in my daily routine.

We tend to miss each other over weekends, sometimes I feel it is due

to our being ‘displaced’ from our lines of preferred professions. All of

my fellow table mates at lunch and break were in other jobs before they

came to work at the warehouse.

When Melvin went off to Massachusetts, the week seemed to drag

forever.

 

This week, just the first three days already, have been hysterical. He

regales us with tall tales of lobster 3 or 4 times eaten daily. He is also

teaching us more and more about the Army life he led.

 

You may remember a long ago post about Melvin being raised by

parents from an island. By the time they came to America, they had

chosen Massachusetts as their home. I think the link, “cous cous” may

connect you to that story. . . We feel this is an interesting ‘thread’ that

connects the two of us. Since my Mom’s parents were both immigrants,

meeting on a street corner in New York City, but choosing to live in

Connecticut. My Grandpa’s father had chosen Massachusetts, where

my Grandpa went to school and his sister lived there, once adults.

Grandpa had moved away from there to go to the engineering or

‘technical college’ in New York City. He knows we both like many of

the New England specialties, too.

 

Melvin had been a good student in school. He decided to go into the

Army to get a ‘free education.’ Instead, he found his true interest or

“calling” in cooking. He did not go to culinary arts institute. He went

to Germany while in the Army, where he had an amazing time learning

about German food preparation. Then, he followed this with his next

tour of duty being spent on the Army base in Hawaii. Where native

fresh fruits are part of the daily Army diet. He excitedly described to us

at break today, they are also cut specially into shapes like lotus flowers

and birds, presented on the platters as ‘garnishes.’

We pursued this culinary specialty subject awhile, “Not in Officer’s

Club, but Mess Hall grub has garnishes?”

“Yes,” Melvin intoned then elaborating, “The different things you

can create varies from vegetables to fruits. A large melon, zucchini,

radishes or apples you make sliced criss-crosses, blanch them in

boiling water and quickly place them in icy water. The hot water gets

them to open up like a lotus blossom.”

He added, “Did you know that the Army never adds new amounts

of a food to an older dish?” (You know how while at a buffet or a

salad bar, they add more potato salad to the old? Nope, this NEVER

happens in the Army dining room!)

 

So, Melvin brought me the delicious German wine last year, which

he mentioned that in Germany at Christmas, the shops downtown

have little tables of treats and ‘shot glasses’ of drinks. They also warm

their wines and give out tastes of these. He contributed to my sense

of ‘culture’ while I shared this with my Mom and family last year.

Mom said a toast in German, which was one about health and love.

(My Mom’s mother was born in Germany. She told me to thank

Melvin. He had bought this on the Rickenbacker Air Force base,

as a gift to me. So thoughtful, you can see why he is a ‘keeper,’

when it comes to friends!)

 

Another morsel he shared with us was of an Army skill he acquired

while in Germany. He informed us they would bring in huge blocks

of ice and there would be one skilled ice sculptor who would create

lovely centerpieces for Army banquets at holidays. He apprenticed

and learned this amazing skill.

Again, we asked Melvin, “Do you mean ordinary Army enlisted men

would have banquets with carved ice decorations on their tables?”

We were incredulous. I am hoping there may be some enlisted men

from the past, who will confirm this outlandish ‘story.’

Really, please let me know. . .

“Yes,” Melvin looked and sounded like he had the Bible and would

“solemnly swear that this was the truth, the whole truth, so help

him God.”

Melvin then proceeded to tell us about mountains, ski cabins and

other etchings in his German ice sculptures. Then, he decided to

mention how he created elaborate Hawaiian ice sculptures with

volcanoes, trees and ocean waves along beaches. He had learned

how to, sculpt detailed floral arrangements out of ice. We wished

he had photographs but we believe his stories.

 

So, when Melvin got back from Massachusetts, we listened to how

he and his ‘my lady’ had lobster omelets, lobster rolls and lobster

linguini. He emphatically repeated this annoying part (we were

jealous, that is why we were annoyed), “I ate lobster 3 or 4 times

a day!” Upon repetition,  we still did not roll our eyes, since he was

entertaining us quite brilliantly. Never a dull moment at the good,

old warehouse with Melvin around.

 

Melvin’s accent had changed over his one week “Back home, out East.”

He vocalizes the sound of his “r’s” to “h’s” so his car was a “cah.” You

could close your eyes and imagine a Kennedy speaking. He sounds so

“cultured.” We tell him he should take his “lady friend” to England

and get their full ‘edification.’ Come back with a British accent. Then,

being the dramatic ‘ham’ that he is, he put his little pinky out and

pretended to hold a tea cup and saucer. He attempted an imitation

British tea party, exclaiming “Cheerio, my deah ones, we need to

order some crumpets and scones.”

 

Melvin told us how offended he was McDonald’s thinks “frappes”

sound like “frapays” while most New Englanders know “frappes”

rhyme with “wraps.” The real ‘frappes’ are delicious old fashioned

milk shakes made of real ice cream and whole milk, with flavors with

real chocolate syrup or real whipped cream. It makes me think of the

rants that began with this funny question, “Don’t you understand the

words that are coming out of my mouth?” from the two movies, with

Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker in “Rush Hour’ (one and two.)

 

Whenever Melvin opens his mouth, we laugh. He is full of spirit, likes

to tease and pull your leg. There is always a chance,  at any moment,

for his voice to  become high-pitched and indignant about something.

This is what he calls his “Ohio homey’s” slang and attitude.

 

The story Melvin finished with was about his days of being the Head

Cook at the Marysville Penitentiary. He claims that at any point in

time, you could run into a sister of a male inmate, while she is in

the female cellblocks. Or a mother! There was a special occasion,

where the Warden had arranged for a comedienne named, Monique,

to entertain the inmates. She is a known African American stand-up

comic, who uses ‘blue’ (vulgar) humor in her sketches and anecdotes.

Melvin smiled wide, snorting while remembering some of the skits

or jokes she told.

Melvin finally stopped laughing and  said, “The Warden got up from

his seat in the front of the room, apparently unaware of her type of

humor, with a bright red face, looking down as he walked to the back

of the room, quietly exiting. Everyone clapped and hooted, encouraging

this Monique to ‘carry on,’ with her crass jokes.”

 

I had a chance to change the subject at second break and told my

good friends that yesterday was the 51st anniversary of Push Button

Telephones. (I had already decided to post about the serious subject

of Malala and her Nobel Peace Prize.) So, you are finding this fact

out a day later than my coworkers!

 

ATT first presented these new phones to Pennsylvania residents on

November 18, 1963. The original Push Button phones had only ten

buttons, while in 1968 they added two more buttons (#) and (*). This

squared off phone replaced my favorite old fashioned  rotary phone.

Going along with the raucous humor and our improved mood, since

it was our Melvin’s long-lost return, we used our fingers to squeeze

our noses, to make our vocalizations to sound nasal and together

we imitated one of the greatest comedians ever, Lily Tomlin, by

chanting:

“One ringy dingy, two ringy dingy” and so forth, making the funny

character of the old time operator from variety shows of the 60’s

of “Ernestine,” come back alive. Tammy and I were rolling while

Melvin, who is a great imitator of voices, was pretending to be

the character.

 

In honor of Melvin, though, I will tell you his favorite singer is not

who you would expect. If you remember my post, “Someone Saved

My Life Today,” you may remember Melvin loves Elton John, so

does his girlfriend. The songs he says are ones that get him up and

dancing are:

“Honky Cat” and “Crocodile Rock.”

Melvin is one ‘hep cat’ who knows how to ‘jive!’

 

Summer Laughs

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Thanks to Mark, who gave me this title on a Hump Day, a week or so, back.

It was where I had little funny jokes or stories, where a witty comeback line

‘closed’ each one of them. I love the idea of looking for ‘summer’ chuckles

so here are some that I found for you to enjoy!

Now, if Mark will guffaw loudly enough to be heard by all, from his Syracuse,

New York location, this will make my day!

http://markbialczak.com

 

After the jokes, there will be a musical moment, since Mark’s posts include

sports (which I am ‘sketchy’ on), entertainment and his perspectives on Life.

 

In the days when I was a single Mom, I discovered the quaint and the very good

idea of bringing children and being a faithful Christian by going to church every

Sunday and Wednesday nights!

One summer Wednesday evening, I heard our pastor catch my attention and the

whole congregation’s by exclaiming out loud:

“Sex!”

The congregation quit fidgeting and suddenly were giving their full and rapt

attention!

Everyone had fallen into total silence.

Then, they started to look nervously at each other, afraid to say anything.

In the back of the church, one of the elderly women stood up, she was a

sweet and beloved member of the church.

She started singing in her soprano voice,

“Memories.”

(This is a joke, hope you liked this first one of my Summer Laughs’ Series!)

 

2. “One lazy summer morning, a long married couple were sitting

over their coffee, toast and cereal, being quiet and thoughtful.

The husband was reading the newspaper, they had the radio on

and this was a nice way to begin one of their many retirement days.

The husband looked up from the paper and happened to say to her,

“Dear, when I die you may go ahead and remarry. I just hope you

don’t choose a jerk the next time around.”

The wife sat, chewing her breakfast, drinking sips of her coffee and

then, stunned  her husband by replying:

“Honey, what makes you think I would make that mistake again?”

A few funny summer jokes, found in pieces of mail from my Mom’s

friend, Pookie, from California follow!

 

3. In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was wearing

a tight skirt, approached the bus.

As it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was

too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step

of the bus.

She was slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus

driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking

that this would give her enough slack in the skirt to raise her leg.

This time she still wasn’t able to raise her leg high enough to

embark on the bus.

She looked at the bus driver, embarrassed again, reaching behind

to unzip her skirt.

She tried this one more time attempting the step.

Once again, to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

About this time, a tall Texan who had been standing behind her the

whole time, waiting himself to get onto the bus, picked the young

woman in her tight and fashionable pencil skirt and placed her

gently on the bus.

The young woman exclaimed,

“How dare you do this? I don’t even know who you are!”

The Texan smiled and drawled,

“Well, Ma’m, normally I would agree with you. After you

unzipped my fly three times, I kinda’ figured we were friends!”

 

4. A “Maxine” Fourth of July joke:

This older woman, wearing an American flag on her shirt,

from the comic strip created by John Wagner, “Maxine” says:

“Until you almost lose a finger helping set off fireworks,

you can’t really call yourself a Patriot!”

My 85 year old Mom liked that one, but added:

“If you haven’t had your whiskers singed by a sparkler,

then you really haven’t had a ‘blast’ for the Fourth!”

(She was a big provider of sparklers, over the years,

to my children, and now, grandchildren!

 

5. This joke should be actually considered a little bit of a ‘rant!’

It could be considered,”Lesson on Changes in Technology!”

It is accompanied by an appropriate photograph!

“All you, young ‘whippersnappers’ will never know…

The satisfaction of slamming down a receiver on a

Rotary Phone!!”

 

(Now, if you are ever in Goodwill or Salvation Army,

check out all those old-fashioned phones. If you have

any grandchildren, grab one or two. They absolutely

LOVE playing with the dials and the buttons on either

the dial rotary phones or the push button ones! I have

a couple and the grandkids call each other. I also wish

to share this fact: In the song, “Five Little Monkeys”

there is a line, where you use the motion of actually

dialing a telephone, “Mama called the Doctor and the

Doctor said, “No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”

My grandkids now understand the reason why you

use one hand up to your ear and the other to make a

circular motion!” Also, my preschoolers, special ed.

teaching experience loved how heavy those phones

were, dragging their cords around behind them, while

“pretend” talking on them!!)

 

 

Oh, if you didn’t see the great article in the Sunday newspaper about

the 23 year old, Ed Sheeran, don’t forget that he did a collaboration

with Pharrell Williams, who I featured in the post, “The Man Behind

Happy.”

Ed Sheeran, who sang, “Daydream,” and was nominated for a Grammy

this year, made it into my 1/28/14 post about the Grammy Awards.

Also, that he is a Brit, who had played with Taylor Swift, on her “RED

tour,” and has been friends with two of the show, “Friends, Courtney Cox

and Jennifer Anniston.

“The Lego House” and “A Team” led him to be in the Top Ten songs’ lists,

along with his becoming close to Elton John, Usher and other famous

singers are helping this young man to soar. I am happy to report that one

of his goals is to be ‘settled down with a family by age 33!’ He is dating a

chef, who he is close to but doesn’t bring her into the limelight. His mother,

father and brother are very important to him, too!

Ed Sheeran, also was in my post about the “Voice” and “American Idol”

season finales, since one or two of his songs made it onto those shows. His

carefree spring/summer song is, “Sing” done in collaboration with Pharrell

Williams.

HAVE A HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!

All around the world:

LET FREEDOM RING TO LAUGH!!