When my Mom gets her large package of humorous emails, she
likes me to read them aloud to her. Some of these she has already
sorted through, deciding which ‘belongs on Robin’s blog,’ while
others she has ‘censored’ or marked ‘just plain stupid.’ I read her
all the Thanksgiving funnies, throwing them into my folder to
save for 2015, while I found a few that were for men to make fun
of women and some of women to make fun of men. It made sense
for me to publish them as a whole, saying this thought:
“Can’t we (girls and boys) all just get along?”
This is for the Ladies’ First:
“A man came home from work and found his three children outside,
still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and
20 wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife’s car was open and so was the front door to the
house. There was no sign of the dog.
When he entered their home, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp
had been knocked over and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the family room, the t.v. was loudly blaring on the cartoon channel.
The toys and various items of clothing were strewn everywhere.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the
counter and the refrigerator door was open wide. The dog food had been
spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table and a small pile
of sand was spread by the back door.
The man of the house walked quickly through the rooms, scanning for
any signs of his wife. He climbed up the stairs to the second floor,
getting nervous, almost frantic. He stepped over toys and more piles
of clothes. . .
He was worried that she might be ill or that something serious may
When he got outside the closed bathroom door, there was a small
amount of water. At last! Some sign or explanation!
When he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more
toys thrown over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and there
was tooth paste smeared over the floor length mirror and on the walls.
When he rushed out of the bathroom into the next bedroom, he found
his wife curled up in bed in her pajamas, reading a paperback book.
He looked at her bewildered and had to rein in his voice from his
impulse to yell at her,
“What happened here today?”
She looked at him and smiled,
“How was your day?”
He ignored the question and repeated his own question.
She gave him a big smile then and answered,
“You know every day when you come home from work and you ask
me ‘What in the world do you do all day?”
“Yes,” her husband answered in an incredulous voice.
“Well, today I didn’t do it.”
This is for “idiot” bosses, either female or male:
“People gathered for a goodbye luncheon for an old and dear
coworker who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing.’
As we were leaving the restaurant, the manager commented
“This was fun. We should do this more often.”
The comment was met with stunned silence. Not another
word was spoken.
The coworkers all just looked at each other, with that ‘deer in
the headlights’ stare.
We got into our cars not knowing how to take the comment.”
This is for the Men, who so to speak, get the ‘last word in.’
“During a recent woman’s medical examination, a British doctor
“Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine.
Now, let me see the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of
The woman started to take down her knickers, but was stopped
by the doctor interrupting this procedure by saying,
“No, no! Just stick out your tongue!”
This is for all of us coffee drinkers, who could not maintain our
sanity or attention to details without it. Thanks, Maxine!
“I don’t know what I’d do without my morning coffee. . .
probably Twenty-five to Life in the state penitentiary.”
This is for all of those who enjoy little tyke’s who say the ‘darndest
“A minister was presenting the Children’s Sermon and asked the
children if they knew what the word, “resurrection” was.
Asking questions in front of the whole congregation, with only
the kids up in front, may lead to some ‘dangerous’ or ‘sketchy’
answers, but this one really does take the cake!
Finally, after the children were restless and looking around and not
answering the minister, one boy raised his hand. He pronounced his
answer loudly and clearly:
“I don’t know what ‘resurrection’ is but I do know that if it lasts more
than four hours you are supposed to call a doctor.”
Laughter and tears ensued, rolling in the aisle commenced. . .
It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough
for the Adult Sermon to be preached.”
In this post I have written today, although I feel the jokes are quite
I wish to let you know they each have a stereotype in them.
You know I believe in fairness, equality and making everyone feeling
on this blog. . .
I usually worry about these things, edit and make them fit everyone
and never show a lack of respect for most people. I even have had to
Sorry, this time. . .
I am going to “Let it go.”